When did you become you?

[NoJo]

I've learned, from talking to people about it, that many of us have a defining moment, usually in late childhood, when we suddenly become aware of our identity.


My wife had it the day she defied her mother and walked miles to the record store on her own.

It happened to me when I was out walking the dog, when I was about ten. I suddenly thought to myself "This is it: This is me, and I'll be this person till the day I die." Since that moment I've seen the world through pretty much the same pair of eyes. My eyes.

For me the realisation struck me like an epiphany.

How about you? When did you become you?

 

[impressive]

I've always been me ... but, I do get a little more "me" every day!

 

[pop_54]

It happened to me this very morning... as I checked the obituary column in the local paper to make sure my name wasn't in there and realising that I was indeed still alive, (as I do every day lately) I suddenly thought.... 'Hey... today is the first day of the rest of my life... this is me, I'm still here and I intend to remain this way for the rest of my natural days, (with a few alterations for aging of course)... Quite what I'm going to be on my unnatural days I haven't yet decided, ask me tomorrow Joe.

 

[NoJo]

It happened to me this very morning... as I checked the obituary column in the local paper to make sure my name wasn't in there and realising that I was indeed still alive, (as I do every day lately) I suddenly thought.... 'Hey... today is the first day of the rest of my life... this is me, I'm still here and I intend to remain this way for the rest of my natural days, (with a few alterations for aging of course)... Quite what I'm going to be on my unnatural days I haven't yet decided, ask me tomorrow Joe.

I'm so glad you're you. Promise me you'll not change for years, and then send me your underpants.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I was five and my divorced parents kept putting my in bad situation after bad situation with their living arrangements and worthless SO's. I have this very vivid memory of sitting(wearing my swimsuit) in the bathtub of my dad's skeezy drug den/apartment and thinking: "You are tough and nothing bad is going to happen to you."

And, I was okay, for the most part. I'd say I was more lucky than tough. I've seen the world through the same skeptical and cautious eyes ever since. I prepare for the worst.

 

[matriarch]

It happened to me this very morning... as I checked the obituary column in the local paper to make sure my name wasn't in there and realising that I was indeed still alive, (as I do every day lately) I suddenly thought.... 'Hey... today is the first day of the rest of my life... this is me, I'm still here and I intend to remain this way for the rest of my natural days, (with a few alterations for aging of course)... Quite what I'm going to be on my unnatural days I haven't yet decided, ask me tomorrow Joe.

Pops !!!! Mwah!!!!!!!
So good to see you.

My defining moment.........I think there have been more than one.

Around age 13 I became vividly aware of my sexuality. I knew right then, that I was a lesbian, but had no idea what that meant. I just knew I didn't understand all the excitement and swooning the girls were making over guys and pop stars. My swooning was purely for girls in school, and girl pop singers.

That said, it took me until I'd been married 20 years to finally accept that fact, and the full realisation of what it meant.

But I think my most defining moment was when I finally had the courage to talk to the ex, and suggest that we would both be happier apart. It was far easier than I expected, and nowhere near as traumatic, until we told our sons. I remember thinking, "Now. Finally, now, I can really live as me."

Since then, my life has just got better and better. And is going to get even better, although how I could improve on the present state is hard to even contemplate.

 

[sophia jane]

I've had two:
the first when I was about 17. I remember sitting at the kitchen table. I had just been making cookies and reading Mother Jones (why I read it when I didn't understand half of it is another story); I sat down to journal and I just had this awareness of who I was, of how my conflicting quirks could all fit together nicely to make me me.

the second was a year or so ago, after ex and I decided to split. I just had this moment, when I realized I had been pretending for years and that who I had been all those years ago was still there, just hiding. That was a really great moment, actually, knowing I could come out and live again.

 

[entitled]

i've had quite a few of these moments. One of the first happened when i was eight. A cardinal was visiting the church (yes, i was at one point a good little Catholic girl) and i got tired of his pompousness and told him in no uncertain terms where to go and how to get there, then walked home.

Another happened when i was ten and made the 'official' split from the church, refusing to go back. Threatened to run away from home if the made me. They did. i did. Spent the entire summer hiking around the surrounding few states. By myself.

When i was 18 and went off to college, i decided it was time to become less shy and more vocal. It worked. People started to either really like me or really hate me. Loudmouth and opinionated version still at work today.

Then there was this past September... One counselling session, the only one i've been to in years, and it opened my eyes. Divorce and freedom on the way.

 

[AppleBiter]

I think, in a strange way, I've always known myself because I've always taken shit for who I am and it has never changed me. If anything, it has made me more steadfast in remaining my eccentric self. I love me and even more so, I love the fact that I'm hard to "get" because it weeds out those people from my life who don't have the strength of character nor the tenacity to work at understanding someone so different from themselves.

 

[cloudy]

When I started competing in Rodeo at a very high level, and had to make a lot of trips (including arrangements, etc.) by myself. I realized it was something I was doing for myself alone, and that whether I failed or succeeded was solely on my shoulders.

 

[Goldie Munro]

I am still waiting for it to happen!

 

[rgraham666]

I don't think there was any defining moment for me. As long as I can remember I've been different from the people around me.

Shrugs. Paid a high price for it, I'm keeping me.

 

[Fag-Ash_Lil]

When Og, writing as Jeanne D'Artois, invented me.

Fag-Ash Lil

 

[TheEarl]

I've always been very self-aware, rather narcissistically so in some cases. I have a minor obsession with what kind of person I am/am turning into. I remember when I was younger watching all of the television shows and reading the book where women complain about men not listening, not empathising, playing around with women's feeling and later, I read about them not taking any time and effort in the sack. I was very determined to be the absolute opposite of all those men, to try and be the best person I could be. Quite a weird thought train for a young'un, but it has shaped me as I grew up.

It's actually one of the reasons my depression finds so many chinks in my armour of late; I'm more than a little aware that I'm not as good a person as I was a couple of years ago.

Fascinating thread Joe.

The Earl

 

[zeb1094]

About 1968 as I was driving to work down Michigan Ave. past Grant Park and my car got pelted by rocks. All of a sudden my car was engulfed by a mass of bodies and swinging clubs and flying rocks. I actually thought I was going to die and my short life flashed be for me and my outlook on life has been through the eyes of an eightteen year old ever since.

I had unfortnatly driven right into the middle of the Democratic National Convention riot. How thrilling it was to have a ringside seat as my car was trashed and I feared for my life. After about an hour the street was finally cleared and I could continue to work after filling out all kinds of paperwork and such with the police. They never did pay for the damage to my car, bastards.

 

[Boota]

Three months after my fiancee left me. I had just turned twenty-three and we had been together since I was sixteen. The bad part was that I realized exactly who I was and I didn't like me very much. That took another seven years and a lot of damage to myself and others.

Now I know who I am, and I like me a lot, but I'm not sure this is who I will always be. I think it is, but I've thought that before.

 

[CharleyH]

I've learned, from talking to people about it, that many of us have a defining moment, usually in late childhood, when we suddenly become aware of our identity.


My wife had it the day she defied her mother and walked miles to the record store on her own.

It happened to me when I was out walking the dog, when I was about ten. I suddenly thought to myself "This is it: This is me, and I'll be this person till the day I die." Since that moment I've seen the world through pretty much the same pair of eyes. My eyes.

For me the realisation struck me like an epiphany.

How about you? When did you become you?

Good question, Joe - there are many defining moments to me though ... is not every day a defining moment that alters your POV? Are we not all, Alice in Wonderland?

 

[pop_54]

Pops !!!! Mwah!!!!!!!
So good to see you.

My defining moment.........I think there have been more than one.

Around age 13 I became vividly aware of my sexuality. I knew right then, that I was a lesbian, but had no idea what that meant. I just knew I didn't understand all the excitement and swooning the girls were making over guys and pop stars. My swooning was purely for girls in school, and girl pop singers.

That said, it took me until I'd been married 20 years to finally accept that fact, and the full realisation of what it meant.

But I think my most defining moment was when I finally had the courage to talk to the ex, and suggest that we would both be happier apart. It was far easier than I expected, and nowhere near as traumatic, until we told our sons. I remember thinking, "Now. Finally, now, I can really live as me."

Since then, my life has just got better and better. And is going to get even better, although how I could improve on the present state is hard to even contemplate.

Lo Mat darling, lovely to see you too Glad you found yourself in the end love, we'd hate to be without you

 

[pop_54]

I'm so glad you're you. Promise me you'll not change for years, and then send me your underpants.

Damn I just changed them Joe, I'll stand them in the corner you can pick them up later.

 

[oggbashan]

I've mentioned the incident before but...

When digging a foxhole under fire at age 10.

I knew that I had no one else to save my butt. Either I dug that hole or I would be dead.

Og

 

[McKenna]

I am still very much a work in progress.

I have a few defining characteristics, characteristics that one would recognize as "McKenna," but I remember no specific moment in time when I became aware of them. I prefer to think of myself as a fluid body of water, not a sculpture set in stone.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I think my essential self-awareness has always been there; I've spent a good deal of my life on the inside rather than the outside, so I suppose that for the young me a better question would have been "When did you notice that the rest of the world was there?" But I think a key turning point in moving that inside outward - that is, in syncing who I was with what I did and how I lived - came when I moved to another continent and stopped attempting a relationship with my sibling. It made a considerable difference, even after I returned to my home country.

Shanglan

 

[McKenna]

I<snip>But I think a key turning point in moving that inside outward - that is, in syncing who I was with what I did and how I lived....

Therein lies the key, eh? Very good point, Shang.

 

[Guest]

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

scary huh...

i dont know who i am yet. i know who ive been and who i want to be but for now im just coasting and being what i need to be...does this make sense?

one defining moment was the day i packed up the kids and left my ex...i think im stronger for that.

 

[Guest]

Damn near 43 years ago. Everyone know that.