*&^*&^%&^%$!! Why me, Lord?

[MathGirl]

Back home, listening to baseball game on radio? *&(*$!! Went to SF with Auntie, got into PacBell Park. Giants vs Brewers. On the way to our seats, she hooks a heel on a stair, falls down, hurts ankle. Taken to aid station. Might be busted. Want ambulance to take to hospital? I thought that would be fine, and I'd watch the game, then go to hospital.

Auntie insists on going home to her usual hospital. Wheelchair to car. MG drives her to hospital, game on car radio. Just got back from ER. Not busted; bad sprain; Ace bandage; crutches. Auntie pissed and sore. MG sore and pissed.

Auntie says she might sue. I tell her I'll testify for the defense, if she does. NOBODY wears heels to a baseball game.
MG
Ps. Good game. 3-3 in eighth
Pps. In case I haven't mentioned it, &^*&)(*&%*$)&)_(!!

 

[oggbashan]

MG,

What is baseball?

Og

 

[MathGirl]

What is baseball?

Up yers, Og. I ain't in the mood for levity.
MG

 

[oggbashan]

I thought it might help you to have someone like me to swear at.

What are friends for if they can't listen to your tale of woe?

Og

 

[MathGirl]

I thought it might help you to have someone like me to swear at.

Dear Og,
Oh. Thanks. *&(*+(_+&)(*^(&%*&^%_*)_!!
MG

 

[OldnotDead]

Auntie says she might sue. I tell her I'll testify for the defense, if she does. NOBODY wears heels to a baseball game.
MG

THIS is a great line. Make sure you save it for use at a future time.

But, just to prove how old I am, I can recall a time when seeing someone at a baseball game in heals was not surprising. I can also remembering attending an Alabama football game with ladies in dresses, stockings and heels.

*Sigh* ahhh. for a kindler, gentler time.

But don't think for a minute that THOSE women did not take the game seriously. I can also recall some less than ladylike language from some very dressed ladies

NOW, let me tell you what *I* would have done. Carried Auntie to her seat. Bought the largest Popcorn bucket available. Eaten the popcorn. Put Auntie's foot in the bucket. Buy the largest cold soda's I could find. Drank the soda (no problem after all that popcorn) dumped all the ice on Auntie's ankle. Ordered more ice from one of the vendors. Watched the game.

Bent or broken ankles can always be fixed later. Afternoon's at the ballpark are too good to be wasted.

and BTW, don't anyone tell the Cubbies it's September. they are still playing like it's not.

OldnotDead

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: *&^*&^%&^%$!! Why me, Lord?

NOW, let me tell you what *I* would have done. Carried Auntie to her seat. Watched the game.

Dear OnD,
Good advice, but you don't know Auntie. Her loud bitching would probably have gotten us thrown out, anyway.
MG
Ps. Wouldn't you know it. Close, exciting game. Now in extra innings, and I'm watching it on the radio. %$&^^(*&*&^%%&^%$^%$#^!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

In answer to your question: Why you? 'Cause you're cute a cucumber when you're angry. That would be my guess.

 

[MathGirl]

Originally posted by KillerMuffin In answer to your question: Why you? 'Cause you're cute a cucumber when you're angry. That would be my guess.

Dear Muffie,
Oh, thank you so very much. I can't tell you how much better that makes me feel.
MG

 

[Lauren Hynde]

My advice would be to go pirate, next time. "He (she) who falls behind, stays behind." Tough luck, Auntie...

 

[MathGirl]

My advice would be to go pirate, next time. "He (she) who falls behind, stays behind." Tough luck, Auntie...

Dear LH,
I would absolutely never hear the end of it. She's family, too. It's hopeless.
MG
Ps. Turned out to be a great game. Won in extra innings. I hope someone enjoyed those box seats.
Pps. )(&)(*&*&^%&^%$!!

 

[gauchecritic]

My advice would be to go pirate, next time. "He (she) who falls behind, stays behind." Tough luck, Auntie...

Is that the same as going 'commando'?

Must remember to go watch the Indiana Broncos next time I'm in the U.S of yeah right, blokes playing rounders. That's just the game for me. Listening to it on the radio?

Gauche

 

[Guest]

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Originally posted by GC

As opposed to the excitement of a football match that ends nil-nil and is decided by penalty kicks?

I think you're watching too many matches between Italian teams

 

[MathGirl]

blokes playing rounders. That's just the game for me. Listening to it on the radio?

Dear Gauchie,
I'll be the first to admit that baseball is a really weird game. The only way to understand it is to grow up with it. Otherwise, it's extremely boring. I was taken to a cricket match once, and it was totally incomprehensible to me. Guys did strange stuff with a ball, some posts, and an overgrown flyswatter. They would suddenly run around yelling for no discernible purpose, then they would all walk off the field. I imagine a Brit seeing baseball would have an experience similar to that which I had with cricket.

I like baseball in person or on the radio. On TV, it's rather boring. The Giants have two really gifted radio announcers, and they bring the game right to your head.
MG
Ps. "He kisses her on the strikes, and she kisses him on the balls."
Jerome Herman Dean

 

[raphy]

Bah:

There's only 5 steps to a game of Cricket. How hard can it be?

• You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
• Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
• When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
• Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
• When both sides have been in and out including the not outs ...

That's the end of the game!

 

[Quasimodem]

Bah:

There's only 5 steps to a game of Cricket. How hard can it be?

• You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
• Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
• When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
• Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
• When both sides have been in and out including the not outs ...

That's the end of the game!

So THAT's what you Brits mean when you talk about "the old in and out."

I thought it meant something else?

 

[MathGirl]

So THAT's what you Brits mean when you talk about "the old in and out."

Dear Quaz,
Yes, it probably is. Sad, isn't it?
MG

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

MathGirl,

You are a true baseball fanatic. Anyone who'd actually go to see the Brewers play has a serious addiction. Granted, the game was close and exciting. But that fluke proves either the age of miracles hasn't passed or that the Giants, with the second best record in major league baseball and their division long since sewn up, were giving a bunch of minor league players a chance to play in the "Big Show".

Of course, it's possible the Brewers, with one of the worst records in the majors and fighting for last place in their division, brought up a minor league player named Joe Hardy who'd just sold his soul to a guy calling himself Mr. Applegate in exchange for one decent, if meaningless, game against the Giants (they think cheap in Milwaukee).

Rumple Foreskin

ps: Other notable quotes by J.H. "Dizzy" Dean:

"The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing."

"The game was closer than the score indicated." (after a 1-0 game)

"It ain't braggin' if you can back it up."

and last but not least, "He slud into third."

 

[Guest]

Dear Gauchie,
I'll be the first to admit that baseball is a really weird game. The only way to understand it is to grow up with it. Otherwise, it's extremely boring. I was taken to a cricket match once, and it was totally incomprehensible to me. Guys did strange stuff with a ball, some posts, and an overgrown flyswatter. They would suddenly run around yelling for no discernible purpose, then they would all walk off the field. I imagine a Brit seeing baseball would have an experience similar to that which I had with cricket.

I like baseball in person or on the radio. On TV, it's rather boring. The Giants have two really gifted radio announcers, and they bring the game right to your head.
MG
Ps. "He kisses her on the strikes, and she kisses him on the balls."
Jerome Herman Dean

Talking of commentators saying funny things. Brian Johnson, while commentating on West Indies v England test cricket match in the late '70's said, with a very straight face: "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willy".

Lou

 

[Icingsugar]

Bah:

There's only 5 steps to a game of Cricket. How hard can it be?

• You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
• Each man that's in the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
• When they are all out the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.
• Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
• When both sides have been in and out including the not outs ...

That's the end of the game!

And then you have tea.

 

[Icingsugar]

Dear Gauchie,
I'll be the first to admit that baseball is a really weird game. The only way to understand it is to grow up with it. Otherwise, it's extremely boring.

I have to disagree. I have watched two, maybe three games of baseball in my life and I think it's pretty easy to get the main point. Hit the ball. Run like hell. Points for running all the way. The minor details is kinda weird, but I don't really have to bother with them. And it's entertaining enough for about fifteen minutes. Mainly because one had to admire the skill involved in even seeing that damn scewball coming, let alone swinging a bat like mad at it instead of just running away.

The same with the other American Enigma: Am Football. Easy to understand (Grab ball. Run like hell. Get squished.) and kind of entertaining to watch, on a testosterone-pumping level. But all the tactics makes my head hurt.

Golf. Now that sucks.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

The comedian George Carlin had a great routine on the difference between baseball and football. The gist of it being baseball is peaceful and bucolic "They play on a field," in comparison to football which is militaristic and war-like, "They play on a gridiron."

IMHO, Carlin's right. The thing about football, American style, is it's probably the closest anyone can come to war without bullets. Unlike American football and war, I have never participated in Rugby or Australian Rules Football, but from watching both, I'd think they're in a close race for second place.

RF

 

[MathGirl]

You are a true baseball fanatic. Anyone who'd actually go to see the Brewers play has a serious addiction. Of course, it's possible the Brewers, with one of the worst records in the majors and fighting for last place in their division, brought up a minor league player named Joe Hardy

1. I will go to most any professional baseball game under any conditions. I used to go to night games at Candlestick. I like going to San Jose to see the Giants' class A team.
2. Ol' Diz's name, of course, may have been "Jay Hannah." He apparently never made that clear.
3. Damn Yankees
MG
Ps. I don't much like football, but no sport (other than armed combat) can match it for speed and violence. Even wearing armor, there are serious injuries.
Pps. Icing, It's because you understand only the rudiments of baseball that it's boring. Also, you probably have never seen a Major League game in person. It's an experience.

 

[Icingsugar]

Also, you probably have never seen a Major League game in person. It's an experience.

Actually I have. Twas pleasant and interresting. However, It didn't stand a chance to the sheer religion of a Premier Leauge derby. And I'm not a football (soccer) fan eihter. It's just that Arsenal fans are friggin insane.

Although you're probably right about one thing. I do understand ballkicking better than batwhipping.

Naah, give me hockey any time. Stanley cup -01. Now that was an _experience_. It's all about the aquired taste I guess.