When did you know??
- Thread starter Xander
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Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
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I do believe in the one and only right person. I married mine. When did I know I loved him? Many times, over and over.
The first time I saw him.
The first time he tied my daughter's shoe.
The night he "dealt with" some guy giving me a hard time.
The first time he steadied my mother's walker.
Every time he put gas in my car without me asking him to.
The night he asked my forgiveness for his indiscretions.
The night he forgave mine.
We have not had the smoothest relationship, but we have always survived. I know this is who I am supposed to be with.
The first time I saw him.
The first time he tied my daughter's shoe.
The night he "dealt with" some guy giving me a hard time.
The first time he steadied my mother's walker.
Every time he put gas in my car without me asking him to.
The night he asked my forgiveness for his indiscretions.
The night he forgave mine.
We have not had the smoothest relationship, but we have always survived. I know this is who I am supposed to be with.
And how's that working out for you Roll One? I can't help feeling so sad for you. Your world must be so lonely and empty. To keep your emotions buried must take a lot of effort. I know that you think that if you do not love, you will not hurt but the harm that you are doing to yourself by not sharing your love is far worse than what any woman could do to you. I pray that you will reconsider your choice and let someone love you. I would hate to see you have to die in your own arms. I am curious about your noble declaration of honesty. When do you tell the woman that you will never love her, that you don't need, don't want love? Is is when you are introduced to her? "Hi, I'm Roll One, I will never love you? Or perhaps it is on the first date, finishing up your wonderful meal at an expensive restaurant.. do you look across the table at her and say, " I will never love you".. Maybe it is right after the first time you make love to her? Is that when you feel the need to be honest and up front? How about after the 9th or 10th time you have made love to her and she flat out asks you what your intentions are, how much of her heart she should hold on to, are you honest with her then? I think not, because any woman who was worth loving would walk away the moment those words came out of your mouth. You would spend alot of time alone then. May I suggest that your honesty only rises to the surface when it is too late for her. When she has already begun to fall in love with you and makes her feelings known to you. You will tell her then and you will wear your noble badge of honesty proudly, even tricking yourself into thinking that you have done the right thing... *S*.. I apologize for my diatribe, I know that we have never met but I have known men, (and women), like you and I can only walk away and shake my head in disbelief. You are missing out on the best part of life and it truly saddens me. The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman's heart. You are foolish if you don't accept it. Keep safe. Jade LoveRoll-One said:
[Edited by Jade Love on 04-18-2001 at 06:00 PM]
Xander
Rekindled
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Bottle up emotions
Roll Ones statement kinda got to me.
Having previously been one that didn't show emotions, and never allowed anyone to come close enough to experience love in the actual sense of the word.
Of course I can only speak for myself. A number of incidents caused this "shut down" of emotions in me, and it took me quite a while to open them up again.
As for the women that I was invovled with during that time. They all left, and rightfully so. I never told them I loved them, simnply becasue, well I didn't.
To me, being numb and have a shut down of emotions, in terms of relationships, meant this.
A partner became a pass time, and that was all she was. As harsh and sad as that sounds to me now, that was the truth then.
For obvious reasons there was no long term relationship during that time. Eventually it all bacame one-nighters. At least there you knew what you had and you knew what you were going to get. And that was it!
Even today I dont love easily. But when I do, I do it completely opposed to what I used to do.
I dont use the words "I love you" easily either. Only two people has actually heard me say them, in the complete meaning of the sentence, through 26 years.
Having an emotional shut down was easy. I didn't care and didn't give a fuck. I reacted when I needed some action, only to satisfy my own primal need.
Giving my heart aint easy at all. Now theres the chance of burn dowm and everything that comes with it.
On the other hand there's also the chance of feeling loved, having the feeling of happiness and treasuring it.
IMHO that sure as hell beats being numb and closing off.
I'd rather have the chance of happiness than the chance of nothing.
Roll Ones statement kinda got to me.
Having previously been one that didn't show emotions, and never allowed anyone to come close enough to experience love in the actual sense of the word.
Of course I can only speak for myself. A number of incidents caused this "shut down" of emotions in me, and it took me quite a while to open them up again.
As for the women that I was invovled with during that time. They all left, and rightfully so. I never told them I loved them, simnply becasue, well I didn't.
To me, being numb and have a shut down of emotions, in terms of relationships, meant this.
A partner became a pass time, and that was all she was. As harsh and sad as that sounds to me now, that was the truth then.
For obvious reasons there was no long term relationship during that time. Eventually it all bacame one-nighters. At least there you knew what you had and you knew what you were going to get. And that was it!
Even today I dont love easily. But when I do, I do it completely opposed to what I used to do.
I dont use the words "I love you" easily either. Only two people has actually heard me say them, in the complete meaning of the sentence, through 26 years.
Having an emotional shut down was easy. I didn't care and didn't give a fuck. I reacted when I needed some action, only to satisfy my own primal need.
Giving my heart aint easy at all. Now theres the chance of burn dowm and everything that comes with it.
On the other hand there's also the chance of feeling loved, having the feeling of happiness and treasuring it.
IMHO that sure as hell beats being numb and closing off.
I'd rather have the chance of happiness than the chance of nothing.
Beebeeblue
Wise Woman
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- Oct 4, 1999
- Posts
- 3,281
Xander said:
With Turner and I...it was weird. I didnt want a serious relationship when I met him. 2 wks later, we were talking marriage. It just happened. We were talking one nite, and I told him I loved him. 6 months after we met we were married. And we just had our 3rd anniv. Life is good..***** is damn good.
When did I know?
I can't say for sure my guy is the one, but he's in contention for the position. Yes, we have an unconventional relationship but we are very much in love.
When did I know? I think I always did know. The important thing for me personally when when I realized I knew. When I stood, watching him in his study for 15 minutes before he actually knew I was there...just watching his every move, every detail, and I think standing in that doorway that night, it just hit me.
I can't say for sure my guy is the one, but he's in contention for the position. Yes, we have an unconventional relationship but we are very much in love.
When did I know? I think I always did know. The important thing for me personally when when I realized I knew. When I stood, watching him in his study for 15 minutes before he actually knew I was there...just watching his every move, every detail, and I think standing in that doorway that night, it just hit me.
Orlanth
The Cheeky One
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- Apr 12, 2001
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- 17,860
The moment when I knew I loved my Katerina was when......
One hot, and sunny day, I was playing one of my MechWarrior games with my friend Mike in the states. After hours we dicided to give the game a break. Then we just were talking by BC, the he introduced me to his wife Katerina. She had the most sexist voice I ever heard. We talked for hours. We had so much in comman and everythinhg. Ever since then all I could think of was here.
I saw here on her webcam. Then she saw me on my webcam. We talked for months. Two months after we meet, we were together. Madly in love. Now, 16 months later, we are so crazy about one another, talking to each other on the phone every day.
We are engaged now. The wedding is planed for October.
We both are thankful to the internet, for we would have never meet.
So the time I knew. Was when I heard her voice for the first time.
One hot, and sunny day, I was playing one of my MechWarrior games with my friend Mike in the states. After hours we dicided to give the game a break. Then we just were talking by BC, the he introduced me to his wife Katerina. She had the most sexist voice I ever heard. We talked for hours. We had so much in comman and everythinhg. Ever since then all I could think of was here.
I saw here on her webcam. Then she saw me on my webcam. We talked for months. Two months after we meet, we were together. Madly in love. Now, 16 months later, we are so crazy about one another, talking to each other on the phone every day.
We are engaged now. The wedding is planed for October.
We both are thankful to the internet, for we would have never meet.
So the time I knew. Was when I heard her voice for the first time.
Re: The moment when I knew I loved my Katerina was when......
Not sure if I've got this right. You wooed your mate's wife over the internet? Wow!! I'm not going to let Panadolboy talk to any more of my internet girlfrinds. No way!!! LOL.
Macbeth said:
Not sure if I've got this right. You wooed your mate's wife over the internet? Wow!! I'm not going to let Panadolboy talk to any more of my internet girlfrinds. No way!!! LOL.
Roll-One
Literotica Guru
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- Oct 4, 2000
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- 788
Siren said:Xander said:
Jade, it works out just fine for me, don't feel sad for me, my world is not lonely or empty. As far as the honesty goes, i'll bring it up when the subject comes up, if she walks, she walks, that's the way it goes. If I die in my own arms, so be it, no big deal. Jade its not any effort at all to hold in my emotions, comes pretty easy actually, from a hard lesson i had to learn.
Xander, I'm sorry my statement got to ya, but if finding "the one" is the key to happiness, why do I know alot of unhappy married or not married couples?
Your statement: I'd rather have the chance of happiness than the chance of nothing. Do i have to find "the one" to have happiness? If i don't, i have nothing. I don't think so.
Siren has been a good friend, i was so happy for her when she found Wolf, i'm glad you got what you wanted....
YOU GO GIRL!
Xander
Rekindled
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- Dec 20, 1999
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Roll one
I was using myself as an example. i stated that I could only use myself as such, since I have no idea how anyone else deals with this issue.
as I told WS, about her approach as I will about yours. It aint working for me.
It may for you, I dont know if it does or not. If it does. You Go man!
And yeah I hear you about all those unhappy couples out there, which leads me to another thing. Is there a slight chance that it's the fear of being alone that keeps them together??
And I know, before anyone rains on this one, that there are couples out there that stick together because of kids. I am keeping these couples completely out of this.
isn't there a chance that the fear of being alone, day after day, prevents some couples from doing what is right for them and split up and getting the chance of finding someone that they truely love??
Just a thought.
I was using myself as an example. i stated that I could only use myself as such, since I have no idea how anyone else deals with this issue.
as I told WS, about her approach as I will about yours. It aint working for me.
It may for you, I dont know if it does or not. If it does. You Go man!
And yeah I hear you about all those unhappy couples out there, which leads me to another thing. Is there a slight chance that it's the fear of being alone that keeps them together??
And I know, before anyone rains on this one, that there are couples out there that stick together because of kids. I am keeping these couples completely out of this.
isn't there a chance that the fear of being alone, day after day, prevents some couples from doing what is right for them and split up and getting the chance of finding someone that they truely love??
Just a thought.
Roll-One
Literotica Guru
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I hear ya Xander, and i understand what your saying, If it's not working for you change things to make it work for ya.
Good Luck to ya, and i hope you find what your looking for. Happiness is sure to come your way.
Didn't mean to bring the couple thing into this. LOL
Good Luck to ya, and i hope you find what your looking for. Happiness is sure to come your way.
Didn't mean to bring the couple thing into this. LOL
Latina
Literotica Guru
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- Sep 13, 2000
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- 940
It was a gradual realization. We had talked on the phone every night for 6 weeks before we met face to face. His daughter is 5 years older than my son, so he had already gone through the things I was experiencing with MY child. It was reassuring to know that others struggled with THEIR kids, and that the kids outgrow certain phases. I think I was already starting to love him a little, because our conversations showed we had a lot of similar interests and the same life philosophy.
On our second date, his car broke down 50 miles from home. This could have been a tense situation, but we found we cooperate well together to solve life's little and big crises. I arranged to get his car towed to my mechanic, where we planned to walk the 2 miles to my house. But he has an antique car stored in a rented garage, which was only 2 blocks from my mechanic's shop. So he drove us home in his antique car, and what could have been a disastrous date turned into a fun adventure. He was so glad of how well we worked together, that he gave me a sweet, gentle kiss, which turned into a passionate kiss, which turned into a French kiss. His tongue felt SO good in my mouth, that I began to go to bed every night fantasizing about his tongue in, shall we say, OTHER places. A strong element of lust was starting to mix in with my feelings of love for him, and the combination of those feelings was irresistible.
We made love on our 4th date, and he gave me the very first orgasm of my life. And the second and third orgasm, too. Sure, I was already starting to fall in love with him by then, or I would never have gone to bed with him, but our sexual compatibiulity really made me sure of my feelings for him.
He actually proposed to me and slipped the ring on my finger while we were in the middle of a VERY hot 69. By then, I knew that I loved him, but that REALLY clinched it, and reconfirmed how much I love him, and loved his sense of fun. Only a man with SUCH a highly-developed sense of fun would think to propose right in the MIDDLE of a 69!
For a more detailed story of how our love and lust slowly developed, see my very first erotic story (two parts), at:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=1505
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=1506
-- Latina
On our second date, his car broke down 50 miles from home. This could have been a tense situation, but we found we cooperate well together to solve life's little and big crises. I arranged to get his car towed to my mechanic, where we planned to walk the 2 miles to my house. But he has an antique car stored in a rented garage, which was only 2 blocks from my mechanic's shop. So he drove us home in his antique car, and what could have been a disastrous date turned into a fun adventure. He was so glad of how well we worked together, that he gave me a sweet, gentle kiss, which turned into a passionate kiss, which turned into a French kiss. His tongue felt SO good in my mouth, that I began to go to bed every night fantasizing about his tongue in, shall we say, OTHER places. A strong element of lust was starting to mix in with my feelings of love for him, and the combination of those feelings was irresistible.
We made love on our 4th date, and he gave me the very first orgasm of my life. And the second and third orgasm, too. Sure, I was already starting to fall in love with him by then, or I would never have gone to bed with him, but our sexual compatibiulity really made me sure of my feelings for him.
He actually proposed to me and slipped the ring on my finger while we were in the middle of a VERY hot 69. By then, I knew that I loved him, but that REALLY clinched it, and reconfirmed how much I love him, and loved his sense of fun. Only a man with SUCH a highly-developed sense of fun would think to propose right in the MIDDLE of a 69!
For a more detailed story of how our love and lust slowly developed, see my very first erotic story (two parts), at:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=1505
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=1506
-- Latina
