"wife" is having an affair

[lookingforadvic]

I find myself in quite a situation... I was in a relationship with a girl for 10 years and we lived together for 1 year. We're both in our thirties and were each other's only sex partners. For about half a year, she reconnected with someone with wich she had chemistry over facebook. They started talking everyday for hours (she's unemployed). In the meantime our sex life went stale - we both started masturbating more often than actually having sex.

A few months ago in a jealous fit I confronted her and she finally admitted that she had a crush on the guy. We decided it'd be better if we no longer lived together so she took a house with 2 more roomates. We continued seeing each other, first as friends and eventually we went back to being lovers. Yet, last week she slept with the guy - in fact we actually had sex after that and she chose no to tell me. And she did it again this week. I only found out because she told me she was planning on sleeping with him and eventually the truth came out.

She says it's just sex and that she's doing it because she gets a kick out of it. She also says she's planning on continuing to sleep with him and wants to be friends. I told her I couldn't and she's freaking out saying she loves me but that she only wants sex with him.

I'm not so much jealous of the fact that she's having sex with another guy but I'm very upset that she chose to lie about it. That and she clearly makes an effort to be a better person and lover to him but has no interest in doing so for me... Not at the moment anyway. I guess what upsets me most is just last year I was in her spot. I was very close to a person and we nearly became lovers. Yet I opted out because I was in a steady relationship...

What should I do?

 

[Squibbs]

Dump her and grow some balls, loser.

 

[thør]

I find myself in quite a situation... I was in a relationship with a girl for 10 years and we lived together for 1 year. We're both in our thirties and were each other's only sex partners. For about half a year, she reconnected with someone with wich she had chemistry over facebook. They started talking everyday for hours (she's unemployed). In the meantime our sex life went stale - we both started masturbating more often than actually having sex.

A few months ago in a jealous fit I confronted her and she finally admitted that she had a crush on the guy. We decided it'd be better if we no longer lived together so she took a house with 2 more roomates. We continued seeing each other, first as friends and eventually we went back to being lovers. Yet, last week she slept with the guy - in fact we actually had sex after that and she chose no to tell me. And she did it again this week. I only found out because she told me she was planning on sleeping with him and eventually the truth came out.

She says it's just sex and that she's doing it because she gets a kick out of it. She also says she's planning on continuing to sleep with him and wants to be friends. I told her I couldn't and she's freaking out saying she loves me but that she only wants sex with him.

I'm not so much jealous of the fact that she's having sex with another guy but I'm very upset that she chose to lie about it. That and she clearly makes an effort to be a better person and lover to him but has no interest in doing so for me... Not at the moment anyway. I guess what upsets me most is just last year I was in her spot. I was very close to a person and we nearly became lovers. Yet I opted out because I was in a steady relationship...

What should I do?

You're going to need a few things; a putty knife, a roll of 36 exposure TriX, and a clutch-head screwdriver.

 

[KRCummings]

Did you lose your balls in the war?

 

[SalviaDivinorum]

I don't know, but when you've figured it out, maybe you can start an advic column and help others in a similar situation?

 

[lookingforadvic]

Hehe I guess I deserved it.

I'm kind of in a downer and she knows how to play me so that kind of shock advice is most definitely what I need.

Thanks guys

 

[JudasIscariot]

A. Blow both their heads clean off then go on a rampage

B. man the fuck up, get over that slut cunt and get on with your life and stop being such an assclown

 

[parodyluvr75]

Does the cheating bother you? Does the lying? Does the fact you missed an opportunity being loyal to someone who was disloyal? You're justifiably upset.

I'll give her points for coming clean.

Even if her relationship with him ceases, there will be another.

I think people cheat because of insecurity or for self-gratification or both. A person can love you and be disloyal.

The question you should ask yourself is the relationship worth it?

If it harms your ego and worth, I'd say no.

 

[imrhapsody]

You're going to need a few things; a putty knife, a roll of 36 exposure TriX, and a clutch-head screwdriver.

Hahaha, Thor that made me laugh.

I think, it might be time to move on. She obviously is wanting to play and have sex with other men. Beside just the dangers of this alone, the fact she is having sex with two men at the same time tells me she is not loyal to you. Please reflect on why you go back to her and move passed that. And, if all else fails you're going to need a few things; a putty knife, a roll of 36 exposure TriX, and a clutch-head screwdriver.

 

[beetlebum]

nothing my delicious recipe for quiche à la arsénique can't solve! PM me for details!

 

[thør]

And don't forget the one last hate-fuck...

 

[parodyluvr75]

nothing my delicious recipe for quiche à la arsénique can't solve! PM me for details!

I use mushrooms in mine.

 

[beetlebum]

I use mushrooms in mine.

that's a tasty variant, as well!

 

[MNGuy]

And don't forget the one last hate-fuck...

Make her do things she never did before, and end with a Dirty Sanchez.

 

[run_silent]

You need to decide if you can be happy with the current relationship. If you can be happy with an open relationship fine. If you can't then get the hell out.

She is testing you.

 

[SeaDaddy1]

You're going to need a few things; a putty knife, a roll of 36 exposure TriX, and a clutch-head screwdriver.

Silly rabbit. Trix are for kids.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I don't do 2nd chances for anything if deceit plays a part in the problem.

I've been involved with prostitutes, married women, and all kinds, but I knew what the score was upfront.

 

[parodyluvr75]

that's a tasty variant, as well!

Yes it is, but which ones you use dictate whether you get a second helping or not.

 

[maverick51]

It is apparent that she has lost respect for you ;lying and cheating, and she has also is not trustworthy. Unless you are so madly in love with this woman and forgive and forget and she makes a commitment to be faithful to you dump her now. Quit torturing yourself.

Good luck. remember, there are "other fish in the sea"

 

[SkAoUt]

Hate fucks are pretty damn hot.

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

lol...

 

[pete]

skip the hate fuck, and just cut it off completely, cold turkey.

there's only a few million other women out there with 100% less drama than this chick. go find one.

 

[lookingforadvic]

Thanks for all the replies guys, they are all valuable in their own way.

Yes, even the grow some balls comments

 

[thør]

skip the hate fuck, and just cut it off completely, cold turkey.

there's only a few million other women out there with 100% less drama than this chick. go find one.

I know of one guy who ended his relationship by opening the shower curtain while the SO was in the shower and pissing on her. Then, he zipped up his pants, picked up his bag, and walked out.

 

[pink]

I know of one guy who ended his relationship by opening the shower curtain while the SO was in the shower and pissing on her. Then, he zipped up his pants, picked up his bag, and walked out.

That's full of awesome.