Why do women . . .

[Todd]

. . . like being treated like trash?

It was a beautiful day here to day so I was sitting out on the deck watching the people walk by, husbands/wives, boyfriend/girlfriends, etc. and from what I could see the gals old and young were not happy unless the guy was snacking them, hollaring at them, or crunching thier arms harshly.

Don't any women like being treated like a human, an equal? Talked to in a caring way.

 

[Isolde]

Be treated equal to men? Now, hun, why would I want to take a step down like that?

 

[Todd]

Be treated equal to men? Now, hun, why would I want to take a step down like that?

So being beaten and yelled at is being is a step up from being a man? ok fair enough

 

[willfulbrat]

There a lot of reasons why a woman stays with a man who doesn't treat her well. Generally, she doesn't know in the beginning what she's getting into, and by the time she realizes what kind of man she's with she's too emotionally involved to let go easily.

For the most part, women do NOT want to be treated like trash! But we do want to feel feminine and protected and cared for. A man who is masterful and can take charge of a situation is different from a control freak or an abuser. And while I admire a man who puts his foot down at the right time, too much of that is repulsive.

 

[Guest]

I don't think anyone likes being treated that way. But some guys are very deceptive.... they shower you with affection and treat you like a queen for the first few weeks... and then slowly it starts... they somehow convince you that you are shit... and that no one else would ever want you..... you are ugly.... and not worth anything to anyone... so you start to think that maybe this is it... this is the best you will ever be able to get...

and thats why some women stay with assholes...

but then there are others who see them for the weak pussies that they are.

 

[Mischka]

Don't any women like being treated like a human, an equal?

No, Todd, we all prefer being treated like inferior objects. Pieces of meat, if you will. Yup, all women just adore being man-handled by macho jerks. Makes us swoon.

 

[Angel]

Of course we do.

Well. I do. And I demand it too, or I walk.


You know it was hard to get to that point, Todd.
I had a very long awkward phase and was teased mercilessly. Shit I didn't even notice when I grew out of it, but for the longest time I didn't believe a guy was being honest when he tried to talk to me. So I always ended up with the guy that treated me like crap because I still felt like an ugly duckling. When guys were nice to me, I thought they were just trying to be nice.



My best friend is a guy. I've known him since we were 5. He was forever teasing me as well through my awkward phase, although he was always there to defend me to other people. As we got older and matured his teasing stopped and he was my rock and my shoulder. He would constantly bitch me out about the latest asshole I was dating but he would let me make my own mistakes. I could always trust him to be honest. One day he took me out to a club and pointed out to me the stares from the male population. Then he sat me down and told me that I was a beautiful girl, pointed out to me all of the reasons he loved me as a friend, all of the qualities I had and told me THAT was what made me a beautiful person to be around. Slapped me up'side the head with a clue by four. Don't get me wrong, I don't think of myself as every man's dream. I'm not drop dead gorgeous. But I know that I am not an piece of shit either.

My self esteem is no longer based upon what a male thinks of me. It's based on the fact that I am proud of who I am and my accomplishments. It's not easy all the time, and I have a relapse once in awhile into self-hate mode, but more and more I grow out of it.

And at the least, I steer clear of the assholes now.

 

[Isolde]

Be treated equal to men? Now, hun, why would I want to take a step down like that?

So being beaten and yelled at is being is a step up from being a man? ok fair enough

*Shakes head and sighs* Sorry, the humor didnt come out in that post very well. It was a joke.

 

[Mischka]

Isolde, your joke was apparent and appreciated.

 

[Todd]

The Only reason I ask is cause i find that I am a nice guy, I don't have a mean bone in my body, I can't stay angry anymore than about 15 seconds then I start laughing at myself.

I was really hoping that I didn't need to become a complete and total asshole to be a hit with the women by hitting the women physically.

I just have so very rarely seen any guy/girl combos when I watch people where the woman is not being used/abused and loving it.

 

[Mischka]

Todd, where are you hanging out?! I have only rarely come across dysfunctional relationships like the ones you describe. Most people I know that are in relationships are healthy, happy people that treat each other well.

 

[Cheyenne]

Todd, where are you hanging out?!

Just what I was going to ask! You need a change.

 

[Blackbich]

Todd Honey,

The women you're talking about in your thread are women who, like willfulbrat and jadedpast said, have been mentally beaten down to the point where they think they aren't worthy of someone who'll treat them right. Maybe they've come from an abusive home; studies have shown that women who were abused or witnessed abuse as children will migrate towards abusive men. It's a cycle they just can't seem to break. Or they have low self esteem and are happy that ANY man would want to be with her so she's willing to take whatever he dishes out. Or the couple have been in a relationship for awhile when it finally begins to erupt and the woman doesn't want to have to search for someone new. I know alot of women who stay with abusive men because they don't want to be alone and they figure someone rotten is better than no one.

There's absolutely no excuse for people raising their hands towards one another for ANY reason.

Not all relationships are like that though so Dr. Blackbich suggests you find somewhere else to hang out so you can get this crazy idea out of your head.

 

[Problem Child]

Todd, where are you hanging out?! I have only rarely come across dysfunctional relationships like the ones you describe. Most people I know that are in relationships are healthy, happy people that treat each other well.

Canada.

 

[Weevil]

See in Canada us mens know how to treat our wimmins that done get outta line.

Seriously, It must be said though that Todd lives in the Maritimes where everything is fooked up.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Problem Child, I love your sig line!

Todd, I'm sure you must be over-generalizing again.
Sitting on your deck, I bet you saw one guy smack one girl, somehow assumed she liked it and then applied it to the entire female gender.

I guess you figure she liked it because she's still with a guy like that? The others have done a good job of explaining abusive relationships, so I won't try to.

This is another form of the "nice guys finish last" lament. It's not always true. Really. Hang in there. You'll find someone to love and to love you back eventually.

 

[cymbidia]

Todd, where are you hanging out?! I have only rarely come across dysfunctional relationships like the ones you describe. Most people I know that are in relationships are healthy, happy people that treat each other well.

Yeh. What she said.

Additionally, as we mature, most of us come to expect to be treated with dignity and respect since that's how we treat other people. Juveniles (of whatever chronological age) hit each other as a mark of being the top dog; grown-ups don't. (Okay, okay... yeh, you're right... *some* of us hit others of us but that's for fun and good orgasms and isn't what is being discussed here and now. That's a different thread, that BDSM thread. http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/otn/glasses/icon20.gif)

 

[Renegade]

Todd's from Canada. Nuff said.

 

[Mistress]

I use to be in one of those relationships...I was basically there for his own amusment, and the funny thing is I still loved him even if he didnt love me. Then I have been in many abusive relationships, it wont happen any more. As I have said here before, if another man raises his hand to me without a good reason I'll kill him. Smiles

 

[Mensa]

OH! MY GOD!!

. . . like being treated like trash?

and from what I could see the gals old and young were not happy unless the guy was snacking them

Snacking them??? I have to tell you that I highly disapprove of cannibalism!!

 

[Renegade]

Quite Simply

LMAO

 

[Todd]

Problem Child, I love your sig line!

Todd, I'm sure you must be over-generalizing again.
Sitting on your deck, I bet you saw one guy smack one girl, somehow assumed she liked it and then applied it to the entire female gender.

I guess you figure she liked it because she's still with a guy like that? The others have done a good job of explaining abusive relationships, so I won't try to.

This is another form of the "nice guys finish last" lament. It's not always true. Really. Hang in there. You'll find someone to love and to love you back eventually.

No I didn't see one guy hit his woman, I sat out for about 2 hours must have seen 30 couples walk by in that time and about 25 of them the man was either physically berateding his woman, or even worse verbally berateing her loud enough that I could hear from abour 750 feet away and elevated up to the 3rd floor.

 

[Todd]

Seriously, It must be said though that Todd lives in the Maritimes where everything is fooked up.

You got that right. from Treatment of women to taxes to mimimum wage to wlefare to health care to just about anything its all "fooked" up

 

[Beebeeblue]

My self esteem is no longer based upon what a male thinks of me. It's based on the fact that I am proud of who I am and my accomplishments. It's not easy all the time, and I have a relapse once in awhile into self-hate mode, but more and more I grow out of it.

And at the least, I steer clear of the assholes now.

*applauds* You go girl.

Todd, its not that some enjoy punishment or the berating that they receive. Its all they know. Some are raised in an abusive environment, and thats love to them. I wish I could put this into better words for you. But its all I can come up with right now.