Where to go from here ?

[Faremistress]

deleted

 

[oldtopcat]

Helping Hand.

I'm a 31 bifem. My name has nothing to do with BDSM. I did not even know what BDSM was when this name was created for a game I played. As you can imagine after countles IMs because of it, my eyes were opened.

I have always had a longing to submit, and serve, I just did not know how to express it. For awhile my husband had me act as his Mistress, just for the sex thrill of it. I have never been all the comfortable with being served in that way. I do not feel very "good" at it.

I recently told my husband that I wanted to serve him. And he is very interested, as he had asked a few times before. I know he will be a wonderfull Dom once he gets over the "I'm afraid to hurt you" thing. I am trying not to top from the bottom, but it is hard when he lets things slide, or stops a spanking just when it starts to hurt.

am still confused on how to go about things with our relationship. I did complete a checklist for him, to help him get a better idea of what I might want and be willing to do.

I would love any comments and advice.

Vanessa[/QUOTE

PM me. I have acted in the role of 'Mentor' previously and would be pleased to help your master train you.

 

[JMohegan]

I recently told my husband that I wanted to serve him. And he is very interested, as he had asked a few times before. I know he will be a wonderfull Dom once he gets over the "I'm afraid to hurt you" thing. I am trying not to top from the bottom, but it is hard when he lets things slide, or stops a spanking just when it starts to hurt.

I am still confused on how to go about things with our relationship. I did complete a checklist for him, to help him get a better idea of what I might want and be willing to do.

I would love any comments and advice.

I have two pieces of advice.


1 - In both your thoughts and in your conversations with your husband, separate the roles of Dom and Top into two distinct functions.

Serving a Dom means letting him control the when, where, & how of your sexual relations. Bottoming to a Top means being on the receiving end of a spanking, wax play, etc. These are two very different concepts.

I am not pushing a semantics issue here. I make this recommendation solely to help you focus on what it is that you really seek.


2- Do not accept a stranger's offer to help train you privately.


If you would like clarification on either of these recommendations, please let me know.