Who is responsible.....

HoldenMcCrank

This space for Rent
Joined
Nov 30, 2001
Posts
2,654
for your orgasm? Are you or is it your partners responsibility? Who is to blame if you don't cum?

Holden
 
HoldenMcCrank said:
for your orgasm? Are you or is it your partners responsibility? Who is to blame if you don't cum?

Holden

As a person who have never had an orgasm through intercourse, I have had to find other means of reaching orgasm. Oral is a good way, and vibes and other toys. Don't get me wrong .... I DO get turned on by fucking.... I just have never been able to cum.

If I do not TELL my partner this, then it is my own fault. If I tell him and he does nothing about it, then it is his fault and also mine for staying with someone so selfish they care about only their pleasure.
 
Re: Re: Who is responsible.....

SilverVeil said:


As a person who have never had an orgasm through intercourse, I have had to find other means of reaching orgasm. Oral is a good way, and vibes and other toys. Don't get me wrong .... I DO get turned on by fucking.... I just have never been able to cum.

If I do not TELL my partner this, then it is my own fault. If I tell him and he does nothing about it, then it is his fault and also mine for staying with someone so selfish they care about only their pleasure.

Yep. What she said:)

Cassidy
 
Holden - I get the impression

you are having a difficult time getting your partner off. Quit trying to assign blame and TALK to her about how to successfully bring her to orgasm.
 
blame, what blame

Who is to blame if you don't cum?


Its not a contest. Maybe you are to blame if this is the way you think. Relax, enjoy and see what happens!
 
We are all responsible for our own orgasm's, I don't expect my partner to make me orgasm, any more than he expects me to make him cum; after all it takes two to tango.
We have discussed our needs and desires and know what will send the other 'over the edge', that is the first step of being responsible for our own orgasms. If I had of chosen to keep my mouth shut and then blamed him if I didn't orgasm that would be my own fault....now that he knows he has no excuse!
 
I would love to

have her tell me what she "needs" and I have asked, many times! I either get the " you know what I like" answer. Or I don't orgasm so don't worry about me. I am sorry but I just have a problem with accepting that.

How would you feel if your lover said that it wasn't important for them to cum?

Holden
 
For some people, orgasm isn't the 'goal' of sex.

girl
 
Re: I would love to

HoldenMcCrank said:
have her tell me what she "needs" and I have asked, many times! I either get the " you know what I like" answer. Or I don't orgasm so don't worry about me. I am sorry but I just have a problem with accepting that.

How would you feel if your lover said that it wasn't important for them to cum?

Holden

Hey Holden, don't beat yourself up over this. A lot of women are not able to orgasm with their partner, especially with only intercourse. Your girlfriend sounds like she is shy about her needs, try asking her in a different way....."is this nice, do you like this" instead of asking her outright. Try mutual masturbation, massages, get inventive sooner or later she will relax enough to show you what she needs.

Even though she hasn't had an orgasm it doesn't mean that she didn't enjoy the experience.
 
Re: I would love to

HoldenMcCrank said:
have her tell me what she "needs" and I have asked, many times! I either get the " you know what I like" answer. Or I don't orgasm so don't worry about me

I've been having a similar problem. My man isn't very open when it comes to talking about sex. So here's what I've been doing, maybe it will help you. First, I've been reading and asking questions about technique's and what other like. This board is great for getting answers about oral and other things. Also, during foreplay I've been asking him SPECIFIC questions. Instead of asking "What do you like? What do you want?" I've been asking things like "Do you like it better when I kiss or nibble? Do you like it better when I kiss you here or here?". Patients is very important if your with someone who isn't yet comfortable with being very open about thier sexuality. I didn't get many answers to the questions when I asked them because he said he'd like time to think about them when he's not so distracted. I didn't take that bad, what I did do is make a "date" to talk about them. I let him set the time (nearly a week later). You wont always get your answers right away and sometimes they will be learned with a more hands on approach but with some time and work (what a relationship is all about) you will get them. And your sex life will be better for it.

Good luck!
 
Back
Top