Where do we go from here?

[RastaPope]

How did you get here? Did you ever sit and think about why and how your life got to be what it is today? What went right, what went wrong? Triumphs and mistakes?


I only ask because I've been doing this lately, well actually, I've been doing this for the past 5 years, and I don't like what I'm seeing. Not one bit. It's time to get on track, pickup the plan I had for my life, and live or die, see it through. Because my life won't be worth living if I don't succeed. Not one bit.

I live my own personal hell nearly all the time. In my own mind. In my life. I was stupid. I fucked up and I don't think I can fix it. Not that I won't try. I used to like my life. I used to like what I saw in the mirror every morning, mostly. Then it changed. Why did I do what I did? Because I finally succumbed, after a life without fear, to fear itself. Damn me. One decision was all it took, just one. Say something or not. But I didn't, I broke. A lifetime spent trying to emulate the fearless heroes I all but worship, and it all came down in one fell swoop. I'm tired of fighting. I'm just plain tired. Damn me.

I still have Buffy, which is some consolation. But in the end, none of it matters. It's all trivial. Can I keep living like this? Sure, mammals have an near overwhelming instinct to keep going no matter the scenery. Do I want to? No. Damn me.

It's like Andy Dufresne said in the Shawshank Redemption. "It's time to get busy living, or get busy dying."

 

[Debbie]

I often reflect on my life. Past and present.
I have found I cannot do a damn thing about
what is in my past just what is in my future.
I have made some really stupid mistakes.

A positive is that you are being realistic and looking at your life, not ignoring what is going on.
I truly believe that if you see things as they truly are and
want to change your life you can. It's up to you.

Don't give up, you can find the strength to keep up the good fight.
I hope one day soon you can look in the mirror and be proud of what you have achieved.

Take care.

 

[seXieleXie]

for a long time, whenever i thought about my life, where i was and where i'd been, i tended to get mired in the past. it still happens, but i have a different outlook now.


i'm going places, i'm just not there yet.

 

[SINthysist]

Don't look into the past.
Look into the future.
See the person you will become.
Live today like that person.

Something by Queen..., I've made mistakes...

 

[Kitte]

If you have one foot and yesterday and one foot in tommorow...your going to end up shitting on today.

 

[Soblue]

Sometimes people find fault with me for it, other times they think it's a wonderful ability I have, but I absolutely live in the present. What needs to get done now. No future plans, whatever will be will be. I leave worrying to other people.

I also can't remember or block out/don't think about a lot of my past. Mistakes? sure everyone has them, but today's another day.

 

[alltherage]

In the words of Scarlett O'hara. "After all, tomorrow is another day." I look to the past only in so far as it provides insight to my present. Thats what I shoot for but sometimes, late at night, when I am alone, and only fleetingly, I will remember a really ugly pair of shoes I bought in 1988 and flinch.

 

[Orwell84]

Some very interesting perspectives here. I try to live in the present with a watchful eye toward the future. I emphasize try because a tend to ruminate, especially about the past. In retrospect things tend to seem so obvious and I end up wondering how I could do so many obviously dumb things. Oh well, live and learn.