White House Celebrates Fifth Straight Year Without Oral Sex

[dr_mabeuse]

From the Onion:

White House Celebrates Fifth Straight Year Without Oral Sex

WASHINGTON, DC—With 2005 drawing to a close, the White House held a special ceremony in the East Room Saturday to commemorate its fifth year without any sort of oral-genital contact within its historic confines. "This administration has upheld its promise to restore dignity to the White House," President Bush said. "I can assure that no one—including myself, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, 'Scooter' Libby, or Condi Rice—has been the recipient, or provider, of the kind of unnatural, depraved, and frankly gross sexual act that, not too long ago, disgraced this office in the eyes of the world." Bush was then joined on stage by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) and Tom DeLay to cut a perfectly square, frostingless vanilla cake made especially for the occasion.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43901

 

[impressive]

Head of state? I think not.

 

[rgraham666]

This explains a lot.

 

[Guest]

Good thing we didn't send them a copy of Coming Together, then.

I especially like the phrase, "a perfectly square, frostingless vanilla cake."

Most appropriate.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Achievements abound!

 

[logophile]

What a relief that no one is having oral sex in the White House.
Our country is once again safe from politicians with shifty morals and personal agendas.

*sleeping better at night*

 

[rgraham666]

What a relief that no one is having oral sex in the White House.
Our country is once again safe from politicians with shifty morals and personal agendas.

*sleeping better at night*

How can these people have shifty morals when they don't have any morals?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

My advice to POTUS is, and here I quote Robin Williams in his role as Armed Services Radio DJ Adrian Cronauer in, Good Morning Vietnam!

"You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history."

Rumple Foreskin

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I'd have to think that Clinton was the first one to have sex in the White House since Kennedy.

I'll bet the guy who fills the rubber machines doesn't have much work.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I hope the twins weren't present, or parties to the achievement.

 

[impressive]

I'll bet the guy who fills the rubber machines doesn't have much work.

Is there condom vending in the White House? I find that rather disturbing.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Is there condom vending in the White House? I find that rather disturbing.

One of the little known secret service jobs... condom runs...

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

One of the little known secret service jobs... condom runs...

Actually, that was in the last administration.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Actually, that was in the last administration.

yeah, now they run out for pretzels and beer... and the latest xbox games...

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

yeah, now they run out for pretzels and beer... and the latest xbox games...

Don't forget the country music CDs.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Is there condom vending in the White House? I find that rather disturbing.

There's several, and Dick Cheney used to have Scooter Libby go through them and stick all the foil packs with pins.

You've heard about White House leaks, haven't you?

 

[Guest]

There's several, and Dick Cheney used to have Scooter Libby go through them and stick all the foil packs with pins.

You've heard about White House leaks, haven't you?

*snicker*

You are in rare form today, Zoot!

 

[Selena_Kitt]

You've heard about White House leaks, haven't you?

*GROAN* !!!!

 

[Pure]

so what does go on?

the sex instinct is pretty powerful and comes out one way or another;
ruling out fornication, self-abuse, and oral sex, seems to leave few alternatives.

i vote for anal, common in teens who've taken virginity pledges.

 

[impressive]

You've heard about White House leaks, haven't you?

Damn, I thought that was for the water sports.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I vote for anal

would get my vote!

 

[Guest]

I vote for anal.

Don't we all?

 

[Quiet_Cool]

From the Onion:

White House Celebrates Fifth Straight Year Without Oral Sex

WASHINGTON, DC—With 2005 drawing to a close, the White House held a special ceremony in the East Room Saturday to commemorate its fifth year without any sort of oral-genital contact within its historic confines.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43901

Um... Actually, this isn't true. Last year, on a White House tour, Carson blew me on the balcony. It's outside, but it technically counts, right?

We left no evidence; he swallowed every drop.



Q_C

 

[SeaCat]

I reckon they don't consider kissing ass as oral sex?

Cat

 

[carsonshepherd]

Um... Actually, this isn't true. Last year, on a White House tour, Carson blew me on the balcony. It's outside, but it technically counts, right?

We left no evidence; he swallowed every drop.



Q_C

I need to do vanity searches more often, apparently...

They made you promise never to tell.