Why?? All ye gods and goddesses and lesser deities, why? I beg of you, tell me why??

[KillerMuffin]

Why is it that when your five hear old has to yak, uh, vomit, he comes to your room, wakes you up in tears, his little tummy gurgling audibly just to tell you, "Momma I gotta yak!"

Then he stands there, tears streaming down his face, waiting for you to do something about it. "Hurry, run to the bathroom and yak in the toilet baby." You say, blearily trying to climb out of bed to help him get to the commode. His response is to sniffle and yak all over you and your bed. At 3 in the morning you find yourself doing laundry, showering and comforting a child who keeps wanting to yak in your lap.

I am not even going to begin to contemplate the behaviour of the wondermutts directly after the original yakking episode.

Momma done told me ya'll gotta have a cast iron stomach to have kids. I didn't believe her.

 

[Timmy]

Wow...
I know what you WERN'T doing last night!
*frowns*
Well , I can only say this , it makes you more
thankfull for the nights you dont get vomited
upon.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Exhibit A. Why I don't want kids... or at least why I am not going to clean up after them.

 

[Earthgoddess]

As one of the official deities of the board all I can really say is this-children never yak during the easy moments. It is physically impossible for them to regurgitate until you are either asleep in bed,on the phone on a business call. My son once yakked on the cat-talk about bad cosmic messes. We have a new rule-when yak is coming go to bathroom-do not..I repeat do not attempt to find mommy-yak first. It has never been followed. I have been yakked upon so many times I have lost count.
Take care Killer and know that the only cure for a yakking child is to void their bellies entire contents upon every set of sheets you own.

 

[Cheri]

Take care Killer and know that the only cure for a yakking child is to void their bellies entire contents upon every set of sheets you own.

EXACTLY! After the baby #2 was born I spent one horrific day I washing both sets of sheets fucking twice because of those children and finally ended up sleeping on the mattress pad in two pairs of pajamas cause there was no blanket clean. If one kid wasn't puking than the other was pooping, on my bed mind you. Looking back now, it was hysterical and much needed ammo for future teenage embarrassment. At the time though, I keep thinking this is why women run away...

 

[Patryn]

See, at least you guys are kind of lucky. When I was a child, I never had the ability to discern until about 2 seconds before the actual deed occurred that I needed to vomit. I knew when I felt sick enough to, but I wasn't about to sit in front of the toilet for 2 hours waiting for it.

 

[CreamyLady]

One memorable night my daughter, then 3, threw up in her bed. I trudged downstairs, put her sheets in the washer, and fell into my bed; she was there already.

Two hours later, she threw up in MY bed, on me, and I trudged downstairs and moved sheets into the dryer, washed mine, and took a shower. I put Katie in the guest bedroom.

I crawled in with her (it was then midnight). Darned if she didn't do it again. I cleaned us up, carried her downstairs and put her on the sofa, and trudged back up, got the sheets, and proceeded to fold, dry and wash. Up the stairs, making beds, but by this time it was dawn and I had to get up and go to work.

Ha.