why can't he come????

[honeylove]

I need input from guys (or gals who have know guys who.....) CANNOT CLIMAX! I had a lover who was so good, totally erotic and did everything right, excpet he had great trouble coming. He could last for literally hours....no problem getting or keeping the thing up-and-happy. But eventually I felt really insecure since it was often over with no bang, so to speak. He could shoot in a few minutes jerking, so what's the story here? Should I have believed him when he said he felt good and didn't need to come, or was that an excuse? Sometimes I thought his balls would fairly explode!!

 

[Johndown]

Does he jerk off a lot?

Sometimes guys can get *too* used to only a certain stimulation/rhythm/pace to get off.

 

[honeylove]

thanks

nice to see there is ONE guy man enough to give me an answer! Yeah.....the whole jerking thing was his *only* way for quite a long time. So you are probably right that he got kinda used to it.
thanks for the post

 

[overlord]

can't cum

He has no trouble keeping it up? and can last for hours? hmmm....let's see.....he only cums when masturbating.....it could be he needs another stimulus brought into the act. It could be he's gotten used to the sex and now needs that extra little something to get him off....what it is...i have no idea....another girl? toys? i'm not sure. the only thing that puzzles me is how he keeps it up for so long

 

[mfdiver]

broken gun

have you tried oral? I too last a long time. My wife just slips her finger in my as and I go off like a rocket. The mind has the control, so ask him what he's thinking about or what would excite him.

 

[Gonzo006]

trouble cumming

I agree....he probably masturbates a lot..i have the same problem. I'm a very visual person. I have to see things and hear things. My ex and i used to masturbate in front of each other. Or she would use vibrators and things of that nature, and when i would get close to cumming, we would have sex, and i had no trouble cumming. Talk to him too, he may need to hear your dirty talk, and your moans.

 

[r164]

Honeylove, it is really important that you not start thinking it is you. I agree with the others. While masturbating, he is going through some fantasy. Ask him to
share that with you and then you talk him through that while
having sex. Sounds like it is worth working on. I have other ideas. Contact me at r164@literotica.org. R

 

[severin1999]

You may not believe this but I know it from experience. It is possible for a man to climax without ejaculating. This has happened to me a few times. It happens randomly, with no relation to the last ejaculation. I don't agree with some of the responses, suspecting your lover of masturbating. One time this non-ejaculating climax (for lack of a better term) happened when I had not had sex for a long, long time (not even with myself). It usually occurs at a certain stage of excitement and when the climax occurs, I usually lose interest in further sexual activity, even if there is no physical evidence I climaxed. I don't know how to explain it any better. And I've never discussed this with anyone, mainly because it has never come up. I hope this has been of some help.

 

[Waldo]

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[honeylove]

thanks everyone

Hi all.....and thanks for the replies. I have to say, I understand this man needs a lot of stimuli. I just get frustrated. I mean....I did everything for him to try & help. Talked dirty, asked about fantasies, talked about fantasies, role play, bought XXX mags (this makes him get off faster --- makes me feel inadequate.) I give him oral.....he can still go for hours. I do anal with him, tit-fucks, 69, jerk him.....I'm runnin out of ideas!! When I stroke him off, that too can sometimes last til my arm/hand is burning! Sex would be good, except we both get red, rubbed and sore (yeah....we do the lube too). It may sound like a dream come true, but 2+ hour long sex, everyday......we weren't built for it!!!
Oh, and as for the no-cum climax.....he says he gets this. Til I read your post,SEVERIN-1999, I didn't think he was serious!

 

[onewilly]

Let him get things started and just before...

Let him jack off until he is about ready to cum and then take over. Do that for awhile and see if he enjoys it. Next, just before he cums give him oral sex. It would help if you could tell him stories with you in them. Do that as he is about to cum. Keep yourself in his mind as he comes and maybe he will respond to your love better. Just remember that you are the one that makes him climax in the end and not himself. This will take time and may or may not work.