Which one should I pick?

[Lady_Guenivere]

I am entering a poetry contest and I am only allowed one submission. I have narrowed it down to two. Which one should I submit?

Seduction

Beautiful heart ache
Blissful pain
Arrogant in its hunger
It opens my veins
With gentle kisses
Cruel yet tender
So enticing a lover
Passive in my need for surrender
I submit to the grief
I selfishly accept its embrace,
And wonder will I ever be free
As I shamelessly, willfully
Lose my faith.


or

Exaltation

Heart beating
Aching for your touch
Breathe
You rush through me
Like voltage
Your Soul
Caressing mine
Pleasing me
Teasing me
Your hands, like warm water
Flowing over me
Sensation
Creation
You are the giver of life.

 

[LaLaLilly]

Exaltation..I like them both but I can feel this one more. ~Good Luck!

 

[Lady_Guenivere]

Thanks...

Anyone else care to advise?

 

[freshface]

Exaltation. The passion flows in that one. I like them both. If everyone else is doing one like Exaltation, Seduction would stand out more. The anger is both clear and appropriate in Seduction, but it makes it less pleasant.

Hows that for a non-answer.

 

[Lady_Guenivere]

Exaltation. The passion flows in that one. I like them both. If everyone else is doing one like Exaltation, Seduction would stand out more. The anger is both clear and appropriate in Seduction, but it makes it less pleasant.

Hows that for a non-answer.

Ok, good. Thanks for the feedback.

 

[damppanties]

Exaltation. Didn't read Seduction to the end.

 

[Liar]

Gonna have to go against the majorioty so far.

Definitely Seduction. A more focused composition and more interresting, inventive phrasing. Plus, I'm a sucker for slightly darker poems.

"Pleasing me / Teasing me" in Exaltation made me wince a little. A little bit too cheesy pop lyrics for me.

 

[Liar]

But more importantly: What kind of poetry contest? Where? Who is the audience? Is there a theme?

 

[Lady_Guenivere]

But more importantly: What kind of poetry contest? Where? Who is the audience? Is there a theme?

No theme...just a local writers group.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

I'm going with Liar on this, Seduction has a clearer voice, you can tell the intent more clearly. Or men can maybe.