When is it time for Nice Guys?

[Shadowbender55]

i would LOVE to meet a nice guy,,,but where the hell so I look?

Well, I am a nice guy, but unfortunately, from what I've experienced, I'm not the kind of nice guy that women want.

 

[tastylover]

Not with that defeatist attitude will you be.

States starting with "I" seem good, Sinnamongyrl. *winks*

 

[Shadowbender55]

Not with that defeatist attitude will you be.

States starting with "I" seem good, Sinnamongyrl. *winks*

I know, but women always say that they want a guy to be honest, and this is me at my honest. That really I'm not the kind of guy women want. And I know I shouldn't focus on that, but if no woman will say yes, then what else can be wrong with this?

 

[spiritshadow67]

I have to agree with that, coming from a genuine nice guy. I've done that several times and I've been told "no" so many times that I don't even wanna think about the number. Which does go a little hand-in-hand with what I was saying about "bad boys", since they're mroe assertive, women are more attracted to them. Then again, why is it always up to us guys to make the first move? I thought women were more independant in this day in age, shoudln't they make the first move to come to us?

Some of us - good women have been turned down as much as you men.... and maybe some of us are just as afraid of rejection... and hate hearing no thanks...

 

[lonelyinsnowlan]

Then again, why is it always up to us guys to make the first move? I thought women were more independant in this day in age, shoudln't they make the first move to come to us?

I've made the first move more than once.... and the guy fails to step up. We all have had bad luck. You can either be bitter and pessimistic or look forward to what may come. You have a choice about what you're future brings by how you look at it.

 

[tastylover]

I guess its a question every man has to face himself. If you give up you are gauranteed not to find anyone, though, and rare is the woman who is attracted to cynicism.

 

[sinnamongyrl]

Some of us - good women have been turned down as much as you men.... and maybe some of us are just as afraid of rejection... and hate hearing no thanks...

HELL YES to that one

 

[spiritshadow67]

HELL YES to that one

thank you ... thank you... *bows gracefully...*

and everyone knows it's the damn truth too lol

 

[sinnamongyrl]

Not with that defeatist attitude will you be.

States starting with "I" seem good, Sinnamongyrl. *winks*

I , huh?as in IOWA?

 

[Shadowbender55]

I guess its a question every man has to face himself. If you give up you are gauranteed not to find anyone, though, and rare is the woman who is attracted to cynicism.

Well, what am I supposed to do then? Change myself? Change my approach? What? Was is it that women want out of us guys?

 

[tastylover]

its a good start! Though yours truly is currently taken *winks*

 

[tastylover]

Every woman wants something different, Shadow. A lot of them tend to follow a trend, but you can't just *know* what any woman necessarily wants. That's why you have to just keep trying, because every response has a chance to be different.

 

[spiritshadow67]

Well, what am I supposed to do then? Change myself? Change my approach? What? Was is it that women want out of us guys?

Here's my honest bare truth answer.... just be honest and upfront.... don't change yourself.... because then you wouldn't be who you are... it would just be a false front.... don't be over cynical because that can come across as being extremely negative... and I don't think that truly you....try to look at things as half full instead of half empty....

but then... this is just my opinion.....

 

[sinnamongyrl]

thank you ... thank you... *bows gracefully...*

and everyone knows it's the damn truth too lol

yeppp,,tell me about it honey,,,,lol......

 

[Shadowbender55]

Here's my honest bare truth answer.... just be honest and upfront.... don't change yourself.... because then you wouldn't be who you are... it would just be a false front.... don't be over cynical because that can come across as being extremely negative... and I don't think that truly you....try to look at things as half full instead of half empty....

but then... this is just my opinion.....

I admit that it's hard not to be cynical after all the failures, rejections, and the times that I've been said "no" to. I know that's not exactly an excuse, but then again, have a look at my other thread and look at my pics and tell me if I'm "swoon" material.

 

[spiritshadow67]

I admit that it's hard not to be cynical after all the failures, rejections, and the times that I've been said "no" to. I know that's not exactly an excuse, but then again, have a look at my other thread and look at my pics and tell me if I'm "swoon" material.

I looked at your thread in the personals and I see not a thing wrong with you ... in fact you are attractive..... I know how hard it is to hear no.... and it could be that the women your approaching are too blind to see....

I know that if I was approached by you and if you seemed up beat..{by that I mean not negative} friendly and just be yourself and then asked me out .... I would not say No....

 

[Shadowbender55]

I looked at your thread in the personals and I see not a thing wrong with you ... in fact you are attractive..... I know how hard it is to hear no.... and it could be that the women your approaching are too blind to see....

I know that if I was approached by you and if you seemed up beat..{by that I mean not negative} friendly and just be yourself and then asked me out .... I would not say No....

It is nice to know that not all women would say "no" to me. THough some have suggested that maybe it's because of this place that I"m in that I'm fishing in a dead pond sort to speak. Then again, that's one reason why I'm trying online. So hopefully I'll have some luck here.

 

[spiritshadow67]

It is nice to know that not all women would say "no" to me. THough some have suggested that maybe it's because of this place that I"m in that I'm fishing in a dead pond sort to speak. Then again, that's one reason why I'm trying online. So hopefully I'll have some luck here.

ohhhh really... fishing in a dead pond... I don't think so... there are several that have met on here and having good and loving and long standing relationships....Don't let those that have suggested that this place is a dead pond... that's just not so....

 

[sinnamongyrl]

I also think that maybe everyone's idea of what "nice" is may vary.I dont really ask for a lot.Just please be kind to me,and those around me,be respectful of ME as a person,be honest,,and dont be selfish.BUT hell,,lol..it seems as if that IS too much to ask from my husband(which is why i am leaving).I dont ask for tons of help around the house,i cook AND clean,he can come and go as he pleaes,,,go out with friends,,they can come over,,I am NICE to his friends AND family,,I dont care if he looks at porn,etc i am NOT the jealous type at all,,i am not clingy nor do I nag.SO damn,,one would think niceness would be there huh?Oh well...that fine,,,cant let mysefl get bitter and crusty..BUT yeah,,I prefer NICE any damn day

 

[INeedLove]

That may be true, though I"d like to think that money may not buy you happiness but you can sure choose your own misery. Hehehhee.

Based on the above statement, maybe its not just the ladies looking for money?? Also you say you are not the sort of nice guy women look for-why? What do you think is wrong with you? And please don't say "geekiness" because even Bill Gates is married (ok maybe not best example).

Like several of the other ladies, I like nice guys and have no interest in the bad guys. But I do seek a man who can be assertive and decisive. And, I usually am attracted to the geeks for the record.

Best wishes!!

 

[Clint Taurus]

Maybe its my british mentality but I am suspicious
of anybody who considers themselves a nice person.
This is a judgement I feel, should be made by other people.
I have been in a relationship for 28 years, in this time
I have been a bastard at times, caring at others,
thoughtful, thoughtless, angry,
selfish, funny, depressed and happy and so has my partner.
I hope that I never aspire to some preconceived idea
of what its like to be nice.
After all, Eva Braun loved Adolph Hitler,
Noone could say he was a nice person
but he did it for her.