Why I hate dogs!!!!

[MathGirl]

Why I don't have a dog!

My aunt lives next door. She asked me to let her beagle, Walter, stay in my yard while guys work on her fence. Walter came to be with me about twenty minutes ago.

In his first ten minutes in my yard, Walter chased my cat off over the fence, ate all the cat's food, dug up my tuberous begonias, pissed on my treadmill, and had diarrhea all over my Astroturf welcome mat.

Walter is now back in his own yard, chained to a water pipe. I hope the SOB runs away.

MG

Ps. (*&^(**^^%&%!!
Pps. Household hint: Trying to hose dog BM off Astroturf is counterproductive. Best to replace Astroturf.
Ppps. Announcement from DurtGurl: New story up. "How to Write a Good Dirty Storey" Written by a new member of the DG Group who wisely wishes to remain anonymous. It's at......

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=102491 It's something you shouldn't fail to miss.

 

[SexySoBeChick]

Bad Dog!

That's exactly why I'm a cat person! My sympathies, MG.

 

[bridgeburner]

Beagles! Ugh!

Before you replace your lovely green plastic lawn toss some cat litter down on the Astroturf and let it soak up whatever blefnich remains for awhile -- you might need to rub it in lightly with a scrub brush or something. When it dries vacuum it up.

Looking after someone else's dog is rarely a treat -- particularly if you're a cat owner. I adore my dog, but I have little patience with plenty others and their owners. I'm also well aware that however much I adore my dog, not everyone else will be even mildly fond of her.

--B

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Why I don't have a dog!

Ppps. Announcement from DurtGurl: New story up. "How to Write a Good Dirty Storey" Written by a new member of the DG Group who wisely wishes to remain anonymous.

Inspired by the Dog Incident, by any chance?

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Yep, cats is the pets to have. Personally, I quite like dogs, but I don't have the temperament for one of my own. Cats is good, they generally look after themselves just fine and house training is not generally an issue.

The psychopathic streak can be an issue at times, though.

GL

 

[pop_54]

Yeppers

Our cat won't have dogs in the house or garden, Ginger Tom, very huge, very bad tempered with other 4 legged animals, fortunately very soft with humans.

We've had both actually dogs and cats, get a decent inteligent breed of dog they're OK, get a thick soft lap dog, you're on a loser where training it to behave is concerned.


pops..............

 

[MathGirl]

I DO NOT hate dogs!!!!!!!

I wish I could change the header of this thread, but I can't figure out how to do it. I DON'T hate dogs. I wrote that in a fit of anger after Walter trashed my yard. Actually, I like Walter. He's very nice to visit, I just don't want him in my yard. Sometimes it seems like a dog is just one ambulatory excretory system.

I'm a one cat at a time person. Senor Alec Thompson does his business at some unknown elsewhere, and I never have to wonder what horrible mischief he's going to get up to.

No, Svenska, the story has nothing to do with Walter's visit. The story is much worse. It has to be seen to be believed.
MG
Ps. Dear GL, Terry Pratchett calls cats "graceful sociopaths" and I tend to agree with him.
Pps. Thanks for the Astroturf cleaning advice, but it's already been removed and replaced. Auntie is going to get a bill.

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Senor Alec Thompson?

 

[MathGirl]

Senor Alec Thompson?

Dear Mlle,
That's my cat's name. It came from "Tortilla Flat" by John Steinbeck. In the novel, the Senor is a dog.
MG

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

As long as it isn't from "The Pearl." God, I wanna blow my f*cking head off just thinking about "The Pearl"

Oh...um, yeah. That's a lovely name for a pussy.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

And this is of interest to authors of erotica why?



---Sr. Relevence

 

[MathGirl]

Oh, oh

Originally posted by dr_mabeuse And this is of interest to authors of erotica why? Relevence

Dear Dr M,
Oh, dear. I certainly hope we haven't offended your delicate sensibilities and strict adherence to protocol. I, for one, would be devastated. Perhaps the title of the thread might have warned you and spared you an uncomfortable experience.
MG

 

[TheEarl]

Oh God. Will you two put down the handbags for a couple of minutes? No offence, I like both of you, but there doesn't seem to be a single thread where you aren't niggling at each other.

Give it a rest okay?

The Earl

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

"And this is of interest to authors of erotica why?"

Well, we were getting to that- you see, she fucks the cat!

Oh ye of little faith...

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Walter is now back in his own yard, chained to a water pipe. I hope the SOB runs away. MG

Just a pedantic reminder that for approximately 50% of all canines, that's a statement of fact, not an insult.

In his first ten minutes in my yard, Walter chased my cat off over the fence, ate all the cat's food, dug up my tuberous begonias, pissed on my treadmill, and had diarrhea all over my Astroturf welcome mat. MG

Doesn't sound like my Beagle at all. Of course, mine's a shy, some would say neurotic, lady type Beagel who hasn't used that much energy in the last two years. Maybe Walter was having a bad hair ball day.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[MlledeLaPlumeBleu]

Hey Rumple-

I know two Beagles at the dog park called Flash and Lightnin'. They are neither

In fact, their owner once told me that if you placed time lapse cameras all around the park, you'd see blurs everywhere except for where beagles were standing still and sniffing the air...

 

[MathGirl]

Good clean fun

Originally posted by TheEarl Give it a rest okay?
The Earl

Dear Earl,
Dr M and I are quite close friends. The fact that we have nothing in common and have opposite points of view on all subjects has nothing to do with it. We each reserve the right to snarl and claw at each other ad lib.
MG
Ps. I'd miss Dr M greatly if he wasn't around.
Pps. The term "greased lightning" seldom comes to mind when thinking of beagles. Except for Walter and his excretory functions, of course.

 

[bridgeburner]

Oh God. Will you two put down the handbags for a couple of minutes?

Sorry, just had to say that this gave me my first good laugh of the day!

Thanks!



--B

 

[MathGirl]

As long as it isn't from "The Pearl."

When I was about twelve, I found a very interesting book entitled "The Pearl" under my parents' bed. That one was definitely not written by John Steinbeck.

It was a collection of Victorian "erotica" that was wildly fascinating to a twelve year old.
MG
Ps. They also had "Autobiography of a Flea." Mom and Dad were real libertines in their younger days, I guess.

 

[Dirty Slut]

I only have a cat myself...

Wasn't there an episode with a dog in "The Autobiography of a Flea?" Perhaps that's where your annimosity stems froms. Read you story on how to become a erotic story writer, and I'm still laughing. Gave it a 5 for ingenuity.

DS

 

[karmadog]

I was just happy to find out that this thread wasn't directed at me.

PS I crap only in my own yard. Unless I feel the need to crap while I'm in my neighbor's yard.

PPS Perhaps you could feed Walter some cheese?

 

[Sultan Mad Cat]

Hmmm.......

My condolences Math Girrl...
I had a dog once upon a time.... but then he was a real braniac dog would bark all night ect ect....
now I have 3 count them 3 pussies not including the current girlfreind I suppose....
Linux Penguin, He's so cute ! Psycotic but cute!
9x, hrrm dunno about 9x he's just sorta fluffy
and Lucky Bet, she got rescued from the place where I work, couldn't have the sweetie gettin run over by a forklift or a pallet of synthetic rubber dropped on her that would have upset me and she really is a sweetie

 

[Guest]

My favorite and most beloved dog, when I was 9, was a German Shepherd named Lady. My brothers and I loved her to great distraction. When she was in heat the male dogs' attentions mostly through barking and lurking drove my mother to distraction so she got rid of her. Set me up, along with Catholicism, for thinking sex was evil. I'm over it but I do like thinking of the evil bits still and I credit Lady.

Lady Perdita

 

[Jenny _S]

Hmmmmm

I'm surprised there wasn't a leg-humping story in there somewhere... or did I miss it?

I just hate that.

 

[EarnestImp]

Re: Why I don't have a dog!

In his first ten minutes in my yard, Walter chased my cat off over the fence, ate all the cat's food, dug up my tuberous begonias, pissed on my treadmill, and had diarrhea all over my Astroturf welcome mat.

The diarrhea on the astroturf would never have happened if you hadn't fed him the bloody begonias.