why do men think they have to lie to get a girl into bed?

[wethorny_angel]

hey everyone i have a question to ask why is it that most guys think they have to lie to get a girl into be with them is it becuase they dont think we will like them the way they are or something else. I am wondering about this becuase it has happend to me a couple of times.
cant wait to hear your replies

 

[texas_guy]

hmmmm

Guess some guys can just be jerks??? Have yet to have it happen to me, soo not much to speak of from personal experience.


Although i have had a friend or 2 who was a complete jerk and just use to hop from bed to bed even when they were already with someone.

 

[latinocutie19]

Not sure...

Hmm...i have no idea, but personally, I've got enough female friends who would if i asked(and no, i have'nt and won't!) so i dont need to lie. Besides, girls are apt to sexually pleasure you more if they know the truth about you....and most girls can tell when most guys are lying.
;-)

 

[Malachi]

Great Mystery of Life?

My prediction is we're not going to hear anything whatsoever from the guys who lie to get women into bed. If they were the kind of guys who would honestly relate why the did it, they wouldn't be the kind of guys who would lie to get women in bed, neh? It may have to remain one of the great mysteries of life.

Then again, telling the truth hasn't exactly worked wonders for me, so if I were desperate and had no self-esteem, maybe I'd be willing to try a different approach too.

Hell, maybe they do it because they find it sometimes works.
I've seen it work for lots of guys.

In fact, it sounds like a pretty good idea. I should try that!

Okay, maybe not.
But you can see how the reasoning might go.

 

[VanB]

Probably down to a lack of self confidence, immaturity, naivety and downright stupidity. Those who do lie and cheat to get women (or men for that matter) into bed are not going to tell us the reasons but be reassured that there are plenty of genuine people out there who don't and won't lie.

For what it's worth I think that those who lie to get a woman into bed are unlikely to restrict their deceipt to their sex lives so don't trust 'em!

 

[Guest]

Men and women lie becuase the person they want to bed wants to be lied to.

After all "Well honey, I only want to bed you because your friend said no" or "Lets shag, you have a lot of money and I reckon you'll buy me lots of nice things before I dump you" would not raise the excitement level - even though a) sums up most men to women encounters for men and b) sums it up for women.

People use people and lying is the oil that makes the world go round. Sad but true....

 

[thegunman]

Simple..it works. Not being smart, just blunt. People love being told what they want to hear. Life really is as simple as that. Most people lead pretty dull lives really. Most dont have a lot of money, a really fancy car, or a big expensive house. Most are just average guys, with average equipment. Now who really wants to sleep with JOE AVERAGE?? NOT to many people. We all like to say we are perfectly happy with an average man or woman, but really that is SELDOM ever the case. And most people can not abide the truth. It is usually to painful to their ego's.
IF a woman askes me how do I look? I am going to tell her she looks GREAT!! IF SHE DOES OR NOT!(laugh) AND THEY WANT YOU TO!! Many of us enjoy no strings sexual affairs, for one reason or the other. But to be honest about WHY you do, will often end the conversation right then and there. But when they get to know you, and understand you a little better. SOME TIMES that is exactly what they are looking for as well. Only we know WOMEN NEVER LIE!! DON'T WE??(Laugh) I know NONE have ever lied to me!!(laugh)
But the bottom line is most everyone lies about something in their lives, and they do it for a simple reason. TO make themselves feel better about who they are. As most people, men and women alike, are not who we REALLY want to be. So with a stranger, we can be anyone we wish to be. And if that person find this made up person to be attractive to them, they will proceed. If not, they wont. It really is as simple as that. If the statement above is TRUE, that most women KNOW when a man is lieing anyway, and they didnt want to go to bed with a liar, then this question would not be posted..am I right? The biggest lie I have ever heard is, baby..I will NEVER LIE TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING!!(Laugh) Be it a HE or a SHE that said it!!

 

[Guest]

Rejection!!

Noone likes the thought of being turned down or rejected!! There 4 the tell those little white lies to get in ur pants hoping after u had them everything will b ok.....
this is just a thought tho.. ive never had to lie to get sumone in the sack...lol.. and dont feel like anyone has lied to me...
Melissa

 

[Zidane]

We have to lie? I thought telling the truth was enough!?

 

[Guest]

Years ago, I heard a three part joke that's good for eternity. However, I can't remember the third leg of the joke. Can anyone out there help?

It's the 3 biggest lies you will ever hear: 1. The check's in the mail. 2. I won't come in your mouth. and 3. ?

Help. Mike

 

[talulah]

#3- of course you are the most beautiful woman in the world? I remember the joke, but not the ending.

As for lying, well... to tell a woman she's hot when you don't think she's quite all that but still doable... that's forgivable. But to tell her you're a virgin when you really just slept with half the whores downtown is a little different.

White lies are a good thing, especially if the only thing they can POSSIBLY do is to raise her self esteem. Outright hurtful lies that could come back and bite you in the ass later (like "I'd never sleep with your best friend" when you mean "I'd never sleep with your best friend...again..") are bad.

Mmmkay?

 

[Zidane]

But I'm not lying, I am a virgin!

 

[LukkyKnight]

Nobody has to lie

But some boys think it's worth lying just to be able to score some nookie. That is the difference between men and boys.

 

[Frimost]

I second that motion by Zidane

I don't lie AND I am a virgin too. That there alone should tell you something an indicate a reality which many of you may not wish to face. Maybe later on in life when women have a healthier attitude and are more mature they covet a honest caring guy, BUT yonger women want jerks. Jerks lie, in fact, the women are to blame just as much because many of them don't REALLY seem to want the guy himself either. They just want to be told what they want to hear because they are not making love to the individual but living out a fantasy. They love the way the guy makes them feel, or how he looks, they are just as shallow as young men because they son'r seem to like the ACTUAL guy himself but just an aspect or quality of his.

 

[Zidane]

I agree with Frimost. I see girls left and right at my school dating jerks, jocks and all sorts of guys who are just in it for the sex. Why? Why do girls want to go out with these creeps and reject guys like me every time? I was once told by a girl that I'm the kind of guy one comes home to, not the guy that they want to go out with. So what is up with that, huh?

 

[MizTabby]

Re: Nobody has to lie

But some boys think it's worth lying just to be able to score some nookie. That is the difference between men and boys.

...and I do believe the Green MAN makes a valid point!

I can't see the necessity for spinning tales, eventually the lie manifests itself and somebody's going to look really stupid!!
my sympathy lies with the party who gets hurt, there are some very smooth operators out there and it's just so not fair.
but then, boys will be boys

now about that nookie ...

 

[meljr2]

Oh the tangled web we weave

Well...Why do men lie? There are a lot of reasons. Someone put it pretty bluntly earlier when they said "it works" I was a Resident Assistant in College and I talked to a lot of girls about their relationships and things like that. They all asked the same questions. "Why can't I find a nice guy?" "Why are men such jerks" "Why did he have to lie to me?"

A lot of men are just looking for sex, because they haven't hit a level of maturity yet, and it comes at different times for different people. They will tell a girl/woman what she wants to hear to get her in bed...and they continue to do it...because it works. Most of the time a woman can save herself this dilema if she waited longer to have sex. If all a guy wants is sex, he isn't going to stick around feedng you lies forever. He's wasting a chance to get laid somewhere else.

Quite simply put, you find what you are looking for. If you are looking for a good fuck, you are going to find a liar and a jerk, because he/she cares less about it than you do. If you are looking for a nice stabe relationship with a guy, you are less likely to come across the liars and jerks. Yes they areout there, but youare less interesting to them because you want something better than them.

Just my $.02

Mel

 

[Guest]

meljr2 you hit the nail on the head they haven't hit a level of maturity and sad but true some men my age still have not

 

[on_the_verge]

It's the art of seduction, that is how wars are won.

//

Ducking for cover>

 

[MizTabby]

Seduction?

It's more like sedition, Verge, if you're talking war, and since when is seduction synonymous of deceipt?

On the other hand, if a man is eloquent enough to convince a lady that she should not withold the nookie, maybe he doesn't consider it being lies, but more of an adept demonstration of his verbal skills, allowing him the right of passage to every nook and cranny.

BUT, being versed in the art of clever speech doesn't give anybody carte blanche to pull the wool over another's eyes, irrespective of what who wants to hear, as it's been suggested several times already on this thread.

 

[Zidane]

I remember asking out this girl that I 'thought' I was in love with to go out on a date and she refused, why? She told me 'I was too nice.' Too nice? What's wrong with being too nice? Despite what people might think, when it comes right down to it concerning sex, I will wait until she is ready and until I'm ready to have it. I feel, in fact, I KNOW I can control myself i I am not ready for such a event. I try to be truthful, I try to be honest, I try to be as nice as I possibly can and as I have been raise and brought up to be. I have the 'old school' as some would call it, way of treating women as royalty. (ladies first, helping them with some jobs, etc.) Not that I won't cater to their every whim and need, it'll appear that I'm 'too clingy' or I'm babying them. But enough to show respect for the opposite sex. And what do I get? rejections left and right saying I'm too nice, I'm not wild enough, I'm not good enough, find someone else, etc. I'm pretty much ready to just give up trying to find a meaningful relationship.

 

[wethorny_angel]

THANK YOU

Thank you all for your opinions i know that their is guys out their that dont have to lie to get a girl into bed with them but im still waiting to find one of them Mabey some day. and thanks agian for all of your opinions their a real help keep them comming
Thanks
AnGeL

 

[jberniercon]

Angel,

I regret to say that a few years ago, I was that type of guy. Someone hit the bullseye when they said it's because of feelings of inadequacy(I think that's how you spell it!). I figured if a women knew the real me, she wouldn't have sex with me. I also believed sex was a fine substitute for a relationship. Don't get me wrong, sex is great, but now I have sex with the person, not just the body. And it's still NO substitute for a meaningful relationship.

I guess I've just grown up, and pity those guys.

Best of luck, you'll find the right one when you're not looking for him.

Jay

 

[quilesed]

some men don't have any game to them so they have to lie in order to get sexual pleasure from someone.

 

[Guest]

maybe if women would stop falling for these morons and give nice guys a chance then women would be in healthy, honest relationships and wouldn't have to make posts like this.