why have sex with the lights off?

[acer144]

Don't know how many, if any, women here do this but I can't see the point of having sex with the light off. Does anyone here do that?
The only reason I can think of is that you are uncomfortable with your partner seeing your body, but how can you be comfortable enough to let them enter it, but not enough tolet them see it?
We make love in the light or in the dark?

If you are comfortable with yourself and your partner, you won't care if lights are on or off.

Women tend to forget sometimes that guys are very visual creatures and want to see you in the light.

 

[Gretchen]

I like the lights on

I like to have the room lit, but it has to be soft lighting. If this is a bedroom, I particularly appreciate lighting that can be controlled from the headboard or nightstand and you don't have to get up to adjust it or turn it off. I just do not like to have light directly in my eyes, especially overhead if I am in that position to see.

I enjoy seeing my partner and having him see me. I don't like to fumble around in the dark even though I have a good idea where to find everything!

 

[abiamarie]

Lights on, always

It has never occured to me or my partner to keep the lights off.
I don't know why people would do that. To make it less erotic and more romantic perhaps??? But I find that there is nothing romantic about making love to someone whose face (or any other body parts) you cannot even see.

 

[MercyMia]

Lights on

especially lots of candles

 

[sheath]

I am entirely comfortable with my partners, long before I sleep with them, so having lights on or off doesn't matter.

That said...there is something wonderful to be said about darkness. It isn't a comfort thing, not for me. For me, darkness heightens all the other senses. I have to use more touch to 'see' him. I am much more attuned to smells. Even the tastes are different. Besides that, there is the thrill of the unknown. If he moves away from the bed, WHY? What is he getting? What is he planning? I can't see, so I don't know. And that is incredibly exciting.

I guess it's the same principle as having my hands bound above my head. I cannot experience him through touching him with my hands, so I have to find other ways to do that. Taking away one sense heightens all the others...and used sparingly, that can enhance the experience.

S.

 

[Bandit58]

I had sex in the dark with my husband....so that I could feel like I wasn't there while he "got on with it". When you're made to feel guilty because you don't want to have sex with him so you do it to keep the peace (he would give me the silent treatment for days)......I would try to take myself away somewhere else.

With my lover......now that's totally different I'm shy.....but I'm getting over that fast I love to see him.....all of him, and the look in his eyes when he looks at me.....he loves to see me blush (and I do that a lot) but it's all GOOD......

 

[Noor]

I like sex in all lights or no light. I like sex with the lights off, lights on, candle lights, early morning light, twilight, full sun light, it all depends on my mood. I don't like light in my eyes though.

There can be several reasons why I would like sex in the dark.

I don't think men are always visual creatures by nature but by conditioning, I don't forget that many are. If my lover is a voyuer and exhibitionist, I might like to push him to somewhere else, of course all I really would need to do is blindfold him but some guys just don't like that.

Sex can be different in the dark, you need to be more careful of what you are doing, need to listen and feel more for feedback than rely on facial expression. You don't fumble, you caress.

Not seeing what is about to happen can be fun too.

Also I get distracted easily sometimes and shutting off outside stimulation such as lights helps me focus and allows me to get deeper into the sex.

As far as body image, if I am not comfortable enough for my lover to see my body then they will not be my lover. First times are always weird regardless but afterwards I expect to feel comfortable.
If some guy is critical of my body and makes me uncomfortable, he doesn't deserve to be in my life let alone my bed.

 

[Spenser41]

Many reasons why women do not have sex with the lights on is because they are ashamed they have gained weight or are overweight and it bothers them alot. Now if the men they are with are very loving and caring, shows them, that this does not matter, then they can handle it but not with regular lights. Soft lighting is what they like. We do candles and we have one off those fake trees from Walmart with clear mini lights on them. That adds a nice feeling as well. As women are ok with their bodies and their lovers they do not mind the lights or if they do it during the day. But women are very touchy about their bodies more then we men are. I mean was was the last time you asked your buddies, Hey, do these jeans make my butt look big? Right, you get my point. They are very very concerned about it and that is why the lights are not something they like. Also if you do missionary, you can see them, but all they see is shining lights in the eyes, so go for mood lighting. (How am I doing ladies?) LOL

 

[Noor]

That said...there is something wonderful to be said about darkness. It isn't a comfort thing, not for me. For me, darkness heightens all the other senses. I have to use more touch to 'see' him. I am much more attuned to smells. Even the tastes are different. Besides that, there is the thrill of the unknown. If he moves away from the bed, WHY? What is he getting? What is he planning? I can't see, so I don't know. And that is incredibly exciting.

S.

While I was writing "Not seeing what is about to happen can be fun too," you wrote the above.
Once again Sheath, you said it so much better than I.

Noor

 

[sheath]

If some guy is critical of my body and makes me uncomfortable, he doesn't deserve to be in my life let alone my bed.

Thank you, Noor!

But YOU hit the nail on the head with THIS line, dear.

You summed up the whole heart of the matter in one sentence!

S.

 

[Noor]

But women are very touchy about their bodies more then we men are. I mean was was the last time you asked your buddies, Hey, do these jeans make my butt look big? Right, you get my point. They are very very concerned about it and that is why the lights are not something they like. Also if you do missionary, you can see them, but all they see is shining lights in the eyes, so go for mood lighting. (How am I doing ladies?) LOL

How are you doing? Well, men can be pretty touchy about their bodies too. They may not ask other men for clothing analysis but I have noticed men worry a lot about their hair, their bellies, cock size, to name a few things and they seem to spend more time on their appearance than I or my women friends do.

When I do missionary all I see is the guy above me, as I am smaller than most of them, and when I am on top I can easily block their vision with my breasts Maybe that is why I like it so much

Noor

 

[SexyChele]

While there is probably a good deal of merit in the idea that some women like the lights off during sex because of body image (or, in the case of Bandit because they simply are not attracted to their partner), Sheath and Noor hit it spot on. I love all types of lighting (and trust me, I do not have the perfect body!), but I also like complete darkness on occasion. When you can't see, it affords the opportunity to truly caress your partner, run your fingers along their lips to see if they are smiling, explore their body fully, without distraction either with hands or lips or tongue. Also, because your partner can't see if you are pleased, it forces you to be more vocal, to let him/her know that you truly are enjoying what is happening, or express the need for something different.

As for the whole "men are visual" thing: men who are blind cannot "see" their partners, yet they still have active sexual lives and their partners still enjoy them. If the "men are visual so they have to see" concept were completely true, these men would never, ever have sex because they would never get aroused. Yes, men are probably more stimulated visually than women. But men have just as active imaginations as women, and whether it is full light or complete darkness, men are still capable of becoming aroused and getting off.

 

[Guest]

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

I wouldn't say totally in the dark but lots of candles is KEWL TOO!

 

[Needssome]

Bright lighting to me is just so unromantic and harsh in my eyes that it really takes the fun out of it. Soft lighting is what I prefer if light has to be involved. However, I have a tendency to close my eyes and the lighting doesn't matter. When it's dark and my eyes are closed I can feel my body and the ecstasy to a greater extent. The rest of the world disappears...it's just you and your lover...the bodily sensations take over...it's just your body and his (or hers as the case may be) and everything is heightened...it's a completely different experience than having the lights on and being more aware that there is a real other person there with you not a just a soul...

 

[lovechild27]

Lights off can be fun...you have to grop for each other in the dark...almost like being mutually blindfolded. Just adds another dimension to it.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

hmmm, it seems like I'm always having sex during the day. I like natural lighting, the sun pours right through my bedroom window in the afternoons and I like to keep the blinds open at least half. Sex in the sunlight - delicious!

 

[CuteJenn]

I have sex with the lights off. My bf always turns them off...I was thinking I might be getting a complex.

 

[Eagle70]

I'm a big fan of having SOME lights on...i dont like total dark, but candle's, or having the lights dim is awesome. I love seeing her face as I'm inside her...my hands in her hair...kissing and loving...its the best...why cut away one of your senses? adds to the pleasure so much more

 

[Valcorie]

Lights Off

I prefer the lights off or soft light. I am not ashamed of my body, and am very comfotable with my sexuality.My reason for prefering the lights off is to enjoy the sensations more. I don't get distracted and have a better orgasm that way. I can fully enjoy all of the taxtile stimulation and block out and visual stimulation with out the lights. For me it brings a heightened pleasure to the experiance.

I hope this give you another thought to ponder. I don't think the lights off is just for the timid.



valcorie

 

[ReadyOne]

We fuck with the lights off when we're too hot/lazy to light a candle.

We fuck with the lights on when we're too hot/lazy to turn them off.