Who Cares Who Wins (alternative AH awards)

[gauchecritic]

Gutted and ashamed at not even receiving a mention in TheEarl's AH awards I offer this alternative. Wherein I can guarantee myself an award.

<WARNING non receipt of nominations or votes will force me to pick names at random to give awards to.>

These are your categories for the
AH Winnerless Award Not Even Remembered Subscriber.

Contributors

Most miserable get.

Most delusional

Biggest Poseur

Roundest eyes

Archest (mischevious, rogueish) personality

Purest wit.

Funniest personal signature that rhymes with moot

Wittiest Pure (nominations closed) Winner: Pure (by default)

Most irregular AHer

Best ChilledVodka (four nominations)

Backbitingest backhander

Excellentest AHer whose name begins with Doctor and ends with Mabeus.


Thread

Feeblest excuse for a thread (nominations include this one)

Most excruciatingly, painfully dull thread

Best hijack

Longest post that you didn't skim after the second paragraph



Astronomy

Favourite planet.

Best distance from sun (mean averages not included)

Albedo

Most promising natural energy source (batteries not included)

Worst crater on the moon

Best Pink Floyd album named after an astronomical feature

* * *

Nominations are compulsory on pain of reading one of Og's stories all the way through.

Nominations close midnight on Sunday (GMT) 19 December 2004

Voting begins as soon as I can be arsed to post the nominees.

Nominate by PM, E-mail, telephone, pigeon, sign language, body language or semaphore. No correspondence shall be entered into. The judges decision is final. Results = as and when.

The judges neither hold nor claim any responsibility for the third group of nomination categories, nor will they be held accountable for fallings-out, rows, fist fights or iggies. All rights reserved.

 

[impressive]

How about another category? NEW-UI AS YUI

 

[Shock Chick]

Brilliant, Gauche!

I'll get Lou's brain in gear tomorrow, and get her to send some nominations to you. I can't be arsed. Oh, and I'm dead.

 

[wishfulthinking]

I want to nominate a category:

Most excruciating dictionarial definitional quote.

I have a personal love for these.

 

[Guest]

I think Svenska's Hubby should get some kind of award.

Otherwise, Gaucho, I give my votes to you (as my very favourite poster didn't win the other crappin' contest). Plus I'll be in Venice in a week's time and won't give a fuckin' arsefuck about this place for 3 weeks.

Perdita

 

[carsonshepherd]

I want to nominate gauche for All of the awards.

I want to create an award for myself, but I can't think of anything. Pain pills... not witty...

 

[impressive]

I want to nominate gauche for All of the awards.

I want to create an award for myself, but I can't think of anything. Pain pills... not witty...

Most In Need Of Lavish Attention?

 

[carsonshepherd]

Most In Need Of Lavish Attention?

Okay, but don't ask me for witticisms while I'm on hydrocodone...

 

[gauchecritic]

Well the nomination has come in thick and fast and there seems to be a concensus so far about who should be proclaimed the most miserable get.

<Get. Colloquial profanity often bastardized to git. From the original word Get = offspring or child>

I'm going to organise more of these because the nominations received are so funny.

Remember; voting will began next week so get your nominations in before tomorrow midnight (gmt)

 

[Guest]

come in thick and fast

I have a nominee for that.

Perdita

 

[BlackShanglan]

I want to create an award for myself, but I can't think of anything. Pain pills... not witty...

Most Sumptuously Delicious?

Shanglan

 

[Guest]

Most Sumptuously Delicious?

Carson's all that, but I nominated him as "Most promising natural energy source".

Perdita

 

[carsonshepherd]

I predict Gauche and I will sweep this thing.

Please people, pity me, since I've dropped out of the running for the holiday contest.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I predict Gauche and I will sweep this thing.

Please people, pity me, since I've dropped out of the running for the holiday contest.

NOOOOO!!!!!

Life can be so WRONG damnit.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

NOOOOO!!!!!

Life can be so WRONG damnit.

Shanglan

Trolls! Trolls!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Trolls! Trolls!

Behold. The trolls are vanquished.

 

[carsonshepherd]

 

[Kassiana]

I vote myself Most Likely to Be Covered in Feathers.

(Anyone else own five birds? No? Didn't think so...)

 

[carsonshepherd]

I vote myself Most Likely to Be Covered in Feathers.

(Anyone else own five birds? No? Didn't think so...)

Well, Min is a gosling... she's covered in feathers.... So, try again!

 

[minsue]

Well, Min is a gosling... she's covered in feathers.... So, try again!

And Cheerful Deviant is a duck, though he's also a young asian woman at times, so I can understand any confusion.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Well, Min is a gosling... she's covered in feathers.... So, try again!

*laugh* I would go for "most likely to be covered in dog hair," but it looks like Carson has that one down. How about the obscure and delicious "Most Likely to be Ginger Feagued to the Victim's Entire Delight?"

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

Ginger Feague? is that a cookie?

 

[minsue]

Ginger Feague? is that a cookie?

Is that a basketball being devoured in your AV?

 

[BlackShanglan]

Ginger Feague? is that a cookie?

It's a somewhat sadistic but very effective method of motivating a horse. One would normally simply call it "feaguing," but as the online dictionaries tend to reduce it (tragically!) to simply "to beat," I felt the need to specify the ginger.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

Is that a basketball being devoured in your AV?

It's a deflated football.

It's a somewhat sadistic but very effective method of motivating a horse

WTF?