Why men can't win.....

brazenblaze

Literotica Guru
Joined
Dec 7, 2000
Posts
783
"Why Men Can't Win"

If you put a woman on a pedestal and
try to protect her from the rat race,
you are a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework,
you are a pansy.

If you work too hard,
there is never any time for her..
If you don't work enough,
you are a good for nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay,
this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay,
you should get off your rear
and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her,
that is favoritism.
If she gets job ahead of you,
it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks,
it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you are a wimp.
If you don't, you are an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her,
you are a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you,
she's liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something
she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form
and frilly underwear, you are a pervert.
If you don't, you are a fag.

If you like a woman to shave her legs
and keep in shape, you are a sexist.
If you don't, you are unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain.
If you don't, you are a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you are after something.
If you don't, you are not thoughtful.

If you are proud of your achievements,
you are up yourself.
If you don't, you are not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she is tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you are oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.

Now, that doesn't seem unreasonable to me. LMAO
 
Have we ever been married? I have an ex wife just like you, scary really.
 
How men COULD win

1. Call her the next day.

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

3. Tell her (truthfully!) that you can't wait to see
her again.

4. Offer her a back rub, without asking for one
in return.

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when
she's sick.

7. Write her a poem, even if it's not very good.

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say
hello.

11. Always remember your anniversaries and
bring her something sweet, preferably chocolate.

12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.

13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to
look up at the stars.

14. Tell her something about you that no one
else knows.

15. Remind her that you think she's beautiful.
Keep saying it. She'll never get tired of this one!

16. Take a bubble bath together.

17. Watch a sappy movie with her.

18. Surprise her with a candlelight dinner.

19. Never stop trying to impress her.

20. Tell her you love her.

21. Never forget how much she means to you.
 
Re: How men COULD win

brazenblaze said:
1. Call her the next day.

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

3. Tell her (truthfully!) that you can't wait to see
her again.

4. Offer her a back rub, without asking for one
in return.

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when
she's sick.

7. Write her a poem, even if it's not very good.

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say
hello.

11. Always remember your anniversaries and
bring her something sweet, preferably chocolate.

12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.

13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to
look up at the stars.

14. Tell her something about you that no one
else knows.

15. Remind her that you think she's beautiful.
Keep saying it. She'll never get tired of this one!

16. Take a bubble bath together.

17. Watch a sappy movie with her.

18. Surprise her with a candlelight dinner.

19. Never stop trying to impress her.

20. Tell her you love her.

21. Never forget how much she means to you.



Yeah I would swoon over a man that did some of those some of the time, let alone all of them all of the time!!
 
How men can win aka 21 Things to work toward getting laid. lol
 
hey Phoenix welcome back. Where ya been?
You up for harrassing Scarlett?? Grins and winks at you
 
I have been sick and having the shakes most of the week so my comp time was extremely limited.

BTW sorry about the GI Joe thread but I can not join and I have to quit the cheerleading in the lockerroom thread too soon because of school and work obligations. ( I am a full time student, plus I work for Compaq: Direct). So right now I am mucho mucho mucho. My only regret is I did not get to play with Cheeky Minx yet. :(
 
Pouts

At least your ok now though. Grins, and dont think you escape from me that easilly. Heehee.
What you studying??
 
those things have helped me to have a sucessful marriage, brazen, and i work on the list every day. a foot massage for the hell of it, kissing the back of her neck while she's cooking, hugging her just because we're passing each other in the hall, scrubbing her back in the tub and having coffee made when whe wakes up.



a sucessful relationship is an equal partnership between the partners. women are more equal than others...
 
Two good lists, brazenblaze

We can't win, but we can't stop trying, either. Women are so irresistable, and deserving. It's wonderful just to get a chance to try--as with your second list.
 
Docgtvt said:
those things have helped me to have a sucessful marriage, brazen, and i work on the list every day

I couldn't agree more. I believe I've been blessed for I have a husband who does all of these things and more.

His favorite thing is to send me flowers (always at work) just because. He says what's the point of getting flowers if you can't show them off and it lets everyone know you are loved. :D

Of course the sucess of your marriage includes the fact that I return the attention.
 
Re: How men COULD win

brazenblaze said:
1. Call her the next day.

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

3. Tell her (truthfully!) that you can't wait to see
her again.

4. Offer her a back rub, without asking for one
in return.

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when
she's sick.

7. Write her a poem, even if it's not very good.

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say
hello.

11. Always remember your anniversaries and
bring her something sweet, preferably chocolate.

12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.

13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to
look up at the stars.

14. Tell her something about you that no one
else knows.

15. Remind her that you think she's beautiful.
Keep saying it. She'll never get tired of this one!

16. Take a bubble bath together.

17. Watch a sappy movie with her.

18. Surprise her with a candlelight dinner.

19. Never stop trying to impress her.

20. Tell her you love her.

21. Never forget how much she means to you.

I do all these things for my wife.... Really I do... She is coming home from the Hos. today... So I have a Miss you card(sappy one) Flowers... I am making a Samon with Orange Glaze and after taht I have Candle set up around the tub for her so she can soak her pains away...

Uhm... But Remember... I am an Asshole...(Well thats what I want to be whenI grow up)
 
Re: How men COULD win

brazenblaze said:
1. Call her the next day.

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

3. Tell her (truthfully!) that you can't wait to see
her again.

4. Offer her a back rub, without asking for one
in return.

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when
she's sick.

7. Write her a poem, even if it's not very good.

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say
hello.

11. Always remember your anniversaries and
bring her something sweet, preferably chocolate.

12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.

13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to
look up at the stars.

14. Tell her something about you that no one
else knows.

15. Remind her that you think she's beautiful.
Keep saying it. She'll never get tired of this one!

16. Take a bubble bath together.

17. Watch a sappy movie with her.

18. Surprise her with a candlelight dinner.

19. Never stop trying to impress her.

20. Tell her you love her.

21. Never forget how much she means to you.

I have done most of these but the one that I will say that I have stopped doing is #19.. the reason for this is that if you are trying to impress her you are not being yourself and then end up screwing the whole relationship up..

But #20 I seem to never be able to stop telling her that.. and #15 tho she keeps Denying it wich hurts me when I tell her and she says, that it is not possible for her to be Beautiful. Now she has told me this tho that did make me feel better about it.. That I'm the only Man that has made her feel Beautifil all of her 26 yrs..

As for the Rest of the list most if it just seems to come naturally for me.. I like to share the experiences that I have seen with her, tho there are some that I have seen that I want to share with her that I can't but hopefully soon I will.. :)

E
 
Re: *blush*

Nobody Special's wife said:
Honey I love you so much !!! You give me love for the rest of my life and i will be happy

Yuck.... hehehe....:) Women... they need so much attention... just like a brand new car... hehehe :)
 
Blaze

I try to make this list part of my life, I don't want my wife to ever doubt my love for her...I don't think she does either, so it must be working.
 
Re: Blaze

Remington said:
I try to make this list part of my life, I don't want my wife to ever doubt my love for her...I don't think she does either, so it must be working.

I don't think she does either.
 
Re: How men COULD win

brazenblaze said:
1. Call her the next day.

2. Always laugh at her jokes.

3. Tell her (truthfully!) that you can't wait to see
her again.

4. Offer her a back rub, without asking for one
in return.

5. Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6. Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when
she's sick.

7. Write her a poem, even if it's not very good.

8. Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9. Bring her flowers for no reason.

10. Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say
hello.

11. Always remember your anniversaries and
bring her something sweet, preferably chocolate.

12. Kiss her in the middle of a sentence.

13. Take her for a walk at sunset and stay to
look up at the stars.

14. Tell her something about you that no one
else knows.

15. Remind her that you think she's beautiful.
Keep saying it. She'll never get tired of this one!

16. Take a bubble bath together.

17. Watch a sappy movie with her.

18. Surprise her with a candlelight dinner.

19. Never stop trying to impress her.

20. Tell her you love her.

21. Never forget how much she means to you.

i.e.; play up to her and forget about being a man. Cheers.
 
Hey!

I did all that and I ended up married....

that's winning?????

Where's the prize???
 
Cheeky Minx

cheekyminx said:
Pouts

At least your ok now though. Grins, and dont think you escape from me that easilly. Heehee.
What you studying??


What I did not escape well in that case..............I surrender. I put myself at the mercy of cheeky minx. I am her personal toy from now on. I give... I throw myself at her mercy..(Looks up to see if surrender idea worked hehe)

Oh yeah anyways right now I am study to be a journalist at ( sudden noise blocks answer) University
 
I have done everything on that list to nearly every woman that I have had a relationship with and I'm still not hitched.

I guess I should try harder then.
 
Angelius said:
I have done everything on that list to nearly every woman that I have had a relationship with and I'm still not hitched.

I guess I should try harder then.


(((((Angelius)))))) Their loss!
 
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