Where is the passion?

[SweetStuff4u]

OK, not sure how to ask this... and get my point out there. After having a great relationship with my boyfriend for several months we care for each other very much.... but the passion between us has faded.
My idea of great sex starts with kissing, touching...getting all "fired-up". The way things have been going for us it's been just plain fucking, and not even as much of that as I would like. How do I get the passion back... I still feel the same way about him, but it's like the newness has worn off and he is bored with me now.
I miss the passion that my lover and I shared.... any ideas? Has this happened to you? Is it over? He tells me to be patient, he is under a lot of stress and things will get better.

 

[looking4fun]

They say misery loves company & I can tell you your're not along on this one. After 13 years of marriage & several kids. Passion has not existed in my house for the last several years.

On the bright side it sounds like your BF realizes the problem. While his excuse of stress & things sounds a little lame. However it also sounds temporary. So there is hope.

If he is open to discussion. Why not start discussing plans for a Valentines Day you will never forget. Spend some time shopping for Lingerie (sex toys, games...) together & talking about what you each desire from this night of unforgetable sex.

Hopefully as you discuss & plan this it will get both of you so worked up that "passion" takes over.

Good Luck

 

[LukkyKnight]

Bring him to read with you at literotica

There are so many ideas in the stories by the authors published here that you are bound to find many which incite both of you to greated passion. You need not set out to re-enact them, but I submit you will find some that you'll want to.

"I found this really cool place online, full of wild stories. Come sit with me and we'll read together or take turns reading to each other."

Most the authors who post regularly in the forums feature a link either in their signature block of from the WWW button beneath their posts. Not all authors chat, you'll want to sort through the listing too, and bookmark 3-5 starting points including the best story you find - save that one for last...

Good luck

 

[Vanyel_Ashke]

What about acting out your fantasies with him ? And vice-versa. Or dabble in some things outside the normal sex routine.

Go for a car ride and arouse him the entire time you are driving, but don't make him cum. Have him play with your pussy. (preferably while parked somewhere and his attention does not need to be on the road)
Get one of those adult board/card games and play it together.

 

[Mae13]

Here's an idea: restraint! Now, I'm not talking about full-fledged 'going for the headspace' bondage (unless you fellows are into that of course! ). I mean The Tease of restraint...

*Example scenario*
Have your place prepared next time you are with him...tease him while you are out that night. If you are at dinner, casually mention that you are not wearing panties (this is especially naughty if you happen to be wearing a short skirt...perhaps even suggest he drop his fork and give him a quick peek under the table! Midway through the meal, get up under the guise of going to the ladies room. Touch yourself while in there, wetting your fingers well. When you come out, casually brush your fingers across his lips, and whisper in his ear how unbelievably wet you are for him and gently nip his earlobe.

In the car ride home (make him drive of course!). Seductively tell him everything you'd like to do to him. Make sure you mention all the things you *really* like! It's a subliminal sort of thing...instead of stating how you don't get something you really want, make it VERY obvious how hot <insert your fantasy here> gets you! Positive reinforcement goes a long, LONG way . Touch yourself for him. Get graphic with him. Use those words 'nice girls' aren't supposed to use. Taste your fingers. Let him taste your fingers. Tease him mercilessly the entire way home, but DON'T LET HIM TOUCH

Continue the teasing at home. Get him into the room, set the tone, spice and romance. Have a scent sprayed on the pillow, light candles or incense if you like them, etc. Don't let him take control of the moment. Sit him on the bed, slowly take his clothes off, commenting on everything you love about him as each piece comes off. Switch off the stripping; take something off him, then something off you...every time you take something off of yourself, tell him how you love it when he touches you <this way> or does <this> to you. Mix the sweet and naughty. As you take off your shirt, tell him how warm and strong his arms feel around you. But when you take off your pants, tell him how *good* it feels when he fucks you with his amazing cock. But...the clincher is DON'T LET HIM TOUCH MUCH! Keep that edge of control; you need to show him how much better it can be when its not just a 'wham, bam thank you ma'am' sort of thing!!

You say he's quoting stress as an issue...introduce the erotic massage! Great stress reliever and definitely a good way to get some spice back as well. Get a calming scented oil, or something very earthy and sexy like sandalwood or patchouli. After both of you are unclothed, push him back on the bed and focus on him for a bit, giving him a strong full-body massage. Every once and a while, slide your naked body against the length of his oiled one. I find it especially erotic to rub myself against a man's back after my hands have been working oil into it! Keep that sexual edge going the whole time. Suck on his fingers before you rub them. Nibble on his neck, his ears, his wrists, thighs...anywhere your mouth is hungry for!

*disclaimer* (If you use condoms as a part of your sexual life with him, make sure the oil you use won't break down latex! And perhaps don't cover his shaft in much of it as to not increase chances it might slip off if you have intercourse after this treatment) */end disclaimer*

If it seems he can't just lie back and take this torturous treatment, introduce the bindings. Lash him to your bed (be sure he gets adequate circulation to hands and feet though!). MAKE him take out all that you can dish to him. Prop his head up with soft pillows so he can watch you suck him; look up and maintain eye contact as your mouth travels across his body. WORSHIP his body with your hands and mouth. So much of sexplay is mental; reassure on all levels that you like HIM, you *want* him, you need him...tell him how good he tastes, how hard he feels, how amazingly fucking sexy he is. I find that when I say things like that, it gets me excited as much as them! Words and sounds are such powerful things!

If you want to introduce intercourse during this session...it comes down to whether you are comfortable in the position of power. If so...keep him tied! In a way, you can use his own body to show him what you like! If you use condoms, put it on for him, use your mouth perhaps? Tease him with your body, take him partially into you, don't let him have 'full access' right away! Rotate your hips, flex your PC muscles around him, lean back on your hands so he is treated to the beautiful sight of himself entering you with your breasts thrust up toward the ceiling... If you don't use condoms (or if you don't mind the taste of them) ride him for a bit, then give him oral pleasure again. Taste how good you are together. Tell him how good you taste on his cock. Kiss him deeply to share your combined taste with him...

Depending on how you want to play it, keep him restrained through the whole thing. If not, in the midst of the fun, just untie one wrist, he'll do the rest

He just needs some training, with some good slutty mothering thrown in. Relish your role as a slut when it comes to your sex life with your partner! Be an unreserved, wanton, sexy catwoman! Play the cards right (and play HIM right) and he should pick it up damn quick that quickies have their place for sure, but it shouldn't be a regular occurrence!

You can also fulfil fantasies of his if you know what they might be...be open to anything, but you should never feel that you have to go beyond any boundaries you have for yourself!

*/end novel*

Whew, sorry this ended up so long, I got a lil carried away...must be time to find a man of my own to train!

Good luck SweetStuff! I think this is a pretty normal thing for a couple to go through. Sometimes it happens in a couple months, sometimes it hits years later, some lucky bastards say they never have to deal with it at all! Stress can really be a libido killer for anyone, men often seem to take that harder than women sometimes since they are "supposed" to be those strong studly sex machines that are always wanting and ready at the drop of a hat (at least in American society, heh). Liberal doses of caring, compassion and support can also go a long way in restoring some spice! Make sure he knows you care about him on all levels, not just as a stallion, hehe.

*hugs*
Mae

 

[aaron697]

Marry me Mae

*on my knees*

 

[aaron697]

I am trainable

*smile*

 

[JazzManJim]

Whew, sorry this ended up so long, I got a lil carried away...must be time to find a man of my own to train!

Well, I'm not all that trainable, but I'm great at taking suggestions and am a damned good improvisationist

 

[Mae13]

Aaron, aaron, aaron....

You'd probably be scared if you knew what I'd think of doing with a man on his knees begging in front of me right now <eg> It's been a while... be careful what you offer mister! *smooches*

Mae

 

[alltherage]

Can a woman apply Mae? Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

[Mae13]

Well hell ATR, then I'd have to change some of my wording around...but that'd be ok, I always did good in english class *w*

 

[aaron697]

Scared of a Lit Guru.....Nawwww

Not me, I am brave in the face of a hostile enemy that threatens me with intense pleasure.