Who's In Control?

[DommeNSwitch@aol.com]

I'm new to posting, but not new to Literotica. This place is so wonderful that all I've been doing is reading, reading, reading. No time to post. Thank you Laurel and Manu for all the effort you put into this site. You've given me the erotica I crave.

Now I have a question I'd like answered honestly. {or you can entertain me with stories of what you *wish* has happened to you, after all I DO love to read stories)

My husband loves to be dominated sexually. He likes the intense feeling of a flogger or paddle on his sexy ass. I, on the other hand, love the lightest touch possible. And I love to be in control {or not be when I decide it is his turn... guess that means I am still in control. lol}

ok, ok, enough rambling, here is the question.....

How many men here have fantasies of a woman in complete control? And how many women would like to be the dominate one in a relationship, telling him exactly what you want and how you want to be touched?

Thanks in advance to all who answer.

 

[Earthgoddess]

I have always been submissive except for that short and un-rewarding time as a phone dom-allowed me to work on my British accent..like free acting lessons...I have always been intrigued by the dom/sub scene,but my current hubby is at best a half hearted dom-unless I perturb him enough. I always feel most in control when I have cultivated his need to dominate me fully-maybe that is just manipulation.

 

[STEVE]

never again should a woman be in control
just look at what maggie thatcher did to the uk
one c**t f***ked us all

 

[Jenne64]

Hey Steve,
I take it that you weren't that keen on our Maggie then-))

Oh and by the way I'm running for PM next election, "The Women already have the power party",will be the next big hit in the UK. Never heard of it? You will my boy, oh but you will-))

We maybe a small movement at the moment but the movement is growing. Many young women are comming out of the closet dressed only in black leather and 6" high stilleto boots, paddle in hand ready to whip the arse off all those male politicians that roam around the house of parliment proclaiming that they have the power.

This was a party politic broadcast on behalf of "The woman already have the power party". Thanks for listening.
End of bullshit.

Jenne64 for Prime minister. (well it's preferable to Roland Rat surely Steve-))

 

[Amorphis]

I have never grokked BDSM.

The feeling of control, real or imagined, altruistic or with malice, planned or spontaneous, is the complete antithesis of all that I find sensual.

I find the stinkymeat project (meat.ontap.com) more erotic.

BDSM fans, enlighten me!

Amorphis

 

[CreamyLady]

I began to suspect I was submissive when it became apparent that I am the only one in the house to wake up at 5:30 a.m. to make sure The Cat has His breaksfast before 6:00 a.m.

A great light dawned one morning -- and it wasn't the sun smiting me in the eyeball, as I cut His Sheba duck into carefully cubed portions on His porcelain plate, either.

It was the need to be controlled, dominated; to submit to the will of Another that I realized.

I am not a switch, and do not care to dominate another. No, my need is to be thoroughly controlled in the bedroom.

So I am in a marvellous vanilla relationship, and my loving partner does not understand this need.

Fortunately, The Cat does, and I continue to rise, every morning very early, to make sure that His Will is Done.

 

[Dreamer1]

I have been with the same woman since we were teens and to say the least, we know each other sexually. I have always been the more dominant partner in bed. She jokes that she is simply allowing me to believe this and I joke that I allow her to believe she is allowing me to believe I am dominant-I think! Whatever!
Either way, we have lots of nasty fun, even after two children and 17 years together!

 

[SimplySouthern]

As for being D/s, myself I would tend to be the more submissive one. I have considered being the Dom , but somehow can never quite find a man secure enough in his manhood to allow himself to be fully dominated by a mere woman.

But I'm taking offers!

 

[Dreamer1]

I neglected to mention my argument that I am the dominant partner in the bedroom is bolstered by the handcuffs and shackles I use with proficiency!

 

[SimplySouthern]

I neglected to mention......YOU GO DREAMER!!!

Love me some handcuffs....guess that all goes back to my men in uniform fetish!

 

[Gingersnap]

Dreamer Quote

============================================================
neglected to mention my argument that I am the dominant partner in the bedroom
============================================================



This is why he is called dreamer......Neener Neener Neener!

 

[CurlyGirly]

Well, I thought I'd throw my two cents in here. I am a female bisexual switch, though I feel that my true calling is as a submissive. I know this is going to sound really lame, but my ex got me interested in the lifestyle by having me read every book I could on the subject. One of the most interesting I read was "The Loving Dominant" and the name of the author escapes me now (though give me a moment and I might think of it). It really helped me see things from a Dom/mes point of view.

I've had my hand at dominance, and although I really enjoyed it, the ex really turned me off when he said "Yes, Mistress." This proved to be a problem, obviously. I've been on both sides, and would be more than happy to shed any more light on the subject that you'd like.

 

[SimplySouthern]

I think my mian problem with being the Dom one in the relationship stems from the fact that I am extremely attracted to the macho, overbearing, I'm-in-charge-here type of man. I'm not sure how turned on I could get by a cowering, have-it-your-way type fella.

But I've been wrong before.

 

[CurlyGirly]

Exactly My point! The cowering, whimpering man really turned me off. Perhaps it wouldn't be quite the same if I were to Domme a woman, but I haven't tried that yet.

 

[Dreamer1]

I neglected to mention......YOU GO DREAMER!!!

Love me some handcuffs....guess that all goes back to my men in uniform fetish!

I most definately will SS! Thank you for the words of encouragement, although dominant, testosterone-filled types like me need very little!

 

[Dreamer1]

Re: Dreamer Quote

============================================================
neglected to mention my argument that I am the dominant partner in the bedroom
============================================================



This is why he is called dreamer......Neener Neener Neener!

You know better than that my DR friend!
When you dream, dream BIG dear!

 

[Bodizefi]

I am always the dominant one. ALWAYS! Never been with a woman who did not want it that way.

 

[SimplySouthern]

Could it be that women are "programmed" from infancy to see men as the dominant ones in life? I, myself, was always taught the "proper" way that things should be(ie: men holding doors, etc.) Spent alot of time trying to get over all that, but here I am still with this preconceived notion that men are the dominant ones in bed

Willing to be proven wrong....or prove me right and make me like it! *wink*

 

[Laurel]

I think that's true to some extent. We're drawn to "powerful" men, and to some women being an asshole = power. Personally, I'm not into guys who want to dominate me - neither do I have an interest in bossing my man around. I do like assertive, strong, self-assured men, but I've found that men with those characteristics generally treat women like equals. I did briefly date a guy who had, um, views about a woman's "place" in life and I just couldn't hang with that. Manu and I are equal partners in everything we do. We're both fairly intelligent, and we both have our strengths and weaknesses. We're also both competitive to a degree - we're always trying to simultaneously outdo and impress one another. Under the "traditional" model of woman on bottom and man on top, this site could never have existed, because my input would never have been allowed.

Now, in the bedroom's another story... It's fun to play power games on both sides. But the reason it's fun for me is that there's the underlying love, understanding, and equality. And in daily life when we're out and about, he'll open doors for me, but I'll also open doors for him when it's necessary. That, to me, is more about manners than chivalry. If we all opened doors for those in need, regardless of gender, the world would be a better place, I think.

That's just my $0.02. Flame away!

 

[April]

<humbly stating my opinion>

I open doors for whoever is walking to the door, whether it's a man or a woman. I think it's just polite. It tends to surprise men, though. And I've had a number of women who didn't even thank me. Oh, well. Piss on 'em, as my husband says!

 

[Isabella Thorne]

i love to turn you on

well .. i luv being sub .. luv it .. it is an immense turn on for me .. that is what my fantasy stories are all about .. my true submissive fantasies.

but have also being trying the dom thing too lately like you Mistress Curly .. it does feel different .. and it is something i never thought i would try ..

but it's like you always wonder if there is something else out there that could turn you on ..