Why does it take a tragedy?

[KillerMuffin]

I was thinking over Blue's recent pain in his life, which led me to think of those close to me who've passed on.

My brother-in-law died in 1995, and it took his dying to bring parts of my StudMuffin's family together. They refused to speak to each other. I believe it was over a batch of Uncle Earl's shine of all things. That stuff can outstrip turpentine. After my brother passed away and the funeral, there were tears and hugs on both sides of the argument, and all was forgiven.

Why does it take a tragedy for us to face our own mortality and the things we'd like to accomplish? The trespasses we'd like to forgive? The mistakes we'd like to correct? Why does it take a tragedy for us to realize the important things in life? Why do we forget them so soon afterwards...

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Perspective. It's easy to lose it, particularly if you live a cloistered life, surrounded by the same things everyday, and pretend that you don't need to keep learning. Death tears down walls of complacency, putting existance back into perspective.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

So simply put, DCL and so true---

Oft times I will ask folks the difference between us and the folks in the cemetery. The answer is so very simple. They're dead and we are not.

Death has been a very defining event for me. It tells me that we are mortal and that our time is finite and subject to events beyond our control. So I try to "smell the roses" whenever I can.

Unfortunately, my brother chose this time to point out how he felt I had wronged him, in the past and during his recent crisis. At first, I was hurt and then realized that he was in pain and I let his remarks pass. No small feat, by the way, but necessary if I am to have any kind of relationship with him. And so it goes....

blue

 

[CreamyLady]

The masks are off. Most of the time we hide behind them, masking our what we really want to say, our anger, our hurt.

A tragedy or crisis pretty much rips the masks away, and there we are, starkers, everything on or very near the surface and with no defenses.

It is a time of great truth. The truth, being subjective and so much harder to bear than simple fact, requires a great deal of grace and forebearance to handle, and this is when my faith in humanity is reaffirmed. Most of us will be graceful and let a hurtful remark, made from a place of pain, fear and anger, pass.

 

[Melody_lane]

I was thinking about this just yesterday...being faced with my own mortality, after my neurologist suggested the possibility of a brain tumor(that's possibility, not probability). After doing the whole little sob bit, I thought about what I would do differently if it so happened that I only had a limited amount of time left to live. In a way, I was kinda glad that I could say that there would be only one thing on my list that I would not delay in doing. It made me happy because I realized that I am not taking life for granted. I'm making choices and having experiences that give my life some worth-if only to myself.
It may be morbid, but I'm actually even thankful for being given this experience. You can find profound positive meaning in anything-good or bad. It's sad that some people don't realize that...and that some realize it too late. Hopefully, once this all passes(and I'm optimistic that it will) I won't soon forget what I have learned and I will still be able to say 1, 2, 5, and 10 years from now that I have no regrets!