When is it cheating?

[Afterglow_lj]

Delete

Delete

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

In case there was a question...
...generally it is considered cheating when the penis goes into the vagina.

 

[subwannabe]

I'm saying that if you have to ask then you probably already know the answer.

 

[fgarvb1]

Bill?

Is that you Bill?

Did Hillary get some new cute campaign chicks?

 

[aimouse]

...generally it is considered cheating when the penis goes into the vagina.

Since that obviously means oral, mutual masturbation and anal aren't cheating, does that mean you can't cheat if it's with someone ol the same gender

 

[Leashed]

if its not something that you'd do in front of your significant other....i would concider it cheating.
that is unless you have some sort of open relationship, then you need to talk to your partner about boundries

 

[SweetErika]

Since that obviously means oral, mutual masturbation and anal aren't cheating, does that mean you can't cheat if it's with someone ol the same gender

Good point. I've never bought into the 'cheating = penis-in-vagina w/o your partner's knowledge' definition either because there are so many other activities that can be harmful to the other partner and relationship.

We've had this discussion many times, and I think the definition most settled on was something like:

If your partner doesn't know or wouldn't likely support the act, it's cheating.

That covers just about everything from emotional affairs to cybersex to sexual acts, and I think it gets to the heart of the matter, which is the effect our actions have on our partners.

My personal rule is to not do anything I wouldn't be happy for my partner to know about, that I feel I have to hide from him or that I think might hurt him, based on the conversations we've had about how we personally define cheating. And those personal definitions are really the crux of it because cheating is about the potential/likely impact of our behavior on our partners, not any given group's consensus on the definition or what other people think about our behaviors.

 

[subwannabe]

I think the Bill and Hillary Clinton analogy is perfect. I can still see Bill pounding his fists down saying, "I did not have sex with that woman!". The guy would have passed a lie detector test. Apparently his definition of sex was different than the mainstream and at the time he bought into it 100%.

 

[mynameisben]

In case there was a question...
...generally it is considered cheating when the penis goes into the vagina.

No, no. It's not cheating until the penis leaves the vagina. As long as it's still in there, you have diplomatic immunity.

 

[Abradix]

If you ask yourself the question, you're cheating.

 

[mjl2010]

Considering the OP left their post blank, this thread is gaining life.

I'll add my two cents, just in case anyone wants it.

*throws in two pennies and wooden nickle*

FWIW, I agree with Erika and anyone who agreed with her.

MJL

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

My original post was sort of a "tongue in cheek" smart a$$ answer to the question: "When is it cheating". Since the original thread poster deleted their query, I sort of jumped to the gun with my smart a$$ answer as a joke.

In all honesty, I think if someone has physical contact with someone else's (same or other sex) genitals or breasts, then they are cheating.

Personally I don't count phone sex, cyber, web-cam, etc as cheating. I just think that's for "entertainment purposes only". Incidentally, I don't do those things. I just have my opinion on whether or not they are cheating, and I don't think they are. I think you have to have contact with someone's body in order for it to be cheating.

I've been married for 22 years to one woman and have never cheated.
I'm waiting until next year.

Just kidding.
Jack

 

[Bandit58]

If your partner doesn't know or wouldn't likely support the act, it's cheating.

That's it for me too. I include "phone sex, cyber, web-cam, etc" in that as well. Cheating doesn't have to be physical - the mental/emotional aspect is a part of it too.

When I was married to my first husband, I discovered the world of cyber and phone sex. I knew my husband would be very angry if he knew I was doing this, so I carried it on in secret. I was, indeed, cheating by word if not in deed. I was not getting my needs (not necessarily physical but emotional closeness) met at home so I went outside the relationship for it. I'm not proud of that - but it was partly the reason I left that marriage, when I realised that things could be so much better than they obviously were.

*Just to clarify, I did not leave because I met someone else online*

 

[trb2216]

if its not something that you'd do in front of your significant other....i would concider it cheating.
that is unless you have some sort of open relationship, then you need to talk to your partner about boundries

that pretty much says it.if your so is not willing to do it WITH you, then it is cheating.

 

[PublicAffection]

It's cheating when you have a friend who took the test earlier in the day, and they are texting you the answers on your iphone.



I agree with everyone above. If you can't be open with your partner about it, then you are cheating - if not physically then emotionally.

This pandora's box can actually extend beyond person to person contact. I have a dear friend who considers drug abuse cheating - her husband refuses to get off the stuff, and she literally feels like he is cheating on her with the drugs. It is a chemical affair.

 

[Little Bird]

"It's cheating if you think your partner might not aprove of it." It's tha simple for me.