Why Is It That People I Care About Must Become Drunk Assholes?

[BgMma]

I have been friends with this guy for about eight years. He and I had a light dating relationship and I really enjoyed his company

On NYE, he got plastered and decided to become the biggest prick imaginable. It hurt badly what he said to me, which I will not bum out anyone else by repeating, and I left. I went back the next day to get the things I left behind and he acted like nothing happened.

"Sorry I got a bit out of hand last night." That was his view of it.

You know what? I am tired of it. My father was an alcoholic, my ex step father was a druggie, my current step father is an alcoholic.
I am sick of finding out someone's true colours after they have consumed much too much.

I haven't spoken to him since, and I don't think he realises that I am not coming back.

But, then, from what he said, I doubt he cares.

I told him that am too young and yet too old to deal with his ignorant and hateful bullshit. I wont' survive with him? I did a great job without him before. I am intelligent and I have a good head on my shoulders, but I am too fat for his taste?

Why were we even together? Why did I even stay as long as I did? It was like this from day one and it took me three weeks to see it.

So, I am through. I tell everyone right now, I will not deal with you on a personal level if you have to be drunk to have fun. You aren't worth it.

 

[Guest]

You should leave him and move to UK.

 

[BgMma]

You should leave him and move to UK.

I actually thought about the Uk anyway, but not because of him.

 

[HeavyStick]

You should leave him and move to UK.

Good thinking, leave a couple of drunks for a nation full of them.

 

[BgMma]

Good thinking, leave a couple of drunks for a nation full of them.

LOL! Good point.

Of course, I haven't known many Brits and the ones I did know didn't drink anyway.

Is CV from the UK? I never bothered to even look.

 

[Guest]

Good thinking, leave a couple of drunks for a nation full of them.

Well, we don't have GW Bush running the country over here.

 

[HeavyStick]

Well, we don't have GW Bush running the country over here.

That's the best you can do? ok sober ppman. Tony's nose is so far up GW's ass, GW might as well be running your country.

 

[Sukit_beatch!]

Yo, in prison, we mostly drink illegal hooch. One time I thought I was the warden and got into all kinds of trouble ordering the guards around.

 

[Trail48]

That's the best you can do? ok sober ppman. Tony's nose is so far up GW's ass, GW might as well be running your country.

Somehow your political posts have more significance when Nicholson is looking at you.

 

[Guest]

That's the best you can do? ok sober ppman. Tony's nose is so far up GW's ass, GW might as well be running your country.

Tony doesn't run my country. I just live in UK.

 

[HeavyStick]

Tony doesn't run my country. I just live in UK.

So, you're a pawn of a pawn.

 

[Lancecastor]

My father was an alcoholic, my ex step father was a druggie, my current step father is an alcoholic.

The answer to your question might be found in the words clipped from your post (above).

People tend towards re-creating the dynamics of their "first family" in their adult relationships.

There are lots of good books on dysfunctional and co-dependant behavior you can read to help you break the cycle if that's the case.

All the best;

Lance

 

[intrigued]

I have been friends with this guy for about eight years. He and I had a light dating relationship and I really enjoyed his company

On NYE, he got plastered and decided to become the biggest prick imaginable. It hurt badly what he said to me, which I will not bum out anyone else by repeating, and I left. I went back the next day to get the things I left behind and he acted like nothing happened.

"Sorry I got a bit out of hand last night." That was his view of it.

You know what? I am tired of it. My father was an alcoholic, my ex step father was a druggie, my current step father is an alcoholic.
I am sick of finding out someone's true colours after they have consumed much too much.

I haven't spoken to him since, and I don't think he realises that I am not coming back.

But, then, from what he said, I doubt he cares.

I told him that am too young and yet too old to deal with his ignorant and hateful bullshit. I wont' survive with him? I did a great job without him before. I am intelligent and I have a good head on my shoulders, but I am too fat for his taste?

Why were we even together? Why did I even stay as long as I did? It was like this from day one and it took me three weeks to see it.

So, I am through. I tell everyone right now, I will not deal with you on a personal level if you have to be drunk to have fun. You aren't worth it.

The fact that he remembers "last night" says that he was still in control of himself and did what he did anyway...and coupled with the knowledge that alcohol is both an excuse for bad bahavior/mistakes and general "oopsies' and the fact that for most, it relaxes to the point of relaxing our inhibitions as well, then I believe he was being truthful in whatever he said or did.
It's a shame that it took 8 years for this to come out, especially considering it is something such as appearance.
However, I do think that for a friendship to last 8 years that there is something there worth saving, and I hope you don't completely burn this bridge. There is probably more to this than what is apparent.

I've found that its very revealing to listen and observe when someone is intoxicated.

 

[sterlingclay]

You go girl!

Alcohol blows chunks. There are several alcoholics and drug addicts in my family. Good people but a little misguided. On the bright side, I am glad I was raised in that environment as a sober child. It made me realize what alcohol in large quantities can do to people, and I sure as hell didn't like it. Also, it tastes awful. No amount of peer pressure could convince me otherwise. I don't mind people drinking to loosen up or relax or whatever they drink it for. I don't need it to relax, open up, or whatever because I am already comfortable with me. two cents.

 

[BgMma]

Re: Re: Why Is It That People I Care About Must Become Drunk Assholes?

The answer to your question might be found in the words clipped from your post (above).

People tend towards re-creating the dynamics of their "first family" in their adult relationships.

There are lots of good books on dysfunctional and co-dependant behavior you can read to help you break the cycle if that's the case.

All the best;

Lance

You have an excellent point, Lance. I may just take that advice

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Re: Why Is It That People I Care About Must Become Drunk Assholes?

You have an excellent point, Lance. I may just take that advice

We are all masters of our fate and captains of our soul.


Lance

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Re: Why Is It That People I Care About Must Become Drunk Assholes?

The answer to your question might be found in the words clipped from your post (above).

People tend towards re-creating the dynamics of their "first family" in their adult relationships.

There are lots of good books on dysfunctional and co-dependant behavior you can read to help you break the cycle if that's the case. All the best; Lance

I agree with Lance.

From hard personal experience there is a way off the treadmill of abuse and that starts by rejecting the unacceptable behaviour. Remember, there is a difference between the person and the alcohol . . . the alcohol causes the unacceptable behaviour . . . the person is dis-eased. You will need support from other people who understand what is happening to you because it has also happened to them.

The road out that I found was Al-Anon . . . there are fellowships everywhere, so check your phone book for the contact person. The only requirement for attending an Al-Anon meeting is somebody under the influence of alcohol affecting your life.

A sensible suggestion would be to move to Oz and start again . . . we can use all the talented positive people we can get.

Physical and mental abuse are NEVER acceptable . . . particularly from alcoholics.

 

[Soblue]

You know you're absolutely right BgMma. Being drunk is a poor excuse for being an asshole. I don't buy it either.

I also have personal experience with alcoholics and it's really painful to be around them.

 

[HeavyStick]

Alcohol brings out the uglier side that a person may normally keep locked within.

 

[BgMma]

Re: Re: Why Is It That People I Care About Must Become Drunk Assholes?

The fact that he remembers "last night" says that he was still in control of himself and did what he did anyway...and coupled with the knowledge that alcohol is both an excuse for bad bahavior/mistakes and general "oopsies' and the fact that for most, it relaxes to the point of relaxing our inhibitions as well, then I believe he was being truthful in whatever he said or did.
It's a shame that it took 8 years for this to come out, especially considering it is something such as appearance.
However, I do think that for a friendship to last 8 years that there is something there worth saving, and I hope you don't completely burn this bridge. There is probably more to this than what is apparent.

I've found that its very revealing to listen and observe when someone is intoxicated.

You know, it wasn't that he was a friend, it was the fact that I cared.

I let my feelings get to me and for that, I paid.

 

[sterlingclay]

Re: Re: Why Is It That People I Care About Must Become Drunk Assholes?

The answer to your question might be found in the words clipped from your post (above).

People tend towards re-creating the dynamics of their "first family" in their adult relationships.

There are lots of good books on dysfunctional and co-dependant behavior you can read to help you break the cycle if that's the case.

All the best;

Lance

I started breaking away from my family's cycle as soon as Consciousness developed. Awareness is key to breaking the beast.

 

[BgMma]

You go girl!

Alcohol blows chunks. There are several alcoholics and drug addicts in my family. Good people but a little misguided. On the bright side, I am glad I was raised in that environment as a sober child. It made me realize what alcohol in large quantities can do to people, and I sure as hell didn't like it. Also, it tastes awful. No amount of peer pressure could convince me otherwise. I don't mind people drinking to loosen up or relax or whatever they drink it for. I don't need it to relax, open up, or whatever because I am already comfortable with me. two cents.

I appreciate your opinion, honey. I do. Thank you.

 

[BgMma]

Re: Re: Re: Why Is It That People I Care About Must Become Drunk Assholes?

I agree with Lance.

From hard personal experience there is a way off the treadmill of abuse and that starts by rejecting the unacceptable behaviour. Remember, there is a difference between the person and the alcohol . . . the alcohol causes the unacceptable behaviour . . . the person is dis-eased. You will need support from other people who understand what is happening to you because it has also happened to them.

The road out that I found was Al-Anon . . . there are fellowships everywhere, so check your phone book for the contact person. The only requirement for attending an Al-Anon meeting is somebody under the influence of alcohol affecting your life.

A sensible suggestion would be to move to Oz and start again . . . we can use all the talented positive people we can get.

Physical and mental abuse are NEVER acceptable . . . particularly from alcoholics.

Thank you. You know, I have my own alcohol problem and I try to stay away from it.
To make it understood, he did insult me even when he was sober, but not until we had a closer relationship. I feel sorry for him, but I feel even sorrier that he doesn't know how sick he really is.

Thanks, DKD. I think you reminded me of something very important.

 

[Guest]

Alcohol brings out the uglier side that a person may normally keep locked within.

this is so painfully true which is why I dont get drunk anymore.

 

[BgMma]

this is so painfully true which is why I dont get drunk anymore.

I agree.

I am a violent maniac when I drink and that is why I had to stop.