Who has the power in a D/s relationship?

[pink]

i am sure this has been asked before, but i am curious to opinions. Does the sub or the Dom/Domme have the real power in D/s?

 

[FurryFury]

Well, in my opinion the sub has the power and the Dom/me has the power thier own personal power. When the subgives the power to the Dom/me her or she then has it for whatever length of time or circumstances were agreed on.

*waits to be dogpiled*

Fury

 

[pink]

Well, in my opinion the sub has the power and the Dom/me has the power thier own personal power. When the subgives the power to the Dom/me her or she then has it for whatever length of time or circumstances were agreed on.

*waits to be dogpiled*

Fury

i feel the same way, we may be the only ones on here that do though.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i feel the same way, we may be the only ones on here that do though.

i don't think you'll be the only ones. i do agree that the sub holds the 'ultimate' power in the relationship, being that she gave over that control, and since it is illegal to have a 'slave' well if she wants to 'revoke' the control at any time she can. of course for a lot of couples, this just isn't an option...but my opinion is the submissive holds it...it's a good question, but i'm sure a touchy one here on Lit

 

[Evil_Geoff]

i am sure this has been asked before, but i am curious to opinions. Does the sub or the Dom/Domme have the real power in D/s?

There is a reason we call a Dominant/submissive or Master/slave relationship a "power exchange relationship"

The people involved have their own personal power and bring it to the relationship. The submissive or slave surrenders some, or all, of that personal power to the direction, control and authority of the Dominant/Owner. The terms of that surrender of personal power and control are discussed and agreed upon by the parties involved.

Who really has the power?

The person who has the strength of will to end the relationship.

 

[Giallorossi]

Who really has the power?

The person who has the strength of will to end the relationship.

Excellent post! But especially this part.

 

[Otto26]

Consent to participate. The submissive ultimately holds the real power in the relationship. Dominants get the illusion of control.

 

[amadaun]

Is pie an option? Ultimately, I think pie holds the power in any D/s relationship.

 

[Otherhalves]

We share!

 

[FurryFury]

i feel the same way, we may be the only ones on here that do though.

I wanted to be dogpiled.

Oh well people agreeing is cool too.

LOL!

*smiles*

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

The person who has the strength of will to end the relationship.

Wow.

I don't like that at all. And btw, that's so not me!

Call me powerless Fury.

Fury

 

[Wyldfire]

Here's a side question. Has anyone ever had a Dom/Domme safe word out on you?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to agree in part with EG's closing line, but for me the reason I entered this type relationship was so the PYL held all the power and that is the way it is. If I wanted to remain in the position of holding ultimate power I would have stayed vanilla 'cause it seems most I dated were more than happy to have me in the position of power in terms of the relationship and how it evolved....that is not where I'm at so I chose M/s and relinguished control and any power I had. As to leaving, that is not an option because for us that is not the way we want it...once again, if I wanted that option I could have stayed vanilla or D/s on a semi-permanent basis and kept him dancing to my tune to make sure I remained at his feet visually at least, though mentally it could never be a reality if I was forever of a mind I could leave whenever I wanted. Just the way we work I'm afraid.

Catalina

 

[Life_Noir]

Wow.

I don't like that at all. And btw, that's so not me!

Call me powerless Fury.

Fury

Like it or not though... As usual, Geoff has hit the nail on the head..
In the end ...After all the pretty trappings are gone.. Thats kind of what it boils down to...

 

[Blushing Bottom]

This was a rhetorical question...right?

 

[poppy1963]

Damn pink....I think you hit the nail on the head with this question!

Up to a certain point, I DO see the sub as likely being the most powerful in the relationship and that has been rather confusing when I watch people talk about it all.

I do think when it gets very S&M though...the D becomes truly dominant in many ways but perhaps STILL in the end result, the sub is the one in most control...

Interesting question and responses!!!

 

[perl10]

I could not select any of the options.

IMO, if the two are engaged in a relationship that is postive for both then they have equal power. It's when the power gets out of balance that things can get destructive for both of them.

 

[Recidiva]

It's shared power. It's just polarized. That's like asking whether the Yin-Yang symbol is stronger on the Yin or the Yang side. It's shared. Can't have one without the other. Balance and exchange are what makes it dynamic.

 

[poppy1963]

Perhaps that is the theoretical intent....but I don't see it evolved quite that extensively by the descriptions here. Balance is always what is being sought by the forces of life but it remains a see-saw see-sawing on earth at present.

Interesting comments though...at Lit I see a stronger "dominance" in subs so far though...when I'm looking anyway.

 

[WriterDom]

Who has the power in an employor/employee relationship? Does it make the employee more empowered because of the option of quitting?

 

[Recidiva]

Who has the power in an employor/employee relationship? Does it make the employee more empowered because of the option of quitting?

The employer needs something, services. The employee needs something, money.

Basically the difference is polarization. People into polarizing the energy like to separate it out, like the Yin-Yang symbol. Other folks like it blended in together, so it's all sorta the same color.

It's a question of taste.

And some employers are completely whipped by their employees.

 

[Shankara20]

I wanted to be dogpiled.

slut

 

[poppy1963]

Who has the power in an employor/employee relationship? Does it make the employee more empowered because of the option of quitting?

Without a "union"...there is no question....the employer.

 

[Shankara20]

It's shared power. It's just polarized. That's like asking whether the Yin-Yang symbol is stronger on the Yin or the Yang side. It's shared. Can't have one without the other. Balance and exchange are what makes it dynamic.

I would like to think it works this way - if both sides are more-or-less healthy and coming from their own internal place of power.

 

[poppy1963]

I would like to think it works this way - if both sides are more-or-less healthy and coming from their own internal place of power.

Well then...what makes D dominant and s...subordinate? That's the part that confuses me if what you say above rings true for most...lol. Is it just a kind of "language" people are more comfortable "speaking in" or something?