Why can't I masturbate?

[AStormyOne]

OK, obviously I CAN.... But I don't enjoy it. I know this sounds wierd, but it's true. Everyone tells me I need to "get in touch with myself", and nobody can do it like I can. And I have tried.... many times. But I can never seem to relax and enjoy it. I can't figure out what I am doing wrong. If anyone has any suggestions, I would REALLY appreciate it.

Storm

 

[KillerMuffin]

That's interesting. The assumption is, of course, that you want to masturbate. It's a sex thing, and like all sex things there will be some people who just don't like it. That's perfectly normal.

If you're less inhibited you could try masturbating with your partner first. Have your lover start the whole thing, manipulating you while you kiss and cuddle. It would be a good prelude to sex or a really nice after thing. Start slowly. When you were relaxed and comfortable, then put your hand down there as well, over your lovers, moving together.

If you're alone, you could try simply just touching yourself. Not masturbating, but touching your skin where it's sensitive. Just light touches. Do it while you're thinking about sexy things or using porn, which helps. I like to scrape my fingernails gently along my arms just to feel them. It raises goosebumps. That's masturbation as well. The important thing here is that you're training yourself to accept your own touch, you're training yourself to accept that what you're doing is okay to do, and you're training yourself to relax. Don't rush the big O too soon and don't force your body to relax or try to force the actual sex touching masturbation right away.

There are things that you can do in public. The insides of your wrists, insides of your elbows, your neck, the backs of your hands are all very sensitive places. It is not going to be noticed if you run your fingernails gently over any one of those spots for a few moments. Just think about how it feels. It's teaching your body to accept and like your own touch. It's not just sexual, it's sensual.

Don't push too hard and don't expect miracles. You may never get into masturbation. Don't worry, you're prefectly normal if you never do.

 

[Cloak38]

There's something holding you back.
Guilt?
You say you can't relax. Are you in a place where there are others around you and they might walk in while you are occupied?
Find a story here that you really enjoy...
one that gets the juices flowing..
and just take your time.
Perhaps you need a litle more stimulation.
Pictures...
a voice on the phone...
a naughty little toy...

Just take your time, don't worry about cumming, find out what works for you...

 

[alltherage]

It is understandable that if you can't relax you can't enjoy it. What keeps you from relaxing? I think if you can understand that then the rest will take care of itself.

I agree with Killer Muffin. There is nothing that says you have to enjoy mastrabatioin. Thats the nice thing about it. It's an individual thing and really there are no rules. Learn what pleases touches please your body and try to be aware of those sensations when you try. For me, my fingers running lightly over my belly and upper thigh get me very warm. I like to read about sex(duh, why else be a member here) and i have found that good stories make my mastrabation experiences very enjoyable. Take advantage of them. Maybe you could try reading about things that you would not consider doing in your own life. The thought of the forbidden can be a great turn on.

 

[AStormyOne]

KillerMuffin

You made some very good points. I never thought about slowing down, warming myself up first. Even though I require a man to do this, I guess I never applied it to myself. I am definately going to start the sensual touching... I like that idea as much, if not more, than the actual sex touching. I am sure slowing down will help me a lot. Thank you.

Storm

 

[AStormyOne]

Cloak38

I can't think of any guilt that would keep my from relaxing. I usually don't try unless I am home alone. But I do tend to feel rushed, for some reason. I am going to read some of the lit here (that usually gets me feeling pretty good ) and bring out my little silver bullet. But I think I will take my time this time, instead of trying to rush it. Thanks for the reply, you guys (and gals) are great!

Storm

 

[AStormyOne]

alltherage

After reading the replies, and really thinking about it, I think I have become to focused on the O, than on the sensations. Everyone has always told me "Nobody knows your body like you know your body," so I just assumed it would come easily and naturally for me. Evidentally I don't know my body as well as THEY know THEIR bodies. So... I'm off to practice!

Storm

 

[P. B. Walker]

AStormyOne,

If you do succeed in your uhmm quest, this would make a great story to publish here for other readers to learn from. Maybe a "how to" type piece, or just a regular story. I wish ya the best of luck.

Masturbation is like my daily caffiene fix, I'd be useless without it. LOL.

- PBW

 

[AStormyOne]

Write about it?

I never thought about writing about it afterwards. LOL Now, not only are my creative juices flowing.... well, you know.

Storm

 

[P. B. Walker]

hehe... that's good to hear Can't wait to hear all about your journey. I bet it'll be a juicy tale.

- PBW

 

[bibphi]

.....

 

[SilverVeil]

I find something that makes me aroused. A story, a movie, something that makes me think about cumming.

Then relax and explore what makes those tingling feelings stronger. Invest in a vibe. Not a huge expensilve one. A little one to start off with.

Some women like to slip it inside, others like to rub it on their clit. I am a clit type myself.

Turn it on an just buzz away to happiness.

 

[Guest]

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[AStormyOne]

bbphi

It is nice to know I'm not alone! Not that I dont want you to enjoy it, of course. LOL I just thought there was something wrong with me. I hope this thread has helped you as much as it has me!!!

hugs and self-fulfillment to you,

Storm

 

[AStormyOne]

SilverVeil

Definately gonna use the silver bullet just a little more. There's nothing like a bullet on a clit!

Storm

 

[DriveSouth]

Read

and allow your fingers to wander and play ...

 

[AStormyOne]

Enchanted

Thank you for your input. I have figured out, I definately need to slow it down some, but do something before hand to get myself ready. A lot of the lit here does it for me. Unfortunately, I havent had much of a chance to try it out.

Storm

 

[SamanthaKayne]

This has been a fascinating thread! I have a similar question...

I love to masturbate - I agree with what a lot of other folks have said about enjoying your own body - luckily I really like mine.

But, not to put too fine a point on it, I've not actually reached orgasm by myself... <pout>

It feels really wonderful, and incredibly good and all that, then it just reaches a point where the urgency sort of fades - but I don't actually come...

Any thoughts? Similar experiences?

Samantha

 

[Seeker]

Sometimes masturbating "takes the edge off" of the horniness before my orgasm, allowing residual tension to win out and prevent an orgasm. That can be very frustrating emotionally, leaving me nowhere to go but backup, relax, and try again after I have relaxed (and after the horniness has returned-reading the stories ALWAYS helps me). I hope this helps. Everyone deserves a good release every now and then.

 

[Guest]

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[SamanthaKayne]

Thanks for the responses! I feel quite welcome - I knew there was a reason I liked this place so much, and apparently it's not just the stories...

Enchanted, I thoroughly agree with you in terms of the overemphasis put on the big O, as well as my luckiness in getting there when I'm not alone - I am indeed a lucky girl.

I think a big part of what bothers me about it isn't really all that sexual - but maybe more political (even then I'm not sure that's the best word for it).

It just seems fair that if I expect someone to do something for me (in this case, it's always the same person, and he knows how, but the issue still stands), it shouldn't be something I can't do myself. I guess it comes from my feminism really. I love being in love, and I love wanting to be with someone. What I dislike is feeling that I need someone to do something because I can't do it myself.

Who knows if I'm making sense, but it's awfully nice knowing others are out there... This stuff is really hard to talk about, but surprising easy to type about.

Thanks - again.

Samantha

 

[plasticman33]

I can and do, but would prefer sex with a partner, unfortunately my wife, has lost the desire and refuses to see a doctor. So considering the old adage 'if you don't use you'll lose it!' I'm forced to take care of myself! Not as satisfactory, but at least it releases the tension.

 

[Guest]

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