Where do I start?

[juicybootychase]

I am finding myself drawn to BDSM and I am finding some very interesting posts here..thank you to all who participate.
My philosophy is this:
I believe the responsilibity of being a Dom is much more deep than most newbies recognize. To me, a D/s relationship is a bond that is more intense than vanilla relationships. Trust is imperative, as well as some form of love, and respect for the limits of both parties. I could never be a cruel Dom, as discipline is comething that should be done with a steady, loving hand, and not an out-of-control angry hand. (After all, if a Dom can't control him or herself...how can they truly be a Dom?) I have done a lot of research to be sure that I am ready for the responsibility that being a Dom brings, and I have assured myself that I am.
But I still have questions...
Regarding "punishment".....what if a sub lives for punishment...I am unsure how to handle this...should what is routinely called punishment be a reward, instead, in this case?
Where do I find a Dom mentor, to guide me?
How do I find a compatible sub who has similar ideas?
Are online relationships a good way to start?
Any words of advice would be very much appreciated.
BTW I am married, and my husband is not interested in exploring this with me, but he respects my interest and supports me.
Thank you,
Chase

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I am finding myself drawn to BDSM and I am finding some very interesting posts here..thank you to all who participate.

Welcome aboard, pun intended.

Regarding "punishment".....what if a sub lives for punishment...I am unsure how to handle this...should what is routinely called punishment be a reward, instead, in this case?

Some might have an issue with the word punishment. If you're speaking of masochists that enjoy pain, that doesn't fall under the category of punishment. i personally believe punishment gets used for a pyl that strays outside the boundaries of what a PYL accepts.

Where do I find a Dom mentor, to guide me?
How do I find a compatible sub who has similar ideas?
Are online relationships a good way to start?

Try looking thru the stickies at the top of the page. You'll find a personals page and a library. Other Dommes here might point you down a path as well.

Any words of advice would be very much appreciated.

Best of luck on your journey.