where's God? a kid joke

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman.

The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!"

The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8-year-old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone,

"Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?" At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home slamming himself in his closet.

His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!"

 

[Pyper]

I got a good one along the same lines.


A homeless man stumbles upon a party of Baptists doing their baptizing in a lake. Thinking the man is next in line, the preacher grabs him and dunks him under water.

When the preacher pulls the man back up again, he shouts, "Son, have you found Jesus?"

"No," responds the homeless man.

The preacher dunks him again, holding him under longer this time, and asks, "Son, have you FOUND Jesus?"

"No!" replies the man.

This time the preacher gives the man a really good dunk, holding him under till he can barely stand it. "SON!" the preacher shouts, "HAVE YOU FOUND JESUS?!"

"No!" shouts back the man. "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

I got a good one along the same lines.


A homeless man stumbles upon a party of Baptists doing their baptizing in a lake. Thinking the man is next in line, the preacher grabs him and dunks him under water.

When the preacher pulls the man back up again, he shouts, "Son, have you found Jesus?"

"No," responds the homeless man.

The preacher dunks him again, holding him under longer this time, and asks, "Son, have you FOUND Jesus?"

"No!" replies the man.

This time the preacher gives the man a really good dunk, holding him under till he can barely stand it. "SON!" the preacher shouts, "HAVE YOU FOUND JESUS?!"

"No!" shouts back the man. "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

beautiful, I love it, what makes it even more funny is I attend baptist.

Thank you pyper.

Got any more?

How has life been treating you?

Howis the bandersnatch these days?

 

[Guest]

ha ha ha. those are funny... i unfortunatly, dont have a joke.

 

[Pyper]

No, I'm afraid these jokes are a spontaneous thing. If I try to think up any, my mind goes blank.

Life has been treating me fairly crappily, but we won't go in to that.

The first sig line I ever had is going to haunt me to the end of my days: Beware the jub jub bird, and shun the frumious bandersnatch...

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

No, I'm afraid these jokes are a spontaneous thing. If I try to think up any, my mind goes blank.

Life has been treating me fairly crappily, but we won't go in to that.

The first sig line I ever had is going to haunt me to the end of my days: Beware the jub jub bird, and shun the frumious bandersnatch...

Sorry to hear that life is crap right now, you know what they say?

Life gives you crap, package it and call it fudge and every sucker will buy it for you.

or is it

Life gives you crap, make crapade out of it.

Sorry about that I just happem to love that sig line, its so you though.

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

ha ha ha. those are funny... i unfortunatly, dont have a joke.

Thats alright no jokes neccessary

 

[Pyper]

Maybe it'll make a comeback. Not yet though, I still love my possum sig, although everybody else seems to have gotten over it. They are like, "God, Pyper, that is so, like, five days ago."

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

Maybe it'll make a comeback. Not yet though, I still love my possum sig, although everybody else seems to have gotten over it. They are like, "God, Pyper, that is so, like, five days ago."

Don't worry about them do whats good for you.

and how dare they use God and you in the same sentence, how yesterday is that sister?

hey this is like 5 or six posts we have had together, does this qualify as a civil conversation yet?

 

[Pyper]

Civil conversation...hmm, long time no have.

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

Civil conversation...hmm, long time no have.

I thought so as well I thought we had been doing quite well.

I wouldn't mind engaging you like this more often

 

[Pyper]

But I'm afraid of your Borg-like virginity. What if it actually gives me back my virginity, when I went through so much trouble to lose it in the first place?

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

But I'm afraid of your Borg-like virginity. What if it actually gives me back my virginity, when I went through so much trouble to lose it in the first place?

but my virginity only takes others virginity it never gives it back so no fear. your hard work and effort will not be undone

 

[Pyper]

I liked your little preacher dollie av that you had way back when. This av looks more like a harried businessman than a preacher.

 

[Minout]

Three little kids are playing in the school yard talking about Easter. The first kid says, "Easter, Easter is when you get dressed up in funny clothes and go from door to door yelling trick-or-treat and people give you candy." The second kid says, "That's not Easter that's Hallowe'en. Easter is when a big fat guy in a red suit climbs down the chimney and leaves you presents." The third kid says, "That's Christmas. Easter is when they take Jesus and they nail him to a cross and in three days he rises from the dead and if he sees his shadow, spring is gonna be late."

Minout

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

Three little kids are playing in the school yard talking about Easter. The first kid says, "Easter, Easter is when you get dressed up in funny clothes and go from door to door yelling trick-or-treat and people give you candy." The second kid says, "That's not Easter that's Hallowe'en. Easter is when a big fat guy in a red suit climbs down the chimney and leaves you presents." The third kid says, "That's Christmas. Easter is when they take Jesus and they nail him to a cross and in three days he rises from the dead and if he sees his shadow, spring is gonna be late."

Minout

Good one, I like it

 

[teddybear4play]

A man is playing a round of golf with his priest. The man gets set to tee off on the first hole, pulls out his driver, takes a mighty swing, and misses the ball completely. He yells, "Damn, I missed."

To which the priest responds, "Don't swear, for the Lord will surely strike you down."

A few holes later, the golfer whiffs again and curses again, and the priest gives him the same admonishment.

Finally, on the 18th hole, the golfer gets all air again, curses again, and just as the priest is about to take him to task once more, a lightning bolt comes out of nowhere and strikes the priest dead on the spot.

A booming voice follows: "DAMN . . . I MISSED."

Corny, I know.

TB4p

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

A man is playing a round of golf with his priest. The man gets set to tee off on the first hole, pulls out his driver, takes a mighty swing, and misses the ball completely. He yells, "Damn, I missed."

To which the priest responds, "Don't swear, for the Lord will surely strike you down."

A few holes later, the golfer whiffs again and curses again, and the priest gives him the same admonishment.

Finally, on the 18th hole, the golfer gets all air again, curses again, and just as the priest is about to take him to task once more, a lightning bolt comes out of nowhere and strikes the priest dead on the spot.

A booming voice follows: "DAMN . . . I MISSED."

Corny, I know.

TB4p

its still worth a thumbs up in my book

 

[Cibo]

Ha ha cool jokes.