Where you excited.....

[little_dragon]

When you first entered your BDSM "lifestyle"?

Do you like it more than any other type of play?

Little Dragon

 

[snowy ciara]

hmmm. Good question....

I'm not sure that I count as having entered as I've only dipped my toes in the shallow end so far but..

I had always felt that my desires were unnatural and wrong and all that, so yes, when I realized that there was such a thing as the World o' BDSM, I was excited, but more importantly, I was relieved. My first serious relationship was not bdsm; it was with a guy who was overly aggressive. It was like I mistook a strong, aggressive personality for a Dominant one, and unfortunately, things went downhill from there. So I thought something was wrong with me, with what I wanted. I had decided that I could live dangerously, (and after getting beaten up pretty badly, that wasn't looking so hot) or I could deny the submissive/masochistic side of my personality and basically live a life of quiet desperation. Then a friend showed me that I was wrong. She had found this type of relationship and she was happy. She is, however, on the other side of the flogger from us. Her journey was very different from mine, as she was afraid that she was like the Evil Ex, and she had to learn to reconcile her more exciting desires with what is socially acceptable.

My desires were normal; there were others like me, and there are responsible, caring Dominants and Sadists and such who don't lash out in anger, they dole out very loving pain in lovely ways. As I made my way into the community, and made friends there, and gotten to know certain family members in a new light (I'm not the only perve in my family tree!), I felt a sense of coming home, and a sense of relief, that overwhelmed my excitement somewhat.

I don't actually consider this a form of play, it's a way of life. There are those who simply enjoy the erotic charge of the power exchange, who keep it strictly in the bedroom, and that's way cool. But I've found submission to be an aspect of my personality; just like my unfortunate temper and my love of books and sports and stuff. It's not like playing at all, because of who I am. Or what I am. In my case, it's not a kink or a playstyle or a lovestyle. It's more than that.

 

[Deadwood]

It certainly is a hard lifestyle to maintain. With my first wife, it was something we both were into, and deeply so. We had a room in our home dedicated to it if that tells you something.

Some thought our lifestyle (we were very open about it) contributed to our divorce, but actually it kept it together for more years than it should. Even by her own addmission that kind of sex was the only thing that held our marriage together for the last few years.

Now that I am re-married to a woman that is a little more refined, I find myself starting over. We get into the role-playing bondage thing once and awhile when we want to spice things up in the bedroom. It's nice to start over and sort of seduce her into this kind of thing, but I miss some of the harder stuff my first wife and I were into as well. In the end I look at the hard-core BDSM with my first wife as being to great while it lasted. In some ways, all good things must come to an end.

 

[Hecate]

Do you like it more than any other type of play?

are there OTHER types of play out there????????????????????? *insert totally shocked facial expression here*

 

[snowy ciara]

giggling at Ms. Hecate It's always good to see your pixels round here.

 

[little_dragon]

are there OTHER types of play out there????????????????????? *insert totally shocked facial expression here*

I've heard "pony play"........sounds fun .

 

[*curious*]

I've heard "pony play"........sounds fun .

Do you know what pony play is?

 

[little_dragon]

Do you know what pony play is?

Yep .

 

[shyly curious]

.....