why are all euphemisms jokes?

[sanchopanza]

i was looking on the net earlier for some good euphemisms for cock and all i could find were jokey ones. some a fairly "serious" but most are ridiculous - i just need a new lot of popular euphemisms.

Albino cave dweller
Bald-headed giggle stick
Chubby conquistador

and so on, are crap ones

 

[Jenny _S]

Ummm??

What exactly are you going to use these words for? If you are looking for alternates in your stories you should read HERE.

If you are looking for words to slide into everyday conversation look in MathGirls Vocabulary thread.

 

[pop_54]

i was looking on the net earlier for some good euphemisms for cock and all i could find were jokey ones. some a fairly "serious" but most are ridiculous - i just need a new lot of popular euphemisms.

Albino cave dweller
Bald-headed giggle stick
Chubby conquistador

and so on, are crap ones

Well friend unless you're looking for amusing euphemisms, and most euphemisms for anything are light hearted of course, you're stuck with, cock, dick, prick, and all the usual names for Percy.

I mean, Todger, one eyed bed snake, mutton dagger, pork sword, hampden wick, bishops staff, throbbing pleasure pole, and all that lot are all pretty much amusing. I mean get back if you want them amusing, I'm sure I can invent some for you, hehe!!

 

[Angeline]

A Rose is a ?

Well I used the following euphemism, which I made up, in a poem:

paradox of silk indurate

but it only pissed people off (according to annoyed feedback) because they a) had to get out a dictionary and look up "indurate," and b) determine it means "hard," so that they c) realized they had gone to some trouble for, well, dick.

Maybe it's better to just say it.

 

[Guest]

Re: A Rose is a ?

... they had gone to some trouble for, well, dick.

Crap, I always go to some trouble (either before or after) for dick, what's the big deal?

Perdita

 

[sanchopanza]

i'm just fed up with the word cock is all. cock this and cock here and there. cock everywhere. oh well - i've used pork sword but it was only in jest really

 

[Angeline]

Crap, I always go to some trouble (either before or after) for dick, what's the big deal?

well I think going to trouble for dick with big words is a good thing as I know you do, but so few agree...

 

[Icingsugar]

i'm just fed up with the word cock is all. cock this and cock here and there. cock everywhere. oh well - i've used pork sword but it was only in jest really

I sure hope so.
Anyway, why use a direct reference to the organ in question all the time? If you say "cock", "cock" and "cock" in a story, or "cock", "dong" and "slime-spitting battering ram", it is the same thing, and the reader will visualise the same thing. At least I do.

Instead, you could describe the action in other terms:
"She undid the belt and dropped his pants, before quickliy pulling down his boxers. She licked her lips and took in the sight, especially that signinficant part of the sight that pointed straight at her waiting lips."

A bit on the lame side, I know, but you get the point.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Ahem

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis,
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger,
To the world's biggest prick.

So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas,
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy or your cock,
You can wrap it up in ribbions,
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

 

[Angeline]

Lauren darling

should we start a cock-ku thread?

The bank is open
and accepting deposits.
Penning your teller?

He gave her a Rolls.
Do you think that she is still
Puffing the Daddy?

Is the war over?
Get those GIs outta there!
Save Ryan's privates.

On top of the world
or on top of something...
sinking the Titantic

 

[champagne1982]

well I think going to trouble for dick with big words is a good thing as I know you do, but so few agree...

Ah! Angeline! The bigger the better!

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Ahem

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean. .[/i]

Thank you Eric Idle.
MG

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Re: Re: A Rose is a ?

Crap, I always go to some trouble (either before or after) for dick, what's the big deal?

Perdita

Perdita,

I'm sure Richard appreciates all your trouble.

Rumple

--

Sanchopanza,

Here are some euphemisms I've collected from various, not to mention asundry, Lit posts.

cock – bone, boner, dick, erection, genitals, hammer, hard-on, hose, John Thomas, Johnson, joy-machine, knob, lance, lovepole, manhood, meat, member, organ, pecker, penis, phallus, pole, pork sword, prick, rod, root, sex, shaft, spear, staff, stem, tool, weapon, wood, woody

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: A Rose is a ?

Perdita, I'm sure Richard appreciates all your trouble.

Rumply,

I'll have you know I've yet to meet a Tom, Dick or Percy who appreciates my trouble.

resignedly, Perdita

 

[Colleen Thomas]

i was looking on the net earlier for some good euphemisms for cock and all i could find were jokey ones. some a fairly "serious" but most are ridiculous - i just need a new lot of popular euphemisms.

Albino cave dweller
Bald-headed giggle stick
Chubby conquistador

and so on, are crap ones

Ever looked at a penis? Elegant isn't a word I would use to describe one. Perhaps the eumphemisms are on the joking side because all things considerd they are describing something that is a little comical standing on it's own, so to speak.

-Colly

 

[sanchopanza]

hahaha you're right penises aren't elegant. i wasn't looking for elegant i was just fed up with the same word for it. who said that the best thing to come out of a dick was the wrinkles?

 

[destinie21]

Well I want to mention that the female genitalia while IMO is beautiful doesn't get any "good" names either with the exception of cunt. I figure the respective sex organs of men and woman only get one or two fitting nicknames the rest...

 

[sanchopanza]

with the exception of cunt? i've known so many girls who hate the word. most prefer pussy i seem to remember

 

[destinie21]

lol to me pussy will always remind me of a coward
and twat will always be the male bitch

I like the word Cunt no cutsy frilly lve tunnel for me.

 

[destinie21]

damn double post

 

[destinie21]

 

[RenzaJones]

lol D you sound like a B. B how cute.