Where to find others in the lifestyle?

Ladybug83

Virgin
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Mar 8, 2021
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I am new to my area and have no idea how to find others into bdsm, any ideas? I am a submissive.
 
Back in the day, munches were something you could find listed on Fetlife. I don’t know if that’s still the place to look; it’s been several years since I visited that site. Not sure that munches are happening with COVID, either.

As far as with a date or potential partner, it’s something to bring up when you’re talking about sexual likes and proclivities. I still remember the look on my guy’s face when I brought it up. We had both been on our best date behavior, “we are definitely not sexual deviants, etc” and I asked him if he had any kinks. We looked at each other for a silent minute and he said “Yes, I have some kinks. You?” I smiled at that and we really started talking.
 
Fetlife has munches listed and in many areas they have run online munches and workshops plus other events
 
As far as with a date or potential partner, it’s something to bring up when you’re talking about sexual likes and proclivities. I still remember the look on my guy’s face when I brought it up. We had both been on our best date behavior, “we are definitely not sexual deviants, etc” and I asked him if he had any kinks. We looked at each other for a silent minute and he said “Yes, I have some kinks. You?” I smiled at that and we really started talking.

Thank God we all have kinks. People are just on two spectra where they are concerned: How willing they are to look for their own (I'm not the kind of person--whatever THAT means--who would enjoy that) and how willing they are to communicate them with others. Everything else, as has been said, is commentary.
 
Definitely recommend fetlife. That said, I'm guessing many communities have put theirs on hold due to covid. We haven't had our usual one for a year, but a few were hosted in a park when the weather was nice.
 
I have found Reddit to be a great resource, Fetlife seems a little awkward sometimes but does have decent events. Only problem is see there is that its so well known that you get a lot of creepy abusive assholes there too.
 
I have found Reddit to be a great resource, Fetlife seems a little awkward sometimes but does have decent events. Only problem is see there is that its so well known that you get a lot of creepy abusive assholes there too.

I have no clue how a person even uses reddit, has never been on my radar but I keep seeing people reference it. How would i look for that type of thing?
 
Back in the day, munches were something you could find listed on Fetlife. I don’t know if that’s still the place to look; it’s been several years since I visited that site. Not sure that munches are happening with COVID, either.

As far as with a date or potential partner, it’s something to bring up when you’re talking about sexual likes and proclivities. I still remember the look on my guy’s face when I brought it up. We had both been on our best date behavior, “we are definitely not sexual deviants, etc” and I asked him if he had any kinks. We looked at each other for a silent minute and he said “Yes, I have some kinks. You?” I smiled at that and we really started talking.

I love this story.
 
I am new to my area and have no idea how to find others into bdsm, any ideas? I am a submissive.

Most of the old resources have dried up, There used to be a number of good places and user groups. Sadly I have to say that currently Fetlife is probably the best source of finding out what is going on anywhere. Just take it with a grain of salt. For everyone on Fetlife who honestly lives and has real knowledge of the lifestyle there are at least 4 other wanna bees or fakes. There are still a sad number of people who act as if its a hook up site. but still the best place to find munches and events (though most have suspended due to the pandemic).
 
For everyone on Fetlife who honestly lives and has real knowledge of the lifestyle there are at least 4 other wanna bees or fakes. There are still a sad number of people who act as if its a hook up site. but still the best place to find munches and events (though most have suspended due to the pandemic).

I tried to make one of those for my pen name and felt really bad that I put readers through that. It seemed like a good idea and it was... not very.

I have a strange answer to this though. It’s not a BDSM venue and it heavily depends on what your thing is and where you live, but some places have body suspension circles and those guys are really cool and open minded. It’s definitely not for everyone, but the people it attracts are usually somewhere in the kink world too and have connections. It was a place that came up when I was chasing my dreams of a kef brand, done strike style.
 
I tried to make one of those for my pen name and felt really bad that I put readers through that. It seemed like a good idea and it was... not very.

I have a strange answer to this though. It’s not a BDSM venue and it heavily depends on what your thing is and where you live, but some places have body suspension circles and those guys are really cool and open minded. It’s definitely not for everyone, but the people it attracts are usually somewhere in the kink world too and have connections. It was a place that came up when I was chasing my dreams of a kef brand, done strike style.

I know someone out here who is amazing at that. I would categorize him as a Top. As a Matter of fact, I had a slave who really wanted to experience being fully suspended... and she was scared because she was curvy and heavier than most suspension models you see. Knowing that suspension was out of my tool box. Accepting MY limitations and wanting to take care of my girl. After getting to know this gentleman... I trusted him to work with her and help her experience what she desired. It ended up being a beautiful event with many friends in the local community. She had an amazing experience. He is also well versed in rock climbing... so he knew everything about safety and weight etc. I still chat him up now and then. I have nothing but the most respects for him. He took very good care of my sub.

Yes, Suspension bondage is just a sub class of bondage... so it is very much a part of BDSM communities.
 
I know someone out here who is amazing at that. I would categorize him as a Top.

Yes, Suspension bondage is just a sub class of bondage... so it is very much a part of BDSM communities.

That’s awesome! Funny enough, I actually don’t know anyone who does the bondage :). This was through piercing and body modification circles for the Gilson hook piercings and suspension that way. I guess I should have said “hook suspension”.

Maybe it does still count as a BDSM venue at that, though, in the same way play piercing can be part of BDSM. It just seemed like more of a tattoo and piercing thing.
 
Back in the day, munches were something you could find listed on Fetlife. I don’t know if that’s still the place to look; it’s been several years since I visited that site. Not sure that munches are happening with COVID, either.

As far as with a date or potential partner, it’s something to bring up when you’re talking about sexual likes and proclivities. I still remember the look on my guy’s face when I brought it up. We had both been on our best date behavior, “we are definitely not sexual deviants, etc” and I asked him if he had any kinks. We looked at each other for a silent minute and he said “Yes, I have some kinks. You?” I smiled at that and we really started talking.

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fgifimage.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F08%2Fnice-gif-9-1.gif&f=1&nofb=1
 
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