When Did You Know You Were In Love?

[slyc_willie]

I've always wondered about the whole 'process' of falling in love. Is it chemical? Spiritual? A mix of both? Are we simply collections of atoms that find an electro-chemical attraction to other such collections, or is there more to it than that?

Before I met my wife, I thought I had been in love a few times. I had been with women from whom I couldn't stand to be away. I thought about them constantly. But with my Charlotte . . . .

The moment I saw her, there was that instant spark. That charge. I was inexorably aroused sexually and intrigued intellectually. I remember everything about her that day. She wore a loose yellow blouse with a red corduroy jacket, tight blue jeans and lace-up boots. her hair was loose and hung just past her shoulders, and she really hadn't bothered with makeup. To me, she was a goddess.

By the time we were on our second round of drinks -- a few hours later -- I simply knew the night was going to end with sweat and sticky sheets. But there was more to it than that. Two days later, after spending nearly every available moment together, I told Cherry I had something to tell her.

She said, "I have to tell you something, too."

We said it at the same time. "I love you."

Never had I felt 'love' before that moment. Cherry and I laughed and cried, held each other, kissed . . . we spent more time simply talking that night, about what we wanted for the future, than anything else.

She was THE woman for me, and I doubt I will ever think otherwise.

So when did you fall in love? And how did you know?

 

[glynndah]

My husband-to-be and I worked together in the same restaurant. He cooked. I waited tables. After a drunken "encounter" one night, he asked me to dinner at his house. As I recall, the menu was Tarragon Chicken (I can't eat tarragon); French Onion soup (I don't like onions); Saffron Rice (I hate saffron), etc. etc. You get the idea. We spent the entire night talking. At one point in the evening I even got out the dictionary to argue the definition of a word with him. (He says that's when he fell in love with me.

When I got home the next morning, I told my roommate "That's the guy I'm going to marry." We've been married 24 years this April 24.

 

[matriarch]

I knew when I realised I just couldn't imagine a day without her.

The best thing I ever did was going on holiday to meet Lucky, Vella and Min. Something 'clicked' the moment we first met in RL. Literally. From then on, it was just a matter of time for the first kiss, the first touch, the first time I told her I loved her, and the moment I asked her to marry me. Best decision I ever made in my life.



I spent 32 years in a marriage, much of it out of laziness and not knowing what was out there waiting for me. I hope with all my heart, that I'll have as much time with the love of my life, and really know how it feels to spend a lifetime with someone I love to the core of my soul.

 

[S-Des]

I was mostly certain after the second or third time we had phone sex. She had been "trained" to be quiet by her previous guy (very much into BDSM), and was shocked that I needed so much response from her. Within the first week, she changed quite a bit. She had opened herself up so much, and it was just for me (although I'm pretty sure she'd tell you that she's enjoyed the results ). I realized that I had never felt so attuned to someone sexually. Still, it took a month or so before I was sure it wasn't just a crush (or just a case of me feeling really lucky). I knew I was going to tell her I loved her during our first meeting, the first time I was making love to her.

After seeing her at the airport and getting back to the hotel, I knew I wasn't fooling myself. I waited until the second time (the first was a little frenzied ), then was surprised that she didn't return the sentiment. The next day I found out she was waiting for her own 'special moment' to tell me. By the end of the weekend, I knew that it wasn't just amazing chemistry, I loved everything about her. Our next visit, she came to see me and I introduced her to my daughter (something I've never done with a woman). I had no reservations and knew that they would click (my daughter absolutely adores her and often complains that I get to see Kiten more than she does ). It's still a struggle with the long-distance thing, but she is worth every moment that I miss her.

 

[scheherazade_79]

When I realised there was nothing I wouldn't do to be with her. When every time I looked at her, my eyes just lost focus. Cliche, but it was like a drug - I woke up feeling euphoric every morning, and whatever I was doing she was always on my mind. Trouble is, it blinded me to the fact that it wasn't reciprocated to an equal extent.

 

[Liar]

And how did you know?

When "see you tomorrow" lead to anxiety attacks due to being not together for *gasp* several hours.

 

[EmeraldKitten]

Since I knew my fiance since we were little, I guess there was love there already, just not the romantic kind. When we first got together, he pretty much admited that he'd love me since I was 7, lol. (Woo-hoo, that made him 10.. I thought at that age girls still had cooties? lol.)
When he asked me to spend the night... and then move in and said that he wanted to keep me, all in the same sentence, I don't know why but that did it, lol.
We talked and 'dated' for about a week before I spent the night... and the next night.. and the next.. then went to Walmart and bought shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, etc, and unofficially moved in.
When he put some of his precious Nascar collectables in the shed to make room for my shit, I knew he loved me, LOL.

My mom and I had joked that my boyfriend in high school would be a good choice for my first husband.. ya know, the trial run, lol.
When my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me and we went to look at rings and all that, not once has a 'first husband' comment been made.
I can see me getting old and wrinkley with him.

 

[matriarch]

Since I knew my fiance since we were little, I guess there was love there already, just not the romantic kind. When we first got together, he pretty much admited that he'd love me since I was 7, lol. (Woo-hoo, that made him 10.. I thought at that age girls still had cooties? lol.)
When he asked me to spend the night... and then move in and said that he wanted to keep me, all in the same sentence, I don't know why but that did it, lol.
We talked and 'dated' for about a week before I spent the night... and the next night.. and the next.. then went to Walmart and bought shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, etc, and unofficially moved in.
When he put some of his precious Nascar collectables in the shed to make room for my shit, I knew he loved me, LOL.

My mom and I had joked that my boyfriend in high school would be a good choice for my first husband.. ya know, the trial run, lol.
When my boyfriend said he wanted to marry me and we went to look at rings and all that, not once has a 'first husband' comment been made.
I can see me getting old and wrinkley with him.

I already am old and wrinkley........but I know what you mean.

 

[rgraham666]

I have, I've come to realize, never been in love. I've never needed someone that badly.

 

[Misty_Morning]

Dunno. I tried to convince myself that I was in love with my ex-husband.

I thought I was in love with someone until very recently and still have some feelings for her but maybe that was just infatuation combined with physical attraction.

The more I think of it the more I realize that I have never experienced true love. Sometimes I think I never will.

 

[_Lynn_]

I have, I've come to realize, never been in love. I've never needed someone that badly.

Walking away after 33 years, that is something I realized as well. Maybe some day.

 

[Guest]

i fell in love with her persona. i lurked and followed her posts. its kinda scary when i read that.

then one day, she spoke to me and i couldnt breathe. she was paying attention to me and i never 'asked' her to. fact is, i stayed away because of several reasons.

when we met in rl...after she drove 27hours straight to meet me, i felt at home in her arms. i love her today with an ever morphing love. comfortable, exciting, ever changing...bliss.

 

[pleaz_me]

I fell in love one time. He came into the store I worked looking for a new cologne. There was something about his personality that just sparkled. An hour later, after my jaw hurt from smiling and laughing, I finally let him pay for his cologne and leave. After that we were basically inseparable. He drove a semi for a living so every moment he was away I was planning our next time together. This was before cell phones so we didn't have a lot of communication while he was gone. Every time one of his company's trucks passed by my breath would quicken and I'd have to look in the cab to see if it was him. Once cell phones came out, we talked non-stop.

It didn't matter what time of day he got in, 2am ~ I was there waiting. I always had his favorite meal ready, as well as a hot bubble bath. He was a lot of my "firsts" in the bedroom but I could feel how much different it was. We made love, not had fun in the sack. We both took a week off work when I had a miscarriage. He wouldn't leave my side.

We had fights like every couple, and at one point he thought money was more important than love. The witch paid for his apartment, made his car payments, everything. I caught them and we never saw each other again. My heart had been ripped in two. He'd call my job occasionally and beg to come by, telling me he'd made a mistake. I wouldn't let him. Eventually he moved on and married a woman that took care of him financially because, according to him, "I can't love anyone ever again like I loved you."

The week before Christmas I found out his wife shot and killed him. My world turned upside down. I didn't think he could ever have that affect on me again. When I look at his picture the room spins. He "talks" to me. No, I'm really not crazy, but he did tell me he didn't have a flag at his grave. He reminded me of the conversation we'd had about how much he loved them. Everywhere I go there are memories. I still, out of habit, check the lots where he parked his semi... just praying it is all a dream and he'll be back at my side before I know it.

Do I think I can feel love that strongly ever again? Hell no. That love was so deep and so special that I'll never experience it again.

 

[rgraham666]

I fell in love one time. He came into the store I worked looking for a new cologne. There was something about his personality that just sparkled. An hour later, after my jaw hurt from smiling and laughing, I finally let him pay for his cologne and leave. After that we were basically inseparable. He drove a semi for a living so every moment he was away I was planning our next time together. This was before cell phones so we didn't have a lot of communication while he was gone. Every time one of his company's trucks passed by my breath would quicken and I'd have to look in the cab to see if it was him. Once cell phones came out, we talked non-stop.

It didn't matter what time of day he got in, 2am ~ I was there waiting. I always had his favorite meal ready, as well as a hot bubble bath. He was a lot of my "firsts" in the bedroom but I could feel how much different it was. We made love, not had fun in the sack. We both took a week off work when I had a miscarriage. He wouldn't leave my side.

We had fights like every couple, and at one point he thought money was more important than love. The witch paid for his apartment, made his car payments, everything. I caught them and we never saw each other again. My heart had been ripped in two. He'd call my job occasionally and beg to come by, telling me he'd made a mistake. I wouldn't let him. Eventually he moved on and married a woman that took care of him financially because, according to him, "I can't love anyone ever again like I loved you."

The week before Christmas I found out his wife shot and killed him. My world turned upside down. I didn't think he could ever have that affect on me again. When I look at his picture the room spins. He "talks" to me. No, I'm really not crazy, but he did tell me he didn't have a flag at his grave. He reminded me of the conversation we'd had about how much he loved them. Everywhere I go there are memories. I still, out of habit, check the lots where he parked his semi... just praying it is all a dream and he'll be back at my side before I know it.

Do I think I can feel love that strongly ever again? Hell no. That love was so deep and so special that I'll never experience it again.

*HUGS* pleaz. Life's such a bitch sometimes, isn't it?

 

[pleaz_me]

*HUGS* pleaz. Life's such a bitch sometimes, isn't it?

Definitely. It also makes us stronger though.

 

[Guest]

Definitely. It also makes us stronger though.

I don't know about the stronger part.

I know it makes us - different - than we were.

 

[impressive]

The pain some of us carry around is just breathtaking. Kudos to us all for surviving ... and even thriving ... in the face of it.

 

[Guest]

It hurt when she wasn't here with me.

but...sometimes I wonder if it was because she slugged me in the gut and it wasn't something emo after all. A few laters and I still wonder.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I have been lucky enough to have been in love several times in my life. The first lasted several years and when we broke up I almost lost my mind.

The next time was 37 years ago. She is my life, my soul, my bestest friend. When we first met I thought she was so beautiful. She was shy at first but opened up later. After a few drunken nights out, there wasn't really anything else to do back then, I came to realize that I was looking forward, to the exclusion of everything else in my life, to seeing her the next day. It was hard to stay away. I needed her by my side. I needed her in my life.

The third time was just a scant 3 years ago. But, my love is unrequited and I shall never really be a part of her life. She will however be in my heart for the rest of my life.

 

[jomar]

It hurt when she wasn't here with me.

but...sometimes I wonder if it was because she slugged me in the gut and it wasn't something emo after all. A few laters and I still wonder.

Uh oh. That's dangerously close to my favorite country song: I Still Miss You, But My Aim's Getting Better. MY second favorite is: How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away.

Sorry SW. Back to topic.

 

[Guest]

i fell in love with her persona. i lurked and followed her posts. its kinda scary when i read that.

then one day, she spoke to me and i couldnt breathe. she was paying attention to me and i never 'asked' her to. fact is, i stayed away because of several reasons.

when we met in rl...after she drove 27hours straight to meet me, i felt at home in her arms. i love her today with an ever morphing love. comfortable, exciting, ever changing...bliss.

scary but

thats totally me except for the driving 27 hours. it was a 1 hour flight from edinburgh to london

 

[only_more_so]

When did I know, or when did it happen? I've come to realize they are very different things. There is a line from LA Story that I never seem to forget, "Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment when love begins but we always know when it ends? "

I've only loved one woman, and even after ten years apart... Well, this isn't about heartbreak.

I realized looking back, that I loved her the first time we met. We were set up on a blind date and during dinner our eyes were locked the entire time. Part of the blind date was salsa lessons, and we danced much closer than we needed to. But I was so shy and inexperienced that at the end of the night I couldn't work up the nerve to kiss her. Our next real date, I offered her my hand so she could jump across a puddle, and they stayed together for the next three hours, and much of the next three years.

So the love started with the eye contact. It was confirmed in the holding of the hands. But I didn't recognize it for another month. It took me another five months to say it out loud, since I still wasn't sure that's what it was. To me, saying those words is a half step from a marriage proposal. She understood that about me and never mentioned it, although her friends tried to tell her I was no good because I hadn't said it. She even waited to tell me, so that she wouldn't pressure me into saying something I wasn't ready to say.

Heck, our first angry words were when I said something like, "That's one of the things I love about you." We were both drunk, and she thought I had said "I love you" and she was angry that I said it for the first time while I was drunk. Even though I hadn't said it.

Probably more than you needed to know.

 

[Seamus123]

.....

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

This still blows me away. Linny's daughter introduced us about five years ago. I looked at her and thought she was rather odd - didn't pay much attention to her in fact.

Months later I ran into her again. We had a conversation that lasted some time, but I had to leave, so I asked her if we could meet again and finish the conversation. She agreed and we met the next day and the next and the next...

I knew I had become very attached to Linny by then. On the sixth night we met in a Starbucks. In the middle of our nightly conversation, I just blurted out, "I love you." Where it came from, I have no idea. That is very unlike me. I almost died. Linny stared at me, then got up and ran out of the Starbucks. God, I was shattered.

The next night she was back at the same Starbucks and called me to meet her there. I did. She told me she was thinking the exact same thing and couldn't even talk when I blurted it out.

We've been a couple ever since.

 

[pellso27]

I knew when

the alcohol wore off and I still wanted her around, I must love her!