Why Post Pics? A Reality Check

[monique1971]

I closed my thread a few days ago. A few people asked me why. The reasons don't really matter. They mostly have to do with feeling that the thread was dying a slow death anyway and a preference for clean snappy endings; additionally, I had started to feel that I was repeating myself by posting the same kinds of pictures over and over again, and this bored me.

The experience of having a thread made me think, and closing the thread made me think again. And then there were the recent, and predictable debates about "hottest girl on Lit" etc. -- these also made me think.

I'll admit it, although it doesn't made me look good: I began posting pics because I was looking for validation. I got it, to be sure. Then I began thinking, "Ooooh, I must be so hot! Look at all these posts and comments." (This is the part where reality and I began to part ways.) I started thinking, "We're all hot! Even me!" Plus, of course, there was the sexual buzz one gets out of the whole exhibitionist thing. But let's not get into that.

But then I started wondering, isn't there something a little unhealthy about posting pictures in order to be validated in this way? Sure, it's fun, and harmless, but what am I really looking for here, and why? The truth is, there are and were "hotter" girls than I on this site. There always will be. That's reality. So I wondered, and thought, and posted pictures, and wondered some more. In the meantime I learned that I enjoyed taking pictures. I liked having an image in my mind and trying to make that image a reality. I enjoyed seeing myself in this new way. Sometimes what I saw looked great -- sometimes it didn't.

I'll probably do another thread sometime if it amuses me. I enjoyed meeting people via my thread. I'll certainly keep taking pictures, of myself and other subjects. But I'd caution anyone who posts looking for the ego boost -- I've found that this is a dead-end street despite people's genuine kindness here. The day would have come when I posted something to no views and no comments -- and what would I have made of that? I say: Post your pics here only if you really are prepared not to care what other people think.

To make this into a thread for discussion rather than -- how do you separate the quality of the photography from the subject? Do you even bother to try? Do you post nice things to people's threads, just to be encouraging, even if you think their pictures actually don't look that good? Or do you lock onto the threads of the people you KNOW are guaranteed to get you going, and give the rest a pass?

I find I'm curious about how people --those who post, and those who view, and those of us who do both -- use this site.

 

[ben25]

i use it to do what i like, at first i did it to validate myself but then i realized im happy with myself and thats all that really matters

 

[C.S.]

I once posted some pictures in the hope of feeling validated, getting compliments, etc. I almost immediately gave up on that, but some months later when I was feeling better about myself I tried posting some more pictures, and felt much happier about it. I have a bit of an exhibitionist side, and I do, erm, get a kick out of showing myself off.
I wouldn't post pictures if I never got any positive replies, but I like to think that's because I feel uneasy getting naked in front of people with no evidence of them wanting to, rather than my need for appraisal. Though getting the compliments is cool, and I enjoy it.


As for looking, both quality of the photos and attractiveness of the people in them matter. Bad pictures of sexy people are no fun.

I browse more threads than I post in. I generally won't jump in to other people's conversations, and I feel useless just posting "wow you're cute", unless someone really is very cute. I'm more likely to post in people's threads who have posted in mine, this is possibly down to being self-centred.

I'll drift away from regularly looking at threads if the conversation isn't that exciting, which is odd, you'd think I'd be there for the pictures, but seemingly not.

 

[Lorali82]

I admittedly do it for the validation. I know it's probably unhealthy to get validation from anonymous strangers on a website, but I've actually found that I have more confidence in real life due to the feedback I've received on Lit.

I think it is a bit dangerous though to start taking it all too seriously (becoming addicted to the comments and then comparing yourself to others and whatnot). Then your whole motivation for posting in the first place becomes tainted and it just isn't fun anymore. The bottom line is that you should post what you feel best represents you and don't try to please the masses because no matter who you are, what you look like, or what you do someone isn't going to like it.

I hope you do start posting again, monique, when you feel comfortable and find yourself in a place where you can do it solely for your own amusement, because I think there is a lot of good to be had from having a pic thread. (Also, I liked your photos but that's just selfish of me, now isn't it? )

 

[monique1971]

I browse more threads than I post in. I generally won't jump in to other people's conversations, and I feel useless just posting "wow you're cute", unless someone really is very cute. I'm more likely to post in people's threads who have posted in mine, this is possibly down to being self-centred.

It's not useless, though. If everyone felt that way, no one would ever post anything at all after the first poster said, "Wow, you're cute" and then the thread would die and the original poster might feel a bit discouraged.

But maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. Do I read you right as implying that only the very cute ought to be posting?

 

[monique1971]

I hope you do start posting again, monique, when you feel comfortable and find yourself in a place where you can do it solely for your own amusement, because I think there is a lot of good to be had from having a pic thread. (Also, I liked your photos but that's just selfish of me, now isn't it? )

Heh. Thanks. I agree there's good that can come of it. It's enjoyable to strike up new friendships on the basis of a thread, and it's a fun way of experimenting with what, for what of a better word, I might call different personae.

 

[C.S.]

It's not useless, though. If everyone felt that way, no one would ever post anything at all after the first poster said, "Wow, you're cute" and then the thread would die and the original poster might feel a bit discouraged.

You do have a point. But different people find different things attractive, and there will always be people more talkative than me.

But maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. Do I read you right as implying that only the very cute ought to be posting?

I have no problem with people I don't find attractive posting pictures, and I'll post in a person's thread if I have something to say. It's just content-free things like "you're cute" that have been said many times before that I'll tend to avoid posting, unless I really feel compelled to.

anyway, I'm tired, and I'm sure I'm just digging a hole and making myself look an ass, so I'll stop now.

 

[monique1971]

I have no problem with people I don't find attractive posting pictures, and I'll post in a person's thread if I have something to say. It's just content-free things like "you're cute" that have been said many times before that I'll tend to avoid posting, unless I really feel compelled to.

I see what you mean. But "content" in a thread posting is a bit hard to judge anyway, no? "You're cute" might mean alot to the person posting the pics, even if it seems a bit insubstantial.

 

[bluebell]

Not sure if this makes sense

I find I'm curious about how people --those who post, and those who view, and those of us who do both -- use this site.

I find myself more interested in actually reading what people are posting on any given thread (not so much the picture responses). I don't know why, maybe because I'm incredibly curious to find out more about people and who they are.

I usually scan threads, try to get a read on people and if I find that I really enjoy what they have to say, then if they have a picture thread, I'll go visit it.

I have to admit I do still have a little bit of a hard time reconciling personalities with photos; not that they are disparate, just that it's sort of strange to try to fuse the two in my mind. And yet, when I think of, for example, you- Monique, I think of your avatar, or of some of the creative pictures I remember seeing in your thread.

I think an important thing to remember is that there are some good things about there being so many people in the world: there's a lot of different tastes out there, and everyone wants to be able to relate to someone else.

So even if the purpose of looking at someone's pictures is not to, um, get off, it might just be a nice way to look and say "oh, there's someone else like me out there. Well done you for being so courageous." Because no matter how much of an exhibitionist you are, it still takes a degree of bravery. It's also a way for people to get to know you, see who you are by the way you take pictures, if that sounds right...

 

[Daizie]

Monique, I am sorry you decided to close your thread. But your reasons are your own and valid as well. I, too, enjoy viewing other ppl's threads, not just for their pics or to get pic posting ideas but to see what they say and their replies. It gives you a little insight into the kind of person they are. I liked your thread and I like looking thru otherppl's like Lorali's thread. You both seem nice and fun.

If you have ever read thru my thread you know that I too posted for validation. When I was younger a guy I had started dating told me that my breasts were not big enough for his taste and this truly gave me a huge complex that I still have to this day. It took me a lot of thinking to get the nerve to actually post here.

I have found that people here are nice. Although some are just looking for one thing...a quick hook up. I like meeting new people and chatting with them. I try to reply to each and every person who posts on my thread...and I feel like a shit when I can't. I have made some new friends from Lit and for that I am grateful and yes, this thread has done wonders for my self esteem but I do not believe all the hype. I still feel insecure about myself and my body and I still can't believe when guys compliment me and my pics. I try to keep it real and just take it for what it is.

Hope you continue to stay on the site hon. You are a beautiful person.

 

[monique1971]

Thanks. I definitely will stay on the site--never had any intention of leaving! I enjoy hanging out here.

I wonder if it would be as fun to post pics if there were no comment feature? If all one could do was post the picture? It seems as if we're saying that it wouldn't be much fun. Yet the feeling one gets when one poses and the picture gets taken -- that moment is the same, regardless.

Don't mind me, I just like to think out loud about this stuff.

 

[College_geek]

There does come a day when you realize that despite a high post count, you only have 5-10 really good strong fans who post because they like you as well as the way you look. There are times when I start to get all down on myself for not having as many posts as some thinner woman or for not having as many views on my pics. In the end though, I'd rather have the small group of people who will actually talk to me on my thread and view the pics as a bonus more than hundreds of people who post once saying "hawt titz".

 

[sparc101]

Posting a picture of your naked body sure does take some courage. Like other things, once you have "broken the ice", it becomes easier, but the excitement does dwindle a little.

I suppose we who post do it for much the same reason as the person(s) who go to the nudist colony. Now I have never been, but as I have grown older, there is a degree of desire to know what it is like at one of these camps. The feeling here is similar, but perhaps because we can be a bit more annonymous we take more chances... the pics become more erotic.

Anyway, I could go on..
Hey, I must have missed your pic thread... but your small thumbnail print on your name looks GREAT. You bod looks terrific.

See ya
and here is me
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=482308

 

[monique1971]

I found that the excitement of finding that people were not actually revolted by my pictures did dwindle, but the excitement of posing stayed fairly high. I definitely found it an erotic experience.

Thanks for the compliment on the AV.

 

[sparc101]

I can't say I have ever seen any revolting pictures on Lit... On the other hand, I don't view the pictures as a "dog showman" views those show dogs, or a "future farmer" views those cows at the county fair.

Anyway, you seem nice and your one pic that i see in this thread looks GREAT. Very beautiful, very soft looking.

 

[BabyBlue2005]

Hi Monique, I'm sorry to hear that you've closed your thread as I think your pictures were stunning ... but I'm pleased that you'll still be around the site

I too took a break a view months ago, in my case it was because I became unhappy with the pictures that I was loading. I began the thread, for some validation (*grins* everyone likes being told they are pretty and I do not think that is wrong as long as you keep your feet firmly on the ground ) and because I found the whole experience of setting up and taking pics extremely arousing. After 5 or 6 months of doing this I was tired, I'd run out of ideas and didn't like the person I was becoming. I took a month off, recharged my batteries (so to speak) and found that I missed the interaction with other Lit people and I felt a bit lost just wandering the threads so I re-opened my thread.

I'm pleased to say that now I enjoy the compliments without believing I'm anything special but still appreciating the kind people who want to make me feel that way. I'm really enjoying taking the pics again and I get a great deal of satisfaction out of making a few people smile (even if sometimes it's at me rather than with me!).

I hope once you have had a rest you will return to ampics ... have fun during your time out

 

[sparc101]

You have stunning eyes. Every one of your pics draws me right to your eyes.

... and then I look down to your breasts.. I like those too..


me...
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=482308

 

[yogiforlife]

re

I probably started my own thread for similiar reasons, validation and the whole erotic part to doing it. I find it hard to constantly come up with new pics, what I sometimes do now is go through my own photos, pick out the ones I don't like, then try to improve on them, thus getting betting at taking pics.

I do think there are a lot of false comments from people so figuring out which ones are genuine is tough. I'm at a point now where I appreciate the feedback from others, but my goal is to take interesting and or original pics, I've become my worst critic. You could in essence take a bad photo, post it and see who compliments you for it anyways. I've seen some bad pics, terrible lighting and people say "great pics as usual", instead of being honest, but the fear is that they will cease to post, so that is why people lie.

 

[yogiforlife]

re

One other thought I had, with the whole debate about the thread "whos the sexiest poster" I think a more PC question would be a more specific one, like who takes the most artistic pics, or who takes the most erotic pics etc, the best pics I've seen on here have not necessarily been by some of the people that get named the most when those threads do arise. Some people do it by plan, others get lucky and take a nice pic.

 

[monique1971]

One other thought I had, with the whole debate about the thread "whos the sexiest poster" I think a more PC question would be a more specific one, like who takes the most artistic pics, or who takes the most erotic pics etc, the best pics I've seen on here have not necessarily been by some of the people that get named the most when those threads do arise. Some people do it by plan, others get lucky and take a nice pic.

I think most people don't care much about the quality of the photographs if the subject is attractive. And that makes sense -- it's primarily an erotic site, not a photography site. That said, I care about the quality of a pic.

 

[AlteregoID]

I don't think most people care much about the quality of the photographs if the subject is attractive. And that makes sense -- it's primarily an erotic site, not a photography site. That said, I care about the quality of a pic.

As an aspiring photography, I care a great deal about the quality of my pictures, and to a lesser extend the quality of pictures I'm viewing. If I can make out the subject it's fine, but some pictures with excessive grain due to being taken with a low grade webcam (or improper lighting) distract me. I know that's all some people have access to, and I don't stop looking at a persons pictures due to it. Hell, some of them even come out looking quite artsy due to the grain.

Anyways, yes I do care about quality, but moreso of my own photos.

As for the other part of your initial post, I started a thread here because I needed an outlet for my exhibitionist side. I never really did get many people coming in, mostly just friends from chat threads but I really enjoyed doing it. I haven't taken any new pictures in quite some time now, but do intend to post more, just not sure when.

 

[monique1971]

There does come a day when you realize that despite a high post count, you only have 5-10 really good strong fans who post because they like you as well as the way you look. There are times when I start to get all down on myself for not having as many posts as some thinner woman or for not having as many views on my pics. In the end though, I'd rather have the small group of people who will actually talk to me on my thread and view the pics as a bonus more than hundreds of people who post once saying "hawt titz".

That's a really good attitude to have. The truth is that most of us (myself included) will only ever have what one might call "niche" appeal. Very few people, male or female, are conventionally attractive enough to be widely appealing.

Try not to get down on yourself. As you yourself say, the people who do visit your thread are happy that it's there. I too also only had the handful of regular viewers/posters, but they were all very encouraging and kind.

 

[monique1971]

As an aspiring photography, I care a great deal about the quality of my pictures, and to a lesser extend the quality of pictures I'm viewing. If I can make out the subject it's fine, but some pictures with excessive grain due to being taken with a low grade webcam (or improper lighting) distract me. I know that's all some people have access to, and I don't stop looking at a persons pictures due to it. Hell, some of them even come out looking quite artsy due to the grain.

Anyways, yes I do care about quality, but moreso of my own photos.

I found that I cared more about the quality of my photos as I went along. At first I just wanted to be reassured that I was hot <rolls eyes>. After a few weeks I got interested in trying to make a picture that looked good, although I was still invested in the reassurance.

 

[AlteregoID]

I found that I cared more about the quality of my photos as I went along. At first I just wanted to be reassured that I was hot <rolls eyes>. After a few weeks I got interested in trying to make a picture that looked good, although I was still invested in the reassurance.

I don't think I ever saw your pic thread, I don't view very often. But from what I can see of your AV, it looks like a very well taken picture.

My hardest part is posing. I'm by no means a model and know nothing about which poses look good. I'm more into photographing nature and wildlife, with the occassional candid shot of people. At this point, I would not make a good portrait/glamour photographer, I just don't know how to direct people to pose *shrug*

 

[monique1971]

I don't think I ever saw your pic thread, I don't view very often. But from what I can see of your AV, it looks like a very well taken picture.

My hardest part is posing. I'm by no means a model and know nothing about which poses look good. I'm more into photographing nature and wildlife, with the occassional candid shot of people. At this point, I would not make a good portrait/glamour photographer, I just don't know how to direct people to pose *shrug*

Thanks re: my AV.

I too found that posing was tricky. Of course, the most popular pose for women, by a mile, is on her back with her legs spread wide. I didn't ever take that picture (well, not for public consumption -- I did experiment a little for my own amusement!). I learned that often when I felt comfortable, I actually didn't look that great. I had to think of every detail: fingers spread or closed? Hip turned out, or forward? Eventually I began repeating poses, which was not as fun for me or anyone else.