Why Men Are Rarely Depressed From The Female P.o.v:

[GuiltyPleasure]

Men Are Just Happier People.

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station
restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to
turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress=$5000. Tux rental=$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking
to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for
all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.

 

[GuiltyPleasure]

Viva La Difference

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they
will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.


EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.


MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that
she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's
bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these
items.


ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any
argument.

Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future
until he gets a wife.


MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the
plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.


NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the
night.


OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her
children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living
in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's
no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

It has been scientifically proved that men enjoy being nagged, if they didn't they would do as asked the first time of asking

 

[twelveoone]

Tess I love you
I tempted to say let's test this one
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed.
but afraid of the retraction
and you are a good writer...and surely I would be devastated...after laughing...because you are good with comedy also...but paunchy rhymes with raunchy, so we got a rhyme goin'

 

[twelveoone]

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to
bed.
Fuck it, let's go with it

I Love the way his stomach moves
like an unquiet burial mound
and what a way to start the day
with a fart and a yawn

Just can't see it, being a straight man. Nobody looks good waking up.
the horror, the horror

 

[twelveoone]

and now I just depressed myself

 

[HarryHill]

Laugh My Arse Off... well done and you got 12 oh started as well
..
The world is your urinal.

men are dogs in the long run ^^

 

[twelveoone]

NICKNAMES


BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

The average number of items in the typical woman's
bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these
items.

and if a Man lives with a Woman

he (if he can find it)

will find he razor used and the shaving cream empty because well it was an emergency
and his towel a strange colour, because she just redid the colour of her hair and she is pissed because that us the only way you noticed it.

and Marriage and name changes, works on men also,

sometime after Marriage he drops the sexy and just becomes the ape

 

[butters]

i'm having a hard time relating to some of the female pov statements - f'rinstance, my sons have way more 'products' in the bathroom than i do, half of them empty, probably!

as for dressing up to water the plants and stuff? gawd, i must be such a slut

 

[twelveoone]

i'm having a hard time relating to some of the female pov statements - f'rinstance, my sons have way more 'products' in the bathroom than i do, half of them empty, probably!

as for dressing up to water the plants and stuff? gawd, i must be such a slut

Metros, they'll revert
I love it when the israeli (ex russian) girls try to sell me exfoliates in the mall

Hey, if I bath with this stuff, will it cause my internal organs to show? Cool, than I won't have to buy the t-shirt.

Truly I am a sea of deadness.

 

[butters]

Metros, they'll revert
I love it when the israeli (ex russian) girls try to sell me exfoliates in the mall

Hey, if I bath with this stuff, will it cause my internal organs to show? Cool, than I won't have to buy the t-shirt.

Truly I am a sea of deadness.

how long will it take? no3's almost 17, getting on for 43

*floats on you* ahem, don't mind me....

 

[twelveoone]

how long will it take? no3's almost 17, getting on for 43

*floats on you* ahem, don't mind me....

take his razor and shave your legs
take his cologne and wear it
Most men (unless they are Norman Bates) will object to smelling like their mum
tell him he looks "cute"

he will soon discover the joy of unshaved knuckle dragging, of course the price you pay is he will no longer be able to piss in the toilet, but rather more around it

 

[butters]

take his razor and shave your legs
take his cologne and wear it
Most men (unless they are Norman Bates) will object to smelling like their mum
tell him he looks "cute"

he will soon discover the joy of unshaved knuckle dragging, of course the price you pay is he will no longer be able to piss in the toilet, but rather more around it

*smiles*

the 21 year old's worse than the younger one.

as to the toilet, it took them long enough to learn to aim, i'm not returning to that again, thanks