Who do you talk about your work with?

[Jaunty_Menace]

I've been writing pretty much all my life, but I'm still new at writing erotica. I'd love to talk with more people about what I do, but it's not exactly something you can chat with your co-workers about, and you'd have to be pretty sure you know how a friend would take it. My SO is very happy that I enjoy it, and that my stories are doing well...but it's not their cup of tea.

So who do you discuss it with? Do you talk to people in broad strokes (hehe) about "writing," and leave out that it's spicy writing? Or do you just keep it to yourself?

 

[YmaOHyd]

My wife and my work-wife, who both know the details.

 

[Loyalish1245]

No one in My real life knows that I write anything like this. I have one buddy that knows that I used to write short form fiction, but he doesn’t know this side. So every once in a while, I will find somebody on here to chat with about story ideas, but never any real life release.

 

[PapaRomantic]

Online friends only. Some are also authors, some are not.

 

[spiderboi]

It depends on who I'm talking to. I write a lot and hyperfixate on shit, so I really, really want to talk about it with people

With my parents, who have always asked after what I'm writing even before I turned to erotica, I change details around (which sometimes gives me another good story idea that's not erotica), but they know I write "spicy" or "adult" fiction, which is why I refuse to let them read it when they ask.

My best friend knows the details of some of my stories and knows they're erotica, but not the R/NC or T/I. When I brainstorm or write things like Lesbian Sex, Gay Male, or Romance, they're my go-to for that as well.

And when I'm talking to other friends or coworkers, I won't go beyond my ASOIAF fanfic.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Who do you talk about your work with?​

Outside of other Literotica authors and readers, I talk to my SO about it. I have sought permission from anyone that I have written a fictionalized version of in a story. But out of those only my best friend is a regular reader. I don’t talk to any other friends or family about my hobby.

 

[Rob_Royale]

I'll mention a few things to my wife, but she has limited bandwidth for it so I keep it brief.

 

[caleb35]

I've been writing pretty much all my life, but I'm still new at writing erotica. I'd love to talk with more people about what I do, but it's not exactly something you can chat with your co-workers about, and you'd have to be pretty sure you know how a friend would take it. My SO is very happy that I enjoy it, and that my stories are doing well...but it's not their cup of tea.

So who do you discuss it with? Do you talk to people in broad strokes (hehe) about "writing," and leave out that it's spicy writing? Or do you just keep it to yourself?

You lot, that's who By which I mean participants in this forum. I don't discuss my "writing" with anyone in real life, partly due to avoiding complications, partly due to a lack of anyone to discuss with even should the desire to arise.

 

[AchtungNight]

Outside of other Literotica authors and readers, I talk to my SO about it. I have sought permission from anyone that I have written a fictionalized version of in a story. But out of those only my best friend is a regular reader. I don’t talk to any other friends or family about my hobby.

Same, mostly. I have only ever asked permission to write a fictionalized character based on a person twice- myself and a former spouse. Fortunately I got permission both times. In the case of the spouse, so far she’s only appeared on screen in a brief cameo and is otherwise referenced only in a similar vein to Mrs. Columbo- this is by my own choice, not hers, and I doubt it will ever change (a part of me still loves the woman even though we will probably never get back together and that makes her reflection a bit difficult to write about in onscreen detail). The character in question is Marie O’Day from Kings in Conflict, also referenced in Loose Ends, Ruleskirter, and Helpful Encounters among other works. Doug Ramsay is my author avatar, and he has featured in a lot of stories. The only people I regularly discuss my stories with are online friends. IRL I have discussed them with myself, the woman who inspired Marie, and very few others. These others have been friends who I hoped would be fans. I wouldn’t call any of them regular readers, unfortunately. Some people have made me regret the discussion, but I have never regretted the writing and I doubt I ever will.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

I used to talk to a nurse that I saw for regular weekly appointments. She was interested to hear about struggles I had with writing and the ways I overcame them. She was interested in the characters and the relationships.
She read one of my stories and said it was “weird” because she knew me. We still talked about it, but she didn’t read any others.
A month ago she transferred to another facility several miles out of my way, but much closer to where she lives.
Now my beta reader is the only one I talk to about it.
My wife and I are still trying to find a happy middle ground where I can talk about writing but not go into details.

 

[AchtungNight]

I'll mention a few things to my wife, but she has limited bandwidth for it so I keep it brief.

Yeah, this was the case for my ex too. Funny, she’s a fan of Twilight and Fifty Shades more than my writing. No accounting for taste.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

Yeah, this was the case for my ex too. Funny, she’s a fan of Twilight and Fifty Shades more than my writing. No accounting for taste.

I think that knowing the author might make it strange because you wonder how much of themselves the author puts in.
Does he think about his mother that way?
Does he get turned on by that?
Is that really what goes through his mind when a pretty girl walks by?
Does he want me to do that to him?

 

[THBGato]

I exchange emails with other writers here (though I worry that I'm not the best correspondent), and we'll discuss works-in-progress. That's really valuable.
Occasionally, I'll discuss a story with my wife but, though she read some of my earlier stories, she's not so interested. So now only if she asks.

 

[OddLove]

I chatted in the comments on some of my stories with a couple different people before.

 

[AchtungNight]

I think that knowing the author might make it strange because you wonder how much of themselves the author puts in.
Does he think about his mother that way?
Does he get turned on by that?
Is that really what goes through his mind when a pretty girl walks by?
Does he want me to do that to him?

Yeah, that tracks. I have similar issues with loving fans of Fifty Shades and similar works.

I should note that there is no parent child incest in my stories since you bring it up. That’s not a kink I have- my mother is a difficult person to deal with to the degree I’m surprised multiple men have been in relationships with her. Also, growing up, parents were my authority figures and adversaries. This makes it difficult to connect with them on a level necessary for sexual attraction.

 

[anthrodisiac]

I'm new to erotic writing, but prior to that 20+ years of other genres. I had a writers group before Covid, real hard-asses who had no problem tearing you apart — but constructively, not abusively. After Covid, I kinda slipped and stopped writing for a bit, precisely because I didn't really have anyone to talk to about my writing, nobody to show it to, and that sinking feeling you get when you're unsure if it's genius or the worst drivel this side of the Milky Way.

I didn't think I'd be able to tell anybody about what I write erotically, given its nature as non-human erotica. I feel like there's probably a lot more stigma around anthropomorphic animals than writing something like "horny cheerleader fucks hot QB." Probably a similar stigma around writing anything taboo, but this is my lane, so it's the thing I fret about.

I've thought about getting back into writers groups, but all the ones I've tried have been pretty bad. Mostly sit and write together, no critique, and when they have critiques, it's all softball participation trophies that don't actually help anyone. And then I get dirty looks for mentioning giant plot holes or how unrealistic somebody sounds...

Which is why I bit the bullet and told my best friend/ex what I'm doing, because I needed somebody to talk to in order to bounce ideas off of. I have pretty good instincts when it comes to horror, satire, sci-fi, things like that, but having stayed away from romance/erotica (except to read, been a consumer here for a very long time), I don't have the same gut-level instincts telling me what's not working and precisely how to fix it. Even still, I rarely talk to them about it, and basically never about the sex stuff. But even having one sounding board is better than nothing.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I have only ever asked permission to write a fictionalized character based on a person twice- myself and a former spouse. Fortunately I got permission both times.

Why would that be fortunate? You write celeb porn all the time with no permission so obviously this doesn't bother you.

I also find it odd that you would ask yourself for permission to fictionalize yourself, and consider it fortunate that you did not deny yourself. Or do you just like talking about yourself in third person?

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I only have one person in my real life who actively reads my stuff. There are a couple of others who have read something are are meh about it. Most of my family knows but have no interest. "So what have you been up to?" they'll ask. "Oh, I've been writing another novel. You wouldn't like it. It's full of graphic sex (and sometimes violence)." And that's that.

When they ask you in a job interview, "Tell me about yourself. What are your hobbies/interests?" "Ohh, nothing much ..." : s

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I have pretty good instincts

how did you determine that?

 

[AchtungNight]

Why would that be fortunate? You write celeb porn all the time with no permission so obviously this doesn't bother you.

I also find it odd that you would ask yourself for permission to fictionalize yourself, and consider it fortunate that you did not deny yourself. Or do you just like talking about yourself in third person?

You and I have little in common regarding attitude towards writing. I am not sure you are interested in understanding my attitude, and I’m reluctant to get involved in arguments regarding it. So I won’t say much in direct response to you. Hope that’s ok.

Regarding my dialogue with myself regarding my author avatar, it’s gotten to the point where we have such different life experiences that we are separate people despite being alternate reality variants of the same person. I have to chat with Doug Ramsay about how to portray him in a story- it’s not something that just naturally flows. Think of it like the protagonist of Marvel’s Loki and his variants.

The same is true of my characters based on celebrities. I know that my imagination and other necessities of the fictionalization process has modified their characters to certain degrees. I do not know the real people enough to portray their real characters- all I have is what I see in the media and my imagination plus characters they’ve played and other fanfic writers’ portrayals. This naturally creates different personalities. The celebrities in my stories are not the real people on whom they are based. I will also add that I legally have the privilege to portray such characters in fanfics. It doesn’t matter how Celebrity X is bothered by his portrayal on shows like Saturday Night Live- he can’t stop it. The same is true of critics. I am bothered on some level by such attitudes, but I won’t stop writing my stories either. My first amendment rights are that important to me to exercise. Many other fanfic writers say the same.

I will add this- My personal ethics motivate me to try to portray every character in my stories in a respectful and deserving fashion, especially those based on real people. One of my favorite moments in Buffy was when Oz said criticism of his band was fair. I also am a huge fan of the film Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, in which multiple celebrities react to their fanfic portrayals. And I think a celebrity is less likely to be bothered if my portrayal of them in fanfics is flattering and realistic rather than disrespectful. Many fanfic writers portray their characters differently. I have mixed feelings about this.

I hope we can leave it at that.

 

[anthrodisiac]

how did you determine that?

I mean, how does anyone know they have good instincts? I guess you write something primarily using intuition and then have a bunch of knowledgable people who aren't afraid to tell you when your writing sucks look it over, and if they say it's good — and you do that consistently — then you've got good instincts. Not always, but more times than not.

Most of those instincts came from writing something, thinking it was pretty good, and then having my writers group tell me it didn't suck like the week before. They were brutal. Very constructive and knowledgable, but they wouldn't hesitate to douse your pages in red ink with all their edits. A masterclass of humility. I miss them a lot.

It took a while. Initially, I'd write something, think it was flawless, and then my writers group would tear it apart. They were brutal, in a polite, critique-forward way. Very constructive and knowledgable, but they wouldn't hesitate to douse your pages in red ink with all their edits. A masterclass of humility. I miss them a lot.

Do that enough, you start getting a better sense of where something ought to be going or when something isn't working. Helps that I've been doing it for over 20 years, too. My instincts for the first 10 were pitiful.

It's not always there, and it's definitely not there for erotica the same way it's there for horror or sci-fi or satire (my normal genres). But I can at least get a sense of when something isn't working, and then can poke it with a stick enough times to (hopefully) figure out what it is. Sometimes my instincts lead me down the wrong path, but then they'll kick in and tell me what I'm doing isn't working and I can course correct or eject as needed.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

You and I have little in common regarding attitude towards writing. I am not sure you are interested in understanding my attitude, and I’m reluctant to get involved in arguments regarding it. So I won’t say much in direct response to you. Hope that’s ok.

And then you go on for several hundred words. (shrug)

 

[BobbyBrandt]

I think that I am somewhat of an anomaly here because I am not embarrassed by anything that I write and have a wide variety of people that I use as beta readers and who follow my work.

Many of these people know that I have done contract writing on subjects that are not things that I embrace in my own life, so that has always made them more accepting of any sexual content that they may encounter in what they read of mine. In most cases, they didn't know if what I had given them to read was from my imagination alone, or from what I was being paid to write for someone else. That set the stage for me. Just about everything I have published on Lit has been passed around to a wide group of beta readers, including my wife, a retired Navy chaplain, a few neighbors, and other friends.

I also include people that I know and businesses that I frequent into many of my stories. When I have asked someone familiar with my work if they are interested in being included in one of my stories, no one has ever declined. Several businesses proudly promote my books that mention them.

I tell the story about this childrens advocacy group that I volunteer for. While waiting for court to start one day, another of the volunteers commented to someone else about my books. She had a huge grin on her face when she said, "He writes smut!"

 

[BobbyBrandt]

The same is true of my characters based on celebrities. I know that my imagination and other necessities of the fictionalization process has modified their characters to certain degrees. I do not know the real people enough to portray their real characters- all I have is what I see in the media and my imagination plus characters they’ve played and other fanfic writers’ portrayals. This naturally creates different personalities. The celebrities in my stories are not the real people on whom they are based. I will also add that I legally have the privilege to portray such characters in fanfics. It doesn’t matter how Celebrity X is bothered by his portrayal on shows like Saturday Night Live- he can’t stop it. The same is true of critics. I am bothered on some level by such attitudes, but I won’t stop writing my stories either. My first amendment rights are that important to me to exercise. Many other fanfic writers say the same.

I purposely write only about celebrities before they became famous. I believe that this provides me with more creative license with the characters. By researching their biographies extensively, I can then use my imagination to weave together a plausible sexual experience involving them.

Of the eight celebrities that I have written about to-date, I have only been contact about a story once. The nephew of the particular celebrity reached out to me via feedback here, claiming that my purely fictional story was creating potential problems with his aunt's marriage and asked me to take it down. I did as requested. (Read into that what you will)

 

[AchtungNight]

I purposely write only about celebrities before they became famous. I believe that this provides me with more creative license with the characters. By researching their biographies extensively, I can then use my imagination to weave together a plausible sexual experience involving them.

Of the eight celebrities that I have written about to-date, I have only been contact about a story once. The nephew of the particular celebrity reached out to me via feedback here, claiming that my purely fictional story was creating potential problems with his aunt's marriage and asked me to take it down. I did as requested. (Read into that what you will)

I’ve never been contacted by a celebrity regarding a fanfic as of yet. Apart from several creators who approved of the way I depicted their fictional characters. I have met some of my inspirations for characters in person but I have not brought up my stories. Nor do I plan on it unless they break the subject first. If it goes negative… we’ll see.