Wife Sharing

[Sam1888]

Hi all, my first attempt at this so be gentle with me. Lol.

NEW BLOOD

You love your wife, she loves you too
It’s just pure pleasure, this thing you do
Fulfilling her needs shows you care
That is why you want to share

Her figure has always turned you on
Your passion for her has never gone
Her body’s too good to keep to yourself
Marriage doesn’t mean she’s on the shelf

Her desires and wants need satisfied
Her lust for more cock can’t be denied
So to your bed you introduce new blood
As you share her with another stud

It heightens your senses, this competition
But doesn’t distract you from your mission
Which is her complete sexual satiation
Her body positively glows in anticipation

On her knees, with mouth and hand
Of your cocks she takes command
You both harden instantly to her touch
You’ve never wanted her quite so much

As she stands, a wicked smile crosses her lips
Walking to bed, devilment in the sway of her hips
She lies on her back opening legs with poise
Teasing, “Well now, lets be having you boys!”

With lustful intentions you both advance
Erections aching to take the chance
Of fucking this wanton bitch in heat
And making her cum on your throbbing meat

As you lay beside her, either side
Her lust for you she cannot hide
She groans as on her nipples you suck
Grabbing cocks she moans “I want to fuck!”

He lies on his back, cock standing true
His magnificence means she’s lost too you
Her eyes widen and breath flutters
“He’s so big!” She almost stutters

With both hands she starts to stroke
His huge cock as hard as oak
To prepare her pussy for what’s to come
You lubricate with mouth and tongue

Pussy dripping from your attention
And her big cock interaction
You’d swear she almost starts to drool
As she begs to fuck that massive tool

With her eyes she starts to plead
You nod for her to take the lead
She doesn’t need told a second time
As over his body she starts to climb

She moans in anticipation of her new lover
As over his cock she pauses to hover
And as your wife guides him in
You both know it’s not a sin

A sharp breath she inhales
As on that monster she impales
Every inch her pussy devours
Makes her juices flow in showers

Precum drips from your throbbing cock
This is now reality and not just talk
Seeing how much you’re enjoying the show
She grabs your cock like she’ll never let go

She sucks you and you won’t last long
As you watch her fuck that massive dong
Not a problem as she starts to quiver
She orgasms as his cum flows like a river

You fill her mouth with your seed
At her fulfilling her every need
You all collapse completely spent
Realising this pleasure is heaven sent

So be assured it’s not just you
Your beautiful wife wants it too
Her wants and needs and desires
Of new cock she never tires

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Hi and welcome
Writing in rhyming couplets brings all sorts of difficulties and might I suggest you read this thread on the subject as some of the lengths of your lines seem to wander off on their own.
Couplets

Another thing is (and please remember this is critique and not criticism) after a while so much rhyming is very hard on the eye (and the brain). There is plenty of other form poetry that incorporates form but isn't so hard to digest. You can see the explanation of those here The Thread of Forms

 

[Sam1888]

Hi and welcome
Writing in rhyming couplets brings all sorts of difficulties and might I suggest you read this thread on the subject as some of the lengths of your lines seem to wander off on their own.
Couplets

Another thing is (and please remember this is critique and not criticism) after a while so much rhyming is very hard on the eye (and the brain). There is plenty of other form poetry that incorporates form but isn't so hard to digest. You can see the explanation of those here The Thread of Forms

So nothing you liked then. .

Thanks for taking the time to read it though, and thanks for the critique.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I always like those that attempt Forms, many won't because they feel restricted by the rules, but hey it's your poem and nobody can make you change a thing.
Funnily enough my first attempt here was a rhyming form and erotic at that! That's when I thought poetry was only rhyme, but I stayed and learned, got a kick in the pants now and then and learned to teach others. I'm willing to teach you, if you'll let me.

 

[Sam1888]

I always like those that attempt Forms, many won't because they feel restricted by the rules, but hey it's your poem and nobody can make you change a thing.
Funnily enough my first attempt here was a rhyming form and erotic at that! That's when I thought poetry was only rhyme, but I stayed and learned, got a kick in the pants now and then and learned to teach others. I'm willing to teach you, if you'll let me.

I am under no illusion that my ability is basic at best. I must admit I read some other forms of poetry and marvel at the creativity. It would be fun to learn, but be warned you may need the patience of a saint, if you take on this pupil. Lol. Let me know if you are willing to take on the challenge.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I am under no illusion that my ability is basic at best. I must admit I read some other forms of poetry and marvel at the creativity. It would be fun to learn, but be warned you may need the patience of a saint, if you take on this pupil. Lol. Let me know if you are willing to take on the challenge.

You're on but be aware there are some Forms I won't touch with a barge pole and if you want those you'll have to talk to Tzara!
You can find my former Teach ins Here to give you some idea.

 

[Sam1888]

You're on but be aware there are some Forms I won't touch with a barge pole and if you want those you'll have to talk to Tzara!
You can find my former Teach ins Here to give you some idea.

Thank you for taking the time to educate me. I’m happy to have you guide me. How do we start?

 

[Sam1888]

Lovely.

The poem or the critique?

 

[Texastuffbbc]

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I enjoy the rhyming nature of writing. Great job and extremely visual. Keep up the good work.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I'll give you a choice a fun non rhyming Form or an easy rhyming one, choose wisely lol

 

[Sam1888]

.......

 

[Sam1888]

Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

I enjoy the rhyming nature of writing. Great job and extremely visual. Keep up the good work.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. Glad you liked it, was beginning to think no one did, as lots of views, but few replies.

 

[Sam1888]

I'll give you a choice a fun non rhyming Form or an easy rhyming one, choose wisely lol

Was hoping you could maybe teach me the non rhyming form as it is a mystery too me?

 

[Sam1888]

Bump

Hi all, my first attempt at this so be gentle with me. Lol.

NEW BLOOD

You love your wife, she loves you too
It’s just pure pleasure, this thing you do
Fulfilling her needs shows you care
That is why you want to share

Her figure has always turned you on
Your passion for her has never gone
Her body’s too good to keep to yourself
Marriage doesn’t mean she’s on the shelf

Her desires and wants need satisfied
Her lust for more cock can’t be denied
So to your bed you introduce new blood
As you share her with another stud

It heightens your senses, this competition
But doesn’t distract you from your mission
Which is her complete sexual satiation
Her body positively glows in anticipation

On her knees, with mouth and hand
Of your cocks she takes command
You both harden instantly to her touch
You’ve never wanted her quite so much

As she stands, a wicked smile crosses her lips
Walking to bed, devilment in the sway of her hips
She lies on her back opening legs with poise
Teasing, “Well now, lets be having you boys!”

With lustful intentions you both advance
Erections aching to take the chance
Of fucking this wanton bitch in heat
And making her cum on your throbbing meat

As you lay beside her, either side
Her lust for you she cannot hide
She groans as on her nipples you suck
Grabbing cocks she moans “I want to fuck!”

He lies on his back, cock standing true
His magnificence means she’s lost too you
Her eyes widen and breath flutters
“He’s so big!” She almost stutters

With both hands she starts to stroke
His huge cock as hard as oak
To prepare her pussy for what’s to come
You lubricate with mouth and tongue

Pussy dripping from your attention
And her big cock interaction
You’d swear she almost starts to drool
As she begs to fuck that massive tool

With her eyes she starts to plead
You nod for her to take the lead
She doesn’t need told a second time
As over his body she starts to climb

She moans in anticipation of her new lover
As over his cock she pauses to hover
And as your wife guides him in
You both know it’s not a sin

A sharp breath she inhales
As on that monster she impales
Every inch her pussy devours
Makes her juices flow in showers

Precum drips from your throbbing cock
This is now reality and not just talk
Seeing how much you’re enjoying the show
She grabs your cock like she’ll never let go

She sucks you and you won’t last long
As you watch her fuck that massive dong
Not a problem as she starts to quiver
She orgasms as his cum flows like a river

You fill her mouth with your seed
At her fulfilling her every need
You all collapse completely spent
Realising this pleasure is heaven sent

So be assured it’s not just you
Your beautiful wife wants it too
Her wants and needs and desires
Of new cock she never tires

Bump.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Was hoping you could maybe teach me the non rhyming form as it is a mystery too me?

There are masses of non rhyming forms but an easy one to start with is the Acrostic. Actually I do mine with paper and pen! Think of a subject to write about then chose a 5 letter (or more but don't go mad!) word connected with that subject.
Write the word downwards on the page.. see here.
R
I
V
E
R.
Then start filling in the lines each of which must begin with those letters and the content to be about a river or close to that and each line of a similar length. There are more forms of Acrostics i.e double, quadruple but we'll get to those later.
.
Rivulets of moisture hanging in the air,
Incandescent in the bright sunlight,
Vibrate with a need to meet and join
Endless others restlessly journeying,
Racing onwards, seeking mighty rivers.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Now I wrote that in 5 minutes flat so I'm expecting better from you! No need to highlight your initial letters and chose your own word and subject.

 

[Sam1888]

Now I wrote that in 5 minutes flat so I'm expecting better from you! No need to highlight your initial letters and chose your own word and subject.

Right, so I’m not sure I have the intellectual acumen or vocabulary to be able to learn this stuff, so I may be a lost cause I’m afraid. Here is my attempt, if you think I’m beyond help, let me know and we can call it a day, with no hard feelings.

Life is like a list
Items you tick off
Soon it will be done
Time will have run out
So on to emptiness

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Right, so I’m not sure I have the intellectual acumen or vocabulary to be able to learn this stuff, so I may be a lost cause I’m afraid. Here is my attempt, if you think I’m beyond help, let me know and we can call it a day, with no hard feelings.

Life is like a list
Items you tick off
Soon it will be done
Time will have run out
So on to emptiness

Of course you're not beyond help, well done, just don't forget your punctuation.

 

[Sam1888]

Of course you're not beyond help, well done, just don't forget your punctuation.

Thanks, but I’m not sure I understand what I’m doing with this. Does this work?

Falling into the abyss,
Arms flailing uselessly,
Impossible to stop,
Life passing by,
Unable to breath,
Reaching for the past,
End of life is bliss.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thanks, but I’m not sure I understand what I’m doing with this. Does this work?

Falling into the abyss,
Arms flailing uselessly,
Impossible to stop,
Life passing by,
Unable to breath,
Reaching for the past,
End of life is bliss.

Yes but you can flesh that out a bit, it doesn't have to be so truncated, also now that you've got your initial letters you don't need to start each line with a capital, only each sentence. But of course it's your poem you don't have to change it at all, this is just an example.
.
Falling into the abyss with
arms flailing uselessly, it's
impossible to stop, and I feel
life passing me by. I'm gasping
unable to breathe!
Reaching for the past, safety;
end of life, is it bliss?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I haven't forgotten you guys who wanted rhyming forms and I'm on it!

 

[Sam1888]

Yes but you can flesh that out a bit, it doesn't have to be so truncated, also now that you've got your initial letters you don't need to start each line with a capital, only each sentence. But of course it's your poem you don't have to change it at all, this is just an example.
.
Falling into the abyss with
arms flailing uselessly, it's
impossible to stop, and I feel
life passing me by. I'm gasping
unable to breathe!
Reaching for the past, safety;
end of life, is it bliss?

Thanks, I see now, that flows much better.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The next step would be a Double Acrostic where the end letters reading upwards also spell out your word!
.
Take tiny stitches and you'll find
Hopefully that very soon an idea
Reveals an exquisite woven life,
Entirely created from blended colour
And through it all run enough
Daydreams to bring it all to light.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

We can however move onto a rhyming form, if you wish.

 

[gxnn]

A Chinese Reader Is Watching You

This topic is very funny, which has successfully drawn the attention of a foreigner, who knows some English, maybe up to the level of high school boy in the US, haha.

In my country, there are many avid fans of English who like to translate their poems or poems of ancient times into English, but their problem is easy to find, they only think that a good poem is one with good rhyming, but I strongly doubt that because obviously even a school boy with little education can make a limerick to amaze his parents or peers, but that is absolutely a good poem in the sense we know.

So you two or three, please go on, don't let me down.