Widower finding purpose in loss

[Houstonguy30]

I'm pacing back and forth, again practicing my pitch. I hear a small knock at the door. It's you.

You walk up to me and say, "Lindsay is napping." You lean in and kiss me with deep tongue - almost down my throat. I immediately taste it. Lindsay.

FUCK.

 

[Becaa57]

I leave Lindsay on the daybed. Going to your office, knocking surprising you because I'm still nude, but also with the passionate kiss.

"I've been wanting to do that since yesterday!!!!!"

Kissing you again

"I know you have to work, just had a chance"
"We have to tell Lindsay about us, maybe tomorrow after your finish what you're working on."

"I love you so much!!!"

Then before you can grab me, I smile and head back down to Lindsay, slipping into the bed as she wakes up"

"Just had to use the bathroom, "
"I think we should get dressed before your dad comes down"

 

[Houstonguy30]

The kiss lingers. The taste lingers. You giggle and say, "I've been wanting to do that since yesterday!!!!!"

Another kiss and a quick grope.

"We have to tell Lindsay about us, maybe tomorrow after your finish what you're working on."

"I know. We do. Um... I watched..."

You slip out of my hands and giggle and run downstairs naked.

I shake my head. This is all too much.

One more pass through my prepared talk and then I'm heading to bed. I have to be fresh for tomorrow. 6am rise and the meeting starts at 9am over at the local Hilton.

 

[Becaa57]

I'm all the way downstairs, when what you just said clicked in
He watched??? OMG

Lindsay is waking up when I sit back down.

I suggest to her that we get dressed.

All the time thinking, he watched??? What did he see, dumb question we were both nude.
How will Lindsay handle it/??

All the more reason we have to talk.

I know from past discussions with Lindsay that nothing sexual has ever happened between you two

I also know how open minded she is

Putting that on the back shelf for now

 

[Houstonguy30]

I finish my last practice session, down the rest of my glass of wine, and head to bed. I sleep a deep sleep. I'm exhausted after all the effort I put into the presentation for tomorrow.

I'm frankly too tired to consider where Rachel is spending the night. After the tryst I witnessed out on the play bed, I'm assuming she's in the guest bed with Lindsay.

My girlfriend with my daughter. Lovers for well over 10 years, probably more like 13 or 15.

Can it get any weirder?

Beeping wakes me. It's 6am. I get up and take a shower. I shave and put on my best suit. At 6:45 I walk into the kitchen and there is Rachel. Lindsay isn't anywhere to be seen.

"Hey. WOW..."


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GjOb8ohXUAArn9_?format=jpg&name=small

 

[Becaa57]

"Hi!!"

I go over and give you a hug and kiss.

"Lindsay is still in bed, are you hungry? I've got coffee made"

I've decided not to mention Lindsay and I having fun on the day bed yesterday, I know you've got to focus on work today.

"She and I talked it over last night after you went to bed. We're going to spend the day at my place, probably do more shopping, but not nearly as expensive, more things we need, that you don't have here, girl stuff"

"I don't want to talk about us, meaning you and I, and Lindsay and I until tonight ok????"

 

[Houstonguy30]

You come and hug me. Fuck you look good. And SMELL good. A little musky, a little sweet. Wow. It makes me wonder what you’ve been doing. Workout? Or other stuff…

“I’ll definitely take coffee - to go. I’m far too nervous to eat. I’d probably puke.”

"She and I talked it over last night after you went to bed. We're going to spend the day at my place, probably do more shopping, but not nearly as expensive, more things we need, that you don't have here, girl stuff"

“Feel free to go shopping, but no need to spend the day at your place. I won’t be here until 6pm at the earliest. This whole Board Meeting takes place over at the Hilton. That’s where the Board of Directors like to meet.”

I eye you. You look DELICIOUS. I want to kiss you and keep kissing you and get completely lost in you for the rest of the day. Arrgh - the way those leggings make me want to just dive between your legs.

"I don't want to talk about us, meaning you and I, and Lindsay and I until tonight ok????"

Did you just define a new “US”? So “US” is no longer you and me? It’s you and me and Lindsay? Or two separate “US”s? Um….. Or am I misunderstanding it and you mean you want to wait until tonight to talk to Rachel about “US” - You and me. I’m so confused and I just don’t have the mental energy for it today. I’ll figure it out tonight. So I let it go.

“I’m going to head up to my office for about 30 minutes. Have to pull everything together. Then I need to head out.” I lean over and kiss you. This one is different. It’s an “I love you” kiss. Soft, slow, tender. Just a swipe of tongue. I haven’t given you THIS kiss yet.

 

[Becaa57]

Pouring you a cup of coffee, handing it to you

“Feel free to go shopping, but no need to spend the day at your place. I won’t be here until 6pm at the earliest. This whole Board Meeting takes place over at the Hilton. That’s where the Board of Directors like to meet.”

"Ok, I'll talk to her when she gets up.

“I’m going to head up to my office for about 30 minutes. Have to pull everything together. Then I need to head out.”

I love this kiss, soft tender but the tongue means more to come. Returning it, as you walk away giving you a big hug

"I know you'll do this honey!!! I'ts what you do"

"If Lindsay isn't up, when you leave, stick your head in, she'll be upset she didn't get to say goodbye, But she is exhausted from everything going on"

"Don't worry, she was decent, mostly when I left her"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"If Lindsay isn't up, when you leave, stick your head in, she'll be upset she didn't get to say goodbye, But she is exhausted from everything going on". "Don't worry, she was decent, mostly when I left her"

Mostly decent when you left her. Taunting me like that? I’m not sure I’m ever going to get used to this weird web we’ve weaved.

I head up to the office and pull together my notes, talking points, and other items. I put them into my briefcase along with my laptop, a USB drive, and other backups so I don’t lose the presentation in some technology mistake.

I come down the stairs and neither you nor Lindsay are in the kitchen. I head to the guest room and stick my head in to say goodbye to Lindsay. She’s still in bed wearing a red thong and nothing else. I try not to notice. Luckily the sheet is pulled over her top half. I speak softly from the doorway, “Hey Linds. I’m out of here. Wanted to say good morning and I’ll see you this evening….”

 

[Becaa57]

I hear dad call my name from the doorway, turning I can see him standing in the doorway.
Sitting up, I feel the sheet dropping. Grabbing it almost in time, pulling it back up to my neck
"Daddy?? What time is it? You're going to you meeting?"

Getting up, keeping the sheet wrapped as I go to the door, giving you a one armed hug.

"Good luck today!!!! I think Rachel is in the kitchen, did you talk her?"

"I love you daddy!!!! I trust you"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I see Lindsay get up and I panic. Shit! She’s topless but she keeps the sheet held to her. It’s the kind of scene from a sexy move. Dammit.

She gives me a hug and I hug back.

"Good luck today!!!! I think Rachel is in the kitchen, did you talk her?"
“Yeah, I saw her. She got me a cup of coffee. I need it.”

"I love you daddy!!!! I trust you"
“Thanks honey. It’s all going to work out.”

I leave the guest room and wander the house a bit looking for you. I find you in the exercise room on an elliptical machine, going a million miles an hour. Sweaty. Fuck. SEXY.

“Hey honey. I’m out. I’ll be back sometime after 6pm”

 

[Becaa57]

“Hey honey. I’m out. I’ll be back sometime after 6pm”

I hit stop on the elliptical.
"Ok, honey stay in touch. I won't text or call you. did you see Lindsay?"
"I'd kiss you but way too sweaty!!!"
softer
"I love you"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Ok, honey stay in touch. I won't text or call you. did you see Lindsay?"
“I did.” Almost all of her, I think to myself. And a LOT closer than when I was watching through the window last night.

"I'd kiss you but way too sweaty!!!"
“In the future, when I’m not wearing my best suit, sweaty is NOT an excuse for no kiss. It’s a REASON for kisses everywhere. I do love my lovers sweaty…”

"I love you"
“I’m in the same place, Rachel…”

Shit. I still can’t say it. Not until… Helen…

I head over to the Hilton and focus. Heading into the conference room, I have steel nerves. I’m ready to do this.

2 hours later, I’ve been beaten down, almost to a pulp. The two Board Members that never agree with me are on a mission to make me quit. I know I have a path to win this discussion, I just don’t know how….

During a break, I text Rachel. “This is harder than I thought. Hoping your day is wonderful.”

 

[Becaa57]

Lindsay and I are having a nice day actually. Even though you told us we can go back to the house, it feels easier to go my place, less guilt when we make love, which we've done more then once

Cuddling with her in the bed, I get your text

“This is harder than I thought. Hoping your day is wonderful.”

I think for a minute then answer

"You can do it!!! You two women here who love you and believe in you!!!"
"All the work you've put into this company, the work you and Helen did, from very first"
'Don't come home without you winning this battle!!!!!"
" No pressure right?"

Hope that wasn't too much pressure

 

[Houstonguy30]

“Your two women here who love you and believe in you!!!"
My two women? Shit. I DO need to do this for them.

She texts about Helen and her role in the company and then pushes me saying I’m not coming home until I win. Just what I needed. Dammit I’m fucking in love with this girl.

I double down when the meeting restarts. I go right at my two hardest Board Members and use a bunch of tactics from some negotiation books I recently used. I corner one of them into agreeing that yes, this was a “black swan” event and the company had been doing spectacularly well before this. She finally relents. The other board member follows suit. I swear, he just follows whatever she says.

Success. And we’re done early. They’ve agreed to an influx of cash, as a loan that has to be paid back in 18 months. Easy. My favorite board member even throws in a nice little prize - He gives me 500 hours of use of his new AI program in order to optimize operations.

It’s 4pm. I’m done earlier than I expected. I decide to visit the cemetery. Helen needs to be the first to know. And I need to tell her I’m in love with our daughter’s bff and lover.

 

[Becaa57]

Lindsay and I go to a movie, spending a normal day, or rather trying to spend a normal day. Both of worried about you, I can't say much to her, yet so harder on me.
But we keep reassuring each other you will get this. both of us checking our phones for a text from you. Neither one of us able to eat anything or even pay attention to the movie.

Sitting alone in the back row, holding hands

 

[Houstonguy30]

I haven’t visited Helen’s grave since I re-met Rachel. I spill it all. Talking to nobody, yet not really. Helen is there. If she isn’t then this is just for me, to rebalance my heart and soul.

I tell her about the damn CFO and how he almost cost me OUR company. Helen told me not to hire him about 3 years ago. Right yet again.

I swear I hear the words from her telling me to just live the rest of my life and try to fill my heart full. Not to worry about it. Life is too short and if I’m miserable and lonely the rest of my life it’s a waste. Fulfilled and full of love is the way to live.

On the walk back to the car, as I wipe a tear from my face, I text Lindsay first. I don’t want to cause a problem between the two until she knows. “Success. They’ve commissioned an 18 month loan to float the company until we can either repair or get the money back from that SOB.”

I immediately text Rachel. “Just sent word to Lindsay. Hopefully she’s telling you the good news now. 18 month loan to float the company.”

One more. “Also, I just stopped by the grave. I know you wanted to join, but I had to see her now. I love you.”

I text Lindsay, “I should be home in 30. Need a BIG glass of wine. Or maybe bourbon.”

 

[Becaa57]

On the walk back to the car, as I wipe a tear from my face, I text Lindsay first. I don’t want to cause a problem between the two until she knows. “Success. They’ve commissioned an 18 month loan to float the company until we can either repair or get the money back from that SOB.”
“I should be home in 30. Need a BIG glass of wine. Or maybe bourbon.”
"That's fantastic Dad, I knew you'd figure this out!!!! Tonight is a celebration!!!"
"I think we all need some bourbon!!!!!, have had a lazy day with Rachel"
Just sent word to Lindsay. Hopefully she’s telling you the good news now. 18 month loan to float the company.”

"She just told me!!!! a bourbon night too?"

One more. “Also, I just stopped by the grave. I know you wanted to join, but I had to see her now. I love you.”

"Ok, I understand are you feeling better about us now?"
"I do want you to take me, she was a mother to me"
" I LOVE YOU"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"That's fantastic Dad, I knew you'd figure this out!!!! Tonight is a celebration!!!"
"I think we all need some bourbon!!!!!, have had a lazy day with Rachel"
Ugh. I think I know what "lazy day with Rachel" means. I've had a few of those too. That means time with the PERFECT Rachel, naked, orgasms, cuddling, amazing tasting pussy, lips... sweat... and napping...
I didn't need to know that......

"She just told me!!!! a bourbon night too?"
"You have no idea, love. Don't tell L, but it was close. I barely squeezed through. Dana, the hardest of my Board Members, just barely came around. I need to sit with her later this week and see why she was so reluctant. She's brilliant and may be seeing something I'm not."

"Ok, I understand are you feeling better about us now?"
"I do want you to take me, she was a mother to me"
" I LOVE YOU"
"It was never about feeling bad or good or better. It was about getting permission. I know it may not make sense. And yes. Let's go together."
"I can say it now. I love you, babe. Let's crush life... together."

I set the phone down on the passenger side and sit for a few minutes. What a huge change in just a week.

Finally I put the Taycan into drive and head home. I call up the car texting app and text Rachel, "There is a bottle on the upper left side of the shelves in the liquor room. It's a white label with a dude smoking a cigar. Says "Pappy Van Winkles Family Reserve" Also says "23 year". Could you grab it and have it ready? I think it's time to open it up.... It's time we told Lindsay....."

 

[Becaa57]

"It was never about feeling bad or good or better. It was about getting permission. I know it may not make sense. And yes. Let's go together."
"I can say it now. I love you, babe. Let's crush life... together."

I read the text, it shows me what a special man you are. Any other man I know or knew wouldn't want permission from his previous wife who had passed.

Before I can respond, I get another text

"There is a bottle on the upper left side of the shelves in the liquor room. It's a white label with a dude smoking a cigar. Says "Pappy Van Winkles Family Reserve" Also says "23 year".

"Sounds nasty, but I'll dig it up, we drinking straight tonight?"
"I agree we have to tell LIndsay about us, and I guess you about Lindsay and I"
"No more secrets"
"Well maybe except the pool boy!!! "

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Sounds nasty, but I'll dig it up, we drinking straight tonight?"
"I agree we have to tell LIndsay about us, and I guess you about Lindsay and I"
"No more secrets"
"Well maybe except the pool boy!!! "

“You don’t have to drink it. You can stick to wine. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion which I think tonight is going to be!”
“No more secrets. I agree. Pool boy? As long as I get to play with you at the same time or I get to watch….”
Wanting her to know, I’m up for anything she wants. I know it was a joke, but let’s take the opportunity to let her know I’m open to everything. I’m not going to hold back in this relationship.

I’ll be home in 15 minutes.

 

[Becaa57]

“You don’t have to drink it. You can stick to wine. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion which I think tonight is going to be!”

"This is a celebration, and who knows maybe I'll like it. I'll try anything once or twice"


“No more secrets. I agree. Pool boy? As long as I get to play with you at the same time or I get to watch….”

"Watch???? He is kind of shy, but maybe from your office window???"

"Honey, when will you be home?"

"We are going to stop at the butcher shop, pick up some steaks for dinner"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I arrive at home. They haven't arrived yet. I head back to the Master Bedroom, past the Red Door. I change into exercise shorts and a comfortable t-shirt. Anything but that darn suit!

As I walk in to the Kitchen, Lindsay and Rachel arrive. I go over and give each a hug. A "father hug" to Lindsay and a "friendly hug" to Rachel. Reality is I want to pick Rachel up and have her wrap her legs around me and start kissing her.

Hopefully SOON.

"What did you get at the butcher shop?"

 

[Becaa57]

I love the hug, but wanted so much more. But glad to see your face without the stress.

"What did you get at the butcher shop?"

"Boneless skinless chicken breast? How does that sound???"

Trying to keep a straight face, but Lindsay spills the beans

Laughing at the expression on your face
"She's kidding dad. We got Wagyu, ribeye steaks!!!"
"We also got that bottle of bourbon you wanted down"
"Apple Pie for Aunt Polly's bakery for desert"

 

[Houstonguy30]

Oh, the jokesters. I haven’t eaten all day due to the stress. The boneless skinless chicken would taste perfect about now. Oh, and why am I such a dirty old man? All I can think of when I hear ‘pie’ is eating Rachel out. Fuck. Not being able to be with her is killing me.

“Well, then let me heat up the grill! But first, I need a swig of that Pappy!” I grab three glasses and throw a few cubes in them. I measure out two fingers worth for me, two for Lindsay as I know she likes her bourbon, and a taste for Rachel. “In case you don’t like it. This stuff is about 4 grand a bottle, so…”.

We clink glasses. “To less stress and a less stressed Daddy!” I say, trying to convey that I’ve really been holding much more in than I even let on. I take a swig of the heavenly bourbon. Smokey, strong, and exactly what I need. Other than getting Rachel naked and into bed, that is….