Why can't I find a guy like these?

[Lorelei_11]

Believe it or not, I'm watching the t.v show cheaters. The guys getting cheated on, a lot of them are great guys. They're hard workers, and often are doing the main part of supporting their girlfriends and wives. You can see how hurt they are to find out whats been going on.

This one I'm watching right now, this guy met her online, and moved to where she lives. She's having an affair on him. She lives at her parents house. This guy from what he says, genuinely loves her.

Man, I meet the guys and people that wouldn't walk across the street for me. So, of course I'm alone. Most often I don't even get to the point of having sex with them, because I see how they really are.

Geesh, where are these good guys???

Oh, and I must say, that when they show the cheaters cheating, good gawd its passionate and kissy kissy. I'm not being judgemental, I had an affair when I was married. Its not in my nature to do that, but after years of no sex, I did.

I want that passion and fun and sex, and of course all the kissy kissy hugging and touching.

I want a good guy, reliable, trustworthy, responsible. Down to earth, someone that would be there for me when I need him to be.

If you're out there, come and say hi, show yourself.

 

[RunnerGame]

There would be some around

Hi there. well would say you surely can find the one's you want around. If you look too hard then you won't find the person, give a shot to the things around and maybe you get the notes right.
all the best

 

[Lorelei_11]

Hi there. well would say you surely can find the one's you want around. If you look too hard then you won't find the person, give a shot to the things around and maybe you get the notes right.
all the best

Mmm hmm.. where? point me in that direction please.

They're not in my zone, my area, my path. They're not anywhere around me. I'm going to be moving in a few months, maybe that will help. lol

Get the notes right?

You know, I write songs, maybe thats the problem, I need someone to add the notes.

 

[mister39]

I am sure with a little time you will find mr. right,just dont settle for a maybe.

 

[Lorelei_11]

I am sure with a little time you will find mr. right,just dont settle for a maybe.

That would never happen. I find out if we are compatable or not, and there are no maybe's in that. Still haven't found someone compatable with me. I know what I want and need.

 

[Bubbagump211]

good guy here reporting for duty..


I watch that show too

 

[Lorelei_11]

good guy here reporting for duty..


I watch that show too

Hey... wow! Now I just have to make sure of it.

So, lets start your duty. Its a good show. Sad sometimes, and its wild how many people cheat and just don't give a shit. Its those people that find the good people. Thats just backwards, but its the way it is, opposites attract and I guess they know how to find the good ones, better than I do.

 

[Cathleen]

I hope you're not moving out of beautiful BC, Lorelei.

 

[Lorelei_11]

I hope you're not moving out of beautiful BC, Lorelei.

You must have seen one of my earlier posts. No, not moving out of B.C.

 

[Cathleen]

You must have seen one of my earlier posts. No, not moving out of B.C.

I did see it above. I'm glad to know you'll not be leaving what to me is the most beautiful place on earth. It's a special place.

Time for me to try to get a few hours of sleep or start my day -- which ever comes first.

 

[fsopranoVI]

Mature men will treat and respect you for the woman you are...sometimes you need to look past physical perfections or popularity and live happily ever after. The beautiful people who treat you like crap...get even with them...use them for your own physical fulfillment and walk away when your satisfied...but never fall in love. Men are animals and many men will say and do anything to get you in bed...bottom line. Yes, I'm a guy...but a mature guy whose marriage is complacent but has learned to respect women and overcome the complacency.

PS** Don't fall for a married man...ever...he will never give you the time you need.

Believe it or not, I'm watching the t.v show cheaters. The guys getting cheated on, a lot of them are great guys. They're hard workers, and often are doing the main part of supporting their girlfriends and wives. You can see how hurt they are to find out whats been going on.

This one I'm watching right now, this guy met her online, and moved to where she lives. She's having an affair on him. She lives at her parents house. This guy from what he says, genuinely loves her.

Man, I meet the guys and people that wouldn't walk across the street for me. So, of course I'm alone. Most often I don't even get to the point of having sex with them, because I see how they really are.

Geesh, where are these good guys???

Oh, and I must say, that when they show the cheaters cheating, good gawd its passionate and kissy kissy. I'm not being judgemental, I had an affair when I was married. Its not in my nature to do that, but after years of no sex, I did.

I want that passion and fun and sex, and of course all the kissy kissy hugging and touching.

 

[SexyCleric]

The good guys?
Where are we?

We're busy getting suckered in by a quick, flashy smile and mini skirts.
Stuck in relationships where we serve, and serve, and serve.
We're chumps, suckers, and halfwits.

We're not hard to find either. We'll pump your gas in the rain, run to catch you when you leave your purse somewhere, and heaven help us, we still hold the doors for you.

We also can be found here , hanging around, waiting for a nice, deserving woman to come along, and treat us to the decency we strive to provide.

 

[Lorelei_11]

I did see it above. I'm glad to know you'll not be leaving what to me is the most beautiful place on earth. It's a special place.

Time for me to try to get a few hours of sleep or start my day -- which ever comes first.

I hadn't thought of it as the most beautiful place on earth. It really is beautiful though. There are so many different types of country to see here. The kootenay's are what I would call a pristine more rustic beauty, lots of cold rivers and lakes, pine trees everywhere, a glacier, lake, and hot springs, great fishing, majestic mountains.

The Okanagan area, kelowna being a city in it, its a vacation destination, lots of warm beautiful lakes and sandy beaches. Orchards with apples, cherries, peaches, and vineyards. A beautiful city on the lake, lots of night life. Oh and don't forget the Ogopogo lake monster.

On the West coast, vancouver, one of the most beautiful cities on earth, near the ocean. Stanely park is gorgeous and huge. Many places in this city to go and see things, attractions, and even skiing.

Skiing on great mountains in all the places above as well.

 

[Valediction1]

Believe it or not, I'm watching the t.v show cheaters. The guys getting cheated on, a lot of them are great guys. They're hard workers, and often are doing the main part of supporting their girlfriends and wives. You can see how hurt they are to find out whats been going on.

This one I'm watching right now, this guy met her online, and moved to where she lives. She's having an affair on him. She lives at her parents house. This guy from what he says, genuinely loves her.

Man, I meet the guys and people that wouldn't walk across the street for me. So, of course I'm alone. Most often I don't even get to the point of having sex with them, because I see how they really are.

Geesh, where are these good guys???

Oh, and I must say, that when they show the cheaters cheating, good gawd its passionate and kissy kissy. I'm not being judgemental, I had an affair when I was married. Its not in my nature to do that, but after years of no sex, I did.

I want that passion and fun and sex, and of course all the kissy kissy hugging and touching.

I bolded the key idea in your post. From what he says. Anyone can be a poor victim. The show needs victims, so it shows the parts that seem to show their case. It doesn't show the conversations where it's like pulling teeth to get the 'victim' to make a suggestion on where to go for dinner. Or pick a movie, or the puppy dog eyes and "I love you snookie" EVERY time they pass in the hall, in the living room, in the kitchen, in the car, leaving for work, the calls at work, coming home from work, going to the store, they have to hold hands even walking around the block. Too many 'sweet, nice, caring' guys (or women) are insecure, smothering, indecisive, wishy washy at best. It's a chore to get them to express an opinion first, and they'll blindly agree to any words spoken by the one they fawn over. I know, because I used to be that guy. There are reasons people cheat, often because of something they're not getting at home. Rather than talk about what's missing, the cheater goes outside the home to find it. The 'victim' may not realize it's missing, but SOMETHING is wrong. I don't know of anyone who just decided on a whim "I think I'll start cheating today, just seems like something to do instead of washing the car"

Rarely are people good or bad, pretty much all of us have a mix in us, it's a matter of finding someone with a similar mix.

 

[dealeroftcp]

The reason

Those guys that you see on that show are now online at sites like Lit here but are too scared or afraid of getting hurt to be out in the real world. They have also decided to avoid more hurt and rejection. In my case, I have been told that I am too nice but I don't go out anymore since all my free time is spent with my daughter, who is my number 1 priority.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Mature men will treat and respect you for the woman you are...sometimes you need to look past physical perfections or popularity and live happily ever after. The beautiful people who treat you like crap...get even with them...use them for your own physical fulfillment and walk away when your satisfied...but never fall in love. Men are animals and many men will say and do anything to get you in bed...bottom line. Yes, I'm a guy...but a mature guy whose marriage is complacent but has learned to respect women and overcome the complacency.

PS** Don't fall for a married man...ever...he will never give you the time you need.

I'm not looking for a hot guy, in fact I don't find them attractive. I don't like pretty boys at all, I like a guy to look like a guy. I find average guys very attractive. Most of them are married though, damn it! Yes, I've fallen for a married man, as I said they seem to be my type. A lot of single guys are not tradtional and are very in touch with their feminine side, which does't work for me. You can't have two princesses in one relationship.

Mmm hmm.. you're right, they'll say or do anything. I take a lot of time to get to the sexual part of the relationship, and the one thing they can't do, is continue having a genuine relationship with me that long, so we dont' get to the sex. Its the one thing they can't do, they have no long term staying power.

 

[Lorelei_11]

The good guys?
Where are we?

We're busy getting suckered in by a quick, flashy smile and mini skirts.
Stuck in relationships where we serve, and serve, and serve.
We're chumps, suckers, and halfwits.

We're not hard to find either. We'll pump your gas in the rain, run to catch you when you leave your purse somewhere, and heaven help us, we still hold the doors for you.

We also can be found here , hanging around, waiting for a nice, deserving woman to come along, and treat us to the decency we strive to provide.

lol... good gawd, chumps suckers and halfwits hey? *shaking head*

How nice, pump my gas in the rain. That and hook up the electronics, put the christmas lights up, pick me up when my car breaks down, oh and take it in for regular maintanence so that I'm safe. Bring me flowers, take me to a movie. I'd appreciate that very much. Good guys are hard to find. I'm not expecting perfection, I'm not perfect, just someone who tries to do the right thing and most often does.

 

[Lorelei_11]

I bolded the key idea in your post. From what he says. Anyone can be a poor victim. The show needs victims, so it shows the parts that seem to show their case. It doesn't show the conversations where it's like pulling teeth to get the 'victim' to make a suggestion on where to go for dinner. Or pick a movie, or the puppy dog eyes and "I love you snookie" EVERY time they pass in the hall, in the living room, in the kitchen, in the car, leaving for work, the calls at work, coming home from work, going to the store, they have to hold hands even walking around the block. Too many 'sweet, nice, caring' guys (or women) are insecure, smothering, indecisive, wishy washy at best. It's a chore to get them to express an opinion first, and they'll blindly agree to any words spoken by the one they fawn over. I know, because I used to be that guy. There are reasons people cheat, often because of something they're not getting at home. Rather than talk about what's missing, the cheater goes outside the home to find it. The 'victim' may not realize it's missing, but SOMETHING is wrong. I don't know of anyone who just decided on a whim "I think I'll start cheating today, just seems like something to do instead of washing the car"

Rarely are people good or bad, pretty much all of us have a mix in us, it's a matter of finding someone with a similar mix.

There are two types of cheaters.

Those who cheat because they are unfullfilled, and end up turning to someone else. Instead of leaving the relationship they're in. There are many reasons for this. They're just regular people, no more self centered than anyone else. This is what you describe. "Not" a callous, callculated user.

Then, there are the type that are out to get whatever they can in life. They're trading up, find someone that they can use for more things. They keep one waiting in the wings, stay with them, until they're sure of the new one working out. Sometimes, they keep both, because both put together, fullfill all their self centered needs.

I can most often tell the difference on the show cheaters. These guys were a mans man, not what you describe at all. You can tell the difference between someone who treated someone badly or completely neglected them, or smothered them.... from a genuine good guy, who may not be perfect, but isn't bullshitting, and isn't trying to come off as the poor "victim" who really was victimized by a very self centered calculating woman, or man. It goes both ways.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Those guys that you see on that show are now online at sites like Lit here but are too scared or afraid of getting hurt to be out in the real world. They have also decided to avoid more hurt and rejection. In my case, I have been told that I am too nice but I don't go out anymore since all my free time is spent with my daughter, who is my number 1 priority.

I understand that, I've been screwed over myself. Its hard to consider putting myself out there again.

If I build a wall around me, that no one can get in, then I'm safe... but I'm alone. Then, the people that screwed me over win. The way I figure it is, they had their time with me, they hurt me but thats all that they're going to get. I will not allow them to take the rest of my fucking life from me. I decided to learn from my bad experiences, so I make better choices each time. I'm cautious, and smart, but my heart is open. I take my time to get to know people, and trust them a bit at a time. Watch thier actions, and inactions, and figure out who they really are.

That said, it can be good to take a break. I have turned inward, into myself more. I've been going through a very hard time in my life, and I discouvered I had no real friends and no one has been there for me, so all I have is myself. Yet, I'm an open minded skeptic, even now, a good guy could make his way into my life.

 

[Valediction1]

There are two types of cheaters.

Those who cheat because they are unfullfilled, and end up turning to someone else. Instead of leaving the relationship they're in. There are many reasons for this. They're just regular people, no more self centered than anyone else. This is what you describe. "Not" a callous, callculated user.

Then, there are the type that are out to get whatever they can in life. They're trading up, find someone that they can use for more things. They keep one waiting in the wings, stay with them, until they're sure of the new one working out. Sometimes, they keep both, because both put together, fullfill all their self centered needs.

I can most often tell the difference on the show cheaters. These guys were a mans man, not what you describe at all. You can tell the difference between someone who treated someone badly or completely neglected them, or smothered them.... from a genuine good guy, who may not be perfect, but isn't bullshitting, and isn't trying to come off as the poor "victim" who really was victimized by a very self centered calculating woman, or man. It goes both ways.

I'm a lot more cynical. I figure if he were really that nice of a guy, he wouldn't be airing their dirty laundry on television. That sets off almost as many warning bells as someone telling me how 'nice' they are. I believe 99.999999999% of people are self serving. So far I've found a couple exceptions: Mother Theresa, and a guy who runs the rental car company we use at work, after that, watch your back.

 

[Lorelei_11]

I'm a lot more cynical. I figure if he were really that nice of a guy, he wouldn't be airing their dirty laundry on television. That sets off almost as many warning bells as someone telling me how 'nice' they are. I believe 99.999999999% of people are self serving. So far I've found a couple exceptions: Mother Theresa, and a guy who runs the rental car company we use at work, after that, watch your back.

Yeah, just a bit more. I'd say, 80-90% are self serving. Sad world hey?

Mmm hmm.. the phoney nice guy.. they're everywhere. I've had experience with them, and the guys who play "victim" to the hilt. I've learned a lot. I avoid them.

Among all the shit, there are still some worthwhile people out there. I wish I met the guy that runs the rental car company, he's probably married though, right?

 

[Bubbagump211]

yeah some of the cheaters are pretty stupid too..

I myself have never cheated on anyone I was with at the time been cheated on though!!

Hey... wow! Now I just have to make sure of it.

So, lets start your duty. Its a good show. Sad sometimes, and its wild how many people cheat and just don't give a shit. Its those people that find the good people. Thats just backwards, but its the way it is, opposites attract and I guess they know how to find the good ones, better than I do.

 

[Lorelei_11]

yeah some of the cheaters are pretty stupid too..

I myself have never cheated on anyone I was with at the time been cheated on though!!

Most of them are smart, some of them are really stupid though. Some of them actually have reason to cheat. Most of them just want to get everything they can out of life and are seriously self centered.

I had an affair when I was married, no sex for years can make a person half crazy. Its not in my nature to do that, but it happened. I've been cheated on too, but with no good reason, he was just looking for something closer to where he lived, long distance relationship. He kept me around, while he did it.

 

[MountainMan24]

The good guys?
Where are we?

We're busy getting suckered in by a quick, flashy smile and mini skirts.
Stuck in relationships where we serve, and serve, and serve.
We're chumps, suckers, and halfwits.

Yep. We get worked over by women who take advantage of the fact that we don't treat women like shit. My problem is that I don't play social games well - therefore, most women I've seen have no time for me. Other than that, holy shit. I've heard more than once that I'm the kind of guy that women end up marrying once they're done with assholes. No, really. It doesn't do much for my ego to get that "Well, we've had our fun. Now we want stability, whether or not it's fun" kind of statement, but it's something. I'm not the best man in the universe, but I'm pretty high on the scale.

Because we don't loudly insult people and raise Hell all the time, we don't get noticed.
It's a funny kind of curse, really.

 

[Lorelei_11]

Yep. We get worked over by women who take advantage of the fact that we don't treat women like shit. My problem is that I don't play social games well - therefore, most women I've seen have no time for me. Other than that, holy shit. I've heard more than once that I'm the kind of guy that women end up marrying once they're done with assholes. No, really. It doesn't do much for my ego to get that "Well, we've had our fun. Now we want stability, whether or not it's fun" kind of statement, but it's something. I'm not the best man in the universe, but I'm pretty high on the scale.

Because we don't loudly insult people and raise Hell all the time, we don't get noticed.
It's a funny kind of curse, really.

What social games don't you play well? could you describe some so I know what you're talking about?

I need a guy who is reliable and stable. I'm not attracted to the others, that is a basic first thing for me. I don't get into hot guys, pretty boys, tough guys, charmers, or mystery men. No turn on for me, none. I like good guys, they turn me on.

I'm having a helluva time finding an average good guy, they're all married.