Who knows you write erotica?

[Emirus]

Someone recently commented (my apologies to them. I can’t remember who it was) they had two pseudonyms but only one of them was known to other people. He kept the other one to himself. I already know some of the contributors to the AH have people who know they write erotica.

There is only one person who knows I write erotica. She’s not my wife, a member of my family or a friend. I keep my hobby secret from everyone of my direct acquaintance. She’s another writer of erotica and I became friendly with her through this site and the friendship had gone to a very detailed level. I live in England and she lives in America and we’ve never met and are very unlikely to do so in the future. She knows my real name and I know her’s. We know where each other lives. We know details of each other’s families. I know who knows she writes erotica and she knows that she is the only one who knows I write. She knows I’m retired and my age and I know her age and what both her and her husband do for a living. We’ve shared many intimate, and very personal, details of our lives and we’ve exchanged birthday/Christmas cards via email.

Would I make anyone else aware of my hobby? Never. Certainly not my wife. Some friends might like it and want to read my stories. Others would find it disgusting. Possibly/probably one of them/some of them already read this site. Possibly one of them actually contributes stories. I have no idea.

So my question to you is does anyone, except yourself, know you write erotic stories? Did you tell them or did they accidentally discover your secret? If they aren’t people who know you in real life, if they are also writers on this site how did you come into contact with each other and to what extent do you know details of each other’s real life? Not necessarily to the extent my friend and myself know.

I’m not expecting you to go into sufficient detail to allow anyone, either on here or in your real life, to identify you. I’m just interested as against just being nosey.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

A few close friends know (thinking about it, that's friends close enough that I've had sex with them, so I suppose in that context, writing erotica is less shocking!) I had a couple stories published in an anthology nearly 20 years ago.

I think my partner and two friends know I post here. Partner's take on it is "you're weird, you are, but I love you", with the occasional "can't you make some money out of this?"

If anyone I know on Fetlife asked, I'd give them my username here.

 

[TxRad]

At my age, if you ask, I'll tell ya. Beware the questions you ask.

 

[Jada59]

Probably not everyone I know but I don't keep it a secret either.

 

[Brutal_One]

Just one other close friend. It will probably stay that way ‘TIL my dying day. I still find it amusing at times that there have been well noted celebrities that have written erotica under a pseudonym because of the assumed stigma of writing such material. Bob Monkhouse a uk celebrated comedian and game show host also wrote erotica under a pseudonym.

Brutal One

 

[Thenaughtypen]

What a great question?

I'm new to this and I have thought about who I might tell, if anyone.

Frankly, the idea of my friends, family, or people I work with becoming aroused at stuff that was in my head is something I would find difficult to deal with. Kids? NO WAY AT ALL. (shudder).

However, I would love to get an opinion from someone I trust. I'd love to laugh about the absurdity of what I enjoy doing over a coffee. A nice rating is fun and all, but someone saying to your face that they loved it - well, I like that.

This is a fun distraction away from a bad dose of non erotica writers block. I just had to keep writing and chucking out fantasy has become really helpful. Exploring things from angles I literally don't have all the bits to do, is pure fiction and a great 'sandpit'.

So - long answer, but no-one and will very most likely stay that way.

 

[MelissaBaby]

My close friends know. My husband. My grandmother reads everything I write, hell, she’s my go-to advisor now that my characters are getting older. My mother knows, but won’t read it.

 

[roxymoves]

Hi Emirus--you might be thinking of me (though there may be others); I posted a couple days ago that I have 2 pen names, 1 for more mainstream erotica, like mature and erotic coupling, and 1 for less mainstream stuff, like non-consent and incest. I've done this so I can be open, if I want, about sharing my passion with friends and giving them the first pen name without revealing the other stuff I write if I'm not ready to. In terms of who knows I write, my husband reads everything. I have one good friend who knows about the first pen name. Also, I'm a swinger, and I have chosen to share the first pen name with some lovers because it kindles the erotic process--they get really turned on when they read my work. But I don't reveal my second pen name to most of these folks--I don't need a new lover thinking I want him to do all kinds of non-consent things to me (since, as we know, readers do tend to bleed our writing into who they think we actually are).

P.S. I love your story of your relationship with the person who knows about your writing. It takes a lot of time and trust to build such a relationship.

 

[Emirus]

My close friends know. My husband. My grandmother reads everything I write, hell, she’s my go-to advisor now that my characters are getting older. My mother knows, but won’t read it.

You’re mother won’t read it, Melissa? She’s really missing out. My Fall and Rise might be something she might not enjoy reading, because of it being so personal, but not Mary and Alvin. You don’t write smut and maybe she doesn’t realise that and because she thinks it is smutty she won’t read it. It’s nice to hear your grandmother reads everything you write. My friend’s mother is the same. My friend also writes “proper stories” but with appropriate sex as do you.

Her husband knows but just lets her get on with it. He can’t anyway. Not with the blindfold, the ball gag, and the handcuffs!

 

[MelissaBaby]

You’re mother won’t read it, Melissa? She’s really missing out. My Fall and Rise might be something she might not enjoy reading, because of it being so personal, but not Mary and Alvin. You don’t write smut and maybe she doesn’t realise that and because she thinks it is smutty she won’t read it. It’s nice to hear your grandmother reads everything you write. My friend’s mother is the same. My friend also writes “proper stories” but with appropriate sex as do you.

Her husband knows but just lets her get on with it. He can’t anyway. Not with the blindfold, the ball gag, and the handcuffs!

I know, right? Especially since my mother was the one who encouraged me to start writing again.

My grandmother is my best friend.

From My Fall and Rise, Chapter 9

At last, I spotted my grandmother. She was barely five feet tall and didn't weight much more than one hundred pounds. Her hair was silver, but she had dyed a magenta streak above one ear. She was wearing a trench coat that scraped the ground and a pair of Converse All Stars. She was leaning against a pillar that was adorned with a No Smoking sign. There was a cigarette hanging out of the corner of her mouth.

I lugged my suitcases over to where she stood.

"Hi Grandma."

She looked up at me. "About time you got here, kiddo. Come on, let's go get a beer and your first taste of real pizza."

I knew that we would get along just fine.

 

[Omenainen]

Spooky timing, I was just thinking about this today. Are you reading my mind?

I haven’t told anyone in my real life and I don’t intend to. I need this for myself, and if I knew someone I knew was reading it would influence my writing. And if I told even that I was writing someone might dig it out, so I don’t. (And if my spouse asked to read them I don’t know if I could decline.) I’ve got one friend I can imagine could write here, and I would love to discuss it with her, but since I can’t imagine it wouldn’t spread I’m not gonna ask her. And I don’t know if it would be worse if IRL people were masturbating to my stories or if they wouldn’t be.

What I find peculiar is that after taking the trouble to create this secret private playground I still find myself hanging around here, chatting away with all of you fine folks. Like I still need to talk about it, just not with people I actually know.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Only one person knows, who's also an author here. If someone could be bothered to trawl through my posts, they could make an educated guess.

It wouldn't affect me career-wise, but really the only person I want to keep it secret from is my wife. And that's mainly because of my choice of story first up. Having sex with our niece? No amount of explanation about how it really, really is only fiction would convince her.

 

[WoodmanStark]

What I find peculiar is that after taking the trouble to create this secret private playground I still find myself hanging around here, chatting away with all of you fine folks. Like I still need to talk about it, just not with people I actually know.

SAME. I wrote my first story for myself only, but once I'd started I still felt the need to show it off so I ended up here.

Like Emirus, I tell nobody I know, not even my wife (especially not my wife.)
Unlike Emirus, I don't have a confidante here. Maybe I will someday - I'm still new here. But Woodman Stark must never be traceable to my meatspace identity, so my real name is off the table.

 

[Brutal_One]

I know, right? Especially since my mother was the one who encouraged me to start writing again.

My grandmother is my best friend.

From My Fall and Rise, Chapter 9

Brilliant to hear. Most of us will realise in particular as we get older and hopefully wiser that it is all about family and friends, and friends that are especially close to you are family anyway.

That’s touched me though just so as you know

Brutal One

 

[HeyYoureThatGuy]

I just started posting stories here, and the only one who knows is my wife. It's probably gonna stay that way so I can keep my 'professional' life separate from this, which is more fun and low stakes writing. So far, it's been cool that my first story has been well received, but like if something bombs here, it doesn't really matter beyond my fragile ego.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

I know, right? Especially since my mother was the one who encouraged me to start writing again.

My grandmother is my best friend.

From My Fall and Rise, Chapter 9

She sound amazing. We all need grandmothers like that!

 

[jehoram]

There is only one person who knows I write erotica. She’s not my wife, a member of my family or a friend. I keep my hobby secret from everyone of my direct acquaintance. She’s another writer of erotica and I became friendly with her through this site and the friendship had gone to a very detailed level. I live in England and she lives in America and we’ve never met and are very unlikely to do so in the future.

(My 2000th post! Where did the time go?)

My answer is almost exactly the same. She's a dear friend that I've known almost forty years. And, interestingly, she once lived in England for a while, although we both live in California now. And I have met her, and still see her from time to time. She also writes erotica, and we edit each other's works.

And she's the only one who knows, AFAIK.

 

[WoodmanStark]

My answer is almost exactly the same. She's a dear friend that I've known almost forty years. And, interestingly, she once lived in England for a while, although we both live in California now. And I have met her, and still see her from time to time. She also writes erotica, and we edit each other's works.

And she's the only one who knows, AFAIK.

I envy both you and Emirus these relationships. Like I said, I'm new here so I don't have such a one. Maybe in time I will... or not. Any friendship has to grow organically; it can't be made to happen.

[EDIT]
I've had that kind of close personal online friendship once, about 20 years ago. I actually believe I fell in love with her, and while my affection wasn't returned, I believe she valued my friendship as much as I valued hers.
My passion cooled once I'd become involved with the woman who is now my wife, but the friend and I are still friends and keep in touch on Facebook. And yes, the wife knows all about her.

 

[KeithD]

My erotica publishers. And only one of them knows who I really am.

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

The thousands of people who have read my stories here and on other sites. They know.

The hundreds of people who follow me on Twitter. They know.

My physical Therapist knows I write, but not the subject matter.

Wife and kids and other family and friends. Some know I write but not many. Most are religious and don't appreciate smut. Besides may of them appear in my stories, and would not appreciate their depictions.

 

[jennaflower]

I haven’t posted a story in 18 years or so...

The only people who know I write are those who have read them here (and at a similar online location), some of which I have gotten to know after the fact and my older sister. Nobody else...

 

[vanmyers86]

My circle has widened over the years. It used to be just a few trusted friends, but now a couple of family members know, a few colleagues, several friends, and so on. I don't advertise it, and I am circumspect with acquaintances and the majority of my coworkers, but I no longer feel like I need to keep a lid on it.

MelissaBaby, lucky you to have that loving and trusting relationship in your life! My grandmother was a rigid fundamentalist, and she would have spontaneously combusted if she knew. I didn't start writing erotica until after her death, though.

 

[MelissaBaby]

My circle has widened over the years. It used to be just a few trusted friends, but now a couple of family members know, a few colleagues, several friends, and so on. I don't advertise it, and I am circumspect with acquaintances and the majority of my coworkers, but I no longer feel like I need to keep a lid on it.

MelissaBaby, lucky you to have that loving and trusting relationship in your life! My grandmother was a rigid fundamentalist, and she would have spontaneously combusted if she knew. I didn't start writing erotica until after her death, though.

I am lucky indeed. My grandmother was (still is) a hippie.

 

[BarracudaSwordfish]

Only one

A great friend of mine shared a secret with me a few years ago. I reciprocated with my Lit work.

I can't imagine many others would understand.

 

[BelleCanzuto]

No one. 'Cept y'all...
The one person I know who wouldn't be scandalized can't keep secrets to save her life, and loves gossip. So, it'd take about 8 hours before everyone I know would know.