Whisper ( Poem By _Land)

[_Land]

To My Green Eyed Lady



I whisper gently in the night
To hold you close, to hold you tight
To feel your breath upon my skin
To smell your essence, breath it in
To feel the warmth of your body next to mine
More than passion, love devine
To feel that perfect moment, erotic bliss
Sweet sensations from your kiss
I moan softly in your ear
The loving words you long to hear
Our bodys move in fluid motion
Pushed on by loves strongest potion
Our hearts and souls blend together
Sheltered from lifes stormy weather
One single moment, of real love
Shared only by us and God above
I dream of you each and every night
Your image clear in the fading light
Your eyes and smile invite me in
drifting off to sleep in endless sin

 

[_Land]

Any feedback?

Is this ok for erotic poetry? any suggestions?

 

[Rybka]

It is closer to non-erotic poetry. IMHO

On this site erotic poetry tends to be much more explicit. - Calling it erotic will get it more reads, but probably lower scores from those who choose to vote. -Your Choice.


Regards, Rybka

 

[_Land]

thanks for the advice

And by the way i enjoyed wounded eyes, it was excelent.

 

[Rybka]

Thanks,
I hope you voted.


Regards, Rybka

 

[_Land]

Of course i voted, i liked it because it created a very visual image of what you were describing.


That said, whisper being non erotic, what do you think of it as a poem?

 

[Rybka]

RE: Whisper

O.K. - since you ask. I think it has potential, but I find the imagery somewhat commonplace. This, IMHO, becomes more objectionable when one rhymes in couplets. "Whisper" is as least as good as the average poem posted on Lit., but it could be improved quite a bit.

Regards, Rybka

 

[_Land]

Why do so few people vote?

This poem had 66 views in the first week, but only five took the time to vote. Is this common place? And is that a good number of views?

 

[Rybka]

Votes per Views

You will get more views for an "erotic" poem than for a "non-erotic" submission. Also, the closer to the front of the alphabet your title is, the more hits. As to votes vs reads, I have no idea, except that quick throw-offs seem to get more encouragement than more serious efforts. - your guess.


Regards, Rybka