Why do so many...(writerly)

[Katyusha]

...seem to think physical descriptions MUST include full measurements in inches/cm/cup size/etc.? I'm genuinely curious because that's something I've never understood.

 

[Bebeslut]

There's lots of things I don't understand, such as why people don't seem to understand pronoun agreement.

 

[WarmMilk]

It irks me as well, especially when the measurements don't make any sense. It always makes me stop when a writer includes something like, "she was 5'7'', 100lbs" and then some large breast size. If you're that tall and 100lbs, I don't want to be having sex with you, 34DD or not.

But yeah, I usually gloss over numbers. I'd rather have a bit of a braod physical description versus a list of measurements.

 

[jomar]

Hard to say Kat, but when get my horn on and I'm busting out of my 501s and long for a slim hipped, one-half inch nippled 32b tittied, 105 lb, babe to sink my big, thick 8 incher into a sweet hot, wet, shaved one while I bite, nibble and chew on those sweet nips as I pin her legs to the bed and grind and slap my hips against those amazing thighs, I sort of understand the authors who tell rather than show.

 

[Weird Harold]

...seem to think physical descriptions MUST include full measurements in inches/cm/cup size/etc.? I'm genuinely curious because that's something I've never understood.

Or contain a comparison to some b-list celebrity that I've never heard of.

Seriously, Wanted Poster descriptions are just one symptom of a writer over-controlling the story. They are often found in stories that also contain a lot of "as she..., I..., then I..." sort of sentence structures, with lots of next, eventually, "a few minutes later," and Finally, qualifiers.

It stems from the misconception that readers won't see exactly what the author imagined without over-precise detail.

 

[Weird Harold]

It irks me as well, especially when the measurements don't make any sense. It always makes me stop when a writer includes something like, "she was 5'7'', 100lbs" and then some large breast size. If you're that tall and 100lbs, I don't want to be having sex with you, 34DD or not.

But yeah, I usually gloss over numbers. I'd rather have a bit of a braod physical description versus a list of measurements.

5'7", 100# and 34DD would be a bit like trying to balance a tootsie pop on its stick, wouldn't it?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Or contain a comparison to some b-list celebrity that I've never heard of.

Seriously, Wanted Poster descriptions are just one symptom of a writer over-controlling the story. They are often found in stories that also contain a lot of "as she..., I..., then I..." sort of sentence structures, with lots of next, eventually, "a few minutes later," and Finally, qualifiers.

It stems from the misconception that readers won't see exactly what the author imagined without over-precise detail.

Well, in the 'hints to authors' it recommends that you do that. So I did in my first couple of stories. Then Jen bawled me out for it so I stopped. I think the last time I used anything resembling physical description was 'well-filled sweater'.

 

[TE999]

A detailed description of a woman's measurements in a story makes me think of either a clothing catalog or a dress pattern...a brief description will suffice...let the reader use his/her imagination.

Who cares about the size of a guys pecker either. Besides it ain't how much you got, it's what you do with what you have that counts.

 

[WarmMilk]

5'7", 100# and 34DD would be a bit like trying to balance a tootsie pop on its stick, wouldn't it?

Hee, and I think I'd pass on finding out how many licks it'd take to get to the center of that mess.

 

[sr71plt]

Presumably they do that because they themselves like to read that in a story. Different 9-inch strokes for different 36D cup folks. If you don't want to either write or read that, you certainly have the option to opt out of doing so.

 

[Weird Harold]

Well, in the 'hints to authors' it recommends that you do that. So I did in my first couple of stories. Then Jen bawled me out for it so I stopped. I think the last time I used anything resembling physical description was 'well-filled sweater'.

One of my very earliest editor/mentors in the fine art of writing porn told me to, "quit insulting the intelligence of the readers."

I think every beginning writer goes through an over-controlling phase, and amateur writers of porn are predominantly beginning writers. The good ones usually grow out of it.

 

[Boxlicker101]

About the only time I would use such precise figures would be when somebody is reading an ad on a swingers' site. They incljude them as part of such ads, so it would be reasonable to mention the actual statistics.

Conceivably, I could have a story that involved some men literally measuring their cocks for comparison. I have never done so, and probably never will, but I might. A couple times I have mentioned a voyeuristic kind of man reading the size of a woman's bra, but this is not something I do very often.

 

[sr71plt]

I haven't done much, as I recall, but if I had a character who was obsessed by measurements and mentioned them a lot--and there is a stereotype character that would do just that--I'd feel free to include them in his (probably a he) dialogue.

Primary, though, each time this comes up I think "busybody." It's a high capacity site. Why is it necessary for anyone to worry about what someone else enjoys writing or reading about here?

 

[Boxlicker101]

I haven't done much, as I recall, but if I had a character who was obsessed by measurements and mentioned them a lot--and there is a stereotype character that would do just that--I'd feel free to include them in his (probably a he) dialogue.

Primary, though, each time this comes up I think "busybody." It's a high capacity site. Why is it necessary for anyone to worry about what someone else enjoys writing or reading about here?

If an author wants to include such precise measurements, he or she has a peerfect right to do so. However, this thread is, among other things, a place where suggestions are made as to how somebody might improve writing skills, and this thread is about one of the ways.

 

[sr71plt]

If an author wants to include such precise measurements, he or she has a peerfect right to do so. However, this thread is, among other things, a place where suggestions are made as to how somebody might improve writing skills, and this thread is about one of the ways.

To a reader who wants to fantasize on measurements (and such folks exist) such a suggestion to write "like everyone else does" wouldn't be an improvement.

Again, the image of "busybody" comes to mind.

Most of the folks here telling others how to write aren't master writers themselves--the ones most active doing this haven't posted much here and/or haven't done it in a long time. If they can write so much better, perhaps they should just "show" it rather than "tell" it.

 

[oggbashan]

Almost all numbered dimensions and particularly clothing sizes are a turn-off for me.

If they are numbers of pounds and inches then many readers think in kilos and centimetres.

100lb, 200lb doesn't convey much to me. I have to convert to stones (14lb) so 100lb is about 7 stone, 200lb about 14 stone and therefore the 100lb woman is lightweight for an adult female, and the 200lb man is too light to be a rugby forward but might be a footballer. But I had to work that out so my interest in the story has stalled.

Dress sizes are awkward. US dress sizes need conversions for UK and European readers.

UK dress sizes have changed over time. A size 16 woman in the 1960s would be heavier built than a size 16 in the 1980s, and about the same as a size 16 woman in the 1990s and might be smaller than a size 16 in the 2000s, or not - depending on the manufacturer. The UK rag trade has had a persistent bad habit for years. If they are asked to make 100 garments, 40 of size 12, 30 of size 14 and 30 of size 16 and they find they've got too many of one size - they'll just label to get the right mix so an item marked size 14 might actually be a 12 or a 16 - in that manufacturer's range.

Vintage clothing sizing is a nightmare. If a woman sees a skirt labelled 14 and she knows she's a size 16, that skirt might fit her or might be too small or too large. She'd have to measure it or try it on.

Then there is 'vanity' labelling particularly for fashion wear. The makers know that some women want to think that they are slimmer than they really are, so the labels are always understated. A party dress labelled 14 would fit a woman who is 16 or 18.

Only the larger UK sizes are anywhere close to accuracy. A skirt sized 24 would fit a rugby forward weighing 250lbs.

So, please avoid numbered dimensions. Apart from being a turn-off, the sizes need translation for readers who are not familiar with US size conventions or think metric.

Og

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'm reviewing a book (memoir) with lotsa sex in it, and there's minimal physical decription. About the most the author provides is hair color, eye color, remarkable smells and scents, and remarkable attire. The description never hijacks the action or feelings of the actors.

 

[SweetestThing]

I can't pretend that it's something that will work for everyone but I do think that it's something that has its place. I'm probably guilty of it from time to time but I do my best to work it into a story organically.

I'm short, around 5'4 or so, and if I just say a man is tall or significantly taller than me it can mean all manner of things, a height range of 5'10 to 7'6 and everywhere in between. If I ask a friend, for instance, how tall a guy is she's not going to try and describe how tall he is, he/she will tell me. In numbers. That's how people talk, at least in my corner of the world. And, correspondingly, it's how I kind of think. If my characters don't also think like that, it doesn't feel natural to me.

I don't want to read a wanted poster or a police description but I also don't want to read "A man and a woman had sex. Use your imagination."

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I love when they get the measurements so wrong so as to be impossible, like the one time I read about 18" diameter aureoles.

 

[driphoney]

I can't pretend that it's something that will work for everyone but I do think that it's something that has its place. I'm probably guilty of it from time to time but I do my best to work it into a story organically.

I'm short, around 5'4 or so, and if I just say a man is tall or significantly taller than me it can mean all manner of things, a height range of 5'10 to 7'6 and everywhere in between. If I ask a friend, for instance, how tall a guy is she's not going to try and describe how tall he is, he/she will tell me. In numbers. That's how people talk, at least in my corner of the world. And, correspondingly, it's how I kind of think. If my characters don't also think like that, it doesn't feel natural to me.

I don't want to read a wanted poster or a police description but I also don't want to read "A man and a woman had sex. Use your imagination."

Is it important for the reader to know exactly what the writer has in mind for short or tall? Even though we do talk in specifics when talking to a friend about another person, unless it is a police scenario, that type of minutiae in a story conversation can slow the action down since the convo needs to attempt to move the story along or provide some significant mood or emotion. I'm not necessarily capable of doing it, but I love when a writer reveals for me the delicious essence of a character, the highlights sprinkled through the story on which my mind can creatively develop and bond with the characters without even realizing that's happening.

 

[oggbashan]

...

I'm short, around 5'4 or so, and if I just say a man is tall or significantly taller than me it can mean all manner of things, a height range of 5'10 to 7'6 and everywhere in between. ..."

If a woman is very short and the man she is with is very tall (or the other way around), they are likely to get the measurements wrong. If you have to look up a long way, the difference between 5'10" and 6'3" is difficult to estimate. Looking down, the difference between 4'11" and 5'3" is also difficult.

"Just as high as my heart" is a better description than "She fits under my armpit".

Or "My eyes were level with her cleavage" is probably better than "Her nipples poked my eyes shut."

Og

 

[mynameisben]

I love when they get the measurements so wrong so as to be impossible, like the one time I read about 18" diameter aureoles.

Are you sure you weren't reading the menu at Michaelangelo's Pizza? I had an 18" pepperoni there just last night. It sported some two dozen areolae, about 1" in diameter each. The waitress looked at me askance as I drew one slowly into my mouth, but I tip well.

 

[FallingToFly]

I have a piece, somewhere, titled "Something to Talk About." It's basically a hen session of girls out for the night, talking and bragging about their boyfriends and what they're packing. Very graphic, very detailed, lots of measurements. That's the only way I've ever found to make the numerics work for me.

 

[SweetestThing]

Is it important for the reader to know exactly what the writer has in mind for short or tall?

It's up to you what you find important or not I suppose. To my mind? Yeah, I'd like to know what the people actually look like. Does it slow the story down? I don't think so. I think, if anything, it actually speeds things up. Saying "6'6" is just as fast as saying "tall" really. And, either way, I'm not in a hurry.

But like I said the most important thing for me is realism. If my characters don't think the way people actually think then I have less of a grip on them.

 

[SweetestThing]

If a woman is very short and the man she is with is very tall (or the other way around), they are likely to get the measurements wrong. If you have to look up a long way, the difference between 5'10" and 6'3" is difficult to estimate. Looking down, the difference between 4'11" and 5'3" is also difficult.
.

Well, they're likely to get the measurements wrong if they're making their estimations while in each other's arms. I'd like I'm reasonably good at judging, from any kind of distance, around how tall someone is.