Who wants questionable advice?

[Soma99]

For some reason an institution of higher learning has decided I am able to provide guidance and advice to young impressionable students. This will probably end horribly.

Anyways, who wants the same kind of questionable advice? Post your problem and I will give advice with little to no reguard to long term consequences, and with only 5% of the information needed to actually make a good decision.

If it's personal you can PM the question and I will post it here without your user name.

Alright, who's foolish enough to go first?

 

[BeeTeeTiger]

Hand raised. Me first please??

 

[Soma99]

Hand raised. Me first please??

When you ask for advice you should ask a question.

See I give great advice!!!!

 

[BeeTeeTiger]

Ok, so I have pm'd this person in the Lit forums, but they haven't responded. Should I re-pm?

Love your cynicism btw

 

[Soma99]

Ok, so I have pm'd this person in the Lit forums, but they haven't responded. Should I re-pm?

Love your cynicism btw

yes, resend a PM- but the second time should only be a cryptic message such as "the orca has the sandwich and is well lit."

 

[BeeTeeTiger]

Great thanks

 

[bunny4med]

do i have to pretend to be young and impressionable in order to ask a question?

 

[plesmore]

I have ignored a certain gentleman's advances over and over, but I would like a free meal tonite. Should I call him?

 

[HumasWanderingWeiner]

yes, resend a PM- but the second time should only be a cryptic message such as "the orca has the sandwich and is well lit."

BY the way, this is good advice to anyone reading this. It works.

 

[Soma99]

do i have to pretend to be young and impressionable in order to ask a question?

No, but acting that way is an excellent way to get out of math class if you are in high school. Most High School Guidance Counselors are desperate for someone to listen to them and will let you skip out on the whole class if you nod your head ever five minutes or so.

 

[Soma99]

I have ignored a certain gentleman's advances over and over, but I would like a free meal tonite. Should I call him?

Yes, but you should already be at the restaurant you want to eat at. Don't let him pick.

"Hey big guy, I'm over at ----insert over priced place you would never pay for yourself--- do you want to stop by?"

Also tell him on the phone you have to leave by a certain time, then when you stay 30 minutes longer he feels like he got something extra and isn't disappointed you didn't do dirty stuff with him.

 

[FriendlyCuriousGuy]

Yes, but yo ushould alrrady be at the resturant you want to eat at. Don't let him pick.

"Hey big guy, I'm over at ----insert over priced place you would never pay for yourself--- do you want to stop by?"

Also tell him on the phone you have to leave by a certain time, then when you stay 30 minutes longer he feels like he got something extra and isn't disappointed you didn't do dirty stuff with him.

This is actually pretty brilliant

 

[Soma99]

This is actually pretty brilliant

I SAID QUESTIONABLE, NOT BAD!!!!!!!

 

[HumasWanderingWeiner]

I know this girl and she likes to recommend porn to me. Midget, um, Little People, Porn. She hates it when I call them midgets. I'm not really into Little People porn, what should I do?

 

[RacyWilde]

*

If I'm horny and none of my regular sexting buddies are available, should I go through my list of unsolicited contacts or make a new advertisement on Lit?

I love this! You are like a magic 8 ball...lol.

 

[Erik_Northman]

I sent this girl a dick pic that may or may not have been slightly doctored (and by slightly I mean severely). She now wants to meet up in person, fully confident I have a 13 inch schlong. What should I do?

 

[Nidan]

I just love this thread's title.

 

[Soma99]

I know this girl and she likes to recommend porn to me. Midget, um, Little People, Porn. She hates it when I call them midgets. I'm not really into Little People porn, what should I do?

YOU LEAVE MY PERSONAL HABITS OUT OF THIS!!!!

That's the last time I tell you a secret about myself!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Should I pay for a monthly subscription to an escort service where every month a different escort tracks me down and seduces me in my daily life?

 

[Soma99]

*

If I'm horny and none of my regular sexting buddies are available, should I go through my list of unsolicited contacts or make a new advertisement on Lit?

I love this! You are like a magic 8 ball...lol.

1- never hesitate to message the creator of this thread. That slut with sext with anyone.

2- use both but make it a talent contest. Send a message to a few of them and then decide the winner who you will sext with. Example:

"You have 15 minutes to send me a link to the cutest baby animal you can find. Whoever sends the cutest one gets to hear about how I groom my pussy."

Also send me ALL the baby animal pictures.

 

[Soma99]

I sent this girl a dick pic that may or may not have been slightly doctored (and by slightly I mean severely). She now wants to meet up in person, fully confident I have a 13 inch schlong. What should I do?

Alright. This is going to be the most questionable advice yet.

I'm gonna start by saying I think our military is filled with amazing people who deserve much more then they get. (You see, this is going to go in an odd direction)

Ok- this is what you do, it's terrible but you have no choice. Get a military knock off coat or something. Wear it to meet the girl. Tell her you were saving a school full of poor children when a bomb went off and destroyed your monster cock. This new cock is all the VA will pay for because we are so cheap with our veterans. GOD DAMN IT!we need to support them better!

Also tell her that you have never been able to get it up. Then go down on her. She will feel like an American hero when you get hard.

Fuck you just got a serious look at how dark my soul is.

 

[Viper_Red_2000]

1- never hesitate to message the creator of this thread. That slut with sext with anyone.

2- use both but make it a talent contest. Send a message to a few of them and then decide the winner who you will sext with. Example:

"You have 15 minutes to send me a link to the cutest baby animal you can find. Whoever sends the cutest one gets to hear about how I groom my pussy."

Also send me ALL the baby animal pictures.

This is the best advice I've seen so far lol and btw, how did I add my name to said contact list racy? Lol

 

[Soma99]

Should I pay for a monthly subscription to an escort service where every month a different escort tracks me down and seduces me in my daily life?

Mother fucker!!!!!

This is a fucking thing????? I have to compete with motherfucking paid escorts now???? How the fuck am I ever gonna get a date???



Obviously you should do this, this is fucking amazing. What a time to be a man!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Mother fucker!!!!!

This is a fucking thing????? I have to compete with motherfucking paid escorts now???? How the fuck am I ever gonna get a date???



Obviously you should do this, this is fucking amazing. What a time to be a man!

I thought it was suppose to be a hypothetical question for fun. No worries, I don't think that type of escort service even exists. You'll still be able to get dates.

Note to self: start specialized escort service

 

[HumasWanderingWeiner]

*

If I'm horny and none of my regular sexting buddies are available, should I go through my list of unsolicited contacts or make a new advertisement on Lit?

I love this! You are like a magic 8 ball...lol.

You want to watch midget porn with Soma and me some time?