Who's been doing my wife?? (Fiction)

[greene14]

Come on then,

Which of you bastards has been doing my wife. I know one of you has! You were there today while I was at work.

Her name's Elaine and she's 5ft 2in with black hair.

Ring any bells??

 

[greene14]

Come on, I know you're there.

Or haven't you got the guts to tell me????

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

Elaine

See! I told you no one was "doing me"!
But you just don't believe me, do you?

Now stop ... you're just making a fool of yourself!

OOC:
Couldn't resist ... ::ggls::

 

[Veryknowing]

Next door neighbor

It was the guy posing as a statue in your bedroom (you know the one, covered in talcum powder and all that).

Psss - You want some pictures?

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*glares at neighbour and tries to pacify husband*

Pay no attention babe ... he's kidding... I mean ... how would he know what happens in our bedroom right?
Unless he's some voyeur ...

Just calm down ... there was no one here while you were at work... honest ...

*glares at neighbour warning him to hush up*

DM

 

[Silvergirl]

Neighbor's girlfriend, "Jessica"

Come on, honey, don't bother them like that.

I'm sorry about this, he's only joking. I'm sure everything's fine. Sorry, Elaine.

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*smiles warmly @Jessica*

Thanks ... I keep telling him ...

You know what men are like ... get things totally wrong ...

*winks at Jess*

Now ... hun ... *tries to calm husband down* ... can we just drop it now ...?

DM

 

[ImpWizard]

Pizza Guy

Ah, excuse me, is this number 69 Fukmeialot Street? I've brought the special order....oh....(sees angry & suspicious husband)...I'm sorry I meant 67 Fukmeialot Street! I must be reading this docket wrong.

(Head over to the next door neighbour's house while trying to act cool)

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*pales and tries to look innocent*

That pizza must be for Jessica ... * moves around trying to look unconcerned* ... What do you want for supper anyhow, hun?

*glances worriedly over hoping Jessica will confirm the "story"*

DM x

 

[lurkkk]

In comes the friendly milkman

Hello , a smile on his face ...till he sees Elaine's hubby and hastens after leaving the bottles of milk

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*smiles sweetly at husband*

.... what ?!?! ...



DM x

 

[Why]

Local Party Planner...

................

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*opens door and pales*

Ummm ... thanks ... that's great ... umm ...

Could you put the first crate there and the other ... umm .. yes... that's great ...

Thank you ....

*turns back to husband wondering if he overheard and writes mobile number on pad*

Be in touch when ... *gestures behind pretending to have a crick in the neck* ... isn't in ...

*aloud*

How kind ... yes... goodbye ...

*closes door and faces hubby*

Yesss?

DM x

 

[greene14]

HUSBAND

You're right honey, I'm sorry.

I guess I'm a little tired from work. How about I pop down the bar for a drink to loosen up. I'll see you in a couple of hours!!

 

[greene14]

Hubby in bar, 3 beers later, talking to best mate.

"You know, I was absolutely sure she was getting her brains f****d out by someone. Guess I was really stupid. I could have blown things there big time."

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*closes door on apologetic hubby*

Pheeewwwwww!


That was a close one ...

*pours looong glass of chilled white wine and relaxes back on the sofa eyeing the crates*

Now how many hours did he say ...?

DM x

 

[greene14]

hubby returns home earlier than expected, smashed and still apologetic

Hi honey I'm home,

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU??????

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

ooops

*Elaine looks up from the floor where she's sprawled naked surrounded by an array of sex toys, an empty bottle of wine and two glasses ... she glances anxiously at the male "visitor"*

"Ohhh ... hi baby! You're back early .... This is ...."

*Looks to her guest for inspiration*

(FUCK!!)

DM x

 

[greene14]

Hubby (sits down in shock)

So I was right all along you bitch, you whore.

YOU, sit the fuck still. Nobody's going anywhere. Let me get my head round this!!!!

OK (I)Honey(I) You'd better tell me what's going on!!!!

You you cunt, I said SIT STILL.

Now honey, from the top......................

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*inventing madly*

No ... you really should be more trusting babe ...

This guy ... he ... he's from the local sex shop ... seems my avon order and his got mixed up ... easily done ... so he came round to swap ... unfortunately my avon got lost enroute, but that's another story ... well ... by way of consolation ... he offered me a free sample .... of his goods... ya know ...?

*winks slighly at visitor*

Well ... as you know ... I know nothing about these things so ... he was just explaining .... giving me the odd demo ...

*shrugs*

See ... perfectly innocent ...

*smiles lovingly up at husband*

Which one do you like darling...?

Elaine x
(DM)

 

[ImpWizard]

Pizza Guy

"Aaaaaah....", he screams running in sheer terror down the street.

 

[greene14]

Still not satisfied

You're a lying whore.

They're your best white knickers there on the floor. You ONLY ever wear them for sex.

thinks for a sec

Ok, if that's how you want to play it.

YOU, if you're such a demonstrator, with your top off and your jeans undone I notice, why don't you show me, and HER, what that big one can do.

smiles broadly at LOVING wife

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*points to the cupboard where the pizza guy just sprang from*

What? Him?

Meter man ... he got lost ... I told him it was under the stairs ...!

*rolls eyes*

You just can't get the service these days!

Elaine

(DM x)

 

[DeliciousMaiden]

*eyes massive vibrator ... eyes massive demonstrator*

You don't want him to ...?

*blinks shocked up at husband*

And you're gonna do what? Watch?

Elaine

DM x

 

[greene14]

Smiles

You're the one who said he was giving you a demo honey

looks to demo guy

Now you, demo!!!!

And you honey are going to let him.

NOW!