Who is sexualy under age......

[Known as Romeo on Lit]

Know that I am coming from the phsycological point of view and need no critisism or judment. My mind is very open and free having been through a lot of problems in my life that most want even think of. I have never been involved in a case such as this or ever plan to. The question is who really is under sexual age? Of course little kids that have not matured with the right organs would fall into this group. But really though we think little if a younger boy has intercouse big deal and it only makes the news if his family finds out and sews. Most males fantasize about this happening to them even as a boy that is all I wanted and still would like is to fuck a professor. Yet if it happens to a younger girl it is very bad for both parties especially the male. Do we not think girls have such thoughts? I know woman that are very sexualy active at a young age. If it is asked for by a younger person is it ok? If it is initated by the younger is it ok? And the most important question is do we think it is wrong or do we say its wrong because we are told its wrong. Here I am asking you to really step back and take a look at yourself.

One and only,
~Romeo~

 

[emperorchaz]

Some of my greatest fantasies from 5th grade on up were of some of my teachers! As a typical boy, I had some really hot teachers, and if one of them had made an advance to me, I would have jumped all over it. I really have a problem with, as in the case in Oregon, it being called abuse in the case of an older woman with a younger guy. You going to tell me that boy felt abused? I'm telling you, he felt great! And no doubt in my mind either. I found myself re-thinking a lot of my old fantasies when that story hit the news, and every time another similar does...the lucky little stiffs SMILES just my opinion

 

[Guest]

depends

well i guess this is a question about our morals as a society and individual. A majority of "our" society believes that sex should only occur out of an act of love, and should be cherished. This same majority also believes that younger adolescents have not lived long enough to experience love and recognize love. Personally I feel that each individual scenerio is unique. Some people are not ready for the responsibilities of sex: birth control, condoms, std's and pregnancy. Many young people just jump into sex, myself included. Some adolescents are more mature and know how to protect themselves. Furthermore if an individual wants to have sex for pure pleasure than so be it, as long as both parties know the deal. The concepts and ethics of our society are begining to change and manifest into a more open culture where sex will no longer be so taboo and over-emphasized.

 

[Known as Romeo on Lit]

Still a long way to go!!!!!

My feeling are also that each individual is free to make that decision, no matter the age (down to a point). I would personaly never reer my children in the same way as I, just in the best way I thought possible. Just because it worked for me does not meen it will work for somebody else.

I too have always intertained fantasys about my teacher sense the second grade. I was sexualy active at a very young age; although, I never had intercouse untill I was 21. Having a sister a couple of years older than I, helped! Woman usually want to be with an older man which is one reason why men mostly come out as the evil ones. And you can't tell me their not, just look at how the courts jude custedy. Well, that is enough of my thought for now.

One and Only,
~Romeo~

 

[MissTaken]

Now I will sound prudish, but

I dont' believe teen agers are ready to make adult decisions. Having intercourse is an adult decision.

Why?

Because there are adult consequences. The first and obvious consequence has to do with becoming a parent while you are still a kid.

Another consequence, STD's. For a young lady who has never even had a paps smear to seek out medical attention for an STD is a novelty.

Thirdly, emotionally, sex is an adult decision. Young people have sex, have fun and then, someone thinks they are in love. They know not what to do with it. Teen agers are becoming involved in relationships that mimic adult relationships every day. In the good old days, "crushes" were te thing. NOw, it is "I am in love and we will be married and have three kids and a house and ..."

In the extreme, these relationships mimic negative relationships. Domestic violence among teens is skyrocketting.

Young people lack the emotional maturation, the resources or stability to embark on sexual relationships.

I am not criticizing anyone who had intercourse at a young age. I am generalizing.....
Furthermore, children in this generation lack structure and responsibility as was available to my generation and more so available to my mother's.

Chastity belts, I say!!! Give them all chastity belts!

 

[Shoshi]

i dont know why older people always think that young people arent mature enough to make their own decisions, these days i find it is more the opposit way around, younder people are more mature then older people, we may lack some experience but we know what we want, and we know how to go about getting it

why is sex an adult decision, personally i feel that noone has the right to tell me what to do, especially when it comes to my body,
your saying that there are adult consequences? but these days we are more prepred for these consequences then adults are, we are educated to the fact and are prepared for it all through our teens, adults had nothing accept their parents words, which as we all know mean very little.

how can anyone say that adults know their feelings better then a teen? ive spoken to numerous adults who have told me that the feelings are different every time, adults now their feelings no better then teens know theirs.

why should domestic violence between teens be more prevented then domestic violence between adults? i can defend myself better then most adults in this country why? because ive trained from an early age to defend myself, i took an active interest in my welfare from a young age and if any adults think they can call me immature then they dont know me very well.

im completely independent from my parents and i run my own life, am i prepared for a sexual relationship? would you call me mature enough for a relationship with a girl who i truly believe that i care about? will you generalise against young people because all you read in the news and statistics are the failures? girls who have gone out at a young age and got pregnant and not been able to look after the child, you never hear about the young people who actually have a happy family set up by the age of 23, like my cousin, who had a child at the age of 17 married his girl at 19 and now has a decent job, 2 children and a house at 22
was he immature?

can any of the adults out there say that they truly are prepared for teh consequences of their actions? if they are, would they ever be in fear of even when they know what they want, and what can happen, being told by somone older then them, who thinks they know better that they are "too young to really know that they want and are about to ruin their lives"

 

[Known as Romeo on Lit]

Very good points both of you!!!!!

This is exactly what kind of discussion I was trying to inspire. I have heard from an adault that is against and young person for, I want to see if I can get the oppisite of each also. So please if you have friends that might be interested do speak to them and be sure to check back in and see haw the discussion is going. Please frain from getting hostile. Good job, I might use this in my college Soc class.

MissTaken, I agree with you and your views. I can not speake for young girls so I do appriciate you thoughts. When I was a younger male many of the girls were interested in much older boys, though there was an age differece much went on. My best friend is a girl and had one such relationship. That really pist me off at the time (high school) because she new how much I cared for her. But all I can do is keep faith that the good guy always wins.

One & Only,
Romeo

 

[Shoshi]

i agree that tere are bad cases, where young people make big mistakes in relationships, but these may not be as common as u think, they are only in the public view because of bias media overexposure

 

[carrie-on]

Speaking as an adult who started having sex when I was 13, and looking back now,there are times I wish I would have waited and others I am glad I didn't.
I was a real hell-raiser when I was a teen and when I look back now as a parent, I can see the heartbreak that I caused my parents when I ran away from home and would be gone for months at a time. I got pregnant when I was 15 and my folks were supportive of me when I decided to keep the baby. I credit having this baby with helping me grow up (albeit a little early) and I have not been in any trouble with the cops since. This baby is now 28 and is married with a family of her own. Did I make the right decision? Yes, I did.

 

[Known as Romeo on Lit]

I agree with all and disagree....

I agree with Misstaken that some people are not ready for sexual intercouse. I also agree with many points shoshi makes. You are forgetting that it isn't those who take care of their family it is those who don't.

Carrie-on you should never wish something else had happened in your past for that is what makes you you. Ever timy experience is what makes us all different.

In truth I belive in some of the most harsh punishments for someone that puts burdens on society. We aren't hear to support others kids, themselves, or laziness (no offense to anyone inparticular).

This is a good place to bring up the fact that I am doing a Sociology report for college on Areas with A Declining Economy does it Effect Child Abuse? My presumtions are that it does among other factors such as drugs and former abuse.

One & Only,
~Romeo~

 

[ifitsfundoit]

We live in world where there are rules. In the UK, my original home land, until recently, the following statutes were in place.

At 16, you could have heterosexual intercourse, kill for your country, and buy a packaet of ciggies.

At 17, you could learn to drive a car on public highways.

At 18, you could by alcohol

At 21, you could have homosexual sex (now 18...i think)

At 25, you could become a taxi driver (mostly because of insurance).

A point was raised earlier about adult decisions, and on the whole I agree with the comments.

The real issue is when do we become "adults"? In the UK, apparently this is 16. I'm 33 now, and still don't feel responsible enough to have a child. I guess that when I do, I will grow up in the same way that many other parents have, by having it forced on them by pregnancy.

Does this mean I am not an "adult"? Probably not.

Being reponsible for another's welfare is significantly more important (IMHO) than being able to buy a bottle of beer, and yet the law would suggest otherwise.

The big difference between myself and a teenager is that I can afford to have a child. This is undoubtedly a callous attitude to the miracle that is child birth, but in the "developed" world, it is a serious consideration.

Sadly, reality tells us that there are any number of people having children, married or otherwise, that cannot afford to. This leads not only to increased poverty, both in the West and the less developed countries.

Based on this simple view of things, surely it is reasonable to say that anyone under, lets say 25, should not be old enough to have sex. How can they be, they cannot AFFORD the possible consequences?

This is, of course, an unreasonable example. And yet it is still food for thought.

We live in a commercialised world, and that affects our daily lives, wether we like it or not.

The laws of our lands have "evolved " over many years, and I personally believe that they set a "reasonable" standard for the majority to follow. There will always be exceptions, as with any rule, but for the majority they are about right.

16 is old enough for the majority to understand the consequence of their actions. They certainly have a brain that is developed sufficiently for that.

If we do not educate them properly, then we should look to ourselves.

Just my two cents

 

[Shoshi]

i guess the main question is 'how do you define an adult?', is it simply a physical state of age? 18+ a state of maturity, or is it an accumulation of age, wisdom and maturity? if so some people will never be adults, and some young people are already adults

the UK's age restrictions now look like this:

12: watch mildly violent and verbal films
14: male sexual consentual age
15: watch violent and verbally explicit films
16: smoke and buy a lottery ticket, female sexual consentual age
17: drive a car
18: alcohol, watch sexually explicit films
21: get a HGV/pilots licence

i dont believe in america's age restrictions on drinking and watching sexual films, you can get married and not be able to have a drink at your reception, and if you can have sex from 18 then why stop someone from watching it?

i have never been one to fall into the majority that is society, it is frowned upon to have a child in your teens, but i dont care, noone is going to stop me fathering a child if my sweetheart and i want to, i live my life how i choose, i believe this is one of my biggest strenghts, even if it can be a weakness too

 

[MissTaken]

i agree that tere are bad cases, where young people make big mistakes in relationships, but these may not be as common as u think, they are only in the public view because of bias media overexposure

These situations may be more common in the US? Perhaps not?

Perhaps you are feeling defensive by my generalizations. In using that term, I simply wanted to clarify that there are times and there are young people who are ready to make these decisions.

I am not standing in judgement.

As for how can I say these things? 13 years working with teenagers or parents who had children in their teens. I am a social worker and perhaps, in reference to the quote I selected, I see only the worst of the worst.

However, four years ago, I did a study at our local department of socials services.

In 76 percent of the families wherein abuse and neglect had been proven, NOT simply alleged, the parents had had at least one child in their teens.

I was Director of a program for teen agers at risk. I was saddened by how obsessed teen age girls could become with moving thier relationship with their boyfriend into a live in, have a baby and a home situation at the risk and detriment to other important things...i.e. schooling, safety etc.

So that is HOW I can say this.

I am not judging and yes, some of my best friends had children in their teens and are wonderful parents.

I simply don't believe that a 15 year old should add the stress of a highly charged emotional and sexual relationship to the other many stressors faced by a teen. i.e. school, peer pressure, self image etc.

I am sorry if you misinterprated my post and I was well aware upon posting that someone would become angry, but it is only this.

My opinion based upon observation and experience.

Take care. I hope you and your sweetheart do find all the happiness in the world.

Miss T

 

[Bug Eyed Monster]

.