Why does the cat always hack up furballs on my pillow and other tales of pet woe.

[KillerMuffin]

The stupid hussy did it again. Oooooooooooooooh I'm gonna kill her if I can just stay mad at her long enough. My nice clean, pristine white pillowcase is now covered with this nasty disgusting thing that looks like well, icky stuff.

As if that isn't bad enough, the stupid monochromatic wonder chihuahua thinks he can cruise the neighborhood unattended and tell everyone like it is. Yap yap yap. He antagonizes other, bigger, dogs for the hell of it. Doesn't he realize that he's less than a mouthfull to the doberman down the street? My son, helpful boy that he is, lets this stupid mutt out without the benefit of the leash. I think I've got that problem rectified. Now I just have to train Dad...

 

[Ambrosious]

As if that isn't bad enough, the stupid monochromatic wonder chihuahua thinks he can cruise the neighborhood unattended and tell everyone like it is. Yap yap yap. He antagonizes other, bigger, dogs for the hell of it. Doesn't he realize that he's less than a mouthfull to the doberman down the street?

Don't get me started. At least my two chihuahuas are bi colored, black and white. That is the ONLY difference I can see from here KM.

 

[forgetunome]

KillerMuffin...

Now you will know what the cats are thinking.

Secret Cat Diary:
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of
furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must
try this on their bed (again).

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck
between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

 

[Jay Leno]

Why don't you trade it in for a tortoise I hear they're all the rage this year.LOL

 

[Temptress_1960]

Too true - and too funny

OMG, that was great. I'm sure that's what my cats are thinking. Also, they lie in wait on the dark stairs, hoping to trip us up (two of them are black). I know it's all an evil plot.

They mesmerize us into staying in bed and sleeping. It's truly hypnotic.

And the kitten shreds all the toilet paper.

 

[teresafannin]

The cats are scheming to take over the world. My cat is the queen of tripping people up & I have the memories of broken toes to prove it. Love the diary, I know that my cat has one of those somewhere.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

I'd just feed the tiny dog.....

the fur balls.

Problem solved.

If you don't want to do that.....

Can you mail them to me? I'm making a new quilt for the winter.

 

[forgetunome]

Oh GAWD Sparky...

Not while I'm eating lunch!!! That was NOT a good visual!!!

 

[Silverlily]

The cats are scheming to take over the world.

Yes we are, hehehe



Actually my cats are pretty laid back, we rarely get presents. And of course they eat the plants, that's what they are there for. (Isn't that why you have plants?)

 

[Guest]

True story

 

[jcgirl]

ewwwwww

Probably the same reason why my dog waits until we're home, ive pulled into the driveway, opened the door for her and THEN she vomits all over my leather interior before happily jumping out. Damn that pisses me off!

 

[forgetunome]

Indy_dark...

OOOoh poor cat....poor you...OMG I just can't stop laughing!!!! I'm sorry I don't mean too....oh GAWD that's hilarious!!!