Who do you pretend to be?

[Guest]

So, I landed a second job. I wasn't terribly happy about it because of the extremely low pay and the hours suck my soul, however, im throughly entertained by the plethora of people I have encountered. From the stereotypical to the rich, Mr. "I can't be bothered to shower" to Missy "I've just bathed in Jene Nate"

See, I'm working in a porn shop. Don't say that out loud here in Texas. You must say Mature Video. Oh, and by the way, that's a massager not a vibrator. Never utter the word dildo...that, my friend, is a novelty.

My first day. I pretended that I was shocked by everything. "What the hell is that?!" was the look I used to make the other employees think I knew nothing of porn. I even mastered, in my short time there, to conjure up a blush. But little do they know the wife and I have a trunk load of these things at home. Enough, dare I say to get us both arrested according to the "6 is enough" law here. Playing the wide-eyed innocent might just be what keeps me at this job for any time period. Here in lies my point.

Do you pretend to be who you want people to think you are? How far would you go to keep up a pretense? When would you call it quits...when is enough, enough?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Congrats on the new job, Ms V. It sounds like a perfect match. Back in the seventies, a female-type cousin of mine worked in an "adult book store" while waiting to start law school. She loved the job. The customers were a hoot and she got a lot of reading done on the evening shift.

As for your questions:

Do you pretend to be who you want people to think you are? How far would you go to keep up a pretense? When would you call it quits...when is enough, enough?

Nope. Not nearly smart enough to pull that off. I do have a "public face" but that's also part of the "real" me.

Keep us posted on the new job.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[buxxxom]

good question

I completely understand what you are asking. I don't think the word pretend is the one I would use to apply to me, however. There are just different facets to my personality, and I pull out whichever one fits the situation I am in.

There are very few people in real life who know about my identity here at Lit and my proclivity for kink, but few of you know anything else. It's just the situation we find ourselves in from time to time and the "mask" we use to fit in.

Is this being deceitful to others? I don't think so. I think it is deceitful only to myself. I am the friend whose shoulder you cry on but I really want to say things like "Tell your lazy ass husband to get a job" or "There's a reason I haven't called - it's because I don't want to hear you whine." I think I'd rather perpetuate the image people have of me, because most of the time, I hear the bitch in my head speaking, and I don't think many would like her.

ETA: congrats on your job in the porn store. That is a store I'd like to visit, with such a friendly and helpful clerk!

 

[mckai777]

But little do they know the wife and I have a trunk load of these things at home.

Dyke!

Do you pretend to be who you want people to think you are? How far would you go to keep up a pretense? When would you call it quits...when is enough, enough?

I'll do anything to get people to like me. I'll never, ever stop. It's never enough. And that's the cold hard truth, honey.

 

[impressive]

Do you pretend to be who you want people to think you are? How far would you go to keep up a pretense? When would you call it quits...when is enough, enough?

In general, I abhor deceipt, but I recognize the necessity for it on some levels. The 3 Ps of Prevarication: parenting, privacy, protection.

However, I would SO love to see you play the wide-eyed innocent in a smut shop. (Thinking back to a pix I have of you & Logo posing with vibrators at The Tool Shed in Milwaukee.) Be careful, though. If you make that face long enough, it might freeze that way.

 

[impressive]

P.S. Do they do mail-order and, if so, can I have a discount?

 

[Guest]

Congrats on the new job, Ms V. It sounds like a perfect match. Back in the seventies, a female-type cousin of mine worked in an "adult book store" while waiting to start law school. She loved the job. The customers were a hoot and she got a lot of reading done on the evening shift.

Nope. Not nearly smart enough to pull that off. I do have a "public face" but that's also part of the "real" me.

Thanks Rumply. I'm doing my best to 'look' the conservative. It is almost too easy to keep up but I'm sure I'll get lazy and fall into my normal deparaved persona before long.

Wish we were allowed to read or anything but its usually too busy and when its not, we are expected to clean and do 'busy' work.

I completely understand what you are asking. I don't think the word pretend is the one I would use to apply to me, however. There are just different facets to my personality, and I pull out whichever one fits the situation I am in.

Good. This is just what I was looking for. Do we 'pretend' or are these things we do, just part of who we are?! Are we all really just mutiple persona's? I know I'll see someone post: "I am who I am." There always has to be a Popeye.

Dyke!

I'll do anything to get people to like me. I'll never, ever stop. It's never enough. And that's the cold hard truth, honey.

*happy sigh* I love being a Dyke. I love being a closet dyke and pretending I have no idea what that business is all about. "You do WHAT?!"

oh and btw, I don't think you would, judging by your posts, anyway.

 

[rgraham666]

I spent most of my life being deceitful, trying to fit in, be normal.

Didn't work, I'm a bad liar and a worse actor. And the stress of trying to be what I was not drove me insane.

No more pretending for me.

 

[Guest]

P.S. Do they do mail-order and, if so, can I have a discount?

um...i still don't know if I get one!

deciept, im not sure if i would go that far but i do see what youre saying. that almost made me feel ashamed but i got over it really quick!

thing too, about this job is that i CAN NOT tell you how or where to use a certain 'novelty'. i have to say that i don't know. so, its much easier to look all conservative when i look them in the eye and say..."I'm sorry, I can't relate the details of this novelty to you because I don't know them." even when susan, my inner bitch is screaming "YOU STICK THE GODDAMN TOY BETWEEN YOUR LEGS WHERE IT FEELS BEST!"

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Thanks Rumply. I'm doing my best to 'look' the conservative. It is almost too easy to keep up but I'm sure I'll get lazy and fall into my normal deparaved persona before long.

Wish we were allowed to read or anything but its usually too busy and when its not, we are expected to clean and do 'busy' work.

Damn slave drivers. The store she worked in was one of those locally owned, seedy, semi-head shops. I miss 'em.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

I spent most of my life being deceitful, trying to fit in, be normal.

Didn't work, I'm a bad liar and a worse actor. And the stress of trying to be what I was not drove me insane.

No more pretending for me.

Bravo~
I totally understand what you're saying here. I guess what I mean is in the short run because I have no idea how long I can keep up with the Innocent look.

it does take a lot of energy to keep up a fascade, even when its for fun.

 

[Guest]

Damn slave drivers. The store she worked in was one of those locally owned, seedy, semi-head shops. I miss 'em.

Rumple Foreskin

this store is massive and you could literally eat off the floor if you were the daring sort. the packet i had to take home with all the rules was very eye opening. i think theyve been fucked over in a big way.

however!~
i do make commission after 30 days. so, if you're in the market for a giant cock, love swing or blow up midget sex doll...

 

[rgraham666]

Bravo~
I totally understand what you're saying here. I guess what I mean is in the short run because I have no idea how long I can keep up with the Innocent look.

it does take a lot of energy to keep up a fascade, even when its for fun.

Well, at least you've got a good reason to do what you're doing. You've got a family to support.

I never had that. Don't now. Won't in the future.

One of the worst things about deceiving is often you're deceiving yourself most of all.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

this store is massive and you could literally eat off the floor if you were the daring sort. the packet i had to take home with all the rules was very eye opening. i think theyve been fucked over in a big way.

however!~
i do make commission after 30 days. so, if you're in the market for a giant cock, love swing or blow up midget sex doll...

Gotcha.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

Well, at least you've got a good reason to do what you're doing. You've got a family to support.

I never had that. Don't now. Won't in the future.

One of the worst things about deceiving is often you're deceiving yourself most of all.

true. at what point does it become a problem? is there a 12 step for this?
seriously though, where is the blurred line in this situation? in your situation?
i just dont think i could look the greasy non-showered man returning a dvd that i have to SPRAY down with disinfectant...oh yes, i did this four times last night...and think about what he was doing. its far easier to pretend that he as watching titanic and acting out the scene at the end of the movie "I'll never let go Jack."

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Im with Buxxom on the not pretending but adapting thing.

At work i am just N, i am Asian and i go to uni. More than that- no one really knows and i keep it that way. It's difficult for me because a) i am a chatterbox b) i wear my heart on my sleave a lot. But i made the decision myself not to be too open about my life because i didn't want it to bite me on the ass.

At uni i am me, most people know enough about me- im outgoing and friendly and those that i consider close enough to be cuddly and all that with generally tend to know most things including my sexuality.

There is however a level of 'being me' i have to maintain. Being me also comes with the downers- a lot of them, negative perceptions etc, and nowadays i tend to keep that lot to myself, even from my closest friends. It's about allowing yourself to be vulnerable or choosing to protect yourself.

CONGRATS ON THE JOB SWEETIE!

 

[McKenna]

I have pretended to be Dutch instead of American. When traveling abroad, this is sometimes a handy thing. Americans aren't as well-loved as some would have us think.

As for other instances where I feel I "pretend:" I can't help but think of job interviews. To a certain extent I feel I'm pretending because I'm on my best behavior, trying to present my skills in such a way that would fulfill my possible-employer's needs. I don't know why that feels like pretending, but it does. Maybe it's more like convincing?

For the most part I try to be who I am regardless of the situation. I've been exposed to too many people who try to be something they're not, people who lie continuously to the point where they've forgotten what is truth and what is make-believe. I never want to get so caught in a trap like that that I end up deceiving myself. I think that's borderline senility.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

As for other instances where I feel I "pretend:" I can't help but think of job interviews. To a certain extent I feel I'm pretending because I'm on my best behavior, trying to present my skills in such a way that would fulfill my possible-employer's needs. I don't know why that feels like pretending, but it does. Maybe it's more like convincing?

Ahhh yes, job interviews...agree...

ps. mmmm McK-boobage

 

[Misty_Morning]

As for other instances where I feel I "pretend:" I can't help but think of job interviews. To a certain extent I feel I'm pretending because I'm on my best behavior, trying to present my skills in such a way that would fulfill my possible-employer's needs. I don't know why that feels like pretending, but it does. Maybe it's more like convincing?

I used to try to become the person a potential employer wanted during job interviews. It never worked out. So I just let it all hang out...that way they can truly make an informed decision.

Although I think I got a little carried away on the last interview. Was flown in and got to my hotel and went down to the bar for a couple of beers. Well, one thing led to another, and I ended up at another bar with some folks I met at the hotel and got toally shitfaced. Woke up the next moring with an hour and five minutes until my interview and still drunk. Made it to the interview (which lasted 5 hours) and was my loud mouthed opinionated self the whole time. I even told a few inappropriate jokes. I start the new job on Monday.

Other than that, I just can't pretend any more. I did it my whole life and I will never do it again. It is deceitful to others and myself.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Hmm, I'm pretty much myself all the time and maybe that will eventually be the end of me one day.

Like I told Roxanne the other day on the blurt thread, I couldn't fake being normal if I tried. Something is always going to squeek out, the harder I try, the more I get into that giggles-during-funerals mode and I dig myself a deeper hole.

The only time I try to maintain some sort of decorum is when dealing with my son and his school activities. I don't give much of a fuck what people think of me, but I would be horrified if anyone judged my child based on my behavior. To my surprise, most of the other moms at my son's school turned out to be a lot more cracked than me(if you can imagine), so I pretty much can be myself with them too. I'm not the weirdest mom at the PTO meetings, who woulda thought?

 

[FallingToFly]

This is going to sound strange but...

I let people think I'm anorexic just so I don't have to eat around them. I have a very few friends that I will eat with and around, because I fucking hate people, especially women, and the way they treat me- like I'm some sort of freak.

I have a very high metabolism- roughly three times what is a healthy rate. It makes me mildly hypoglycemic and keeps my weight at roughly 100-105. I'm 5 ft, 5 in.

If I make the mistake of eating around other women, they spend the entire time bemoaning how I can eat whatever it is I'm eating and not gain weight, repeatedly saying: "OMG! How do you not put on weight! I would be huge if I ate like that!"

NO FUCKING SHIT! YOU DON'T HAVE THE METABOLISM FROM HELL!

You know, I really would LIKE to have breasts. I really would LIKE to be able to wear all those cute clothes that fit women between the sizes of 3-5 (which would be what a healthy weight for my height would wear). But I can't!

So, I would rather NOT eat, so that YOU can justify why I'm so fucking skinny to yourself, and then go home, and eat that other half of the pizza from last night while watching t.v. And afterwards, I'm going to have three slices of chocolate cheesecake, take a shower, brush my teethe and go to sleep. Do you have issues with any of that?

[/rant] Sorry

 

[Recidiva]

This is going to sound strange but...

I let people think I'm anorexic just so I don't have to eat around them. I have a very few friends that I will eat with and around, because I fucking hate people, especially women, and the way they treat me- like I'm some sort of freak.

I have a very high metabolism- roughly three times what is a healthy rate. It makes me mildly hypoglycemic and keeps my weight at roughly 100-105. I'm 5 ft, 5 in.

If I make the mistake of eating around other women, they spend the entire time bemoaning how I can eat whatever it is I'm eating and not gain weight, repeatedly saying: "OMG! How do you not put on weight! I would be huge if I ate like that!"

NO FUCKING SHIT! YOU DON'T HAVE THE METABOLISM FROM HELL!

You know, I really would LIKE to have breasts. I really would LIKE to be able to wear all those cute clothes that fit women between the sizes of 3-5 (which would be what a healthy weight for my height would wear). But I can't!

So, I would rather NOT eat, so that YOU can justify why I'm so fucking skinny to yourself, and then go home, and eat that other half of the pizza from last night while watching t.v. And afterwards, I'm going to have three slices of chocolate cheesecake, take a shower, brush my teethe and go to sleep. Do you have issues with any of that?

[/rant] Sorry

Come eat at my house

 

[Recidiva]

I'm not sure it's pretending as much as just a social strategy.

I work online, so I have never met any of the people I've worked with for years.

IM and telephone only, and telephone maybe twice a year.

My daughter just says I like to give people enough rope to hang themselves, I'm very polite and I just slowly let people get the impression I'm sweet and kinda dumb. I never lose my temper, I'm never rude, not in conversations. Sure, I lose my temper and I'm rude in my head, but it just doesn't make it out. That's business for me.

 

[FallingToFly]

Come eat at my house

You are definitely one I would have dinner with.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

See, I'm working in a porn shop. Don't say that out loud here in Texas.

Hugs, Vella -
I suppose you see a lot of this kind of activity . . .




On your question: I become acutely uncomfortable pretending to be something I am not. Therefore, WYSIWYG with me - what you see is what you get. If anything I take that too far sometimes and it has probably cost me, but hopefully I've learned some tact and discretion over the years.