Mallory69
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- May 1, 2004
- Posts
- 385
This story will take some time in tell so please bear with me.
About 8 or 9 years ago I happened to meet someone new and exciting who totally rocked my world. She and I became friends (just friends) even though I had hoped that it could develop into something deeper and more meaningful.
A mutual friend of ours told me at the time not to get my hopes up because she was pretty much asexual and not a very affectionate person. I figured that I could accept that.
The friend that introduced me to her (not the one I mentioned above, but his girlfriend) asked me if it was alright to tell her about me and the fact that I am a crossdresser to which I consented. This new friend was not only accepting, she thought that it was a really cool thing because she liked guys who were different and wore makeup. I was thrilled.
I was also excited by being her very presence. I'd get all tingly inside whenever she was near. Since she lived an alternative lifestyle herself by dying her hair a nice dark green, which looked absolutely terrific against her dark skin (She's Metis {pronounced " May- Tea}) only added to the excitement I felt . Not horny but in an 'in love' kind of way
One time she and the friend that introduced us to one another came over to help with my makeup and teach me how to look my best and most convincing,-- I was in heaven-- and then we went out to the only bar in town that caters to people with alternative lifestyles.
Time passed, we'd hang out together, we'd go out to a little cafe once a week for poetry nights where anyone could recite their own work or that of their favourite author. One night I ended up going alone but I spotted her passing by and accompanied her to the alternative bar as my male self. I didn't care so long as I was with her. I was very much in love. She'd been drinking quite a bit that night and when I told her that I needed to go home because it was getting late and had to go to work in the morning she gave me this warm wonderful hug ran her fingers through my hair and whispered "I love your hair, it's so nice and long and soft, for Mallory" I felt like I was on a cloud. You know that feeling you get when you first fall in love? You get all tingly inside , your heart beats faster, your pulse races and so on. I got home and immediately wrote a poem about her because I was so inspired like I had never been inspired before. I just couldn't stop writing (I'll post it later)
About a week or so later she told me that she didn't want to hug me ever again because I didn't want to seem to let go. Hell no I didn't want to let go it was the most intense, beautiful, wonderful feeling I had ever had and didn't want to end. I never felt more happy or more loved. She told me that it was her opinion that needing a hug was a sign of weakness.
As time passed. we'd hang out together with me in either form and we'd always have agood time. We'd go to karaoke with just the two of us or as a larger crowd. (Yes I can sing quite well) and she'd always give me words of encouragement especially when we'd hear others going up and totally killing a song. She even suggested that I could do a better job singing the Olivia Newton John part of "Summer Nights" when she'd hear me sing along.
She got quite upset with me one time when we were having a discussion about something and I asked her to "hold that thought for a second" because there was a song being played which I hadn't heard in years and was interested to know what a few of the words were that I just could never make out on my own. (I'm sure everyone of us has had that happen)
She accused me of not paying attention to her and yet, one time when we were out we were having a conversation when one of her friends came along totally interrupted what we were talking about without so much as an "excuse me" and they spent the next 10 minutes or so chatting. I must admit that I was hurt and somewhat offended. I even asked, politely, if we could continue what we were discussing before it became stale or I lost my train of thought. She was offended by this and told me that I had been rude to her friend.
(I told you this would take some time in telling)
One time when we were out for halloween, I was dressed as a cat and we were at this dance where I met another 'girl' like myself and my friend encouraged me to get to know her better and maybe even go home with her.
As time passed we spent more and more time together. She told me one time that she was very angry with our friend (the one who brought us together) because they were to have gone on a trip to Toronto together but had left a day early without her. I later learned that our friend had to make a quick decision that day because her ride showed up a day early and it was one of those "now or never" scenarios. Try as she might there was no way to get the message to her that this was happening. I tried to explain this to which she accused me of taking sides and called me a traitor.
As time psssed things had calmed down and a couple of friends from her hometown moved to our city and they roomed together. Well things didn't work out as planned and I'd get to hear from either her or them about the conflicts that they were experiencing (never at the same time) I'd listen but never get involved except to suggest that they have an open discussion about what was bothering them before it festered into a loathing of each other. After all, they'd been friends since early childhood and it would be a terrible thing to let petty squabbles destroy what took a lifetime to build.
During the time they lived together she invited me over so that we could all go out together with me in my Mallory persona. She even delighted in doing the finishing touches of my makeup and telling me how much I had improved since her lessons. Again I felt like I was in heaven. We even took a number of pictures of me and group shots.
Unfortunately, things didn't work out between them and she moved out without telling them.
Time passed, I'd visit her at her new place, we'd go out and then one day she told me that she was moving to Toronto so she could attend college.
Before she moved, she asked me to take her cat because she was planning on living on residence and that since the cat was overly affectionate we'd be perfect for each other.
During her absence we'd often exchange emails and chat in various chatrooms with me as Mallory and her pretending to be a male. She even had me intervene when one time this one girl she was chatting with wouldn't leave her alone. I, on the other hand, was always upfront with the girls I was chatting with when I 'd PM them and tell them about my true identity and see if they were still interested in continuing the chat. Then it happened, I lost all contact with her.
Months passed. Nothing. I'd run a search in the chats under all the names she'd used and in all the rooms we'd been in. Nothing. I'd check my emails. Still nothing. It was as if she'd suddenly fell off the planet.
One day as I was making supper I heard a knock at my door and it was her mother's boyfriend who happened to be in town from their hometown some 700 miles away and asked me If I had heard anything from her. I told him that I had not and was wondering what might have happened. He told me that, against her mother's wishes and fears, she went to Florida or somewhere in the U.S. to meet someone she'd met online and they hadn't heard from her since. I was very concerned because I thought she might have met with her fate because she would represent herself as a man in the chats and maybe she mislead some woman into beliveving that she was meeting such a person. I truly thought that she had been killed.
2 years would pass before I saw her again. She showed up at my workplace with, her mother and her boyfriend, and her brothers. Can you imagine how overjoyed I was to see her again? I gave her a big hug and told her how glad I was to see that she was alive and well which kind of threw her for a loop because she didn't understand my statement. I explained my concerns to her and how her mother's boyfriend had come to visit me and share his concerns as well as those of her mother. She was a bit upset at this because she felt that it was nobody's business where whe went or what she had been up to. She did confide in me that she had indeed gone to meet a woman whom she had fallen in love with and had been quite intimate with. She also pointed out that she had gained weight during her absence, which I had noticed but didn't really care about only the fact that I could hold her arms once again and know that she was alive. When I saw her that day, she was emulating a wrestler she was a fan of in the underground,no holds barred, wrestling circuit, She wore these thick rimmed glasses with a piece of masking tape in the middle. I didn't care even though she asked me if I didnt think she looked kind of 'nerdy'.
We rekindled our friendship and picked up pretty much where we had left off by going out to either the karaoke bar or the other one when she would ask me if I would like to go out in my Mallory form.
As time passed we did more things together, we'd exchange christmas gifts and cards, I'd give her seat rides on my bicycle even though it was in rough shape and I was worried about the added weight on the chain and drive crank ( the little axle that connects the pedals) at the same time though I didn't care to much because I was having so much fun and felt a special bond with her doing this. I even sang a small portion from the "Laverne and Shirley" theme one time while doing this to which she commented "Oh I love that show"
One time when we were at karaoke we saw this one guy that was a regular he looks like a chimpanzee and sounds like kermiit the frog when he sings (His nickname among my other circle of friends) she told me ' Go up to that guy and tell him I like him" "I'm not going to do that" I told her I'm hurt and offended that you would ask me to do that"
That night after returning from karaoke she asked me if I'd like to sleep in her bed with her because it had more room than her love seats in her living room. I eagerly said yes but didn't try anything because she had been drinking heavily that night and didn't want to take a chance at misinterpreting her hospitality. I also didn't want to chance a charge of aquiantence rape. I'd much rather hear something more direct from her (or anyone for that matter) when her head was more clear and focused.
Imagine my shock when she told me one night after yet another karaoke session, how a man she had met online came to visit her and she made him the same offer and he told her that he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself if he slept with her, and she consented? She also told me that afterwards they had gone to the hospital to get a morning after pill so she wouldn't get pregnant.
She saw the look on my face and asked me what was bothering me so I told her how upset I ws at what she had just told me, especially when she knew how I felt about her. She told me that we were just friends and I had to learn to accept that there would be nothing more between us than that.
Time passed
I helped her to move to a larger apartment in the same building she was in. The apartment she moved into was a disaster to say the least. The fridge was a total mess, it and the stove and oven looked like it hadn't been cleaned in years. So I went to the store got a bunch of cleaning supplys, (J cloths, rubber gloves Mr clean etc) and went about to get these things cleaned for her. The other guy she had helping was totally useless, He outweighed me by at least 60# and couldn't even get the loveseat up a single flight of stairs without running out of breath or strength. He dared question MY ability to do things?
Eventually she managed to get through to him that she had no interest in him other than his assistance after he tried to show his interest in her. She wanted to sand and repaint her cupboards and kitchen drawers so I bought a small can of paint, some sanding accessories which I could fit into my power drill and helped her to the refinishing job. It wasn't cheap but I didn't care because her landlady told us to keep the receipts because she could pay me back and write it off in her taxes as building maintenance since we saved her the cost of hiring someone to do what need to be done anyway.
The ironic thing about all of this was that whenever I was short a few bucks for something, say like if we'd go to burger king or something and I'd ask her if she could spare the change she'd get upset with me even though I'd pay her back each time, say nothing of the many times when we'd go out and she'd want just one more beer and would ask if I could pay for it. I would do so without any hesitation or asking for any repayment.
Many times she would call me and ask me to come to her aid for one thing or another. She was experiencing severe menstural cramps and asked me if I had anything for the pain. The night this happened I had just gotten out of the shower and was ready to have my supper. I quickly dried myself and my hair as best as I could with a towel, wolfed down my food, found some advil or something like that and rushe over on my bike. It had begun to snow. I didn't care. My only concern was that she was hurting and needed my help. I made a makshift heating pad for her by boiling some water and pouring it over a towel and placing it in a couple of milk bags which I wrapped in another towel so she would not get burned as she applied it to her body. Another time she asked me to come with her to a friend's place to see if she had left her hat there explaining that if she went alone they'd insist on her drinking with them and she wasn't in the mood for it that night. I dropped what I was doing and rushed over.. The next thing you know we're at a bar drinking until the place closed, The place was a dive.
The following summer (last year) I was on my vacation from work and we went to a summer festival. As we approached the area in which it was being held there was a waterskiing demonstration and the announcer commented about the spectacular watersports display. My friend looked over at me and began to laugh as she told me that she could think of another meaning for "watersports". I was quite intrigued and even a bit excited by this comment. Later on when we were using the porta pottys she was in the one right beside me and teased me by saying "I can hear you peeing"
This only got me even more excited.
While we were there, we ran into a friend of mine and I introduced them to one another. He asked me if she was my girlfriend and I told him tht no, we were 'just friends'. This guy being somewhat of a joker asked "but she is a girl?" "yeah, but we're 'just friends', less complicated that way" Boy was she ever pissed off at me for saying that. Now what am I supposed to think at this time? Later on that evening she suggested that I gather a bunch of my clothes together and we could do a photo shoot. I was thrilled. Since she only had a few pictures left on the film in the camera, went and bought 2 more rolls. We only used one,
We also rented a bunch of movies that week and I helped her to set up her two vcr's so she could make a copy of some for herself.
Sometimes when we were together I could see her secretly playing with herself while we watched a movie. We weren't watching anything erotic. I suppose she was just feeling kinda horny. How I wished I could have gone down on her and made her feel even more satisfied or at the very least have a taste from her fingers
As time passed we would do more things together. I'd buy her little tokens of my affection, I'd visit her and bring her chocolates which I knew she loved even though she told me tht she relly shouldn't eat because it would make her fat. I told her that it would only make her all the more to love. I'd often compliment on her artistic skills and her ability to draw and create. She is quitean accomplished artist I certainly can't draw like that I can barely draw a straight line. One night we were having a discussion about this and that and she mentioned how she liked elephants. The next day or so I bought her this cute little stuffed elephant as another token of my affection
(this story is almost over please read on)
We would go clothing shopping together. I gave her a bunch of money one time and asked her to pay for the skirts I wanted and she could pick out a few items for herself as well.
We went to a second hand store before Halloween and they had all kinds of costumes and accessories there including a mini riding crop which resembled a cat-o nine tails which she pulled over her hand and commented how she could see how someone might enjoy something like that. Hell if I had had enough money I would have bought the thing. I was excited at the concept of us having some kinky exotic fun together especially if we could combine it with my dressing up in something naughty or sexy. Over a period of time I bought her this halloween costume, a mesh, fishnet like cloak with a hood on it because I knew it was something that fit her style and mindset. It cost me $25.00
Then something happened I don't know what. We went out one night after I had helped her do some more refinishing and we got into some kind of an argument of sorts. I was telling her of a near death experience I had and she started to tell me about a similar experience she had before I could tell the rest of my story. I let her finish and tried to get back to my story at which point she told me that I had been rude to her and interrupted. She also told me tht I was "self "absorbed" she also decided then and there to point out some of my other "flaws" and felt she had the right to do so because she was my friend. During the evening she told me that she wasn't sure if she wanted to continue seeing the man she met online (the one she slept with) because he was a prison guard and might be a control freak. I told her that as a rule, it is what people in that profession are required to be. Later on she told me that I didn't know how to read body language and that sometimes I should try to be more aggressive. That sometimes I should take that 'bull by the horns and take control' I told her that I did not like the whole body language thing because it can be so easily misinterpreted and that I need to hear the words to be sure. I then told her of a relationship I had 20 years ago with this one woman who told me thet she didn't believe in premarital sex and how I respected her boundaries. I told her how surprised I was when after we broke up she was living with a man and she was on the pill and how it came to be that this could happen, She told me that had I been more forceful she would have given in. To this my friend said "See that's what I'm talking about" (well excuse me that's just a bunch of bullshit. that's rape in my book. to me "NO" means "NO") I then asked her what would have happened if I had been more aggressive the night she asked me to join her in her bed and made the same comment her friend fro Mississauga made the night he slept with her. She told me that she would have thrown me out. So there you go! She then asked me what was the deal of a dildo I had bought for myself. (she learned of this during her disappearing act when she lost my email address and executed a search for me and found a posting I had made about it regarding my reaction to it and if anyone else had a similar reaction) She also knew that I'm somewhat impotent and infertile
(boy talk about your triple whammys [I'm also not very well endowed but I frankly don't care about that]) She went on to tell me that women like men who are men and if asked me if I didn't think the my being Mallory wasn't destroying my life. "Besides", she said, you told me that you're infertile and impotent, I want to have children some day and you can't give me any. I'm not getting any younger you know." And yet earlier that evening, we ran into someone I used to work with and his wife who told us that she couldn't bear any children so my friend told her that there was always the option to adopt a child.
I ended up walking her home during which time she told me how lucky she and our friend were to know me because I have done so much for them. Before we got back to her place we went to BK and had a bit to eat which I paid for. We then got back to her place and before we crashed out for the evening she gave me this long lingering hug which by this time was confusing the hell out of me because I didn't know how to react anymore. An hour before, she told me that had I been more aggressive with her she would have thrown me out. Oh I so much wanted to hold her close look into her eyes and give her a long slow passionate kiss but remembering what she said prevented me from doing that because she set her boundaries and Irespected them. A short while later, she called out from her bedroom and asked if I was alright. How the hell am I supposed to answer? "yeah" I answered kind of somberly "I'm okay I guess". When morning came I got up and left. Just before I went out the door she asked me if I was going and I told her that yes I was so she told me to call her later that week.
The following week was my birthday I was about to turn 40. I went to visit her at her grandmother's place, where she would stay during the week because it was closer to the college but she wasn't home. Her grandmother told me that she had gone to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and would not be back for some time. " OH" I thought to myself "We were supposed to have gone to see that together" I asked her how long ago she had left and she told me that 'they' had left about a half hour before I got there. "Oh are her mother and her boyfriend in town?" I asked. "No" she answered "She went with that fellow from Mississauga" I was devastated.
I stayed for a little while longer and chatted with granny and left. The next day was my birthday. I wished I could have died especially when at a staff meeting one of the assistant managers mentioned that it was my birthday and though he wouldn't reveal how old I was "but that after this it gets more depressing." OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!@@##$$!!
Two days after my birthday I called her and she was kind of cold towards me "Why are you calling?" she asked "Well I just wanted to see if you wer home, I'd like to drop by if you don't mind" I said. "I don't think we should spend so much time together" she told me "Very well" I said "Your decision, you call the shots. I'd like to get together with you later on this week so I can pick up my clothes from your apartment and my drill if you don't mind" "Well I don't know if I'll be at my apartment at all this week give me a call"
So that Friday I called her up and asked "are we still friends?" "of course we're still friends, we've always been friends and we'll always be friends, I never gave you any indication that I had any other interest in you" So with that we arranged for me to go to her place and get my things the next day.
While I was there she told me that we should get together the following week so we could go out to a dance for halloween. And yet just 2 days ago she told me that she didn't feel it wise for us to spend as much time together. She also told me that she had called me at work to wish me a happy birthday but I wasn't available so she left a message with our switchboard, I never got that message and I know that the girls operating the board would have definitely given it to me especially since they knew how depressed I was. She could have left a message on my machine at home but she didn't. To make matters worse NOBODY called me on that day. My mom had forgotten and when she did remember it was too late to call.
The following week, halloween came. I was not in any mood to go out, I didn't have acostume and I was broke. So after work I hung around the mall for a while and then went home. I showered, had some supper, checked my messages and then clled her. "Why are you calling so late" She asked "Well" I said, I had to work a little late, I walked through the mall to see who was in costume and just got home a little while ago. I'm kinda beat and too broke to go out tonight. The rent is due tomorrow and I'll be overdrawn if I do" "WELL" she she screamed "I wanted to go out tonight" and hung up. The following week I called her to see if she was still angry. "Why are you calling" she asked in an icy tone. "What? Do you hate me now? Is that it?" I asked. "I don't want to hang out with you anymore"
"Very well" I said, I'd appreciate it if I could have the pictures back yo said you'd scan for me and put on disk" Withthat she answered "HA!" and hung up. I never heard from her again
I saw her only twice in the mall since and only shortly after that final conversation. I sent her a birthday card asking what I did wrong and to not throw away our friendship. I also asked her to forgive me for anything I might have done wrong.
So I ask anyone who has read this whole thing. What was my crime? what should I have done or not done?
Has anyone else experienced anything even close to this.
Talk about your mind fucks.
Mallory
About 8 or 9 years ago I happened to meet someone new and exciting who totally rocked my world. She and I became friends (just friends) even though I had hoped that it could develop into something deeper and more meaningful.
A mutual friend of ours told me at the time not to get my hopes up because she was pretty much asexual and not a very affectionate person. I figured that I could accept that.
The friend that introduced me to her (not the one I mentioned above, but his girlfriend) asked me if it was alright to tell her about me and the fact that I am a crossdresser to which I consented. This new friend was not only accepting, she thought that it was a really cool thing because she liked guys who were different and wore makeup. I was thrilled.
I was also excited by being her very presence. I'd get all tingly inside whenever she was near. Since she lived an alternative lifestyle herself by dying her hair a nice dark green, which looked absolutely terrific against her dark skin (She's Metis {pronounced " May- Tea}) only added to the excitement I felt . Not horny but in an 'in love' kind of way
One time she and the friend that introduced us to one another came over to help with my makeup and teach me how to look my best and most convincing,-- I was in heaven-- and then we went out to the only bar in town that caters to people with alternative lifestyles.
Time passed, we'd hang out together, we'd go out to a little cafe once a week for poetry nights where anyone could recite their own work or that of their favourite author. One night I ended up going alone but I spotted her passing by and accompanied her to the alternative bar as my male self. I didn't care so long as I was with her. I was very much in love. She'd been drinking quite a bit that night and when I told her that I needed to go home because it was getting late and had to go to work in the morning she gave me this warm wonderful hug ran her fingers through my hair and whispered "I love your hair, it's so nice and long and soft, for Mallory" I felt like I was on a cloud. You know that feeling you get when you first fall in love? You get all tingly inside , your heart beats faster, your pulse races and so on. I got home and immediately wrote a poem about her because I was so inspired like I had never been inspired before. I just couldn't stop writing (I'll post it later)
About a week or so later she told me that she didn't want to hug me ever again because I didn't want to seem to let go. Hell no I didn't want to let go it was the most intense, beautiful, wonderful feeling I had ever had and didn't want to end. I never felt more happy or more loved. She told me that it was her opinion that needing a hug was a sign of weakness.
As time passed. we'd hang out together with me in either form and we'd always have agood time. We'd go to karaoke with just the two of us or as a larger crowd. (Yes I can sing quite well) and she'd always give me words of encouragement especially when we'd hear others going up and totally killing a song. She even suggested that I could do a better job singing the Olivia Newton John part of "Summer Nights" when she'd hear me sing along.
She got quite upset with me one time when we were having a discussion about something and I asked her to "hold that thought for a second" because there was a song being played which I hadn't heard in years and was interested to know what a few of the words were that I just could never make out on my own. (I'm sure everyone of us has had that happen)
She accused me of not paying attention to her and yet, one time when we were out we were having a conversation when one of her friends came along totally interrupted what we were talking about without so much as an "excuse me" and they spent the next 10 minutes or so chatting. I must admit that I was hurt and somewhat offended. I even asked, politely, if we could continue what we were discussing before it became stale or I lost my train of thought. She was offended by this and told me that I had been rude to her friend.
(I told you this would take some time in telling)
One time when we were out for halloween, I was dressed as a cat and we were at this dance where I met another 'girl' like myself and my friend encouraged me to get to know her better and maybe even go home with her.
As time passed we spent more and more time together. She told me one time that she was very angry with our friend (the one who brought us together) because they were to have gone on a trip to Toronto together but had left a day early without her. I later learned that our friend had to make a quick decision that day because her ride showed up a day early and it was one of those "now or never" scenarios. Try as she might there was no way to get the message to her that this was happening. I tried to explain this to which she accused me of taking sides and called me a traitor.
As time psssed things had calmed down and a couple of friends from her hometown moved to our city and they roomed together. Well things didn't work out as planned and I'd get to hear from either her or them about the conflicts that they were experiencing (never at the same time) I'd listen but never get involved except to suggest that they have an open discussion about what was bothering them before it festered into a loathing of each other. After all, they'd been friends since early childhood and it would be a terrible thing to let petty squabbles destroy what took a lifetime to build.
During the time they lived together she invited me over so that we could all go out together with me in my Mallory persona. She even delighted in doing the finishing touches of my makeup and telling me how much I had improved since her lessons. Again I felt like I was in heaven. We even took a number of pictures of me and group shots.
Unfortunately, things didn't work out between them and she moved out without telling them.
Time passed, I'd visit her at her new place, we'd go out and then one day she told me that she was moving to Toronto so she could attend college.
Before she moved, she asked me to take her cat because she was planning on living on residence and that since the cat was overly affectionate we'd be perfect for each other.
During her absence we'd often exchange emails and chat in various chatrooms with me as Mallory and her pretending to be a male. She even had me intervene when one time this one girl she was chatting with wouldn't leave her alone. I, on the other hand, was always upfront with the girls I was chatting with when I 'd PM them and tell them about my true identity and see if they were still interested in continuing the chat. Then it happened, I lost all contact with her.
Months passed. Nothing. I'd run a search in the chats under all the names she'd used and in all the rooms we'd been in. Nothing. I'd check my emails. Still nothing. It was as if she'd suddenly fell off the planet.
One day as I was making supper I heard a knock at my door and it was her mother's boyfriend who happened to be in town from their hometown some 700 miles away and asked me If I had heard anything from her. I told him that I had not and was wondering what might have happened. He told me that, against her mother's wishes and fears, she went to Florida or somewhere in the U.S. to meet someone she'd met online and they hadn't heard from her since. I was very concerned because I thought she might have met with her fate because she would represent herself as a man in the chats and maybe she mislead some woman into beliveving that she was meeting such a person. I truly thought that she had been killed.
2 years would pass before I saw her again. She showed up at my workplace with, her mother and her boyfriend, and her brothers. Can you imagine how overjoyed I was to see her again? I gave her a big hug and told her how glad I was to see that she was alive and well which kind of threw her for a loop because she didn't understand my statement. I explained my concerns to her and how her mother's boyfriend had come to visit me and share his concerns as well as those of her mother. She was a bit upset at this because she felt that it was nobody's business where whe went or what she had been up to. She did confide in me that she had indeed gone to meet a woman whom she had fallen in love with and had been quite intimate with. She also pointed out that she had gained weight during her absence, which I had noticed but didn't really care about only the fact that I could hold her arms once again and know that she was alive. When I saw her that day, she was emulating a wrestler she was a fan of in the underground,no holds barred, wrestling circuit, She wore these thick rimmed glasses with a piece of masking tape in the middle. I didn't care even though she asked me if I didnt think she looked kind of 'nerdy'.
We rekindled our friendship and picked up pretty much where we had left off by going out to either the karaoke bar or the other one when she would ask me if I would like to go out in my Mallory form.
As time passed we did more things together, we'd exchange christmas gifts and cards, I'd give her seat rides on my bicycle even though it was in rough shape and I was worried about the added weight on the chain and drive crank ( the little axle that connects the pedals) at the same time though I didn't care to much because I was having so much fun and felt a special bond with her doing this. I even sang a small portion from the "Laverne and Shirley" theme one time while doing this to which she commented "Oh I love that show"
One time when we were at karaoke we saw this one guy that was a regular he looks like a chimpanzee and sounds like kermiit the frog when he sings (His nickname among my other circle of friends) she told me ' Go up to that guy and tell him I like him" "I'm not going to do that" I told her I'm hurt and offended that you would ask me to do that"
That night after returning from karaoke she asked me if I'd like to sleep in her bed with her because it had more room than her love seats in her living room. I eagerly said yes but didn't try anything because she had been drinking heavily that night and didn't want to take a chance at misinterpreting her hospitality. I also didn't want to chance a charge of aquiantence rape. I'd much rather hear something more direct from her (or anyone for that matter) when her head was more clear and focused.
Imagine my shock when she told me one night after yet another karaoke session, how a man she had met online came to visit her and she made him the same offer and he told her that he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself if he slept with her, and she consented? She also told me that afterwards they had gone to the hospital to get a morning after pill so she wouldn't get pregnant.
She saw the look on my face and asked me what was bothering me so I told her how upset I ws at what she had just told me, especially when she knew how I felt about her. She told me that we were just friends and I had to learn to accept that there would be nothing more between us than that.
Time passed
I helped her to move to a larger apartment in the same building she was in. The apartment she moved into was a disaster to say the least. The fridge was a total mess, it and the stove and oven looked like it hadn't been cleaned in years. So I went to the store got a bunch of cleaning supplys, (J cloths, rubber gloves Mr clean etc) and went about to get these things cleaned for her. The other guy she had helping was totally useless, He outweighed me by at least 60# and couldn't even get the loveseat up a single flight of stairs without running out of breath or strength. He dared question MY ability to do things?
Eventually she managed to get through to him that she had no interest in him other than his assistance after he tried to show his interest in her. She wanted to sand and repaint her cupboards and kitchen drawers so I bought a small can of paint, some sanding accessories which I could fit into my power drill and helped her to the refinishing job. It wasn't cheap but I didn't care because her landlady told us to keep the receipts because she could pay me back and write it off in her taxes as building maintenance since we saved her the cost of hiring someone to do what need to be done anyway.
The ironic thing about all of this was that whenever I was short a few bucks for something, say like if we'd go to burger king or something and I'd ask her if she could spare the change she'd get upset with me even though I'd pay her back each time, say nothing of the many times when we'd go out and she'd want just one more beer and would ask if I could pay for it. I would do so without any hesitation or asking for any repayment.
Many times she would call me and ask me to come to her aid for one thing or another. She was experiencing severe menstural cramps and asked me if I had anything for the pain. The night this happened I had just gotten out of the shower and was ready to have my supper. I quickly dried myself and my hair as best as I could with a towel, wolfed down my food, found some advil or something like that and rushe over on my bike. It had begun to snow. I didn't care. My only concern was that she was hurting and needed my help. I made a makshift heating pad for her by boiling some water and pouring it over a towel and placing it in a couple of milk bags which I wrapped in another towel so she would not get burned as she applied it to her body. Another time she asked me to come with her to a friend's place to see if she had left her hat there explaining that if she went alone they'd insist on her drinking with them and she wasn't in the mood for it that night. I dropped what I was doing and rushed over.. The next thing you know we're at a bar drinking until the place closed, The place was a dive.
The following summer (last year) I was on my vacation from work and we went to a summer festival. As we approached the area in which it was being held there was a waterskiing demonstration and the announcer commented about the spectacular watersports display. My friend looked over at me and began to laugh as she told me that she could think of another meaning for "watersports". I was quite intrigued and even a bit excited by this comment. Later on when we were using the porta pottys she was in the one right beside me and teased me by saying "I can hear you peeing"
This only got me even more excited.
While we were there, we ran into a friend of mine and I introduced them to one another. He asked me if she was my girlfriend and I told him tht no, we were 'just friends'. This guy being somewhat of a joker asked "but she is a girl?" "yeah, but we're 'just friends', less complicated that way" Boy was she ever pissed off at me for saying that. Now what am I supposed to think at this time? Later on that evening she suggested that I gather a bunch of my clothes together and we could do a photo shoot. I was thrilled. Since she only had a few pictures left on the film in the camera, went and bought 2 more rolls. We only used one,
We also rented a bunch of movies that week and I helped her to set up her two vcr's so she could make a copy of some for herself.
Sometimes when we were together I could see her secretly playing with herself while we watched a movie. We weren't watching anything erotic. I suppose she was just feeling kinda horny. How I wished I could have gone down on her and made her feel even more satisfied or at the very least have a taste from her fingers
As time passed we would do more things together. I'd buy her little tokens of my affection, I'd visit her and bring her chocolates which I knew she loved even though she told me tht she relly shouldn't eat because it would make her fat. I told her that it would only make her all the more to love. I'd often compliment on her artistic skills and her ability to draw and create. She is quitean accomplished artist I certainly can't draw like that I can barely draw a straight line. One night we were having a discussion about this and that and she mentioned how she liked elephants. The next day or so I bought her this cute little stuffed elephant as another token of my affection
(this story is almost over please read on)
We would go clothing shopping together. I gave her a bunch of money one time and asked her to pay for the skirts I wanted and she could pick out a few items for herself as well.
We went to a second hand store before Halloween and they had all kinds of costumes and accessories there including a mini riding crop which resembled a cat-o nine tails which she pulled over her hand and commented how she could see how someone might enjoy something like that. Hell if I had had enough money I would have bought the thing. I was excited at the concept of us having some kinky exotic fun together especially if we could combine it with my dressing up in something naughty or sexy. Over a period of time I bought her this halloween costume, a mesh, fishnet like cloak with a hood on it because I knew it was something that fit her style and mindset. It cost me $25.00
Then something happened I don't know what. We went out one night after I had helped her do some more refinishing and we got into some kind of an argument of sorts. I was telling her of a near death experience I had and she started to tell me about a similar experience she had before I could tell the rest of my story. I let her finish and tried to get back to my story at which point she told me that I had been rude to her and interrupted. She also told me tht I was "self "absorbed" she also decided then and there to point out some of my other "flaws" and felt she had the right to do so because she was my friend. During the evening she told me that she wasn't sure if she wanted to continue seeing the man she met online (the one she slept with) because he was a prison guard and might be a control freak. I told her that as a rule, it is what people in that profession are required to be. Later on she told me that I didn't know how to read body language and that sometimes I should try to be more aggressive. That sometimes I should take that 'bull by the horns and take control' I told her that I did not like the whole body language thing because it can be so easily misinterpreted and that I need to hear the words to be sure. I then told her of a relationship I had 20 years ago with this one woman who told me thet she didn't believe in premarital sex and how I respected her boundaries. I told her how surprised I was when after we broke up she was living with a man and she was on the pill and how it came to be that this could happen, She told me that had I been more forceful she would have given in. To this my friend said "See that's what I'm talking about" (well excuse me that's just a bunch of bullshit. that's rape in my book. to me "NO" means "NO") I then asked her what would have happened if I had been more aggressive the night she asked me to join her in her bed and made the same comment her friend fro Mississauga made the night he slept with her. She told me that she would have thrown me out. So there you go! She then asked me what was the deal of a dildo I had bought for myself. (she learned of this during her disappearing act when she lost my email address and executed a search for me and found a posting I had made about it regarding my reaction to it and if anyone else had a similar reaction) She also knew that I'm somewhat impotent and infertile
(boy talk about your triple whammys [I'm also not very well endowed but I frankly don't care about that]) She went on to tell me that women like men who are men and if asked me if I didn't think the my being Mallory wasn't destroying my life. "Besides", she said, you told me that you're infertile and impotent, I want to have children some day and you can't give me any. I'm not getting any younger you know." And yet earlier that evening, we ran into someone I used to work with and his wife who told us that she couldn't bear any children so my friend told her that there was always the option to adopt a child.
I ended up walking her home during which time she told me how lucky she and our friend were to know me because I have done so much for them. Before we got back to her place we went to BK and had a bit to eat which I paid for. We then got back to her place and before we crashed out for the evening she gave me this long lingering hug which by this time was confusing the hell out of me because I didn't know how to react anymore. An hour before, she told me that had I been more aggressive with her she would have thrown me out. Oh I so much wanted to hold her close look into her eyes and give her a long slow passionate kiss but remembering what she said prevented me from doing that because she set her boundaries and Irespected them. A short while later, she called out from her bedroom and asked if I was alright. How the hell am I supposed to answer? "yeah" I answered kind of somberly "I'm okay I guess". When morning came I got up and left. Just before I went out the door she asked me if I was going and I told her that yes I was so she told me to call her later that week.
The following week was my birthday I was about to turn 40. I went to visit her at her grandmother's place, where she would stay during the week because it was closer to the college but she wasn't home. Her grandmother told me that she had gone to see the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and would not be back for some time. " OH" I thought to myself "We were supposed to have gone to see that together" I asked her how long ago she had left and she told me that 'they' had left about a half hour before I got there. "Oh are her mother and her boyfriend in town?" I asked. "No" she answered "She went with that fellow from Mississauga" I was devastated.
I stayed for a little while longer and chatted with granny and left. The next day was my birthday. I wished I could have died especially when at a staff meeting one of the assistant managers mentioned that it was my birthday and though he wouldn't reveal how old I was "but that after this it gets more depressing." OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!@@##$$!!
Two days after my birthday I called her and she was kind of cold towards me "Why are you calling?" she asked "Well I just wanted to see if you wer home, I'd like to drop by if you don't mind" I said. "I don't think we should spend so much time together" she told me "Very well" I said "Your decision, you call the shots. I'd like to get together with you later on this week so I can pick up my clothes from your apartment and my drill if you don't mind" "Well I don't know if I'll be at my apartment at all this week give me a call"
So that Friday I called her up and asked "are we still friends?" "of course we're still friends, we've always been friends and we'll always be friends, I never gave you any indication that I had any other interest in you" So with that we arranged for me to go to her place and get my things the next day.
While I was there she told me that we should get together the following week so we could go out to a dance for halloween. And yet just 2 days ago she told me that she didn't feel it wise for us to spend as much time together. She also told me that she had called me at work to wish me a happy birthday but I wasn't available so she left a message with our switchboard, I never got that message and I know that the girls operating the board would have definitely given it to me especially since they knew how depressed I was. She could have left a message on my machine at home but she didn't. To make matters worse NOBODY called me on that day. My mom had forgotten and when she did remember it was too late to call.
The following week, halloween came. I was not in any mood to go out, I didn't have acostume and I was broke. So after work I hung around the mall for a while and then went home. I showered, had some supper, checked my messages and then clled her. "Why are you calling so late" She asked "Well" I said, I had to work a little late, I walked through the mall to see who was in costume and just got home a little while ago. I'm kinda beat and too broke to go out tonight. The rent is due tomorrow and I'll be overdrawn if I do" "WELL" she she screamed "I wanted to go out tonight" and hung up. The following week I called her to see if she was still angry. "Why are you calling" she asked in an icy tone. "What? Do you hate me now? Is that it?" I asked. "I don't want to hang out with you anymore"
"Very well" I said, I'd appreciate it if I could have the pictures back yo said you'd scan for me and put on disk" Withthat she answered "HA!" and hung up. I never heard from her again
I saw her only twice in the mall since and only shortly after that final conversation. I sent her a birthday card asking what I did wrong and to not throw away our friendship. I also asked her to forgive me for anything I might have done wrong.
So I ask anyone who has read this whole thing. What was my crime? what should I have done or not done?
Has anyone else experienced anything even close to this.
Talk about your mind fucks.
Mallory
