Why We Fight

[Samuelx]

I have a question for you guys.


I'm going to lay it all out for you. I'm a 21-year-old Black man in college, somewhere in Massachusetts. I'm taking up Criminal Justice. I'm also bi.
I volunteer to do activism for Men's Rights and other special interest groups such as SAFE ( SAFE helps gay males, lesbians, transgender people and heterosexual men who are victims of domestic abuse). I've been living in America since 1999. I came here when I was 14 years old.
I went through high school here and graduated here. I'm in college here right now. I should have become a U.S. resident years ago, but there were MANY mistakes/complications made by various members of my family.
That's why I don't have a S.S. number yet. We had a lawyer working on the case. It's being appealed. Here's to hoping someday things will get better. I'm brilliant, you know. A high IQ.

I'm the author of two books. The first is a 400-page collection of bi-themed erotic short stories entitled The Bisexual Chronicles. The second is a 200-page collection of erotic supernatural and science fiction stories called Tales of Infinity. I am still looking for a publisher for them. An editor would be nice, too.


In this life, no matter what I do, things seem to get in my way. The most ferocious enemies I've had have been members of my own family. Women and sometimes men who hate me and want to see me go down because they hate my father so much. There's so much hate in my family. There are days when I wished I had never come to America. Life would have been simpler in my homeland. Also, there are other days when I am paranoid because I'm so used to getting hurt and betrayed.


All I ask is to be given the same chances that every native of America is given. A fair chance at life. Soon I will graduate college with a degree in Criminal Justice. It is my dream to become a police officer someday. Yet there are so many obstacles in my way. There are so many things I want to do. So many causes worth fighting for. I want to help everyday Americans realize the danger they face everyday without knowing it : the sociopaths among them. A sociopath is a woman or a man who has no conscience. They lie, cheat, manipulate and sometimes kill without feeling remorse. Nothing on earth is more dangerous than they are. I also want to help promote men's rights. Oh, I respect women and all that they have done but I see many men faced with reverse discrimination. So many companies choose not to hire men because they will look bad if they don't have many women or other minorities. There aren't nearly enough male college students graduating these days. Where are the boys in college ? Why are male valedictorians rare in high school ? Men's educationional needs shouldn't be neglected. Tomorrow's society will reflect today's discrepancies.


I am for men's rights. Everything from men's rights to choose whether or not they want to be circumcisized to men having a voice when it comes to gender issues. I also think sexual harassment policies are biased against men. Domestic violence laws are biased against men as well. Cops always assume that the perpetrator of the crime is male, and the female criminal often gets away or is assumed to be the victim while an innocent man gets locked up.

Yes, there are many battles I want to fight.


I can't fight them with my hands tied behind my back. There's so much I can do.

A year ago, I made many flyers with information aimed at helping male victims of domestic violence. I handed thousands of them out. The response from both men and women was amazing. Yes, people know that females sometimes abuse their male partners. people also know that the cops are wrong in assuming that males are always at fault in domestic disputes with women. Yet no one does anything about it. I thought that by promoting awareness, I could bring change. I hope I did some good.
If I helped even one person, it would have been all worth it.


Justice is something I am passionate about, I guess. That's why I fight on, every day.

Why do YOU fight for ?

 

[Wolfman1982]

Hmmm why do I fight ?

Well, I think I found I was bi, by a coincident (sp?), because some body asked me, if I was bi who would I sleep with from my past, and I answered, but at the same time my buddy knew that I was watching TS porn, and I didn't exactly know if I was bi or not, well I think I denied it, since I came out the first time as 18 to my mother, but she just turned her eyes around and other stuff. And well the situation wasn't that cool. But enough of all that past.

But it became clear to me, before I knew I was bi, that I felt that fighting for people (gays lesbians transsexuals etc.). Were people like any other, and I felt fighting for another human being regardless of sexual orientation was something I would do, since to me I would even save Saddam that swine Hussein from drowning, and the only reason would be he was a human in DNA, but I wouldn't support him in anyway at all !

So back to the simple thing, I fight for equal rights for women, and men, and I don´t care about their sexuality, since to me that isn't important. To me the inner is what I care about, not about their gender or sexuality.

So basically, I am a humanist, who believes in God, but I am not a Christian at all. And I believe in Karma, and it isn't faith version of karma that is spelled Kamma. It is the other version of that thing, and the most simple thing is in karma (to me anyway), is that I try to behave properly in every way possible, and be a god human being.

Yes I do say the Our father Prayer every now and then, but that is because. I feel sometimes a prayer is there , and it is good, when you need it.

Samuel I didn't know you really were Samuel X, I only just thought you were using it as a pseudonym, but now I know better, but I am still afraid of coming out of the closet.

Because of the city I am living in , and the fear of being a victim of homophobia in the worst way possible. Because of the city I am living in.

 

[Samuelx]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Wolfman. If I do say so, we have quite a few things in common. Sorry to hear your town is "opposed to our kind". Boston is becoming gayer than San Francisco. Guys walk around holding hands with other guys. Girls openly kiss girls. Isn't this great ? I hope someday things get better for glbt people worldwide. Until then, let's keep hope alive.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Please, Samuel, seek some professional help NOW.

I have read quite a few of your recent posts and danger signals leap out of all of them. Without some sort of intervention I feel you are in serious danger of becoming a severely depressed, frustrated person with potentially explosive consequences.

You are very young, much too young to be carrying around that boulder on your shoulder. Combining this with your sense of extreme intellectual superiority, rigid views & the persecution complex I will say that you have little or no chance of being accepted into any formal law enforcement agency due to the psychological test processes.

You will perceive this "rejection" as you perceive any & all of life's normal setbacks - ie you, specifically, are being persecuted through no fault of your own.

Just as an example, in another post you mentioned that the lack of a certain pencil would have caused your failure in a test - rather than admitting to yourself that your own lack of preparation in bringing a pencil to the test would have been the true cause of your failure. It's all about how you see everything little thing in relation to yourself & your problems.

Yet another post highlighted how you perceived a quick, offhand (& common) joke as a personal slight requiring action.

IQ really means little if not combined with a healthy, balanced mind. History & prisons are full of brilliant yet somehow flawed individuals who felt compelled to inflict their narrow views on others & unfortunately found the means to do so.

Please, please, seek help whilst you are still young enough for it to make a difference to your life & please, for all our sakes, don't get a job in the US Post Office.

 

[Wolfman1982]

Samuel: listen to incubus, since I think she has a point, since I have seen the signals too, through your writings, and you need to get some help, before it gets serious , don´t get angry because I say it, but remember it is better to talk with some one who can help, instead of you getting psychological hospitalised.

I can only say, that psychiatric system is a very fucked up system.
So seek some normal help before it gets too serious.

And if you feel that the head fucker isn't listening to you and helping you, then change to another one. Since there are other ways than medical help, when it comes psychological help.

But the important thing, is also to fight for something, so if we forget the seriousness, incubus´s reply, then I think we should respond to this thread, in a normal way. And not just take our matters into our own hands.

Since Samuel X does have a point in some of his forum threads, and in his replies, so let us do something good, since, I am also sometimes going from a high, to a low. But let others too tell, what they fight for. And why they fight. And incubus, Edit, I didn´t know why you wrote post office, sorry.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Wolfman, I'm glad I'm not the only one sensing serious problems for Samuel. I'm a she, by the way. The reference had nothing to do with punctuation or spelling but rather the often noticed tendency of the US Post Office to employ seriously emotionally disturbed individuals who, when triggered by some delusional offence, have a habit of "going postal" & shooting everyone around them.

Apon investigation of these people it has been found that their mental disturbances have usually been quite obvious to others for quite some time, yet these others ignored the signs rather than suggesting help, which I am trying to do.

I don't believe that Samuel really wants to hear about the beliefs & opinions of others. I think he is attempting to gain approval & agreement from others about his own particular views & in particular, applause for having taken on the fight. He is yet to realise that badness & evil cannot be defined by male, female or sexual orientation.

 

[wild175133]

your young

Now for some advice you can really use? Make the best of a bad situations son. So you got screwed over by your own family, guess what your not the only one in that situation and you won't be the last, learn form it and move on.

while it is good your comfortable with what and who you are keep in mind there are alot of people out there who are not. Aslo keep in mind these kind of people are in the majority and as a group they can make your life a liviing hell.

If your in college take some entry level psyce and soc. courses the kowelege you get in these course will help you through out your adult life.

last but not least those evaluation test the others told you about. beware, even though when you take them you are told there are no right and wrong answers on those test, they are lying to you. there is a right way and a wrong way to take them. figure them out asap and you will be able to get the carrer you want.

As for the complex's they have told you about just learn how to deal with others in a fair and honest way and you will get along,

 

[Samuelx]

well, I certainly didn't expect this. You guys think I am a ticking time bomb. Well, everyone gets angry/frustrated/sad sometimes and all of us have a burden to carry. Mine is simply a bit different and heavier ( to me) than most. Of course, I haven't walked a mile in anyone's shoes, so I wouldn't know. All I wanted to know was what drives you. That's all. I've asked
teachers and cops and activists why they wake up in the morning and have gotten various answers. Many men and women think they make a difference. I find that admirable and aspire to it. I'm not a nutjob.

 

[Samuelx]

Please, Samuel, seek some professional help NOW.

I have read quite a few of your recent posts and danger signals leap out of all of them. Without some sort of intervention I feel you are in serious danger of becoming a severely depressed, frustrated person with potentially explosive consequences.

You are very young, much too young to be carrying around that boulder on your shoulder. Combining this with your sense of extreme intellectual superiority, rigid views & the persecution complex I will say that you have little or no chance of being accepted into any formal law enforcement agency due to the psychological test processes.

You will perceive this "rejection" as you perceive any & all of life's normal setbacks - ie you, specifically, are being persecuted through no fault of your own.

Just as an example, in another post you mentioned that the lack of a certain pencil would have caused your failure in a test - rather than admitting to yourself that your own lack of preparation in bringing a pencil to the test would have been the true cause of your failure. It's all about how you see everything little thing in relation to yourself & your problems.

Yet another post highlighted how you perceived a quick, offhand (& common) joke as a personal slight requiring action.

IQ really means little if not combined with a healthy, balanced mind. History & prisons are full of brilliant yet somehow flawed individuals who felt compelled to inflict their narrow views on others & unfortunately found the means to do so.

Please, please, seek help whilst you are still young enough for it to make a difference to your life & please, for all our sakes, don't get a job in the US Post Office.

Incubus, I think you might be onto something. I just went to my first class and some guy in class was looking at me funny, asking me questions ( offhand, seems harmless, yet I didn't like it) and joking with his buddy. He asked me why I flexed my fingers, if I had ever been in a fight or whatever. I recall thinking about people who teased me in the past, especially cocky guys like him. Heck, I remember wishing he'd hit me so I could mess him up. I never hit anyone first. He or she has to strike first, then it's on. Even as a wrestler, I was always defensive, never offensive. They come at me, then they go down. I feel really antagonistic these days and on the verge of frenzy. My mother arrived last night and I feel that we may receive bad news about my pending immigration case and it's making me really stressed. Also, my significant other is real busy with athletics all the damn time so I'm not getting any
warmth/love/play. He enjoys popularity, while I am in the dark. Another publisher has rejected my book, saying it needs more editing. That hurt me. Still, I stifled my feelings and moved on. I don't know why this is happening to me. Someone once recommended that I talk to a school counselor. I'm gonna inquire about that. My head hurts when I feel angry or on edge. I don't know why. I can't exactly confide in any friends of mine. A number of my friends think of me as smart and cool and I like it when they think of me that way. Image matters to me, I guess. I think you may be right. I might need some help. Unfortunately, resources are limited and I am not sure who to talk to. I don't want to "blow" my temper and hurt somebody. Getting a criminal record wouldn't help my immigration case or my future career in law enforcement. I want to get past these issues and lead a better life.


What should I do ?

 

[Wolfman1982]

Samuel: what about hitting a boxing thing, so you get some steam off, since that wouldn't be so bad, and you could just tell the guys, who just answer those normal questions, and just tell them. That you were thinking of your past. And don´t be alarmed by that, since well it is just a question, and heck you could answer, that you just had a bad flashback.

Hmmm I don´t know, but you should let some of your steam off, like jogging or something like that. Heck I trained martial arts a few years back, and after every training session, I felt I could take on the world, because I was so relaxed, and could I recommend you an art ? then it should be a JKD club , maybe PFS JKD ? or some other ? or maybe just Brazilian jujutsu ?

But stay away from SBG/Straight Blast Gym.

Samuel, you don´t have be so on your guard all the time, but Samuel, I think your forum threads are good

So keep up the good work, and by the way, you aren't the only who has his book turned down, I know a Mexican writer who was lucky some days ago winning a competition.

His name is Hector Ortiz, and he is one of my friends

Samuel: don´t give up so easily.

 

[Samuelx]

You are right in saying that I need to relax. I just cashed in $ 240 and all next week, I'm on Spring Break vacation !!!! I'm going to chill, man. I deserve it. I'm gonna watch movies, eat at nice restaurants, go walking in the city and maybe see an old friend or two. I need to RELAX.
Man wasn't designed for this stressful existence, in the final analysis. Naturally, I'll chronicle these (hopefully) joyous and relaxing adventures.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Samuel, I'm glad you seem to have taken my comments in the spirit with which they were written. Recognising a possible problem is the first step in solving it.

Yes, you do need to relax, but the break won't help if you're concentrating more on how you're going to write about it rather than enjoying it at the time. It would be better to use this as an opportunity to break the pattern of self absorbtion if you can.

I would suggest seeking advice from someone who knows you like one of your teachers. Choose someone you respect and just ask for help. I'm guessing that the personality traits which show themselves in your posts here have also been evident in your course essays & tests. This prior knowledge would be helpful for someone to point you in the right direction for the help that you need.

 

[Shankara20]

A year ago, I made many flyers with information aimed at helping male victims of domestic violence.

I have just started a program in my very consertive town working to get men involved in addressing the issue of domestic violence here. I am working with the local group of service providers to victims - female victims. They want to expand their understanding of the impact of DV (domestic violence) on men and in same-sex couples. It is hard work for them because they carry around a long history of one side of the story, but they are trying. If you would like to discuss this more I would welcome the oppertunity.

I am male, I am bi, I am white, I am 58

 

[Samuelx]

Well, Shank. In an ideal world, support would be provided to victims of both sexes. Male victims of domestic violence wouldn't get ignored by the system. If the people you work for want to provide help for members of both sexes, I applaud you and would gladly tell others about it. I've had it up to her with gender-biased DV advocates. Their bias against men is sickening. We're human too, damn it ! However, their misandrist superiors
won't let them see that. I feel empathy for anyone in pain, regardless of their gender. Unfortunately, most people don't feel the way I do.

 

[Shankara20]

Well, Shank. In an ideal world, support would be provided to victims of both sexes. Male victims of domestic violence wouldn't get ignored by the system. If the people you work for want to provide help for members of both sexes, I applaud you and would gladly tell others about it. I've had it up to her with gender-biased DV advocates. Their bias against men is sickening. We're human too, damn it ! However, their misandrist superiors
won't let them see that. I feel empathy for anyone in pain, regardless of their gender. Unfortunately, most people don't feel the way I do.

I agree - most of the DV material is very men-negative. At the first meeting there was quiet in the room when I asked which shelter a DV victim would go to if it was a male-male couple. God onle knows where a Trans would go. It will be a long haul here, but we are making progress. I do not want the men working to solve this to come out swinging to defend "men" and piss off the power holders here. I make my living organizing people to "piss off power holders", but with this issue in this small town we have to sneek up on them.

We talk about: Helping Those Who Are Hurt - Assisting Those Trying Not To Hurt Others - Holding Accountable Those Who Hurt Others - Supporting All Who Seek Help. Note there is nothing about gender or sexual identity.

 

[Samuelx]

Not offending the power holders ? See how bad things have gotten ? Such Misandry, everywhere I look !!!

 

[Shankara20]

Not offending the power holders ? See how bad things have gotten ? Such Misandry, everywhere I look !!!

you are the only other person I know that knows what misandry is. The spell checker on this computer has misogyny, but not misandry.

so much to do - so much to do.

 

[Samuelx]

you are the only other person I know that knows what misandry is. The spell checker on this computer has misogyny, but not misandry.

so much to do - so much to do.

Well, dude. I know PLACES where many MEN know what Misandry is. If you want, I can point you where you will find other guys who feel the way I do about the way things are.


www.standyourground.com
www.mensactivism.org
www.ncfm.org
www.batteredmenshelpline.org
www.abusedmen.com
www.safe4all.org
www.gmdvp.org

 

[Shankara20]

Well, dude. I know PLACES where many MEN know what Misandry is. If you want, I can point you where you will find other guys who feel the way I do about the way things are.


www.standyourground.com
www.mensactivism.org
www.ncfm.org
www.batteredmenshelpline.org
www.abusedmen.com
www.safe4all.org
www.gmdvp.org

I know about several of these plus a few more. It was just great to see the word used by someone in conversation.

Thanks

 

[Samuelx]

You're welcome.