Who's been in the clink?

[Sparky Kronkite]

A daring question - it will take some guts to be truthful…. To be real. I will demonstrate.

Who's been incarcerated? Locked up? Did some time in the slammer?

Yezzzz….. Me. I've had a wild and colorful life. Lucky to be alive actually. Lucky to be cognizant and not dressed in hospital garb and drooling over some pottery wheel. Luck to not be living under a bridge in southern Florida shooting out the tires on German tourists rental cars.

Lucky to post this pretty neat thread….

I've been incarcerated twice - they are both interesting and long stories - I'll keep them very short here.

#1) Did 6 months in the Marine Corps brig in Quantico Virginia. A hippie jar-head close to my home (and old associates) in DC - I found I could make some extra bucks dealing a little Mexican on the side. In those days you could pick up an lb, cut it into oz's and make !00% profit - it was easy on base, selling to our of town boys or guys fresh back from Nam. By happenstance I got some very bad (cut with powered baby formulae) coke from a couple of sick fuckin' rich boy Cuban's I fell in with - but I only got a few dimes. So bad it was that I wouldn't sell it - I stuck it in a dress sock, put it in my locker on base (yes, stupid) and forgot about it (even stupider). I was dealing with a guy, a fellow Marine, smokin' with him too, a friend, I though - he dropped a dime on me - for rank. Asshole!!! (He? A whole other cool story that eventually leads to a big jar-head fight, him, bigger'n me and on top of me, about to seriously rearrange my face - so I pull his shoulder down and bite the shit out of him - he jerks back in pain and all my little, lower teeth rip off - still have the worst looking - U.S. Navy issue - bridge you've ever seen, in my mouth - but hey, that's another story.) Anyway - got busted, they found the coke - I was found guilty in military court on Holloween (of all days) - got 6/6 and back to duty, lost two stripes - hard labor/splitting wood. Almost, because of the 6 months, went to Leavenworth (thank god I didn't). Ended up getting two other court martial's while in the brig - inciting a riot and such crap - eventually ran the brig laundry where I'd put my dope fiend friends in the big clothes dryers after attempting to sniff Kiwi show polish - just to get high don't you know.

I tell ya - I loved it - I loved the brig - one of the most (of many) memorable times of my life. When I got out - at the front gate - after being senior prisoner (the one who's there the longest, most guys had shorter sentences) all the duty warden's lined up to shake my hand and wish me luck.

#2) Fairfax County Jail - Northern VA - 4 days until I made bail of $10K - for 19 counts of aiding and abetting, B&E (breaking and entering) and receiving stolen property. Looking, worst case at 26 federal years. Ugh! Lived with some crazy dudes - 2 cab drivers, a Persian and a Mick - they'd take people to the airport - chat with them, find out how long they were away - we'd get their phone numbers and call in the deep am - nobody home, we'd hit the place. Surgical gloves, walkie-talkie's, dark outfits - pro stuff. Hey we were bored. Yes it was wrong - don't feel good about it at all - but did it. The cops pinned every unsolved, resident B&E in the entire county on us - but they only had highly circumstantial evidence (a partial number on a burned credit card) on one. The papers called us the Fairfax Phantoms. County jail, compared to Marine brig sucked big time - real fucking whack's in there - dangerous types. Lucky for three things - we had made a pact to deny, deny, deny - no matter what - and it worked through all the good cop, bad cop shit they threw at us - and - one of my partners father's happened to be the Marcus Wellby of Alexandria VA, very connected - and - we all had no records. Went to the prelim and the judge told me that if he ever saw me again he'd sent my ass away forever.

Never committed a serious crime since.

So - not really proud of the deeds - am proud of the lessons I learned, the people I met and the things I saw.

Always searchin' for perfection - and most of the time - in all the wrong places.

So, fellow board members - come clean - who's been in? DWI's? Mental facilities? Half-way houses? C'mon now.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Sorry babe, my past just isn't that sordid *sigh*

MuffMuff is a naughty muffin.

I spent some time in the Wichita Kansas county facility. Shhhhhhh, don't tell the dog, he thinks I'm perfect.

I remember it well, I was put into the "lounge" while they processed me, with a few lovely young creatures in for solicitin and four self professed members of the crips. They believed I was in for solicitin as well.

I had blood on my shirt, as I'd been picked up returning home from helping doctor my horse who'd had a nasty run in with a barbed wire fence. Yes, Muffy got evil, as usual.

I told them in a tiny little girl's voice that I was in cause I killed mommy with a axe and then and then I killed daddy cause with a axe too and then and then I got mommy's butcher knife and killed my brother. Suddenly my side of the room was empty.

The desk sergeant looked up and said in the most disgusted voice, "She's in for speeding."

Actually, driving on a suspended license due to speeding... but he ruined it anyway.

 

[Expertise]

Twice. Never charged either time and nothing quite so colorful as your experiences.

The first time in the the town where BobToad currently resides. Coming from "Old Home Week" got into a car with a buddy who was freakin' loaded (real dumb I know) got stopped by the mounties not too far outta' town. We were driving (not well mind you) in this New Yorker "land yacht" that he had borrowed from his father, a car with power everything. When the mountie approaced the door my idiot friend locked everything windows and doors and refused to exit the vehicle or roll down the window. The now rather incensed RCMP member and my friend (i'm liking him a lot less at this point) had to yell back and forth through the glass. In the space of about 10 seconds my buddy whips out a pint of rye that I didn't know he had, downs it and grabs a camera from the dash and starts taking pictures out the driver side window yelling the commercial jingle "I'm gonna' get ya' with the Kodak disk". At which point the mountie broke the window with his baton and hauled our young asses off to the detachment lock up/drunk tank. Though they threatened me with underage drinking they never followed through and only held me until the next morning when my very unhappy father picked me up. My friend never got his film back unfortunately.

The other incident occured in your fair land. A friend and I were returning home after a visit to Maine in his brand new Mustang GT. We were driving north on I-95 at the leisurely speed of 137mph (verified by radar) when some members of the Maine State Police decided that not only should we be pulled over, but taken in to custody at gunpoint...shotguns and all. Spent a lovely afternoon and evening in jail until I was released and was able to then bail out my friend. Guess the taken into custody at gunpoint part was kinda' exciting.

Ahhhh my misspent youth...I remember it fondly.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Man!!!!

Crips in Wichita????? What where they doin'? Dealing wheat?

And those Maine state trooper uniforms? Closest thing to Gestapo I've seen.

When in county - next sell, some guy isolated - he banged on the sheet metal bunks (they ring like a gong - they wouldn't let him have a mattress) all night long - all night!!!! And he would wash his close, after stripping naked and then through the wet garments at the guards. Fucking nut.

 

[Naked Hunny]

6 days in a juvenile detention center does that count cmon im only 20!!

charges woo want the list!! Hey at least they were all dropped!!

Attempted Murder
Possesion (hehe coke was my friend at 16)
Possesion of an illegal weapon (last time I date a damn Marine!!)
Underage drinking
driving with an open container
there were more but i dont even remember!!

Well they were all dropped why because when this all happened i was crashed (passed out) in the backseat of my boyfriends car!! Apparently he had gotten in a drunken brawl and almost killed this poor guy!! Of course the assholes girlfriend who i hated since oh forever said i want after her so that was the end of that imagine waking up to a gun pointed at you and someone yelling at you to get out of the car oh boy mommy was pissed!!

 

[Alyrahh]

I spent a small amount of time in the County jail. Really wasn't anything I actually did...but an extremely long story so I'll spare you the details.

I will say, it was a horrible experience. I look like hell in an orange jumpsuit. They stuck me in a cell with another woman. She must have weighed at least 300lbs and they didn't have a jumpsuit that would fit her.. so the lucky bitch got to wear her regular clothes, that pissed me off. Back then, you could smoke IF the the officer on duty allowed it, so they had given me two books of matches. My ugly, red-faced-from-crying cell mate promptly took the matches from me and ate every last one of them. I'm not sure why she did that, unless maybe she was hoping they would make her ill and they would have to transport her to the hospital?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Actually Spunkmaster Cricket, Wichita KS has an international airport thats been pipelining some stuff from mexico. All these little farm kiddies make a quick buck by planting the crap between the rows of real crops. Ever wonder why some tomatoes make ya feel real good? Thats not the reason. Its pretty nasty, the high school I briefly attended was famed for its "race riots" which were actually "drug turf" fisticuffs.

Drive the back highways around Wichita, specially some of the dirt roads, you'll see the stuff growing in the ditches.

 

[CW]

Short version,,, yes, once.

Long version follows;

Way back when, I attended college in northern Florida. The first year I lived on campus and was a miserable SOB,,, dorm life and I just didn't hit it off. I worked for a local contractor during the summer after that first year in an attempt to get money enough to rent a place off campus and still pay my way through school. In an act of rebellion I started to grow my hair longer that summer ( this was the early 70's boys and girls ) and I started dating a local girl that we'll call D',,, big no-no in that area of the US back then. Well, D' was an incredibly popular young lady from an established family,,, her only flaws, according to her family, were her artistic leanings and of course, dating a long haired hippie type dude.

By the end of the summer I had been promoted to construction foreman, was making $150.00 a week, and had located a small ( 3 bedroom, 2 storey) partially furnished old farm house to rent for $75.00 a month,,, No palace of course, but everything worked, it was weather tight, and it was quiet out there in the boonies. D' decided that she'd like to move in with me,,, she saw it as a golden opportunity to thumb her nose at her parents and the local community, and I was delighted with the prospect. Of course, the local thugs and bullies took it upon themselves to vocalize their out rage,,, which they did after a six pack or three of courage on most weekends. D' and I were doing fairly well financially, she sold some art work and I worked a 40 hour week, so we began hosting parties at our place for our friends at school. We became well known to the police about that time,,, even though I lived in the boonies, the local law would respond to my place with "complaints of noise" & "disturbing the peace",,, nothing ever came the visits though.

One night D' and I, along with four friends, were leaving a restaurant after celebrating her birthday and we were confronted with four of the local drunken boys in the parking lot. Faster than we could think the raised fists and shouting went straight to fighting. Well, I was already pissed off that the evening was being ruined,,, so I lashed out at the first guy I saw near enough to me, and MISSED!! So now I was really po'd and went for him again,,, and just grazed his head,,, so I swung again and connected with his throat this time, hard. Well he went bug eyed and beet red then dropped like a rock. YES !!! That worked so well that I tried it on another fellow and nearly got the hell beat out've me,,, by this time the law was on scene and one of the locals was making the case that I started the entire fight,,, after a minute or two of that crap I was just seeing red and really pissed, so I walked over to him and belted him in the throat as well,,, same results as the first guy ( who was up and walking around by now ) except this punk didn't get up.

I was charged and convicted of use of excessive force, fighting in public, and ( since this happened after 11 pm )disturbing the peace. Spent six months on the county work gang mowing grass and picking up litter and sixteen months on probation. The second "gentleman" that I nailed never pressed any charges though he spent about a week in the hospital. No one else was charged,,, and I was told that if I'd left well enough alone, instead of hitting the second clown AFTER the police were there, then there would've been no charges at all. SHEESH!!!

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

WOW!!! This is so cool....

How much about things we do learn via grand mishaps of our own or better yet - others.

Let's see - today (so far) we learned about Mid-West farm boys growing weed for Left Coast gangs. Fat women criminals don't get the orange jump suits. If yer just riding with someone doing 137mph - you're okay - unless you crash. Mounties can and do - get pissed off "I'll save you Nell." And, and - and - Naked Hunny, Naked Hunny (I'm a gentlemanly, former Marine, not like all the others) - I love you. Tell us - you must know some cool tricks - let us in on some.

Please!!!

 

[Cheri]

The closest I ever came to out and out illegal activity was shoplifting as Victoria's Secret. I was just 18 with a string of admiring boys and a deep and profound love for lingerie in all its forms. Since I was 18 and only stole less than $50 worth of stuff, I only had to pay a fine. Lucky me, cause if my policeman daddy would have found out, I wouldn't be here to tell the tale. I have since reformed and force my husband to fulfill my wants and needs. That's not to say I haven't done other illegal things, but thankfully, I've never been caught for any of them.

 

[Skibum]

I've never been in jail, but I worked as a teacher in a prison for sex offenders and violent offenders. Going through the gate for the first time is a feeling that I will always remember.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Yeah - the rush....

Some things - even bad things and sometimes especially bad things - like the first time I was locked up in Deuce Block, the solitary confinement cell-block of the brig.

When those bars electronically slid into place with a warning bell clanging and a metallic clunk - I got such a rush - such a shiver running up and down my spine - it's nearly indescribable.

It wasn't fear. It was a huge, positive thrill.

I don't know - maybe I watched too much - It Takes A Thief - when I was a kid. Maybe I heard too many family stories (legends maybe) of me being a distant cousin of the Younger's and my great grandma getting a spanking for playing with the neighboring farm kids, who happened to be fathered by Jesse James. (I was born in KC, Mo.) I just don't know - but criminal activity and fantasies of being a criminal have always run deep in my life.

And when those bars locked me up in solitary - I knew I was getting a relatively rare experience. I knew that for the rest of my life, the people I would generally be hanging around with - (I guess I knew I wouldn't be a career criminal.) - would, for the most part, not have this experience - but I would.

This unique perspective (in my current work-a-day world) among many others like it, provides me with insight into things and ideas that most others (at least in my circles) simply can't think. Most folks "can't go there."

I never regret these experiences - only the deeds that produced them.

 

[Xander]

I've had to spend a few nights in jail, and been picked up by the cops a few times as well.

Public intoxication (Speed, weed, coke, booze)
Assault (during the gang fights)
Possesion (coke, speed, weed)
Never been prosecuted though.

As I've mentioned before, I was a very fucked up teen, and I was part of a gang and I did a hell of a lot of dope from I was 14 till I was like 20.
So I've been in a lot of fights, and a whole lot of other shit.
Thankfully I got a rude wakeup call. Most of the guys I ganged with back then, is either dead, or hopelessly addicted to dope still. All but me and another guy got out in time. The rest do not have what qualifies for a life. Which is not that many. Most of them has OD'ed or been beaten to death.

Thogh it was a very bad time, and I feel like I have a whole lot to make up for still. It has made me the one I am today. And given me the strength to survive no matter what happens.