Why I'm going to end up changing my name and moving to another state.

[naudiz]

I finished the second installment of a story. I have a few friends who are willing to edit my work. I emailed the finished piece so they can tear it apart. I've done this twice. Both times, I've typed the wrong domain name in one of the addresses. Fortunately, to date, both mangled domain names don't exist. No harm, no foul. But they say three time's the charm. I'm not emailing my writing anymore. From now on, I'll call my friends and foot the bill to read it word by word over the phone if I have to.

I'm writing for Lit. in part to get over my fear of exposure. This is not helping!

Point and laugh. It's pretty funny. I'm sure I'll be able to laugh about this eventually.

 

[Nigel]

At least someone will edit your work, naudiz..... I emailed at least ten volunteer editors, asking if they had time to give my story a look. This was at least two months ago. Still no answer.....

Email CAN be treacherous....one little typo, and a guy named Phil in Cleveland is reading about your naughty bits.....

 

[Svedish_Chef]

I still dont have naudiz in my box DAMN it.

Oh and my address is literotica .org short for ORGasm.

 

[naudiz]

Now I know I emailed you at the right address, Cheffie, because I cut and pasted it. Ms. Short Attention Span can't remember something as complicated as Svedish_Chef.

I haven't tried the volunteer editors. I'm lucky to have friends that will read my work. Then again, if they don't, they have to listen to me fret and fuss like the neurotic would-be artist that I am. Plus, I bribe them.

 

[AzureAngel]

You could always use the address book feature of most e-mail programs so you don't have to type the actual addresses.

That, or change your name to Naudia. I will change my name to Boris. We can move to (fill in the state) together.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

I

WANT

BRIBERY!

 

[naudiz]

You know, AA, if you keep those AVs coming, you can call me anything you like.

I should use the address book feature. I keep thinking if I have to type out the addresses I'll get over my little memory problem, but that isn't happening, and I really don't want some little old lady (or worse, some underaged teenager) in Nowhere, Buttfuckistan to end up unwittingly deluged in unedited porn.

*twitch* Urge to hide under a rock rising. Yes. Address book. This is wise.

Cheffie, why would I bribe when I'm getting it for free?

 

[AzureAngel]

You know, AA, if you keep those AVs coming, you can call me anything you like.

I swoon. I must confess.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

You are getting me for free?

Damn people, cant even pay for it!

 

[Svedish_Chef]

While you are here AA, thats a shitty towel, and I liked the other ones better.

 

[AzureAngel]

While you are here AA, thats a shitty towel, and I liked the other ones better.

If you'd like to buy me another one, please do, and then complain when I don't use it. Until then, I trust you'll excuse my apathy.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Well you could just go towelless, I do.

Oh hang on, mostly anyway.

Or there could be a collection to buy you a towel so the lit cuties could drooll on you some more.

 

[alexandraaah]

Well you could just go towelless, I do.

Oh hang on, mostly anyway.

Or there could be a collection to buy you a towel so the lit cuties could drooll on you some more.

I think we'd vote to lose the towel.

 

[naudiz]

That towel makes me think: just a little lower....

I got a swoon! This is a step up in the world for me. I'm not smooth when I flirt. Usually, it goes a little something like this:

Gratutious 8-Bit Theater Comic

 

[Svedish_Chef]

I swooned all over your picture.

Um wait, that was too forward.

 

[AzureAngel]

*Laughs.* Give me humor any day of the week.

Unless you've got some pie. Mmm.

 

[naudiz]

No, no! Swooning is good! Much better than screaming or clawing out one's eyes.

Humor and pie? Welcome to my world, baby. I'm a joke-tossing pie-making machine! I had brief aspirations of opening a pie shop once. Now I'm envisioning a combination pie shop comedy club. Imagine the heckling.

 

[AzureAngel]

*Snickers.* You so dreamy.

 

[Wysteria]

Ahem.

So, as one of naudiz's editors, I am called upon to relate the ways in which I am helpful.

See, I read the stories, and search for those little things one misses while writing, and then draw them tactfully to her attention.

For example, in the current story, there was a point at which she typed "wedging me knee" instead of "wedging my knee".

I drew her attention to this oversight with my usual subtle class, to wit: "Arrrrrrrrrrrr, matey! I be an ass-pirate!"

She thought I should tell you. I blame her.

 

[naudiz]

Because it's not funny unless I'm humilated.

Now I'm going to stick that in a story somewhere. Ass-pirate. Arr!

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Ahem.

So, as one of naudiz's editors, I am called upon to relate the ways in which I am helpful.

I thought you were just around for the threesomes?

 

[naudiz]

She's versatile. She inflicts interesting poetry games on us, too.

 

[Wysteria]

I thought you were just around for the threesomes?

That, editing, and... assorted other services...

~=Wysteria=~
Naudiz Fangirl #1!

 

[Wysteria]

She's versatile. She inflicts interesting poetry games on us, too.

Anyone for Higgledy-Piggledy?

(THERE'S a thread that wouldn't get much action....)

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Hey, I thought I did the bad poetry around here.

Fuck me...