Why can't I have the whole cake and eat it?

[Lovepotion69]

Sigh,

In a friends with benefits relationship. Ended up having heaps of questions last night, went to his place to talk about stuff. We spoke for hours. Feels nice to have talked openly, but also realised it's up to me how things will continue.

He doesn't want a commited relationship. He likes things as they are. Even says he doubts he'd ever be able to fall for me, but do love me as a friend and want to stay friends.

I like him. I don't think I've fallen for him, but a part of me is scared I will/may later on. Ok, so I haven't done it yet, then why the heck am I already worrying??? I think too much.

He says he can carry it on like before,but also says it's up to me what I want to do. If I feel something needs to be addressed or changed,then I must tell him.

I don't love him,but I do enjoy being with him and I know I'm gonna miss that. So, I can stay with him until either one of us finds someone else, or I can stop it here and now (or at least not see him as often) as it won't go further anyway.

On one hand I don't want to spend my time and energy on something that's not gonna get anywhere, and on the other hand I just really want to have someone to be close to, both physically and mentally. And sometimes I just need a damn good shag.

What to do????

 

[weed]

Go ahead and eat your frosting!

If there's not anything else in your life catching your heart stay with him, enjoy the openness of your relationship for what it is.

It's hard to second guess anything in life. And you may miss out on a good thing trying to.

Shoot, he may end up in love with you and you with another on down the road.

No matter what happens you'll have this special friendship to look back on.

 

[unclej]

since you asked i'll offer my two cents worth. i really do feel that one of the major mistakes people make in relationships is feeling that every relationship needs to "go somewhere" instead of just enjoying the relationship for what it is.

not all relationships have to end in long term committment. at this point in history more marriages fail than succeed so if you can enjoy a relationship right now for what it is, by all means don't loose it because of lack of committment.

 

[Lovepotion69]

since you asked i'll offer my two cents worth. i really do feel that one of the major mistakes people make in relationships is feeling that every relationship needs to "go somewhere" instead of just enjoying the relationship for what it is.

not all relationships have to end in long term committment. at this point in history more marriages fail than succeed so if you can enjoy a relationship right now for what it is, by all means don't loose it because of lack of committment.

Hmm.....I do understand your point. I really do and I partly feel the same way. Go with the flow and enjoy it while you can. I want to do that, and I do, but can't help that at times you still wonder, WHY?

It still pisses me off though that I felt a sting of jealousy when he said that he met some girl, but don't know where that may lead. Grrrr.....*hitting myself*
/LP

 

[perks]

unlce J is right on.

Grasp the moment. Love in the moment. Life isn't more than that.

 

[Demian]

Who's Been Eating the Other Half of the Cake?

Sha-Sha

 

[Lovepotion69]

So, what do I do then when I get those tiny jealous stings? Fogettaboutit?


I've heard a lot of good comments today and talking to him helped. It will hurt to lose him though when the time comes...will miss it. But I guess that's life...

Still, I'm sorting my mind out and hopefully getting things clearer.

/LP

 

[perks]

So, what do I do then when I get those tiny jealous stings? Fogettaboutit?


I've heard a lot of good comments today and talking to him helped. It will hurt to lose him though when the time comes...will miss it. But I guess that's life...

Still, I'm sorting my mind out and hopefully getting things clearer.

/LP

sugah, change is not loss. Even if you two were together in that capacity, change would still occur. Lots of people forget to grasp that concept.

 

[Private Vasquez]

if you eat the whole cake, you'll be real thirsty. Just make sure you have some milk nearby.

 

[perks]

if you eat the whole cake, you'll be real thirsty. Just make sure you have some milk nearby.

the milk is in the jellyroll